DISCLAIMER: I don't own Angel or Buffy or anything except a few excellent
CDs and some videos. And that's about it.
TIMELINE: Entirely AU. Set in the 1940s. No vampires or anything.
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The Boys Are Back In Town
***
Buffy Summers was sure of three things in life. Number One: Her boyfriend loved her. Number Two: Frank Sinatra was the best, most handsome singer ever. Number Three: The war was something far away in Europe. Unfortunately, she was wrong about the third one.
***
June 1941. Sunnydale, California.
"Congratulations, sweetheart." Joyce Summers hugged her daughter tightly. Buffy had just graduated from Sunnydale High School Class of 1941. Her best friend Willow Rosenberg was Class Valedictorian. Now the flame haired girl came over to Buffy and her mother.
"Congratulations, Willow dear. That was a wonderful speech." Joyce told her. Willow blushed furiously.
"Tell me, honey," Joyce turned serious. "Have you heard anything about your grandparents?" Willow looked down at the floor and shook her head. Joyce put her arm around the girl.
Willow's grandparents were Polish Jews and nothing had been heard from them for a worrying amount of time.
"You're coming to Buffy's graduation party?" Joyce asked Willow. The girl nodded eagerly, forcing happiness into her smile.
"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world."
***
The house on Revello Drive was packed to bursting that night. Practically the entire graduating class had turned up. Buffy, on the other hand, didn't really care who had shown up, she was more concerned about one person who had yet to arrive.
"Buffy, he'll be here soon." Willow said, handing her friend a bottle of Coke.
"I know. I just wish he'd hurry up." She said.
"He'll be here." At that very moment, a car pulled up outside the house. Buffy jumped up from her seat and ran outside.
"Angel!"
"Hey, Buffy! Congratulations baby!" He jumped out of the car and pulled the blonde into his arms. He kissed her and she reciprocated fully, her hands on his neck, then up onto the back of his head, before running her fingers through his hair. She stopped, pulled away and opened her eyes.
"What happened to your hair?" She demanded. Where Angel once had perfectly slicked back hair like a movie star, now he had a close crop.
"Oh. Uh. I need to talk to you." He said, taking her hand and leading her around to the back porch.
"You did it, didn't you?" She said. "You signed up."
"Yes." Angel looked down at the ground.
"Why? I begged you not to." She said, tears forming rapidly in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. But I have family in Britain and in Italy. There are people being killed for nothing more than their thoughts. I can't sit by and do nothing."
"Yes you can!"
"No, Buffy. I've joined the army. I'll probably be going to Britain."
"How soon?"
"Two weeks before I go to boot camp."
"Angel," She started in a small voice. "You promised me."
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah. I know you are." She leaned heavily into him.
"You're just twenty years old, Angel."
"Yeah. There are people younger than me going to fight."
"Really? Like who?" She immediately shot back.
"Like Xander." She turned and glared at him with undisguised venom.
"Xander?" She demanded. He nodded a little sadly.
"He was even more determined to join up than I was." Angel told her.
"Why is everyone leaving me?" She asked despondently.
"We're not leaving you." He told her. "This is something so much bigger than just one or two people. This is about the whole world." He stood up.
"I know." She admitted, standing up and taking his arm.
"I just don't want you to...." She trailed off, not wanting to verbalise her worst fears.
"I know." He kissed her on the forehead.
"You want to go back inside?" She asked.
"No." He said with a smirk. "But we probably should." Angel wrapped his arm securely around her waist and led her into the house.
***
Angel Flynn was two years older than Buffy. Tall, dark, broad-shouldered, well muscled, utterly gorgeous and the star quarterback for Sunnydale High School from freshman year, he was the object of desire for every girl in Sunnydale. But from the moment in his junior year Joyce and Buffy Summers moved to Sunnydale and she became a freshman, Angel's heart belonged to Buffy.
