"Come ON Polly, you said you wanted to go somewhere new and this is definitely different to our normal boring Friday night drinks – YOUR words, FYI" Piper pulled her friend through the doors of the bar and hastily bought two tickets at the counter as Polly sulked behind her.
"Sure. It's different…" said Polly, looking around uncertainly, "You know that words like 'different' and 'amazing' don't actually mean 'fun' or 'good' don't you Piper? Remember what word I chose to describe your attempt at cannelloni?" Piper narrowed her eyes as Polly answered her own question "Amazing."
Piper swatted her friend's arm "Fuck you. Parsley is a fine substitute for spinach. They're both green and good for you. And, fuck you, now you're definitely sitting your ass down and watching this show with me – right until the END."
Polly sighed and plopped down at one of the little candlelit tables facing the stage and waited as Piper returned with two margaritas. "So what exactly have you dragged me along to? You know I don't do musical theatre right?" Polly sipped her cocktail after clinking glasses with Piper.
"Well, Polly, my open minded friend, it's called a Burlesque show and it's supposed to be super sexy and naughty and funny and DIFFERENT to staring at each other and getting drunk at the usual bars."
Polly deadpanned "Sounds great. I should've guessed from the name of this place - Nurse Diane. Kinky dress ups here we come." She slurped at her margarita as she glanced around, "So why are there no men anywhere? They love this shit don't they? Have you noticed that or am I just facing a female only area?"
Piper made a bad attempt at subtly scanning the room and realized her friend was right. "Huh. That's weird. I don't know, maybe it's like a girl's night?"
"Girls night. Are you fucking serious Piper – girls night? Are we all gonna snuggle up and watch a scary movie and have a pillow fight? You don't suppose it might be, hmm oh I don't know, a lesbian bar?"
Piper's mouth opened slightly as she scanned the room again and realized her friend might be right. If she'd known, she probably would have chosen somewhere else figuring it really wouldn't be Polly's scene. But Piper clocked her belly tensing and her chest twisting pleasantly as her gaze locked on two women kissing in a booth nearby.
"Jesus. Take a photo Pipes, it will last longer." Polly shook her head as her friend blushed and snapped her head back. "Well we're here now and we've paid our cash, so lets see what this crap is all about. But you are buying the drinks, got it?"
Piper smiled and nodded, then her face abruptly fell "Oh crap. Pete and Larry! I told them to meet us here at 7!"
"Don't worry, I'm sure they'll be really depressed to know they have a free pass to watch basketball, drink beer and eat pizza without us. I'll text Pete and let him know we'll meet them later." Polly pulled out her phone as Piper drained her glass and took the opportunity to attempt a bit more tact taking in her surroundings. She'd scanned the whole room for a few minutes as Polly texted when her gaze caught the departing glance of a tall woman standing at the bar.
The woman's mouth twitched into a small smile as Piper's eyes remained fixed on her profile, busily processing how her dark hair trussed down her back and framed her face, how her long neck met an elegant décolletage and then, trailing her seemingly magnetized eyes to where the woman's v-neck shirt dipped. Piper swallowed and dimly knew she was staring but strangely felt she was supposed to be.
The woman calmly turned her head, eyes padlocking Pipers as she raised an eyebrow along with her glass. Realising she'd been caught staring again snapped Piper back to reality and she spun to face Polly, nearly knocking the margaritas out of the barman's hands.
"Woah! Didn't mean to startle you ma'am! These are compliments of Ms Vause."
"Ms Who?" said Polly, dubiously eyeing a nearby table of lesbians including a grinning butch who had winked when she'd briefly caught her eye and was now blowing her kisses.
"Ms Vause. She owns the bar. She's always happy to see new faces in the crowd." He nodded toward the woman Piper had just been gawking at. She was now in conversation with an animated red-haired woman, her head thrown back as she laughed. Piper pulled her eyes away as the woman pushed her glasses back up her nose and continued to talk to her friend.
"Well, please say thank you from, us..." Piper was used to guys buying her drinks, always loathing the awkward small talk that followed, but this felt different. Sweet and welcoming or old fashioned or something. She wanted the woman to know she appreciated the gesture and tried to put all of this into a smile at the waiter. He gave her a warm smile in return as he left.
