Disclaimer: Fushigi Yugi ain't mine. 'nuff said.

This Fic is dedicated to Xellas, for corrupting me into reading (and simulateously getting me addicted to) Tas/Chi fics.




………..Descending Dementia…………

Or; Tasuki and Chichiri Vs. The Spiteful Forest



::grumble grumble::

"Goddamn it, can't ya just wave yer hat thingie around, and do that 'poof' thing yer always doin'?"

"No, Tasuki-kun," Chichiri replies patiently, "I already explained to you that I need to know where our current location is in order to teleport, no da."

"But ya know where we are. We're three days inta this here crummy woods." Tasuki whines, "Ain't that good enough?!"

"No, no da." Chichiri says, not quite as patiently as before, "I'm not even sure how we got into this woods. It's not a normal forest, no da."

"How d'ya reckon that?"

"Listen. What do you hear, no da?"

"Uh. Nothin'." Tasuki states cautiously.

"Exactly. No birds." Chichiri explains, "Nothing lives here no da."

"That explains why I'm so friggin' hungry." Grumbles Tasuki.

"I'm hungry too. But there's not much we can do about that right now no da. The stream has no fish in it. And we haven't seen a single animal, no da."

"Can'tcha pull a rabbit outta yer hat 'er somethin'?" Tasuki asks hopefully.

"Afraid not, no da."

"How bout sake? Could ya apparate up some sake fer me?"

"No. I. Can't. 'Apparate'. Up. Some. Sake. Tasuki. Kun. No. Da." Chichiri replies through gritted teeth.

~~ Five minutes of blissful silence~~

"Chichiri?"

"Yes, Tasuki-kun?"

"Are you sure you can't pull a rabbit 'er somethin' outta yer hat? How bout outta yer kesa?"

Chichiri closes his eyes and counts to ten. When he finally manages to repress his newly discovered homicidal urges, he turns around and hands Tasuki a meat bun.

"All right!!!" Tasuki yells with glee, grabbing the meat bun and swallowing it nearly whole. "Yer the best, Chichiri!"

"Hey, wait a minute," Tasuki adds, after thinking a minute, "if ya had food all along, why'd ya wait until now ta say so?"

"Because I didn't, no da." Chichiri states, smugly.

"Whaddaya mean by that?" Tasuki asks, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"That was just a stick no da. I merely transformed it so it would look and taste like a meat bun. But it was still just a stick, no da."

Tasuki's reaction to this newly gleaned knowledge is not quite appropriate for print. Use yer imagination, folks.

"Bark is more nutritious then you'd think, Tasuki-kun. High in fiber, no da."

"Shut the fuck up. Sometimes I think ya must getta kick outta watchin' me suffer." Tasuki mutters.

Hm, I wonder the same thing about you, no da. Chichiri muses to himself, before saying out loud, "I'm working on finding a way out of here, Tasuki-kun. Please try to be patient, no da."

"PATIENT?!" Tasuki loses it. "Three days ago, I was 'patient'! I just ate a fuckin' stick! And yer tellin' me ta be patient?!!"

Chichiri tries to stay calm. He really does.

"Three days ago? If 'patient' is another word for 'moderately less irritating,' then yes, I suppose you were 'patient' no da."

Whoops. That just slipped out….

"Fine! I can see it's obviously MY fault we're in this mess, and ya'd be SO much better off without me then!" Tasuki yells. "Go on, I'll just stay here by my irritatin' self!"

Tasuki stomps off several yards and then sits down on a rock with his back to Chichiri.

Chichiri closes his eyes and counts to ten. Then he recites the alphabet backwards….followed by every tranquility meditation he could remember. Ten minutes later, he finally composes himself enough and turns around to apologize to Tasuki.

But Tasuki was gone.

The beech grove that had surrounded his rock had somehow transformed into a stand of hemlock trees.

"Oh crap, no da."



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Um, so how was that for a start? This first chapter is short, because I'm more or less testing the water with it. This is my first FY story, everything else I ever wrote was Weiß Kreuz, so this is very different from what I'm used to writing. Please tell me if there is anything I should do to improve writing either Tasuki or Chichiri (did Chi say 'no da' too many times? Did I write Tasuki's bandit speech okay?) The chapters will hopefully get longer as I adjust to writing these guys.

I know both Tas and Chi were angrier than normal for their characters, but that was only because of how stressful their current condition was. They were only acting like they hated each other because of how tired and hungry they were. Things will get much, much better between them *heh heh*



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