Notes: Thanks to Mari and Sammy for being the best of the best. And thanks to Sammy for the title!

Readers and REAL McRollers - thank you for your amazing support and your love for the REAL World characters!

Special thanks to my youngest niece who keeps providing such funny moments that *have* to be immortalized in fiction :-)

Hope you enjoy!

Unicorns and Chopped Liver (A McRoll in the REAL World Story)

A loud "We'e he'we!" preceded the door of the condo opening. Joan barreled inside ahead of Mary, Aaron, and Joseph who had gone to pick the trio up from the airport.

"There you are!" Elizabeth said, smiling warmly as she came out of the kitchen. "We've been waiting for you."

Joan squealed happily and ran into Elizabeth's legs, giving her a hug. "Is Baby Angie he'we?" she asked. "Unca Joseph said she was he'we."

"In here, Joanie," Steve called from the living room.

Joan ran toward his voice and squealed again when she saw Angie sitting between Steve's legs, a ring of plastic keys in one of her hands.

"Baby Angie!" She slid to her knees in front of her cousin.

Angie laughed, flapping her arms happily, and the keys dropped to the ground.

"Oops! He'we, Baby Angie," Joan said, picking them up and holding them out to her. "He'we aw you' keys."

From her armchair, Grandma Ang nudged Steve with her foot. "I guess we've become chopped liver, eh?"

He chuckled.

"Hey, peanut," Mary said from the doorway. "Why don't you say hello to Grandma Ang and Uncle Steve, too?"

Joan looked up and smiled toothily at the other occupants in the room. She patted Smokey who had come over to greet her. "Hi, Smokey! Hi, Unca Steve! Hi, Gwandma Ang!"

"Hi, Joanie," Steve said, still chuckling.

"Welcome, sweetheart," Ang said. "We're so glad you're here."

"Hi, honey," Catherine said from behind her.

Joan whipped her head around toward the voice. "Ann Caf! Whe'e was you?"

"Where were you," Mary corrected.

Catherine smiled. "I was in the kitchen with Aunt Elizabeth cooking dinner."

"I'm hungwy, Mama," Joan said immediately at the mention of dinner. "I want wac-a-woni and cheese."

"I don't think we're having macaroni and cheese, peanut."

"It just so happens we did make a side of macaroni and cheese," Elizabeth said. "And we also have those grilled chicken strips your mom says you love so much."

Joan beamed excitedly. "Yay!"

"Ohh, you didn't have to do that," Mary said.

"Nonsense," Elizabeth said. "After a long day of travel, she should have something yummy for dinner. And something she'll actually eat."

"Can I help you feed Baby Angie?" Joan asked, looking back at Steve.

"Sure, Joanie."

She barely had time to get excited about that before finally noticing the Christmas tree in the corner that still had presents underneath it.

"You have a Chwistmas twee!" she cried, jumping up and running over to it. "There's pwesents! Santa came to you' house, too!"

"And I have a strong suspicion most of those are for you," Aaron said, following her quickly and scooping her up before she could grab any of the colorfully wrapped boxes. He held her upside down and she squealed delightedly. "But we're gonna get settled and eat before we open them, okay, pumpkin?"

"We can open them aftew we eat?"

"After we eat," Ang assured her with a smile. "And not a second later."

True to Grandma Ang's word, they opened presents right after dinner, then relaxed in the living room, catching up.

Steve was back on the floor with Angie, and Joan sat so close she was practically in his lap as well. She was trying to entice Angie with the Rock & Glow Unicorn she had picked out for her cousin, but Angie was far more interested in her new Beep & Go Baby Keys, three colorful plastic keys attached to a flat car that beeped, honked, and played music.

"I'm sorry, Joanie," Steve said after Angie once again snubbed the unicorn in favor of the keys. "She just really has a thing for keys right now."

"But it wuns, Baby Angie," Joan persisted. "See?" She slid the switch and the toy unicorn rocked back and forth as it rolled across the carpet. Joan scrambled after it and brought it back to Angie.

"She likes things she can hold in her hands," Catherine said from her seat on the sofa. "But I'm sure once she starts crawling, she'll love chasing the unicorn around."

"Hey, looks like I got the right size," Elizabeth said as Aaron came back into the living room, having donned his new lightweight Steelers hoodie.

"Fits perfectly," he said. "And this is great because my old one is getting pretty worn."

Mary snorted. "Oh yes, it is definitely time to retire that one. But while you were gone, I confiscated your other present." She ran her hands over the soft fleece Steelers blanket.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Ang asked. "I have a Cubs one just like it. Though now that we live in Hawaii, I don't exactly need it for warmth."

"I figured you could use it to hide beneath in case any more games go down to the wire," Joseph said to Aaron with a teasing smile.

