Once upon a time I had a great idea for a romancey Zelda one-shot. Then it morphed. What you are about to read

is neither a romance, nor a one-shot, but rather a highly blown out comedy, or, I hope it'll amuse you, along with a

very feminist message. SO! If you are not particularly into feminism, stupid comedy, or a bit of out-of-

characterness, then GO! NOW! HIT THE FRIGGIN' BACK BUTTON FOR GOODNESS SAKES! With that

out of my system, I will now disclaim with a vengeance: I do not own Zelda: The Windwaker! Har!

Dedication: To Roni! Appreciate!

Woman With A Mission

It was all Links' fault. Nope, Medli did not feel a single bit guilty about it, because it was ALL LINK'S FAULT! What could possibly be his fault? Link, the rising hero, the wielder of the Master Sword (though its full potential had not been released yet), the saver of countless lives, the finder of the Goddesses' Pearls, what could someone like that have possibly done? Oh, he had done plenty all right. The mess was all his doing! This catastrophe! This calamity! This total and complete chaos was all his doing! So…what had he done?

"Link!" Medli's high-pitched voice that could only come out through extreme irritation, called down to him where he was casually hanging by the last threads of his tunic from a hook-shot pole one hundred or more feet off the ground, "Link, you idiot! How did you get yourself down there? I should have known!"

The blonde haired boy took a chance to very carefully move his head to look up at his fine-feathered friend. "I was trying to go visit Valoo!" his voice returned, slightly irritated as well. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm kind of busy right now!"

Medli folded her arms and frowned sternly down at him, "Need any help? At this point, I highly doubt you can get to safety on your own. I, on the other hand could fly you…" She could barely hear Link snort some distance below her as he struggled to get a hold on the pole that he was slipping off of.

"I'm fine! I've got the ocean below me, so if I fall, I'll be cushioned well enough. Don't you have chores to do or something?" Link could be such a freakin' moron sometimes.

"Be sensible! Falling from that height onto ANYTHING could be fatal. Even a giant pit of foam squares!" She could hear him laughing, the sound echoing around in the still air.

"Those were fun. I used to jump into them all the time when I was little," came his response, though his voice was slightly wobbly. With a deep breath, he heaved upwards, managing to scramble on top of the pole. Medli groaned. His voice came again, breathing heavily, though still managing to have a teasing ring to it,

"Still, I have plenty of tools that I can use incase I'm unable to manage." Medli was beginning to think that no amount of persuasion would get him to let her help him out, when suddenly she slipped on a rock, and leaned dangerously over the edge, accidentally dropping her harp in the process.

It seemed that Link didn't even stop to think. Heroes do that a great deal for some odd reason. Something to do with honor or chivalry…Medli didn't really care which. She just thought it was stupid. Very stupid. Moronically stupid. Because the next thing she knew, Link had fallen off his precarious perch, trying to catch the falling harp.

Medli suddenly forgot her distain for split second decisions to act the hero when she saw her young friend slip and fall off the poll. Her only thought was to reach him before he hit the water. The one thing that she hadn't taken into account in all this though, was that she couldn't support Link's weight and her own. Of course, she would only find this out when, grabbing Link's hand after him falling about fifty feet, she started to fall as well, her frantic wing flapping only slowing them down slightly.

The pair hit the water with a loud splash, and Medli rose to the surface, spluttering and muttering dark curses about all the things she would do to Link when they got to land. She was surprised to see though, that Link, who had risen up beside her, was treading water and laughing. At her puzzled look, he held up her now waterlogged harp,

"Am I good, or what?"

Medli tried to slap him, but he just grabbed her wrist with his free hand and began towing her none too gently towards land. They were at Dragon Roost and Link had come, claiming to have a little tune he wanted to teach Medli, but said it would have to wait, he had other important business, and had gotten himself winded up in that. Guys.

When Link and Medli reached the mainland, Komali, another feathered person of the bird people tribe of the island, was waiting for them. When he saw that both were ok, he looked extremely relieved,

"When I saw…if only I had gotten their sooner. Link, you should be a little more careful. And Medli, what were you thinking? You're not strong enough to support Link, and you can't swim! You might have drowned…or…or worse!"

Medli frowned at her friend, "Komali, I did just what any other tribesperson would do! It is our duty to help Link in his quest!" Komali rolled his eyes,

"Yes, but you're a female. Some of the men would be better suited for helping Link out. Besides, he can swim, and take care of himself. He doesn't need you to save him." Medli's eyes sparked with anger,

"Oh, now it's because I'm a girl, is it? I can't believe you!" She turned on her heel and stalked off in a huff. Link looked slightly bemused,

"Medli went after me even though she knew she couldn't fly me to safety in time or swim?" Komali shrugged,

"Girls are hapless romantics like that. They act before they think." Link looked down at Medli's harp, that was dripping wet, and thought briefly for a moment if he hadn't just described the general definition for a hero, not a girl. It made him slightly mad.

"I think you're calling me a sissy then."

"Where did you get that idea?"

Link held up the harp, "Thinking before acting? That's me. All the way, baby."

Komali shrugged, "So? You're a guy. Guys can do whatever they want and nobody cares. But, girls? Honestly! It was cute, but Medli shouldn't be doing anything dangerous like that!"

Link frowned, "I didn't think it was cute, I thought it was brave. Medli had no concern for her own safety, only for mine. If that wasn't heroic and strong display of friendship, then I don't know what is."

Komali looked annoyed, "Geez, man, chill. It's fine for guys to save guys, and guys to save girls, but girls just don't save guys. Anyway, why are you sticking up for her anyway? Are you trying to gain her affection or something?"