Polly watched the waiter's butt retreat back to the bar "Mmm well at least there's a tiny bit of eye candy here. And it looks like your eye-fucking has got us a free drink – keep it up Piper Chapman you dirty stare-bear slut!"
"Polly. I was not eye-fucking anyone. You know that I'm a little lax on the whole staring-isn't-polite thing. I get it from my mother. Except it's rude when she does it. I can't help it if I find humans…fascinating."
"Sure Pipes. It's a lifestyle thing. Now shut up because this fascinating show is starting."
Piper looked across quickly as the lights dimmed to try and acknowledge and thank Ms Vause for the drinks but she had moved to sit in a booth near the bar and had her eyes trained on the stage. A burst of jazz music and movement from the stage pulled Piper's attention away but she felt an almost instinctual awareness of the woman's vicinity.
After three performances and several more drinks, even Polly had relaxed and was genuinely enjoying herself – laughing at the gratuitous jokes and slapstick sexual innuendos as each woman on stage worked a different angle into her routine. All of them were gorgeous in very different ways and Piper felt her cheeks burning at the end of the first half after a very fiery strip tease routine.
She was sure she caught Ms Vause looking over as the acts heated up and Piper felt as though there were two performances going on, her attention split pleasurably.
Polly turned to her as the curtain pulled close and the audience wolf whistled their appreciation "Ok please tell me that puppet in the second one was supposed to be Ray Romano?! I mean, what the actual fuck?! Ok. That was funny." Piper nodded and added "And surprisingly sexy."
Polly raised an eyebrow "Lesbian. Or Puppetian?" Piper rolled her eyes laughing as she got up "I'm going to the bathroom and will be back with more liquid bribery since it's clear you're having such a terrible time..."
"Ok but don't leave me for a lesbian puppeteer…"
Piper couldn't help scanning her eyes across the bar and the nearby booth as she walked past. Ms Vause was not there and Piper partly relaxed thinking with a tinge of disappointment that she'd probably left for the night or was talking to the girls backstage. So when she walked around the corner to find her waiting for the toilet in the passage, she swallowed a gasp and fought her natural instinct to turn right back around. Something like a weird mix of cement and balloons kept her in place and she cleared her throat. "Hey."
Piper waited for the woman to turn around, praying she'd said it loud enough for her to hear. To her relief, a raised eyebrow and easy smile turned to face her.
"Hey yourself." The woman's smile broadened as she watched Piper's neck and cheeks slowly flush pink and she appeared to lose the ability to speak. Piper's brain put this down to the realization that the woman had emeralds for eyes.
After another beat Ms Vause leaned toward her "You know, they say that staring at strangers is kinda rude, so perhaps you should tell me your name so we won't be strangers anymore and then you can go ahead and keep staring all you like."
Piper blinked and broke into a smile. Shaking her head she put out her hand, "Yes, god, of course! I'm Piper. Piper Chapman." The woman's smile shifted to a slight smirk at the formality as she reached out and shook the offered hand.
Really Piper?! Are you shaking her hand like a bank manager or something? And was last name necessary?! Why don't you tell her your life story while you're at it…
"This is so great, the show I mean and this place. It's all pretty new to me. I mean, I don't mean talking to strangers or you know, bars or anything, I mean ladies nights well, or actually, I mean burlesque shows and…" There it is. Life story begins...
Piper realized she was still shaking the woman's hand and so let go, immediately missing the warm smoothness of the touch but catching the sparkle of amusement and something else in the woman's eyes. "Anyway, you must be Ms Vause? I just wanted to thank you for the drinks and let you know how much fun we're having."
"Please call me Alex. And I'm glad you and your girlfriend are enjoying yourselves."
Piper guffawed and rolled her eyes skyward. "Oh good god, no!" Alex's eyebrows creased though her smile remained as Piper continued, "I mean yes we are enjoying ourselves but Polly and I are not girlfriends! Well we are friends, and girls, but not like that. It's like what I was saying, this…" she gestured at the bar in general and happened to point directly at two women kissing before spinning back wide eyed and red again "…is all pretty new to us, so…" Piper let herself trail off before she could make a worse mess of the art of conversation.
Alex laughed, "Ok, well Piper Chapman. I like that you're "new" here. I'm always interested to find out what fresh eyes see in one of our shows." Her lips curled and eyes harpooned Pipers, flicking briefly to assess her lips and then capturing her gaze again, "Perhaps I could come and sit with you and your friend after the show and get a bit more of an insight?"