She was little and blonde where he was tall and dark, bright and cheerful where he could sometimes be prone to brooding. He was the youngest member of the oldest Sunnydale family. The Flynns were rich and had been in Sunnydale since the town's founding in the late 1800s. Angel and his parents lived in the huge mansion on the hill. It had been built in the earlier part of the century by his grandfather as an ego trip. Samuel Flynn had simply wanted to show the world how rich and powerful he was, and now Angel lived in a huge grey house that was too big for his tastes.
***
Angel and Buffy had been together almost since she arrived in Sunnydale. She had quickly become one of the most liked girls at school with her bubbly, personable demeanour, although when she snatched Angel away from all the other girls, she made many jealous. But soon enough, Angel and Buffy became the golden couple of the school and had been voted Cutest Couple four years in a row, a Sunnydale High record. Everyone expected them to get married almost as soon as she graduated, and they feared for both now that Angel was off to become a hero.
***
A huge farewell party was planned for Angel and Xander- two of Sunnydale's favourite young men. Everyone wanted to wish them both the best and other such things. It got to such an extent that Buffy, who only had two weeks left with Angel, found herself unable to speak to him due to everyone else.
It frustrated her beyond belief. She was his girlfriend! Surely that got her some kind of special treatment? But no, Buffy found herself almost entirely sidelined, and Angel was powerless to stop it. After all, he was always too polite and courteous to decline invitations to dinner or to cut off conversations.
***
The night of Angel and Xander's farewell party came upon them much quicker than anybody wanted. Buffy dressed up and plastered a smile on her face, but inside she was utterly dying. Her Angel was leaving the next day, she couldn't do anything about it and she couldn't even get close enough to him to say anything about it.
Angel's smile began to fade rather quickly as the party continued. He just wanted to sit on the beach outside with Buffy. He searched the room for her, and when he realised she was no longer there, it was his impetus to stop the conversation and leave the party.
He ran out of the country club and then looked around. The lights brightly blazing inside the club illuminated the beach enough for him to make out the figure of a small blonde sitting a way down on the dunes, looking out to the ocean. Without another hesitation he ran over to her.
"Buffy?" She turned, her eyes red from tears already shed.
"What?"
"Are you all right?"
"No." She said shortly, turning back to the ocean.
"Buffy..."
"Don't 'Buffy' me, Private." She snapped. He sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. She tensed, but allowed him to continue.
"I'm sorry, Buffy. I don't want to leave you. And if I had the choice, I'd never leave your side."
"You do have a choice. America isn't at war."
"Yet." He added. She merely snorted derisively.
"It isn't about that. You know that." He told her gently.
"I know. But I'm going to be selfish. You couldn't make a difference, not just you on your own."
"Maybe." He paused. "But what if every man said that?"
"There'd be no war."
"True. But there would be persecution. Adolf Hitler would have all of Europe by now."
"I know." She sighed.
"Besides, there are things I can do. I speak fluent Italian, near-perfect German and French. One man can make all the difference."
"But why does that one man have to be you?" Buffy asked sadly. He smiled sweetly at her.
"So when I come home you can marry a hero." Angel grinned. He then pulled a small box from his pocket and handed it to her. Her eyes widened and she smiled.
"I was going to do this later. It was going to be a big thing."
"I like it this way." She opened the box to reveal a diamond ring.
"It was my mother's." He told her. She smiled and allowed him to slide it onto her finger.
"It's too big." She pointed out as it came off easily. Angel's face fell.
"Damn. That was meant to be romantic as hell."
"It was." She laughed. She unclasped the necklace she wore and put the ring onto it.
"Just until I can get it adjusted." She told him.
"No. I'll bring you a new one from Europe." He promised.
"It's a deal." She kissed him softly. "You should get back to your party."
"Come on." He stood up and clasped her hand. "You're not leaving my side, Summers." He told her, and she laughed.
***
The party sped by after that. All were thrilled to hear Angel announce his engagement to Buffy. All except Joyce Summers, who was concerned that her daughter would be left hanging around waiting for someone who wouldn't return.
