It's Too Late
By Allie-Dee
The follow up to You've Got E-Mail
"It's too late."
Too late?
My heart was crushed when I heard those words.
Too late? Too late for what? Too late for...us?
I've waited my whole moment, to get myself prepared, to get myself pumped, to tell Lily the feelings I was hiding inside, and then when I do...I blow it. God. I am such an idiot.
It just can't be too late.
But no, she's shaking her head, her mascara is smearing, I see tears in her eyes. And I know...it's over. Even though, we never had a chance to have something to make it "over" between us.
Friends. Of course. Just friends.
I have to see her smile, everyday, act like nothing's wrong with me, see her smile, and feel the pang in my head but no. We're just friends. Just friends. It's way too late to become something more than "just friends".
But it can't be.
No. It just can't. I can't let her go. But she's walking away, mutters something to Travis, and she's walking away.
And the pain is coming down. Travis pep talks me...calling me a "quitter". I decide to go through with it, but I know it's too late. I can't see her, but in my mind, I see her crying, while I'm speaking.
I feel horrible; I feel like...I don't deserve to be her friend.
But I am. We're friends now and always will be, but nothing more. I see her at Mickey's. I brag about all the girls I've talked to.
They don't mean anything to me, of course. They aren't Lily. I'm just, trying to show her I'm fine. I'm not, but I don't want her to feel sad.
She looks kind of guilty. Well, yeah, I mean she broke my heart. She probably feels like a jerk. She isn't of course. She's an angel. She's the light at the end of the tunnel.
Well, not anymore. She's just clicked that light off tonight. I mean, I should've known.
Me and Lily? Girls like her go for guys that aren't like me...me? I'm nothing to her. Just a longtime childhood friend. Yup, that's me. Jesus..
Lily's right.
It is too late.
Like, hi y'all. Great episode, fantastic, I might say. But the saddness of the two. I THOUGHT IT WOULD FINALLY BE RILY. No, of course not. The writers just have to make me bite my fingernails and toenails to find out, that nothing happens.
Jesus Christ. (sorry God)
Ah, well, Part 2 of 2 is coming up. Yay!
Allie