I hate myself. One minute you're reading Wonderella's Twitter and thinking, haha, yeah, those losers are just swimming in sexual tension. Then you're searching for lighthearted fics to that effect and not finding any, but stumbling upon the SIT! doujin. I don't even now what bara IS, no one does! I never asked for this. I never asked for this.

-Cro

"Superman!"

Without even looking, Superman grabbed the hostile android Wonder Woman threw at him and smashed it into the ground. Surrounding him and Diana, and quickly advancing, was an army of black and silver automatons with guns firing so mercilessly and so blindly that some in the back blew off the heads of some directly ahead of them. Though Dr. Light hadn't seemed to put a lot of time into the robots themselves, his machine printed them as quickly as the Justice League disposed of them

"This is getting us nowhere!" Wonder Woman shouted over her shoulder as she deflected bullets with her bracers. "Where's that sonar?"

"Batman, where's air support?"

Over the team com came Batman's crackling voice. "I was just about to ask you the same thing. I've got hostiles on my six."

"Go!" the Amazon barked as she knocked the cheap heads off six androids with another's leg in one swing, and without a second of hesitation Superman leapt into the air and smashed through two flying androids tailing the Batplane, ripping the heads off the other two without blinking. Far down below, a streak of red blazed through Dr. Light's robot army, leaving a trail of vaguely electrical looking parts, and green blocks filled in artificial wormholes as fast as they ripped through the air.

Superman knocked on Batman's window. "Now's good," he yelled, into the team com. Hawk Girl smashed an android right before it flew into the Batplane's path.

"Not yet!" Batman yelled back.

"Batman," Flash cried through the com, "What the ding dang DARN is taking so long?"

"I need a clear line," Batman said through gritted teeth. "These androids are automatomic, taking out Light won't stop them from hurting civilians! I need a straight line through them to the computer!"

Superman nodded. "Flash, we're at your ei-sev-twel-FLASH!"

"I found a shiny!"

"Flash, we're above the park! We're making a column of androids for Batman to blow through, take the left!"

The red streak flew to the outlying robots, herding them inward and Superman followed suit at the right.

Soon, the androids stood in a column twenty feet wide straight from the Batplane to Dr. Light's and his computers.

"On my mark!" Batman shouted.

"Ready, Bats!" Flash yelled gleefully as he dodged a barrage of bullets and dismantled the offender's wrist gun faster than anyone but Superman could see.

"Three! Two!"

Soft green earmuffs covered the Justice League's heads as Superman and Flash leapt out of the way of the screeching sonic attack from the Batplane, cracking right through the androids and exploding Light's computers and his printer.

When the noise died down and Hal dissolved the earmuffs with a snap of his fingers, Dr. Arthur Light was lying unconscious in a bed of electrical parts on the steps of City Hall. Every window in the building had burst, but Aqua Man had evacuated everyone and the building was still standing, so the Mayor couldn't be too upset.

Superman turned on his team speak. "Roll call. S."

"W!"

"H."

"F!"

"G!"

"B."

"I'm at the Watch Tower, awaiting your return."

"And there's J'onn. Lantern, did you find Aqua Man in any of the wormholes?"

He flew out of thin air as the last wormhole closed, almost on his foot. "Got him!" Hal cried, indicating the dust-covered blond man he was carrying.

Aqua Man coughed a handful of sand. "I am sick of that universe!" he wheezed. Hal set him down gently.

"Well, hopefully you won't ever have to visit again," Wonder Woman said, patting Aqua Man on the shoulder. "All that's missing is the handcuffs."

On cue, a legion of squad cars rolled up, with the police chief at the head.

"Wow," she exclaimed as she jumped out of the car. "Justice League, I don't know how to thank you!"

As Wonder Woman happily gave Chief Willard the "Just doing our job" spiel, Superman made his way to the landing Batplane.

"Great job up there," he grinned. "You prevented a lot of civilian casualties. Come on, let's let Detroit thank you."

"Flash seems to have it covered." To Wonder Woman's protests, and attempts to put him in a headlock, Flash was bouncing around Chief Willard, asking for gratitude in the form of chocolate and monuments and getting to meet Stevie Wonder.

"You like Stevie Wonder?" Hawk Girl asked a little bewildered.

"Oh, Hawk Girl!" he grinned, "Are you a…" he looked between Wonder Woman and Hawk Girl eagerly, "a Wonder Woman?"

Cries of horror erupted from the gathered League and Flash cackled with glee at the stupid, stupid joke.

"Ha," Superman grinned. "I guess so!"

Batman grunted in assent.

They stood in silence together for a few minutes. Superman was about to pull Batman into the ruckus with the laughing police officers, but as he reached for his arm, Batman cleared his throat.

"What are you doing tonight, Clark?"

Superman looked around to make sure no one had heard his name. He knew Batman wouldn't be that careless, but it was a habit.

"Tonight? You mean after the debriefing?"

"I mean instead of the debriefing," Batman muttered. "Five is enough to tell J'onn what he already knows, don't you think?"

"But who will do the paperwork?"

"Diana will make Flash do it," Batman said. "And she'll stand over his shoulder the whole time to make sure he isn't just doodling cats again."

"You think?"

They watched Wonder Woman finally grab hold of Flash's ear and caught the bottle of champagne he dropped.

"I know," Batman smirked.

"Where did he even find champagne?"

"Clark."

Superman looked back to Batman. "Yeah?"

"Let's do it tonight."

Clark blushed furiously. "R…really? Are you sure?"

It had been two weeks since Clark had found Bruce, wounded and alone, in his mansion, Alfred having gone on vacation. For four days, Clark had stayed in the guest room, attending to Bruce's every need and whim. Clark had a feeling Bruce was enjoying using him, as he had a hard time imagining Bruce ordering Alfred to polish his tailpipe or lay his pipes. But he'd still enjoyed himself immensely, just knowing that Bruce Wayne was in the next room, and listening to his breathing get stronger and stronger as his ribs began to knit back together. But most of all, he loved knowing, as Bruce had made crystal clear, that he was a courtship away from holding him, touching him, kissing him passionately and never having to let him go. But life had gotten in the way these intervening weeks, and Clark hadn't been about to take Bruce on their first date.

"Are you busy?"

He was. "No, of course not!" Clark said too loudly. He caught it, cleared his throat and repeated at a human volume, "No, of course not."

"Good," said Batman, and Superman thought he heard a huff of relief, as if he'd been holding his breath. "I'll leave now, I never go to the debriefings. You head out with the team, but halfway to the Watch Tower, say you've got to take care of some business you forgot about, subtly hinting that it has something to do with your day job. That'll keep them from getting suspicious."

Bruce had put a lot of thought into this. "I'll have to run home first," Clark said. "Make sure you're wearing something that can get dirty!"

Batman shook his head. "No need for that. I've made reservations at Jean-Georges."

"That…that posh French restaurant you bought in New York?"

"The same."

Oh. "That sounds…" Stuffy. Annoying. Stiff. Uncomfortable. "…great!"

Bruce watched Clark carefully. "Pick me up at seven."

A date with Bruce Wayne. A date with Bruce! Superman shook his head lightly with a smile. "Six thirty it is." Bruce hated when Clark showed up anywhere late, let alone to their first date.

"I'll see you then," Batman said flatly, climbing back into the Batplane and taking off.

"Hey, SUPES!" Clark turned around to see Flash beckoning him over to the rest of the team. "Settle something for us!"

As Superman made his way to the team, it felt like he was walking on air; and looking down, he realized he was.