***
The next morning, Buffy woke up earlier than ever before in order to say goodbye to Angel. She stood shivering in front of the huge front door of the Flynn mansion before the sun was even up. The only thing warming her were the arms wrapped tightly around her.
"Please don't go." She whispered.
"I'll be back before you even notice." He told her, flashing her a bright, charming smile. He kissed her for as long as they could stand it, before Xander arrived.
"Buffy!" He called, running up to the front door and hugging his friend tightly.
"I'll miss you Xand."
"I'm coming back, Buff." He told her.
"You'd better." She said. He let go of her and she immediately gravitated back towards Angel.
"Now, why aren't I surprised you're here, Summers?" Xander joked. Then, he checked his watch.
"Angel, my friend, we really have to go."
"Just a couple more minutes?" Angel begged.
"We should've left seven and a half minutes ago."
"OK." He turned to Buffy, tears in his eyes refusing to fall. "I love you."
"I love you." She replied and watched as her fiancé and her best friend walked down the path and got into the car. The pained but determined look on Angel's face as the car pulled away would remain burned forever into Buffy's memory.
***
Time passed. The news of the war in Europe became more intense, and Buffy was forced to admit that Angel was right: It did affect them all. While in boot camp Angel sent as many letters as he could, and Buffy found herself rushing to the mailbox each day in hope of another letter.
***
Then on December 7th, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and the Americans officially joined the war. What had previously been European was now worldwide. Angel and Xander were both sent to bases in Britain with the US Army and the letters home became fewer and further between.
Buffy threw herself into the war effort with a fervour and intensity that surprised even her. She organised paper drives and scrap drives and war bond drives. She organised a canteen to rival that of the Hollywood Canteen run by Joan Crawford. She organised a playgroup for the children of Sunnydale so that their mothers could go and work at the munitions factory or make parachutes. Buffy even worked there too. Buffy didn't just do her bit, she did the work of ten people.
She became a familiar and welcome face in Sunnydale as she went around town working as hard as she possibly could and bring Angel home to her. She wept with Sunnydale mothers as they learned of their sons' deaths and each tear she shed was for Angel. She went to church and prayed for the soldiers along with everyone else, and every prayer she said was for Angel.
***
There had always been a small military base just outside Sunnydale, but with the war it trebled in size. A flood of soldiers arrived in Sunnydale for various kinds of training before being shipped to Europe or the Pacific, and most residents found it comforting to see so many men in uniform around. Buffy, on the other hand, was only reminded of her uniformed fiancé far away and felt sick. She came to dread working at the Sunnydale Canteen for the soldiers, but she continued just the same, her thoughts always with Angel.
***
11th February 1942 Dear Buffy,
It's been so long since I've been home, and I miss you terribly. It's wet and cold here most of the time and I long for the blue skies and beaches of Sunnydale. Most of all, I long for you. The boys are always on at me to take advantage of all the pretty English girls but I only want you. Xander has been posted elsewhere in Britain. I can't tell you where and if I did, the censor who is reading this before you would just blank it out anyway. Life here is hard. There has been constant bombing for a long time and so many people have lost lives and homes and well, everything. But the British are a curious sort with their stiff upper lips and they won't let a little thing like homelessness or loved ones dying stop them from working hard to stop Hitler. But don't you worry Buffy, sweet, darling Buffy. The war is already coming to an end and I'll be home before you know it.
Love forever,
Angel.
***
She read and re-read her letter. She knew that the last sentence was a lie. From anyone else she disregarded such talk as empty-headed optimism. But from Angel, she bought into it entirely.
As she and Willow went to the movies twice a week, Buffy would watch the newsreels with a curious mix of fascination and horror. She would see films of bombed out families in London, Liverpool and Coventry and wonder if one of the people helping them was Angel. She would listen to reports on the wireless about troop movements and wonder if Angel was with them. It always, always came back to Angel.
