It was the sweet chirping of a swallow, carried on a gentle breeze, that rang through the golden september afternoon. In the lush gardens of the Rainsworth's estate the small bird that rode on the faintest whisper of wind found two figures at the base of an enormous oak and lulled by the tranquillity surrounding the pair, perched soundlessly on one of the gnarled branches high above, were the leafs already showed the first tinge of a yellow death soon to come..
From there it continued its bitter-sweet lullaby, heralding of summer's end and a feeling too old and familiar to put into words.
Down in the swaying sea of grass, Reim mentally shook his head upon thinking such sappy things. "This lazing around in the sun clearly must have taken a toll on me. Getting all sentimental just from listening to a bird... Really... If Xerx could hear my thoughts I would never live it down!"
He mumbled mindlessly to himself, only to stop dead in his tracks, when he realized he had just voiced his ramblings aloud. He wouldn't put it beyond the mind robbing guy to actually be able to read his thoughts as easily as he vanished in cabinets and popped sweets in his insatiable mouth.
Unsure, whether his thoughtless chatter went unheard, he looked down on the man in question, who's fair head was currently resting in his lap and sighed in relief, when Breaks face remained relaxed and soft. He could have dealt with the teasing, but he wouldn't have forgiven himself, had he roused his friend from his apparently deep slumber.
Sleep had always avoided Xerxes, and Reim had more than once accompanied him on his silent midnight strolls throughout the mansion, but nowadays things seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. Before, Break managed to doze off after wandering aimlessly around for about an hour in the night, but as the years went by, his tours became more frequent and each time a bit longer.
Just when the last night was about to succumb to the silver lining in the skies, Reim had found him standing in the middle of the lawn, the first pale light of dawn washing his features out to greyish shades of nothingness and for a heart stopping moment, Xerxes almost seemed translucent, as if he wasn't really rooted in the present anymore.
Seeing him like this, like the spectre of days long gone by, so small, aloof and all by himself, made Reim jump the small balustrade, that surrounded his balcony on parterre and hurry over to the lonely figure. Though it was still early in september, there was a thickening layer of silvery mist, that had silently woven around his ankles clinging to the fabric of his trousers with a cold, wet touch.
The dew on the withering roses glittered like givre.
Though his advance must have been heard, he made sure that his steps were noticeable, his friend did neither turn, nor acknowledge his presence, keeping his unseeing eyes fixed upon a point just beyond the horizon, as if watching the rising sun. He missed it by a few degrees.
His pale face showed a haunted expressing, sorrow obvious on his brow, his gaze clouded and his breathing erratic. His shirt had come loose and was swaying around his slender form and Reim wondered briefly, if he had lost weight again. Probably. He made a mental note to himself, to treat Xerxes to any cake he wished for in the afternoon, just to make sure, that his failing body got at least a bit of sustenance.
But for now, there were more pressing matters to be tended to. Unsure, how to begin – what do you say, when the person you've come to care about oh so much is standing right in front of you, but gives off the air of being miles and miles away- he settled for an direct approach.
His hand came down gently on Break's shoulder and he couldn't help but flinch inwardly at the way the bones protruded under his fingers. Like a bird. A bird that could be broken anytime if you just made the slightest effort. Hadn't he seen it himself, he would have never thought Break capable of fighting.
Reim sighed.
"Hey, Xerx! What's wrong? Can't sleep again? How long have-"
At his words, though softly spoken, Break jerked violently and spun round, shoving Reim backwards with a force that send him to the ground.
Shocked confusion apparent on his features, Reim got to his feet unsteadily all the while the Hatter watched him with a weary expression of distrust.
His remaining crimson eye seemed steady and focussed solemnly on the man in front of him but Reim caught the undercurrent of a hidden turmoil, as if Break was trapped within his own wretched mind, desperately trying to stop himself from hurting his precious friend further.
As if he was still bound be unseen threads, linked to a time when neither Reim nor anyone else would have been considered a precious friend. Everyone but another sacrifice to satisfy the bloodlust of his chain. To silence the raging guilt.
As if in trance, Break unsheathed his thin- but oh so strong, never once defeated- sword and the first red streak of dawn bathed the edge in a premonition of brightest red.
And for one startling second the katana seemed to be dripping with blood yet to be shed.
In this fleeting moment Reim saw it very clearly- the slightest trembling of Breaks ever steady hand, the briefest sign of hesitation ghosting through his transfixed gaze.
