Title: Revenge of the Toga Night
Author: Pinkcat 4569
Rating: T
Spoilers: not really
Description: Jess made a mistake with toga night. Togas are not Greek, now the perfectionist is in a tizzy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Primeval or the characters. This is for fun.
Author's Note: This was in response to learning I got the toga wrong, it is not Greek, it is Roman. Then I learned women didn't wear togas, and some of the food was wrong, and I just had a fit, not really. Anyway, this was a silly, fun little thing that reminded me to just get a grip and enjoy writing for fun.
Revenge of the Toga Night
"What do you mean we got it wrong?" asked Lester.
"Togas are not Greek, they are Roman. In Greece they wore chitons, and they were quite different. Where as a toga might reveal one arm and a partial chest, at least nowadays, I don't really know if they wore anything under them in the old days, I wasn't there after all, a chiton covered everything, at least for women," rambled Jess.
"Miss Parker," said Lester impatiently.
"Ok, yes. Sorry. The early chitons were called doric, and was basically one large piece of cloth, length was height of the wearer plus 12 inches, according to several websites, it was wrapped around the body and pinned. They didn't cut the cloth because cloth was so expensive. The doric chitons were wool.
"Miss Parker,"
"Hold on Lester, please. The doric chitons evolved into the ionic chitons, which were two pieces, one which wrapped around the lower body, and the second which went on the top and created sleeves. The material for the ionic chitons was linen. The pins used could show the status of the wearer, a fancier brooch meant more money."
Lester cleared his throat. "Really, Miss Park..."
"Just a minute, Lester," said Jess. "Women wore chitons long, floor length, and men wore a shorter version, which is kind of funny, almost opposite to today, not that we wear chitons anymore, but that now it seems more appropriate for a woman to show some leg more than a man. Pity. Anyway, sometimes men did wear them long too. For a while historians thought chitons were white only, but now they think chitons for women could be red, pruple, green, blue, or yellow. The men, they think stuck to beige or white. Blegh, poor guys."
"Miss Parker!"
"Yes, Lester?"
"Thank you for the tedious history lesson on the fashion of the Greek people, but why in the hell are you telling me this?"
"We served Greek food while wearing the historic garments of the Roman people. It was wrong."
"Are the fashion gods going to strike us down with a thunder bolt?" asked Lester sarcastically. "Lord forbid that we got it wrong. Who bloody cares?"
"I do," said Jess.
Becker grinned. "You know that Jess is a perfectionist, Lester. This one error is killing her, have some sympathy."
"Guys, I hate to say it, but togas instead of hiltons..."
"Chitons, Connor," corrected Jess.
"Right, than k you, Jess. I just think that wearing a Roman toga to a Greek party was the least of our glowing errors. Your toga was a mini, and I wore a toga made of a Star Wars sheet." asked Connor, with a wink.
"That was not my fault. That was poor planning and laziness on the part of the employees, like you, Connor."
"What do you want me to do about it Miss Parker?"
Jess looked at Lester and smiled.
"Oh, another Greece night? More ouzo, hmmn..."
"Bad idea, sir," said Becker.
"You pipe down," said Jess. Becker raised his eyebrow and looked at Connor who chuckled.
"What did I do?" Becker whispered. Connor shook his head.
"Actually, Bernie isn't too happy about re-doing Greek night, something about not remembering anything, and how ouzo is a curse from the canteen gods, but he did show some interest in Rome night."
"Rome?" asked Lester.
"Spaghetti! Pizza! Ravioli! Lasagna!" cried Connor.
"The wines," said Lester, in an awed voice.
"The only drawback is we'd have to do togas again," said Jess. "How boring."
Becker shook his head. "We don't have to go crazy, Jess. The canteen serves spaghetti and pizza all the time."
"You are no fun," said Jess.
Becker smirked. "If you're so worried about 'accuracy' and avoiding boredom, just have half the diners wear Greek and the other half wear Roman, and the Romans can conquer them," he said, laughing.
Lester, Connor and Jess were not laughing. They looked at each other, their mouths dropped open and they all screamed, "Brilliant!"
"Bernie is researching Roman cuisine, all the way back to ancient times, and I have been to several sites and even read some books on ancient Roman and Greek apparel, Jess said.
Jess was sitting at the ADD, and doing actual ARC related stuff. Becker sat nearby.
"I don't understand why you're going to all this trouble," said Becker. "We aren't doing a reenactment, you know. We're just having...fun?"
"Stop it," said Jess. "Don't even pretend that you don't enjoy it, because I know you do."
Becker smirked at her. "I just don't get why you're so upset. So, we wore togas at a Greek party, big deal. For the Indian night, you wore a short sari, which took some liberties."
"I know," said Jess. "I planned that. I didn't plan to get a major cultural component, clothing, wrong. Anyway, I am just researching. I love research, and research, my dear soldier, never goes to far." Jess grinned at Becker. " I might take liberties with the chiton, like shorten it. I don't know. Bernie will probably take liberties with the food. He isn't going to make ancient Roman food, you know. He just wants to get a feel for the cuisine, where its been, where it is, and where its going."
"Cuisine moves?"
"Shut up Becker."
Becker smiled. "So, you're wearing a chiton?"
"Yep."
"So you're going to be Greek, then?" asked Becker.
"Yep."
Becker smirked. "Then I definitely want to be a Roman." Jess kept her eyes on her screens, not catching on to what he was getting at. He pressed closer to her, and whispered. "That means I get to conquer. You."
Jess' eyes grew wide. She blushed, and her fingers trembled. "What...", she began to say, then cleared her throat. "What did you say?"
Becker grinned. "You heard me, Jessica."
Jess sat there, feeling hot. She was speechless.
"Well, I'm off," said Becker. "I think I'll do some research myself. Maybe I'll dress like a Roman centurion."
Becker strode out of the control room, and Jess watched him go, fanning herself.
"Bring on the Romans," she muttered.
"This is all getting a bit silly," said Lester. "Japanese Night was fine, no one went overboard, excluding the sake, obviously. You wore a kimono, but there was no fuss. If we did Japan now, Becker would want to be a Samurai, Anderson would be a Ninja, and good heavens, Miss Parker, you'd want to dress as a Geisha."
"You know," said Jess. "Geishas are misunderstood. They were highly cultured, musically trained, sensitive ladies."
"Who dabbled in a little horizontal mo-jo."
Jess rolled her eyes. "Would you relax? This is supposed to be fun."
"I just don't want you people getting carried away. For heaven's sake, make sure Becker's not carrying a real sword."
"I will," she said. Jess was in Lester's office watching the specialty tailor do his work. "You don't want anyone getting carried away?" she asked him, eying the ensemble the tailor was making.
"No," said Lester. "I do not."
Jess stifled a giggle. "Then maybe you should rethink your outfit choice, Caesar."
Lester stood, wearing the elaborately wrapped toga of an ancient Roman emperor. The toga was made of fine silk, which Jess wasn't sure they used, but why start Lester off on something else, she thought. On his head was a gold, roman crown.
"I can't decide who I am," he said. "I am great, so I could be Julius. I would like, at times, to set fire to this infernal place, so I could be Nero."
"You're insane," added Jess, "so you could be Caligula."
"Watch it Parker."
"Are you planning on making your horse a senator?" she asked.
"I don't have a horse, Jess. However, 'His Honor the mammoth,' has a ring to it."
Jess shook her head. "We're all bloody mad," she said.
"Indeed, Parker, indeed."
End? Don't know yet, sorry. May make an adult chapter of the conquering.