***disclaimer: I do not own Friends or any of the characters in this story. Any songs used in this story are given credit at the bottom of this page. ***
``Return of the Richard``
~~~~~~Chapter One: TOW the News and The Person~~~~~~
~In Monica and Chandler's apartment~
"Knock, knock. Mon, you in there? You okay?" asked Chandler. His wife, Monica, had suddenly gotten out bed and rushed to the bathroom.
"Yeah, honey, I'm fine. I'm so fine, that if vomiting was an Olympic sport, I'd be the gold medalist" Monica replied sarcastically.
"Um, well, it's good to see some of my sarcasm has rubbed off on you. Seriously though Monica, are you okay?" Monica opened the door.
"Um, honey, you look a little green."
"Fine then, Mr. Bing. If you want green, you'll get green. Go unclog the toilet" Monica commanded as she pushed past her husband.
"Damn PMS" Chandler said under his breath.
"I heard that!"
"Sorry"
"Yeah, yeah,-" Monica started before she passed out. Chandler ran over to her.
"Yeah, um, we're gonna need to get you to a doctor."
~The Doctor's Office~
"Well, Mrs. Bing, the test results are back."
"And?"
"Congratulations, you're pregnant. Roughly, a little bit more than five months, so it should begin to show any day now. I'll give you two a minute" the doctor said before leaving the room.
"Oh my God, we're going to be parents!" exclaimed Monica.
"Yeah I know, I can hardly believe it either. Damn, it seems like just yesterday we got married."
"I know. Well this is getting weird. First Rachel and Ross had a kid together, then they got engaged. We got married, and now we're having a kid. Do you think the same will happen for Joey and Phoebe?"
"Nah, I dunno. I mean, they're not even together." replied Chandler. He and Monica turned to look at each other. Their eyes got big.
"Or are they?......"
~Ross and Rachel's Apartment~
"Hannah, come here sweetie" cooed Rachel to her five month old daughter. Hannah was a cute little girl who looked and acted exactly like her mother. In fact, one time, she screamed for ten minutes when Ross tried to put yellow shoes on her while she was wearing a green jumper. Hannah crawled to her mother and gurgled.
"Oh my, that's terrible!" cried Rachel.
"What is?" asked a confused Ross who had just walked into the room.
"Nothing, honey. I'm just playing with Hannah."
"You soon ready to go to Mon's?"
"Ross, we've been waiting half an hour. Hannah, are you ready to go visit Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler?" said Rachel as she scooped up Hannah and put her in her baby carrier.
~Monica and Chandler's Apartment~
"Oh by the way guys, Rachel and Ross just got off the elevator with the baby. They should be here in a second" predicted Phoebe, the group's resident psychic.
"Um, Phoebe, I hate to doubt you, but I just saw Ross in their apartment" replied Monica.
"Oh. Dammit. Why does your apartment have to look at theirs?!" complained Phoebe.
"Greetings, all" called Ross as he walked in the door with Rachel and Hannah in tow.
"HA!! I told you! In your face!!"
"Um, Phoebe, can you calm down please? Hannah just fell asleep when we were in the elevator. And can you please explain to Ross and me what that was all about?"
"Um, sure, sorry, and sure. My psychic powers told me you two were about to get here. Monica and Chandler said "Nooooo, Phoebe, I just saw Ross down there" . Well they can go to-"
"Phoebe! Did you forget what we told you about swearing? No swearing around the......?"
"Pregnant woman" Phoebe said quickly.
"What pregnant woman?! Phoebe, who's the father???"
"What?! I'm not pregnant! Now MONICA is a different story!"
"WHAT??!?! HOW'D YOU KNOW?!"
"My psychic powers" grinned Phoebe.
"WHAT?! CHANDLER MURIEL BING, YOU KNOCKED UP MY BABY SISTER?!? I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!" yelled Ross as he lunged at Chandler who gave a yelp and half jumped, half tripped over the sofa.
"Ross! Calm down, my gosh! They're married, for gosh sakes!" cried Rachel.
"Um, guys, stop it. You know you really ought to-oh my God!"
"What, Mon?" asked Chandler.
"Are you tired of this loser? Can I kill him, Monica?" whined Ross.
"Guys, calm down. Remember, the one thing we learned with Rachel when she was pregnant is never upset a pregnant woman."
"HEY!!! Joseph Tribbiani!!" yelled Rachel.
"Uh guys, shut up and get over here. Ross, Rachel, there's someone in your apartment! That's the guy I thought was you, Ross."
"Huh? What? What guy?"
"Phoebe, remember when I said I saw Ross in their apartment and then he and Rachel came in here and you yelled 'Ha, I told you! In your face!' ?"
"Um, let me see....yeah, um, vaguely."
"Phoebe, be serious!"
"Oh that's right, I'm sorry I upset you, pregnant woman."
"PHOEBE!!"
"Alright, alright! Yes, I remember that."
"Well apparently it wasn't Ross! It was a burglar! You guys might want to get over here to see this!"
"We're coming, we're coming!"