Link's face turned scarlet and Komali smirked, "Dude, fine, whatever, just don't let her go too far, ok? Next thing you know, Medli will be walking around in green clothes trying to wield a sword, and people will be hailing her as our savior. Teach a woman what her place is, that is what I say. Even my grandmother knew what was expected of her. Stay at home, teach and care for the young ones. Not off romping around playing with fire you just can't control."

Meanwhile, Medli was storming furiously around the peak of the island, ranking off to the only one who would listen; the great dragon, Valoo, "And so then Komali says to me 'but you're a female'. What an egotistical moron! I should never have taught him how to bloody fly." Valoo raised a giant eyebrow,

"He seemed to me a pretty decent sort when I gave him his wings. Very worthy and all that, being considerate enough to hand Din's pearl over to Link." Medli sighed exasperatedly and continued her wild pacing, sometimes hovering off the ground slightly,

"I bet that if I were in Link's shoes that Komali would have refused to give me the pearl, simply on the grounds that I'm too weak. It makes me so angry!" Valoo began to laugh, great furls of smoke pouring from his nostrils. Medli looked up at him, about to give him a piece of her mind, but he quickly said,

"Oh, do not get yourself in a tizzy, child, I do not agree with young Komali on all of his arguments. I just laugh in amusement as I imagine his face if you were to step into Link's shoes and become the hero, therefore disproving all the stereotypes that are ridden so in his blood."

Medli paused, looking thoughtfully up at the great red dragon, with a sudden flurry of determination, which abruptly halted his laughter. Valoo stirred uneasily as he watched a smile slowly spread across the young girl's face.

"You know what, Valoo? I will do that. I'll show Komali and the whole lot of them just how much a girl can do. I'll make them eat their words! Call me weak, will you? Tell me what my place is, will you? Well now, I'm going to show the world who I am, and if it's not what they want, too bad."

As she flew down to the lower levels, Valoo felt a shiver move down his spine, "Hmm…I'd better go check on my cookies. If I hurry, they might not be burnt yet!" He rushed into his den without another thought to the fiery young girl whose sheer willpower was about to make some severe changes not only around the island, but around old and new Hyrule itself, shaking the very foundations of the world that had been male-oriented for so long.

"Link!"

"Yes, Medli?"

"How the heck did you get down there again?"

"I…um…was determined to see Valoo?"

"WHY?"

"Because I have to ask him for his chocolate chip cookie recipe!"

"While you're hanging around there, could you play me that song you mentioned before?"
"Why?"

"To get your mind off cookies."

"Why do you want my mind off cookies?"

"You won't understand a word he says anyway. I'm the only one who can understand old speech."

"Hey…I know why you're trying to distract me…you know the recipe, don't you? And you knew that if I asked you, that you would get so flustered that you'd fall of the edge of the cliff again!"

Medli thought that it was oddly ironic that at that moment she had been distracted by a falling cookie, and at his words she had gotten very disoriented, and slipped, and fell. Link, had to, of course, hop off the darned pole after her, and it seemed that they were in the same position, except…

"Where is my harp?"

"I left it on my boat."
"Why?"

"Because after I direct the tune thing to you, you're going to remember you're a sage of an earth temple thing and I'll have to motor you there. So I was just thinking that I'd pack up for you so that when I'd talked to Valoo, we'd be ready to go."

"You're such a moron."

"Hey!"

"I need the harp to play the tune…"

"Oh…"

Five minutes later…

"You know, you are so adorable with your hair down."

Medli glared over at her companion as she wrung the excess water out of her hair. Link laughing at her angry expression and whipped out the windwaker. Medli shook the last drops of water from her hair in his general direction and picked up her harp.

"Do I really have to? We both know what'll happen, so it doesn't matter, does it?"

Link shrugged, "Tradition."

Sighing Medli softly strummed her harp to the tune that Link played. What Link didn't realize was that he was not only awakening a sage, but also fueling the fire that was now building in the young woman's heart. The fire of retribution, revenge, and determination.

Suddenly the earth sage previous to Medli's awakening popped up.

"Hey Medli! You're the new sage! I can finally go into retirement! Here's your badge, and have a nice life!" The sage disappeared as quickly as she had come. Medli blinked. Link blinked.

"Sooo…." He began, but Medli shrugged it off.

"Let's get going to the temple." She said softly and quickly walked down to the boat. Link missed the spark in her eyes or the small smile she had on her face when she got onboard, but he did notice that there was something different about his friend.

"Link!"

"Yes, Medli?"

"Why haven't you put the sail up yet?"

"I figured I'd just use the Ballad of Gales to get us to Outset, so we could make better time sailing from there."

"Whatever."

"Medli!"

"Yes, Link?"

"You might want to hold o…"

The wind picked up as the tornado of the weird wind controller frog dude carried the ship and it's passenger's into the sky, catching Medli off guard. She was unable to grab hold of the side fast enough, and was thrown out into space where she…

Link had already started moving. Heaving himself halfway over the side, he was able to grab Medli by her still-drying hair. She screeched in pain and flung out wildly, catching him in the side of the head and causing them both to fall overboard.

"Why do I have the feeling that I've been in this scenario before?" Medli muttered as she plunged down toward the waves her arms firmly planted around Link's leg, having forced him to release her hair. Her scalp was still burning, though. However, the pair didn't make it to the water…for once.

"Hey guys! Thought you might need some help!"

It was Komali. He grabbed Link's hand and towed him to where the boat had re-landed to retrieve his cargo, letting Medli fly along behind them.

"What with Medli being your only assistance and all."

Medli didn't make any preambles. She just socked Komali straight in the eye.

One chapter COMPLETE! Ok, so it does contain some fluff. Or maybe a heck of a lot, depending on your point of

view. Review, and umm…I'll update again later!