She continued to receive sporadic letters from Angel and she learned that he was rapidly making his way up the ranks of the army. This worried her. Why did he have to be so good at everything? Why did he have to be a hero? Buffy knew that heroes got killed; cautious soldiers came home. She wanted Angel to come home. Xander wrote to her too: He was using his good grades in science to join the bomb squad, diffusing and otherwise taking care of unexploded bombs and other explosives. She was both proud and utterly horrified.
***
But life went on and so did Buffy. The smile stayed in place as she tried to sell old Mrs Thompson yet more war bonds. The smile stayed in place as she asked for yet more scrap. The smile stayed in place as she worked in the canteen amongst all those soldiers. But at home, the smile disappeared. She could be strong for the boys 'Over There' and she could be strong for all the Sunnydale residents who were just as concerned and scared as she. But she couldn't be strong for herself.
Every night when she returned home was the same. Each night she pulled out her sheaf of letters from Angel and re-read them, hoping against hope that by memorising each of his words, it brought her closer to him.
***
"How was your day, dear?" Joyce would ask each night when her daughter returned from one or another of her activities.
"Fine." Buffy would then automatically answer monotonously. Joyce would talk a little more and would become more and more concerned about Buffy's monosyllabic answers. Then, when she would concede defeat, Buffy would head up the stairs and wouldn't emerge until morning to repeat the facade of living once more.
***
Then, in August 1942, a year after leaving, Xander returned home. He was one of the lucky ones. His bomb squad had been clearing an unexploded bomb near a hospital in Coventry. All was well until it began to rain. Visibility became atrocious, but they carried on regardless. Then, Xander's superior officer slipped in the mud. The bomb was only partly disengaged and went off. Thanks to the efforts of the bomb squad, the bomb didn't destroy the hospital or injure anyone inside. But Xander's superior officer was killed and Xander returned home to California with burns and a broken ankle. For Xander at least, the war was over.
Xander's return made Buffy rest a little easier. He was home safely- his burns would heal and his bones would mend. She found herself calling on a growing number of wives and mothers whose husbands and sons had been killed. She wept with them, for them. She persuaded the Flynn family to set up a fund for war widows and then she campaigned tirelessly for the fund.
***
Life became a routine that she found increasingly easy to handle. She didn't stop thinking of Angel, and her fears didn't lessen. But she found herself able to enjoy her few pleasures in life again- the movies with Willow and Xander, the children at the playgroup. Some, but not all, of the sparkle returned to her eyes and her smile became brighter. She found that she could live without him. She just didn't want to.
***
The news that she had been dreading, the news that kept her awake nights, arrived on September 25th 1942. Angel's mother Mary telephoned the Summers house just as she was about to head out to the canteen. Mrs Flynn sounded strained. Perhaps it was about the tea dance in two weeks time. She leapt into her mother's car, disregarding petrol shortages for the first time since war began- she needed to be at the canteen soon. She raced through Sunnydale and up the hill to the Flynn estate on Crawford Street.
"Hello Buffy, dear." She was surprised to be greeted at the door by Mrs Flynn herself, not Robert the butler. She examined Mrs Flynn's face carefully, but she could only find a little puffiness around her eyes. For the first time, anxiety crept into Buffy's heart.
"What's the matter, Mrs Flynn?" She asked, her voice trembling. She prayed that it was only about the tea dance in two weeks' time. Mrs Flynn took Buffy's arm and led her into the drawing room.
"We received a telegram this morning." Mrs Flynn began. Buffy, her heart pounding wildly, sank into an overstuffed leather chair.
"Angel... He's been reported missing." Mrs Flynn continued. Buffy almost sighed with relief.
"Only missing? So he's not dead?"
"Well... Most of his unit was found dead. The officer I spoke to on the telephone said that his unit was killed, and that they found bodies." Mrs Flynn paused in a rare moment of public emotion.
"Yes?"
"They said that Angel was driving and would have been..."