Before she could tangle herself again, Piper forced herself to answer simply "Yes. I'd like that."
"Great so I'll see you after the show." Alex smiled and leaned in a bit closer "And Piper? Just so you know, it's a little more steamy this next half. But there's no rules about staring during a burlesque show…in fact, we encourage it." She grinned and winked and entered the bathroom leaving Piper to consciously close her mouth and promptly return to the bar, avoiding another opportunity for her foot in mouth disease to flair up.
"What's up with you?" Polly asked as Piper sat down with two more margaritas.
"Nothing. What makes you…why?" Piper stammered, slurping back some of the tart liquid and sucking the salt off her lips.
"You've got that stupid look. The gooey one. The dumb ass 'I'm bambi in a forest, please take good care of me' look. By which I mean, the weird, pathetic kind of dreamy yet sultry look that makes you look like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth but you'd happily use it to eat a big fat…"
"Ok! Jesus, Polly! I do not have such a look and even if I did, I do not have it right now! I just, really need to go to the toilet ok?"
"I thought that's where you just went? Wait, where the hell were you if you weren't in the toilet? Do you know how intrigued I had to look playing Candy Crush sitting here by myself to stop Crazy Eyes over there coming over and claiming me for her wife? I even had to take a fake phone call and pretend to flirt with my message bank!"
"God Pol, can you hear yourself? Not everyone wants a piece of you. Although, ok woah I see your point, are you talking about the chick with the little hair things – yah, don't make eye contact with her again."
"Yah. No shit. So where were you?"
"Well, actually, I got talking…to…Ms Vause, or Alex. The one who bought us drinks and runs this place. She's interested in our fresh eyes."
Polly spat her drink across the table laughing as her friend's eyes widened and she threw napkins at the mess "Fuck me. I'm sure she's very interested in your fresh eyes since they're the ones that were fucking her from afar before! God Piper, did she actually use that line?"
"It wasn't a 'line' Polly. She wants to hear what we think of the shows! She's running a business and is interested in our thoughts given that we're very…new here."
"Ye-ah. New meaning fresh? Like fresh meat? Piper, she probably wants to invite us to some lesbian fist fest afterwards. I don't do fists or fish. And anyway, I've already told the guys we'll meet them at my place at 10pm."
Piper shook her head, "You know we were supposed to be doing this whole Let's not be boring and predictable like our parents thing where we open our minds and try new things and expand ourselves for the better right?"
"Nu-uh." Polly waved her finger at Piper "I never said I wanted to expand myself, or any part of my person for that matter, nor throw my keys in a bowl or whatever. I didn't know you were going to make this some kind of sexual liberation festival Piper! I thought you meant tequila tastings or ten pin bowls or making kitsch voodoo dolls or something! And anyway, what about Larry? Aren't you kind of a thing even though you refuse to admit it? You've been 'not dating' for nearly nine months now…"
"Polly I never said anything about sex! If you're totally freaked out by the thought of talking to a smart, interesting woman, who might happen to be a lesbian, about your experience watching a show at the bar she owns, then that's ok! I'll talk to her by myself. You can go and watch re-runs of The Bachelor with Larry and Pete."
Polly smiled "Ouch. Ok bitch I will – but only because I'm actually tired and not because I'm not into new…FRESH…things."
"Fine."
"Fine. But don't think I didn't notice you not answering the Larry question. AND don't blame me if you end up in some kind of weird swing set up in a burlesque-y dungeon with feathers and puppets and…"
"Urrrgh!" Piper swatted her friend again and got up laughing to go to the bathroom. As she moved she spied a quick glance toward Alex's table where she sat chatting happily with the red head and now also a brunette she recognized from the first act. Piper looked away before they made eye contact and allowed a little guilty burst of excitement at the thought of talking to Alex again later.
She was serious about not turning out like her parents. She didn't need Polly to hold her hand. And she didn't feel like thinking guilty thoughts about how much Larry wanted her to just settle the fuck down with him and why she couldn't help but change the subject every time he gently raised it.
Instead, she looked herself in the eye in the bathroom mirror and thought about the first time Alex's gaze had held hers. A floating dull ache balled in her chest for a moment and she took a deep breath, turned around and rejoined her friend for the second half of the show.