To: His Royal Majesty, Simba, King of Pride Rock, Defender of the Pridelands, Lord of Everything the Light touches
Greetings:
I know that I am the last person on Earth you want to hear from, Simba, but if you read this letter to the end I promise you that you won't be sorry.
Now that you're king and all and have everything you've ever wanted, you must be feeling pretty pleased with yourself. But life is short and you'll soon be dead. Then what's going to happen to you? I'll tell you what will happen. The jackals are going to have fun turning you into fertilizer. Is that what you want? Or would you rather become a star after you die like your father?
The catch is you have to become a great king before you can become a star. And to be a great king you have to be magnanimous. I can help you with that. I'm giving you the opportunity to show your magnanimity by letting us come back to the Pridelands to live. We got pretty attached to the place when Scar was king and we'd like to come back.
I know you hate us, Simba, and I can't say that I blame you. After all we did try to kill you three times. But it wasn't personal. Besides, it's all in the past; can't we just let bygones be bygones? Why live in the past when we have this glorious future to look forward to? One where lion and hyena live together in harmony.
Becoming a great king isn't the only benefit you'll receive for letting us come back. We'd be more than happy to perform the same valuable services for you that we did for Scar. We could clean up the garbage, you wouldn't have to worry about bones lying around all over the place. We could patrol the borders for you and keep out the riff raff. And there's nothing like a pack of ravenous hyenas for keeping those lionesses firmly under your paw where they belong. We could baby-sit your cubs for you. I'd even be willing to perform extra services of a much more personal nature if you know what I mean.
Best of all, I could spare you from the stress of ruling a kingdom. Make me your majordomo and I'll rule the kingdom for you, just like I did for Scar! I know things didn't look so good when you came back but the drought wasn't my fault! If I could control the weather you'd be worshipping me right now…Just remember, if it wasn't for my exceptional managerial skills you wouldn't even have had a kingdom to come home to.
Just think, you could spend your days lounging around Pride Rock with your weird friends. It would be just like living in the jungle again except you wouldn't have to eat bugs. I promise we won't eat Pumbaa. I don't like pork anyway.
&nbps&nbps You don't have to worry about Scar, you have my personal assurance that he won't be coming back. We already took care of him for you, permanently if you know what I mean. He tasted pretty gamey, pity we were all out of garnish.
Another thing, no matter how much Kovu may look like Scar, he couldn't possibly be Scar's son. I was very close to Scar and if he had any love interests I would have known about it. I've never even heard of this Zira character. If she was so damn loyal to Scar how come she wasn't at Pride Rock fighting for him?
I hope this letter convinces you of my sincere wish to make up for everything I've done to you and live with you in peace. You'll soon discover that hyenas are very loyal friends just like Scar did! What do you say?
Sincerely,
Shenzi, Matriarch of the Elephant's Graveyard Clan
P.S.: If you don't accept my proposal another stampede can be arranged…
Greetings:
I know that I am the last person on Earth you want to hear from, Simba, but if you read this letter to the end I promise you that you won't be sorry.
Now that you're king and all and have everything you've ever wanted, you must be feeling pretty pleased with yourself. But life is short and you'll soon be dead. Then what's going to happen to you? I'll tell you what will happen. The jackals are going to have fun turning you into fertilizer. Is that what you want? Or would you rather become a star after you die like your father?
The catch is you have to become a great king before you can become a star. And to be a great king you have to be magnanimous. I can help you with that. I'm giving you the opportunity to show your magnanimity by letting us come back to the Pridelands to live. We got pretty attached to the place when Scar was king and we'd like to come back.
I know you hate us, Simba, and I can't say that I blame you. After all we did try to kill you three times. But it wasn't personal. Besides, it's all in the past; can't we just let bygones be bygones? Why live in the past when we have this glorious future to look forward to? One where lion and hyena live together in harmony.
Becoming a great king isn't the only benefit you'll receive for letting us come back. We'd be more than happy to perform the same valuable services for you that we did for Scar. We could clean up the garbage, you wouldn't have to worry about bones lying around all over the place. We could patrol the borders for you and keep out the riff raff. And there's nothing like a pack of ravenous hyenas for keeping those lionesses firmly under your paw where they belong. We could baby-sit your cubs for you. I'd even be willing to perform extra services of a much more personal nature if you know what I mean.
Best of all, I could spare you from the stress of ruling a kingdom. Make me your majordomo and I'll rule the kingdom for you, just like I did for Scar! I know things didn't look so good when you came back but the drought wasn't my fault! If I could control the weather you'd be worshipping me right now…Just remember, if it wasn't for my exceptional managerial skills you wouldn't even have had a kingdom to come home to.
Just think, you could spend your days lounging around Pride Rock with your weird friends. It would be just like living in the jungle again except you wouldn't have to eat bugs. I promise we won't eat Pumbaa. I don't like pork anyway.
&nbps&nbps You don't have to worry about Scar, you have my personal assurance that he won't be coming back. We already took care of him for you, permanently if you know what I mean. He tasted pretty gamey, pity we were all out of garnish.
Another thing, no matter how much Kovu may look like Scar, he couldn't possibly be Scar's son. I was very close to Scar and if he had any love interests I would have known about it. I've never even heard of this Zira character. If she was so damn loyal to Scar how come she wasn't at Pride Rock fighting for him?
I hope this letter convinces you of my sincere wish to make up for everything I've done to you and live with you in peace. You'll soon discover that hyenas are very loyal friends just like Scar did! What do you say?
Sincerely,
Shenzi, Matriarch of the Elephant's Graveyard Clan
P.S.: If you don't accept my proposal another stampede can be arranged…