"And who might you be?" Break snarled, murder barely hidden in his voice.
"Xerx... what's wrong? Who could I possibly be?" Reim's head was reeling. What on earth was going on? Did something happen that had shaken the other out of his wits? But the mansion remained silent, there was no apparent sign of violence- so what...
"You think you can fool me?" Break hissed, his voice brittle. "You can't possibly be here! You died in that blood stained cellar tonight! I've seen your body, felt the stilness of your chest. There's no way you could be standing here now! Wretched imposter, you sure have a nerve to pretend nothing happened!"
His blood red eye was ablaze with rage and ill intend, but beneath it all Reim could make out the grief, the confusion and the doubt, that seemed to be swirling through Breaks subconscious.
And suddenly he got a grasp of the situation. In the first cold light of morning, everything fell into place and he nearly sobbed with relief.
"Hey, Xerxes... " he asked softly "how could you have possibly seen my body tonight? You have been blind for six months now."
Break's head snapped up at the statement, bewilderment showing on his face. "I..."
But Reim wouldn't hear any of it. He knew, if he couldn't talk Break down, here and now, things would spiral out of control, so there was no way, he'd let the other have even the slightest chance to retort
"Furthermore, the party at Isla Yura's mansion took place months ago. I made it out alive, remember? Though I'm still sorry I had to hurt you that way. So I guess this " and with those words he made a general gesture in Breaks direction " is kind of my fault."
While talking he had gradually, slowly, approached Break once again, the way a caring child would approach a stray dog. Lovingly, openly and full of trust, yet ready to be lashed out at any second.
Just as his hands- always reaching, always gentle and prone to ease Breaks burden, if only by a fraction- nearly made contact with the others chest, the Hatter brought down his sword.
Reim caught it easily with his hands, and though the blow was far from fatal, red buds bloomed viciously from his palms.
"Xerxes, it was but a dream!" He said, his grip still unyealding around the blade. A small trickle of blood made it's maddeningly slow way towards the hilt all the while a steady dripping stained the grass around their feet a dark crimson.
"Last night we were having tea and a shameless amount of cake, don't you remember? I stayed with you, filing your reports, until you finally fell asleep. Maybe I shouldn't have left you to wake all by yourself, but..." He trailed off and sighed deeply.
"Please, just snap out of it!" And with that he let go of the blade and closed the gap between them in one fluid motion. Bringing both of his bloodied hands to Breaks chest, he nuzzled his head in the crook of his neck and sighed
"I'm right here! And I don't intend on leaving you anytime soon. So please..."
He had felt the other stiffen at the first contact, but soon enough the tension ceased. A clatter to his left indicated that the Hatter's slackened hand had dropped the deadly thread of the sword and the next second Break's legs gave out underneath him.
Reim caught his slender form in his arms and slowly, gently, lowered them both to the ground.
His hands had started to rub ruby circles on the small of Break's back and his head rested heavily on his shoulder. Gradually the bated breathing subsided and a small voice, nearly unrecognisable for the unfamiliarity of tune, reached his ear.
"Reim? Are you really there?"
With another heavy sigh Reim tried to sooth whatever terror might have been hunting Break.
"Of course I am. Still alive and kicking, so there's nothing for you to worry about. It is as I said, this cursed party took place months ago. It's just that you have the habit to get caught up in your dreams. You always had. So, just listen and you'll feel I'm perfectly fine."
Well, except for the gushes at my palms, Reim added silently and grimaced at the amount of blood he had already smeared all over Breaks pristine white shirt. Well, it couldn't be helped now, but he had to get rid of the evidence, before Sharon caught wind of this unpleasant scene.
And still, the only thing he could focus on right now, was Break's presence in the lose circle of his arms and how he had started trembling all over.
"I was sure I had killed you, you know." His voice was but a strained whisper. "You lay so very still and my sword was glistening with your blood. And there I stood laughing, because there was nothing else left for me to do."
"Xerxes, listen to me!" Reim cupped his face with both hands, pointedly ignoring the bloody marks it left on Break's far to pale skin. "You could never do such a thing. There is no way in hell, you could ever harm me. If I've ever been sure of one thing, it's that. And I've told you times and again, but as it seems, I have to tell you once more, just to make sure, it'll get trough to you this time:
What happened at the party wasn't your fault. I volunteered for the task just so that you could accomplish YOUR goals. You never really told me what they are, but I think I got the rough idea. So, yeah... It's alright. It's all just inside your head.