"I understand." Buffy's heart sank completely before shattering into tiny little pieces. She quickly thanked Mrs Flynn for telling her personally before excusing herself and driving back to Revello Drive in record time.
***
At first, Buffy didn't leave her room. For days Joyce took food up, and her concerned frown morphed into a worried frown as the trays came back untouched. It was, in fact, a full eight days before Buffy emerged from the darkness of her room. It was on the eighth day that a still limping Xander arrived, marched up the stairs and dragged her out into the sunlight.
She was pale, drawn and unbelievably thin after her voluntary starvation. The sun made her eyes sting and water after so long in a room with thick curtains shutting out both day and night.
"Buffy..." Xander began. She stared up at him and in that moment he realised that, no matter how devastated he was at the loss of his best friend, it was infinitesimal compared to how she felt.
"They never found him. Maybe he's still alive." Xander told her softly. He truly believed that Angel would return eventually. He wasn't dead, Xander told himself.
"Maybe." Buffy turned to him. "I always thought I'd know when... But I didn't. I thought it was about the tea dance next week."
"Well, there you go. There's always hope." Xander agreed reassuringly.
"Hope. OK." Buffy said softly. They sat silently for a few moments before Buffy stood up.
"I have to get to the canteen." She said, flashing Xander a bright smile. Sad, but bright. She would pull herself out of this even if it killed her.
***
Buffy resumed her work at the canteen, at the playgroup, selling war bonds. In fact, had the residents of Sunnydale not heard about the town's favourite son, they might have imagined Buffy's weeklong absence to be due to illness of some kind.
They didn't say it, but everyone in Sunnydale understood how much Buffy loved Angel, and how much it must be killing her inside. Everyone noticed how his ring still hung loyally around her neck, like a talisman to ward off evil and sadness.
"Buffy! Over here!" Willow shouted. Buffy was hard at work serving hungry soldiers when her flame haired friend arrived.
"Hi Will!" She called back breathlessly. She smiled sweetly at the soldier before turning her attention to her friend.
"There's a double feature on at the Sun in twenty minutes."
"What's playing?"
"Nothing new. The Adventures of Robin Hood followed by The Philadelphia Story."
"A curious combination."
"I know. Prints of new movies are going to bigger movie theatres first. War on, and all."
"Yeah."
"Will you come?"
"Pass up Errol Flynn and James Stewart? I don't think so!" Buffy grinned. She pulled off her apron and folded it loosely in her arms.
"I was meant to be finished twenty minutes ago anyway."
"I know. I was waiting outside for you."
"Sorry. I lose track of time."
"I know. It's OK." Willow smiled and took her friend's arm. "Xander's foot is getting better."
"He told me." Buffy said. Sensing that she was about become deep in thought, Willow decided to perk her friend up.
"OK, now, who would you choose: Errol Flynn or James Stewart?" She said. Buffy fixed her with a stare which said 'How can you choose?' and then burst into a fit of giggles.
***
They settled into a routine whereby Willow would collect Buffy from the canteen and then they would go to the movies, or to the beauty parlour, or to the park, or to anywhere that Buffy could take her mind off Angel, the war, and life itself.
"Buffy!" Willow called from the doors of the canteen as she did whenever she came for her friend. As always, Buffy hung up her apron and went over to her friend.
"Hey Will."
"Hi Buffy, I want you to meet someone." Willow said, her eyes sparkling. Buffy privately groaned.
For the last couple of weeks, since roughly two months since the telegram came, Willow had been introducing her to all manner of eligible young men. Didn't Willow understand that she only wanted Angel? And since Angel was dead, she didn't want anyone at all.
"This is Captain Finn. He's at Camp Sunnydale." Willow introduced Buffy to a tall, gawky young man with dirty blond hair in a severe crew cut. Clearly this young man was a stickler for regulations. He grinned widely at her, grabbing her hand and shaking it vigorously.