"Oh my God! Is that who I think it is?!" The group stared in shock at the person standing in Ross and Rachel's apartment.
``Return of the Richard``
~~~~~~Chapter One: TOW the News and The Person~~~~~~
~In Monica and Chandler's apartment~
"Knock, knock. Mon, you in there? You okay?" asked Chandler. His wife, Monica, had suddenly gotten out bed and rushed to the bathroom.
"Yeah, honey, I'm fine. I'm so fine, that if vomiting was an Olympic sport, I'd be the gold medalist" Monica replied sarcastically.
"Um, well, it's good to see some of my sarcasm has rubbed off on you. Seriously though Monica, are you okay?" Monica opened the door.
"Um, honey, you look a little green."
"Fine then, Mr. Bing. If you want green, you'll get green. Go unclog the toilet" Monica commanded as she pushed past her husband.
"Damn PMS" Chandler said under his breath.
"I heard that!"
"Sorry"
"Yeah, yeah,-" Monica started before she passed out. Chandler ran over to her.
"Yeah, um, we're gonna need to get you to a doctor."
~The Doctor's Office~
"Well, Mrs. Bing, the test results are back."
"And?"
"Congratulations, you're pregnant. Roughly, a little bit more than five months, so it should begin to show any day now. I'll give you two a minute" the doctor said before leaving the room.
"Oh my God, we're going to be parents!" exclaimed Monica.
"Yeah I know, I can hardly believe it either. Damn, it seems like just yesterday we got married."
"I know. Well this is getting weird. First Rachel and Ross had a kid together, then they got engaged. We got married, and now we're having a kid. Do you think the same will happen for Joey and Phoebe?"
"Nah, I dunno. I mean, they're not even together." replied Chandler. He and Monica turned to look at each other. Their eyes got big.
"Or are they?......"
~Ross and Rachel's Apartment~
"Hannah, come here sweetie" cooed Rachel to her five month old daughter. Hannah was a cute little girl who looked and acted exactly like her mother. In fact, one time, she screamed for ten minutes when Ross tried to put yellow shoes on her while she was wearing a green jumper. Hannah crawled to her mother and gurgled.
"Oh my, that's terrible!" cried Rachel.
"What is?" asked a confused Ross who had just walked into the room.
"Nothing, honey. I'm just playing with Hannah."
"You soon ready to go to Mon's?"
"Ross, we've been waiting half an hour. Hannah, are you ready to go visit Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler?" said Rachel as she scooped up Hannah and put her in her baby carrier.
~Monica and Chandler's Apartment~
"Oh by the way guys, Rachel and Ross just got off the elevator with the baby. They should be here in a second" predicted Phoebe, the group's resident psychic.
"Um, Phoebe, I hate to doubt you, but I just saw Ross in their apartment" replied Monica.
"Oh. Dammit. Why does your apartment have to look at theirs?!" complained Phoebe.
"Greetings, all" called Ross as he walked in the door with Rachel and Hannah in tow.
"HA!! I told you! In your face!!"
"Um, Phoebe, can you calm down please? Hannah just fell asleep when we were in the elevator. And can you please explain to Ross and me what that was all about?"
"Um, sure, sorry, and sure. My psychic powers told me you two were about to get here. Monica and Chandler said "Nooooo, Phoebe, I just saw Ross down there" . Well they can go to-"
"Phoebe! Did you forget what we told you about swearing? No swearing around the......?"
"Pregnant woman" Phoebe said quickly.
"What pregnant woman?! Phoebe, who's the father???"
"What?! I'm not pregnant! Now MONICA is a different story!"
"WHAT??!?! HOW'D YOU KNOW?!"
"My psychic powers" grinned Phoebe.
"WHAT?! CHANDLER MURIEL BING, YOU KNOCKED UP MY BABY SISTER?!? I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!" yelled Ross as he lunged at Chandler who gave a yelp and half jumped, half tripped over the sofa.
"Ross! Calm down, my gosh! They're married, for gosh sakes!" cried Rachel.
"Um, guys, stop it. You know you really ought to-oh my God!"
"What, Mon?" asked Chandler.
"Are you tired of this loser? Can I kill him, Monica?" whined Ross.
"Guys, calm down. Remember, the one thing we learned with Rachel when she was pregnant is never upset a pregnant woman."
"HEY!!! Joseph Tribbiani!!" yelled Rachel.
"Uh guys, shut up and get over here. Ross, Rachel, there's someone in your apartment! That's the guy I thought was you, Ross."
"Huh? What? What guy?"
"Phoebe, remember when I said I saw Ross in their apartment and then he and Rachel came in here and you yelled 'Ha, I told you! In your face!' ?"
"Um, let me see....yeah, um, vaguely."
"Phoebe, be serious!"
"Oh that's right, I'm sorry I upset you, pregnant woman."
"PHOEBE!!"
"Alright, alright! Yes, I remember that."
"Well apparently it wasn't Ross! It was a burglar! You guys might want to get over here to see this!"
"We're coming, we're coming!"
"Oh my God! Is that who I think it is?!" The group stared in shock at the person standing in Ross and Rachel's apartment.