A Funnie Feeling
AN: I don't own Doug, or make money off it. Enjoy!
Doug Funnie emerged from beneath a tangle of sheets, bleary-eyed, and walked to his beloved journal desk:
Dear Journal,
I know I haven't been keeping up for the last few days, but things are getting really confusing in my life. I don't know who I am, or what I want anymore...
A Few Days Earlier
Doug pulled a crumpled wad of paper from his pocket. It was an invitation for his bully Roger's birthday party. The blood still boiled in his veins as he remembered receiving it:
"Hey Funnie!" the tall, green-skinned boy snarked, "Usually I wouldn't invite a loser like you to a cool party like mine, but the boys are out of town. Be there or be squuaare!"
But maybe this was it. Maybe this was Doug's chance to redeem himself socially in the eyes of his classmates and most of all...Patti Mayonnaise. Of course she would be there. All the guys wanted to run their hands up her tan, slender legs...cup their hands around her perky tits...And above all that included Roger. If Doug didn't go, well, everything would go wrong.
At last he approached Roger's run-down trailer. A couple high school kids he had never seen before were passed out on the lawn; Doug looked extremely out of place in his best sweater vest and khaki shorts. The doorbell was destroyed and the wires were hanging out, so he knocked instead.
Roger came to the door, reeking of alcohol. "FUNNIE!" He shouted. His balance had disappeared and he careened into the smaller boy's arms. "You made 't to m'birthday party! 'S great!"
The smaller boy followed his nemesis into the trailer. A few more high-schoolers were passed out across the spotty, cat-clawed furniture in various states of undress. He thought I could smell vomit rising from the carpet.
"I...um, where is everybody?" Panic was rising in Doug's throat. He had never been to a party like this before.
Roger slapped him on the back. "Here's th' party! Guess it ended sortttaa, sorta, early, on a'count a th' vodka, but 's back cause FUNNIE IS HERRREE!" Roger ran over to a dinky table buckling under the weight of various booze bottles. "Lemme fix ya somefin, Funnie!"
Doug had never touched alcohol before. He had walked in on his older sister Judy drinking red wine alone and reading Sartre, and she had offered him some, but he was too afraid of what could happen. He had played all the scenarios out in his mind: would it make him vomit everywhere? Would he be furious and unstoppable? And what if his parents found out?
But he also knew that if he didn't take this now, Roger would tell the whole school about how Funnie chickened out and ran home like a little baby once he poured the shots. "Ya just take th' whole thing down in one...that is, unless yer CHICKEN!" And the green-skinned boy demonstrated with much relish.
The smaller, squishier boy stared at the tiny glass in his hand. He sniffed its contents and winced. He held his giant nose with one hand. "Here goes nothing..." Surprisingly, it didn't sting as much as he had expected. In fact, he kind of liked it.
Three shots later, the vodka bottle was completely empty and Doug was feeling strangely content.
"Goddammit! Weeee're all out!" Roger cried. "'S fine, I know annuder way we can have fun!"
At this point, Doug was up for anything. "OHYAH," he shouted, "Jus' show me!"
Roger took Doug by the arm and lead the pink (now more of a deep fuchsia) boy to his bedroom. The green boy kicked the door behind him, and both of them still standing, he locked the other boy in a passionate kiss. At first, Doug kept his lips closed, not expecting this penetration, but then he opened them to accept the foreign tongue. It tasted sharp and foul, like the alcohol they had just drank, but it didn't matter. No one had ever been so...loving toward him.
"Ya like this, Funnie?"
Doug merely responded by pulling the redhead's body closer to his own, probing his mouth deeper. Roger peeled off his own leather jacket, then removed the balding boy's sweater vest and shirt in one pull.
"Get on the bed, bab-I mean, Funnie."
The green boy ran his fingers through the pudgy boy's sparse hair, then moved to his neck, licking and biting him passionately. He reached into his khaki shorts, feeling that his playmate was already half-erect.
"Funnie, suck on my nipples." He commanded, baring his well-toned green chest.
Doug was a little taken aback, but complied, taking a rock-hard avocado-colored mound into his mouth. His dominator moaned and grabbed the back of his pink head, pushing him lower until he reached his throbbing green cock. Instinctively, he ran his tongue along its underside, then traced the shape of its admirable head. It was healthy, a good 8 inches, and it was taut enough to blast at any moment. The squishy boy lapped up the precum seeping from this green wonder, and attempted to deep-throat it. This being his first time, he gagged hard, and resorted to hard, fast hand strokes.
In no time, Roger blasted Doug's bare, flabby chest with ribbons of hot, creamy cum. He panted, "Ugh...ugh...Funnie, let's do you." He got on all fours. "Funnie, fuck my ass raw."
Doug's pink hands spread the green globes apart to expose a dark green, open orifice. Taking his pink, 10-inch member in one hand, he slid into the warm, tight passage. It was so accommodating that the almost came immediately, being a virgin, but he slammed into his bully's round ass a few times before losing control inside him, making a whiny noise while doing so.
Roger passed out, and Doug took the opportunity to clean up before sneaking home and flopping into his own welcoming bed.
Well, if you think that's insane, I guess I'm just insane. But that's only the beginning.