Elizabeth/ Jack

Author's Notes: Hey, there are TWO of us writing these little parodies. Just in case you have not picked up on this yet, it is not meant to be serious. At all. It is just a little parody with strange pairings (not this one, it gets GOOD or should I say, BAD?) and very bad, clichéd writing. So, enjoy the short, normal preview of what is to come!

Chapter One

The Curious Relationship of Elizabeth Swann and Captain Jack Sparrow

Elizabeth entered her explicably dull cabin completely alone. She had just broken it off with Will and she felt incredibly remorseful. He had cried, as expected, before running away. Typical Will behavior, Elizabeth had thought angrily on the way back to her quarters.

But he was not the only one who was hurting, he had been her first love and they had shared childhood together. They had always been somewhat flirtatious as children, but it had become something bigger then either of them had suspected. While the change had been good for Will, it had hurt Elizabeth more than anyone could imagine. For Elizabeth, the closet romantic, there was nothing worse then being with someone you do not love. Elizabeth shook her dainty head violently, as if to ward away any more unwanted thoughts of Will.

She sank into a rather uncomfortable, ratty, blue chair and rested her head in her hands. How had things gotten so out of her control? She had meant for the break to be clean and somewhat painless, but her plan had gone awry and she ended up massacring Will's feelings and his heart.

"So much for 'we can still be friends'", Elizabeth muttered darkly to herself.

An indefinite knock at the door roused Elizabeth from her musings. She glanced curiously at the door for a moment, before getting up, and walking to the door.

"Who is it?" she whispered, hoping with all her heart that it was not Will come to win her back.

"Hey luv, it's Jack," called Jack somewhat loudly from the other side of the door.

He was drunk, obviously. But that was not too unusual for Jack. Elizabeth paused for a moment, considering, before opening the door. Jack was leaning ever so casually against the doorframe.

"So, you really got young Mr. Turner worked up, ya got any particular reason for givin' him the old heave ho?"

Elizabeth thought quickly, "Well, I suppose it just wasn't working out for us."

Jack smiled and nodded, she knew it did not buy a word of it.

"Um, would you like to come in?"

"No, no we wouldn't want to give Turner any ideas now, would we?"

Elizabeth laughed a bit before leaning against the wall of her room.

"I do suppose Will would become suddenly suspicious, that would be just like him," she commented, sighing loudly.

"So, my luv-y dove-y, tell me the truth about why you broke it off with Mister Tuner. It wasn't working will not be an acceptable answer."

Elizabeth's heart fluttered like a little blue butterfly in her chest. She knew she was in dangerous waters here because the reason she broke it off with Will was standing, or rather leaning, and right in front of her.

"Well, I just don't think Will had the same…charisma I am searching for," she tried; she knew it was rather bold suggesting so much.

Elizabeth intently studied Jack's face—looking for any signs that he had picked up her drift, but his face remained unusually inexpressive. Elizabeth watched in breathlessness as one of Jack's eyes roamed on its own, a trait Elizabeth admired most in Jack. When he was drunk he had a sort of lazy eye.

"Jack…," Elizabeth trailed off not knowing what she was going to say.

Jack looked her right in her large, beautiful eyes…well one of his eyes looked at her alarmingly large eyes... and her little, maiden heart sped up.

"I know, luv, I know," he said, walked into the room, and kissed her.

Elizabeth sighed in happiness; this was what she had been waiting for! After all, their last names were both birds! That could not be a coincidence. Also, she had always wanted a drunken pirate, with strange hair, bad breath, and bad hygiene to fall in love with her. Elizabeth Swann was perfectly content, even as in the midst of their romantic kiss Jack passed out from alcohol consumption. But, Elizabeth, being the good sport that she is, just laughed it off and dragged Jack outside her door. Things were definitely looking up.

Outside, from behind a notoriously (look for this in future chapters!) placed lemon box Will watched. He immediately saw the love in Elizabeth's deer-in-the-headlights-like eyes and his very soul burned with passionate anger. He would have revenge on Jack Sparrow for stealing his woman!

As Elizabeth shut the door with a happy smile, leaving Jack passed out right outside her door, Will immediately jumped into action. Unfortunately in the process of jumping, Will hit his head on a conveniently placed lantern and passed out. He fell to the floor behind the lemon box with a ginormous bump on his head. A bump that would never fade. A bump…of revenge.

Woo-hoo! More fun filled chapters to come, with a lot more crazy pairings. (Not that we have anything against Jack and Elizabeth) But like…CRAZY pairings.

Okies, enough rambling!