"We were broken up, Veronica. I was heartbroken," he reached for her but she yanked herself away.
"I'm heartbroken right now!" she yelled. She scrambled out of the bed, desperate to find her clothes.
"I really love you, Veronica," Logan got up, pulling on his pants as he watched her trying to hide her body from him and dress at the same time. It would have been endearing if it weren't so tragic. "The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you, and what I did makes me ill. I was ill when I realized what I had done. Physically, violently sick."
"Me too," Veronica said. She was so pale, he knew she was telling the truth. She looked about two seconds away from having to make a mad dash to the bathroom.
"I was blind drunk, I had absolutely no idea until the next morning."
"That's not an excuse, Logan!" Veronica exclaimed.
"I know!" He replied with equal fervor. "You have no idea how much I wish I could change it. I won't do this again. I will quit the drinking right now. The partying. It's dead to me. You and I are epic. There will never be a situation again where I could hurt you like this. What can I do?"
"Make it not true," Veronica cried, turning away from him and walking to the door.
He ran after her. Gently grabbed her arm and turned her around. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. "Don't walk away. I would make it not true if I could," he whispered into her hair. "I would change the world to make you happy if I could." Their love really was epic. Spanning years, continents. Lives ruined. Bloodshed. He'd never seen her emotionally bleed like this. Her pain destroyed him.
Veronica sobbed against him, her arms timidly wrapped around him. It gave him hope. He reveled in her embrace. He backed them up, pulling her with him so if he sat down, he'd be on the bed.
"Do you still love me?" He was scared to ask. Scared his revelation destroyed everything they are and had the potential to be.
"You are the love of my life, Logan," she said softly. Logan felt like his entire body gave out, going completely limp, his knees buckled and he dropped to the bed. She had never been the one to talk about emotions. "But this hurts so bad," she sobbed.
"God, I love you," he said, pressing his forehead to her sternum. "I love you. I would do anything to change it." He maneuvered her body to straddle his lap and looked into her eyes. His thumbs wiped her tears away, but they kept coming. He'd seen her vulnerable before, but never like this. He'd known how much this would hurt her. He'd known that if she found out it would be the end of them. He also knew that he needed to be honest. Madison Sinclair was a vindictive bitch, and he knew Veronica would find out regardless. He never prayed, but right now, he prayed.
"I don't know how to forgive this," her voice was shaking, pressing her face into his neck. It shattered his heart.
Please, Veronica, he prayed. Listen and forgive me. Yes. He'd slept with Madison Sinclair despite knowing the role she'd played in Veronica's rape. He had no idea how it had gotten to the point that he'd woken up next to her. He couldn't deny that he played a role in Veronica's rape, too. An arguably bigger role than Madison. If he hadn't had the GHB, Madison would never have passed Veronica the drink. If she hadn't been drugged, she never would have been in that guest room. Tears began to leak from his own eyes. Fuck. They were both so damaged, trying to have a normal relationship. But they weren't normal. They would never be normal, no matter how many times he won a ring toss game in order to win her a bear. But he loved her, enough to fight for her.
He kissed her, slow and deep, expecting her to pull away. She didn't. They wrapped their arms around each other, pulling each other as close as they could. He was so thankful; his tears came faster. At this point, he couldn't tell whose tears were whose. God, he loved her.
In the afterglow, Veronica cuddled against Logan's chest. He was so happy she was pressed against him. Skin to skin. He could feel her heartbeat and listen to her breathe. He would work the rest of his life to earn the privilege to be in this position. He knew sex didn't fix anything. Hell, when he was involved in the sex, it usually made things much worse. They need to have the conversation now.
Logan pressed a kiss to her forehead, and looked into her eyes as she began to speak. "Full disclosure, all the time, no matter what, or this will never work."
"Agreed." He thanked God, right then and there, that she was even talking about their relationship working. Please, let them have a future.
"You have to slow down on the partying." 100% yes. He'd already come to this conclusion. He knew Lianne had problems with alcohol. His own mother had problems with alcohol. His health, and awareness of the problem was extremely important.
"The partying is done. Nothing is worth losing you. I want to be healthy for myself, for you, for us."
"You have to talk to someone. Maybe we both need to talk to someone. Separately and together."
"Counseling? You're willing to go, too?" Logan was shocked.
"We've had a lot happen, Logan. We lost Lilly. I was drugged and raped. My mom left. Your father abused you, killed Lilly, and your mom killed herself. Your dad was murdered. We are hardly poster children for healthy relationships."
"Can't argue with that logic."
"I think it would help us. Neither of us trust easily, but we can't keep doing this to each other, Logan. Hiding big secrets that are revealed at the perfect opportunity to break us apart."
"I know," he kissed her forehead, again.
"We have to talk things out, we can't just ignore problems."
"I couldn't agree more."
"No more break ups. This is it for me," she whispered.
He kissed her deeply, pulling her as close as he could. "YOU are it for me, Veronica."