Maybe, if you weren't such a stubborn moron, you could just confide in other people and for once be clear about what's going on in that crazy mind of yours, but god forbid..."
Suddenly there was the slightest of chuckles next to his ear and the next thing Reim knew, two arms had wormed their way around his shoulders.
"Please, for once go easy on me, mother hen!" And that was really all there was to say.
They stayed that way for quite the time, Break's head still buried in Reim's shoulder, his own resting atop the silvery mop, and both silently drinking in the others presence. The sky above them a stunning massacre that bled through the thin veil of mist still lingering in the stiff grasp of the briars.
Just when the sun lazily kissed the new day with a baptism of scarlet, the Hatter crinkled his nose, starting to sniff here and there, than reaching quickly to catch Reim's hands.
"Do I smell blood here?"
The two deep cuts had been bleeding sluggishly for some time now, and suddenly Reim's head started to spin, when he looked at the mess he had made out of Xerxes' shirt, and the lawn in general.
"I did that to you, didn't I?" Break's voice had turned to a venomous hiss, as soon as he found his friend flinching away from his touch.
"It's not like that, Xerx, I just happen to grip your sword and...It's fine, you hear me?"
"Doesn't look like it!" Break huffed, but Reim wouldn't have it, not now, not when he was bonetired, exhausted and his hands hurt like hell.
"As if you could see any of this!" he remarked moodily, only to be dragged to his feet and ushered towards the main entrance of the house.
"Let's get you patched up and then... how about carelessly sleeping the day away in the garden?"
"Xerx, you know no shame, do you? I still have three of your reports to file and ah..." Reim didn't get any further with his sermon, since Break had just wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him close.
"Those things can wait. We still have plenty of time to take care of this madness. Only today... let's just sneak away and have tea in the garden."
And Reim let it slip. Because he knew they didn't have enough time to take care of all the madness around them. Because the moments they still had together had to be counted in Breaks heartbeats, breaths and obnoxious laughters.
As long as there was still a faint, but steady warmth seeping through his clothes from the man next to him, he knew he would put up with any allnighter he'd had to pull and every antic this lunatic would throw at him, just to keep this warmth by his side one moment longer.
And so they ended up sneaking away from their duties some hours later, to have tea and cake somewhere deep in the gardens, where no one was prone to find them.
When Reim's head got all fuzzy from the sun and the lack of sleep, he proposed resting in the shades of an oak, he used to climb as a kid. The afternoon sun bathed the gardens in a golden light and some late roses scented the air with the last reminiscence of summer, though the sky had already taken on the blue vastness of autumn. The very first golden leaves flitted through the air and a swallows sang its parting song from somewhere high above their heads.
Break had been leaning gently against Reim's shoulder, his hands roaming idly over the bandages covering the others hands, but soon the movements became more sluggish, until they stilled completely.
When the weight on his shoulder seemed to be getting heavier by the minute, he glanced sideways, only to find Break sound asleep, his head nestled nicely into the crook of his neck, the white strands tickling his ear.
Carefully, as not to rouse his precious companion, Reim guided Breaks light form down, to rest his head in his lap, bandaged fingers gently brushing the unruly bangs out of his eyes. The Hatters features were peaceful and relaxed and if it wasn't for the slightest slacking of his left eye, his face nearly seemed complete and unharmed.
Reim's fingertips ghosted over the marred, tender skin. Just a reminder, that not everything that once was broken has to remain unloved.
No, some things won't be complete, until they've been broken by fate and rebuild be a loving, caring hand.
Getting sappy again... Reim thought to himself. And while his hands busied themselves in threading through the silky strands of woven silver, his head came to rest heavily against the rough bark of the oak. His eyes grew heavy in the air rich with earthen and flowery scents and moments later the swallow found both of them asleep, a large, warm hand still tangled in the pale locks of the smaller man, the other resting somewhere close to his cheek, as if to feel the steady puffs of air, as if to make sure Reim would not miss any of the breaths, his seconds and hours were measured in.
The swallow continued its humming for a little more, but when it found its songs were wasted on the sleeping figures below it left the oak and vanished into the infinite blue.
Silently the oak shed its first crumpled leaf and as it tumbled down, a slow decay, it got caught up in strands of snowy white, like a bitter reminder, that autumn will inevitably be followed by winter's cold dead grasp.