"Ugh, don't remind me. I'm still not over the loss to the Pats."

"Because," Mary rolled her eyes as she raised her hands and made air quotes, "we didn't really lose. We were robbed by the replay refs."

"We were," Aaron grumbled.

"Well, you'll have to find something else to hide beneath, because this is mine now," Mary said, grinning at Aaron as he plopped down beside her on the loveseat.

He grinned back, giving her a quick kiss.

Joan, near their feet, tugged on the ponytail holder that was falling out of her hair. "Here, Mama," she said, handing it to her and resuming her efforts to get Angie to play with the unicorn.

"Thanks, peanut," Mary said. She looked at the others. "If her hair looks a little greasier than normal, that's because it is."

Aaron sighed, shaking his head as he put his arm around her shoulder and settled against the back of the loveseat.

"I'm sensing a story there …?" Elizabeth prompted.

"We went to a party a couple weeks ago at a friend's house and one of the older girls had hair chalk," Mary explained. "Of course Joan thought that was the best thing ever."

"Hair chalk?" Steve asked.

"Exactly what it sounds like," Aaron said. "But it washes out with shampoo."

"It does," Mary said. "But then yesterday Joan decided to try it herself. Only she didn't use hair chalk because we don't have any hair chalk."

"What'd she use?" Catherine asked. "Sidewalk chalk?"

"Oh no, that probably would have come out fine," Mary said. "No, she used lip gloss."

"Lip gloss?" Elizabeth said, eyes widening.

Mary nodded, rubbing the bridge of her nose wearily. "We've washed her hair twice but it still looks greasy."

"Lip gloss," Steve stated.

Catherine, Ang, and Elizabeth started laughing.

"Oh yes," Mary said. "She came out of the bathroom with chunks of it in her hair."

"Chunks?" Steve asked, eyes widening.

"What color?" Catherine asked.

"Blue," Mary replied.

"I thought it was toothpaste," Aaron said. "I asked her why she put our toothpaste in her hair."

"Oh my," Ang said, still chuckling. "It's going to be fun teasing her about that when she's older."

"It is," Mary agreed. "But in the meantime, she's got greasy hair."

"Try Dawn dishsoap," Catherine said, looking at her phone screen.

"Dawn?"

"That's what a bunch of parents on this forum have used for … similar experiments."

"So she's not the first kid to put lip gloss in her hair?"

"Oh, not by a longshot."

"We've got Dawn," Elizabeth said.

"Hey, peanut, guess what?" Mary said. "You're getting another bath tonight. Aunt Elizabeth has a special shampoo for you to use."

"What colo' is it?" Joan asked.

"Because that's the most important thing," Mary quipped.

"Blue," Elizabeth told Joan.

"I don't want a blue shampoo," Joan said.

"Well, tough luck, kid, you're getting it. You didn't seem to have a problem with blue when you were putting lip gloss in your hair."

Joan grinned at her.

Mary sighed, shaking her head and chuckling. "Yep, definitely gonna be teasing you about this when you're older. I'm thinking senior prom for sure. And graduations. Wedding day …"

"Stop, stop, I beg you," Aaron said, wincing at the thought of Joan grown up.

"Where's Baby Angie's Santa hat?" Joan asked suddenly.

"Oh, it's at home," Catherine said. "Remember, she doesn't really like to wear it."

"I want to use it for the hat game," Joan said.

"The hat game?" Joseph asked.

"Something Uncle Paul made up on Christmas Day," Mary said.

"You close you' eyes, Unca Joseph, and you count," Joan started to explain. "And I hide the hat and you find it! Then if you find it, you can hide it!"

"Well, that sounds like a great game," Joseph said. "Maybe we can ask Aunt Catherine and Uncle Steve to pack Angie's Santa hat when she comes to stay with us on Friday."

Joan gasped. "Baby Angie is staying here?" she asked. "With me?"

Catherine smiled. "She sure is. She's going to have a sleepover with you."

"A sleepovew! Mama! Baby Angie is sleeping here!"

"Won't that be fun?" Mary said. "So don't you want to have your blue shampoo bath now so you're all clean for the sleepover on Friday?"

"Yes!" Joan cried, jumping up.

"Good," said Steve, taking the opportunity to tickle one of her armpits while her arms were raised and causing her to shriek with laughter. "And while you're doing that, I'm gonna check your suitcase."

"My suitcase?" Joan said, still laughing, now covering her armpits while simultaneously moving closer so he could tickle her again.

"To make sure you didn't sneak any lip gloss with you." He grinned. "We don't want Baby Angie to end up with any in her hair when she sleeps over, now do we?"

Hope you enjoyed!

Stay tuned for the sleepover later in the marathon!

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