A/N: Here I come bearing another angsty fic (it's all I seem to be able to write, lol). It's just something I had to write after hearing the song so it's very rushed but hey ho.
The lyrics are from A New Day Yesterday by Jethro Tull. Never thought I would ever use Jethro Tull in relation to Hollyoaks but there's a first time for everything.
Disclaimer: Don't own Hollyoaks, don't own the song.
My first and last time with you
And we had some fun.
Went walking through the trees, yeah!
And then I kissed you once.
Oh I want to see you soon
But I wonder how.
It was a new day yesterday
But it's an old day now.
I thought it was something I could live with but I was wrong. I thought I could accept your past with Brendan but I just can't. I just can't compare to him. I know I'm not what you want. Even if you haven't realised it yet I have and although it kills me inside to even consider it I know that you and I will never last.
We've never really been truly happy together. Brendan has always been this dark shadow lurking over our relationship. You may not have even considered it but it has all I think about most days. I constantly compare myself to him and how I can never match up to him and then I wonder why you ever wanted to be with me. I'm not strong, I'm not tough, and I'm not as good looking as he is. I'm the complete opposite of everything he is and I cannot see why you would ever want to be with me. If he just said the word then I know you would leave me and go back to him.
And that's why I know in my heart that I have to go. I can never accept your history with Brendan and I can't just sit around in this holding pattern we seem to have going waiting for you to realise that you can't live without him. If I don't go now then I never will. I'm sorry but I can't stay knowing that I'm not enough for you. I can't give you what you want, what you need so I'm going to go before I get my heart broken.
I love you but it's not enough.
Spent a long time looking
For a game to play.
My luck should be so bad now
To turn out this way.
Oh I had to leave today
Just when I thought I'd found you.
It was a new day yesterday
But it's an old day now.