"It's great to meet you Miss Summers! Willow told me all about you!" Buffy managed a weak smile.
"Really? You're a mystery to me." Captain Finn laughed nervously.
"Do you have a first name, Captain?" Buffy asked.
"Uh, yes. Riley. Captain Riley Finn." Buffy just nodded. Willow, sensing that her plan was failing, prompted Riley.
"Riley suggested to me that we all go to the movies."
"Really?" Buffy asked, knowing full well what Willow was suggesting. She glared at her friend, but Willow was oblivious.
"Uh, sure. Why don't we, huh Buffy?" Riley stammered. Buffy sighed heavily.
She could decline, as she had every time previously. But then she would have to endure Willow's pleading, her listing every reason why Buffy should go out with Riley. Then of course, the lecture about moving on. She was completely exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. So, she nodded in agreement.
"Sure." Riley beamed in delight and took Buffy's arm.
***
Quite some time later, Buffy returned home. She had actually had an all right time. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad either. In fact, after some more persuasion from Willow, Buffy had agreed to meet with Riley again on Friday night. A date. A date with someone who wasn't Angel.
As she stared at the smiling, handsome face staring at her from her bedside table, Buffy's heart broke all over again. A couple of tears dropped from her eyes, but she refused to cry again. In that moment, Buffy realised that she had to move on. She realised that her heart would always belong, in its entirety, to Angel. She realised that she would never love anyone like Angel, if she ever loved again at all. But she also realised that she must move on for the sake of her sanity. And she hoped that Angel would forgive her.
***
Some time passed. The ring remained hanging loyally around Buffy's neck, but every Friday night Riley took her to the movies. He took her on long drives through the countryside surrounding Sunnydale, often bringing picnic baskets. He celebrated Christmas that year with the Summers family at Joyce's insistence. He clearly adored Buffy, although she didn't- couldn't- love him as he wanted her to. Riley still didn't know about Angel.
She had told him about her boyfriend who had died in the war, but little else. She couldn't face the Angel talk with Riley, not yet. Perhaps not ever. How was she to tell her supposed boyfriend that she would never love him, and that her love was dead on the battlefields of war torn Europe?
***
Joyce liked Riley- a fine, upstanding citizen, a boy doing his bit for his country, but in no hurry to get himself killed. He was a typical All- American boy from Iowa who called everyone 'Sir' or 'Ma'am'. He was entirely unlike Angel, who was rich, worldly, almost exotic by Sunnydale standards, and of course heroic. And dead.
She had always had her misgivings about Angel and Buffy, especially at the intensity of their relationship right from the start. She was glad Buffy had met a nice young man like Riley who would never break her heart. Of course, what Joyce would never understand was that Riley would never break Buffy's heart because her heart was never his.
***
New Year passed with celebrations, if muted, hoping for peace. But Buffy suspected that 1943 would bring much of the same, pain, death and other atrocities that were a part of war. She watched newsreels and read newspapers. In January 1943 she read that 19 year old girls in Britain, younger than her- 20 that January- would be called up for service.
Still, in many ways, the war remained distant. After all, living in a town as beautiful and peaceful as Sunnydale, how could one dream that in other parts of the world, there were people dying in their hundreds and thousands? Even when, that February, a Japanese submarine shelled the California coast, the war remained distant. In Hollywood, the Academy Awards carried on regardless in March. The patriotic Mrs. Miniver won best picture and its star, Greer Garson went on for five and a half minutes in her best actress speech.
Life went on, but certainly not better. The war was becoming ever more intense in Europe, the Pacific, and in North Africa, the British Eighth Army took Tripoli. But the war was far from won, and Xander knew this better than most people in the town, having seen it himself, and so when his foot healed, he approached Buffy with trepidation.
"I'm going back." He said. They were standing on the boardwalk watching the sun go down after catching a movie.
"What?" She turned on him angrily. He looked down at the floor. It killed him to have yet another man leave her, even if it was just him.
"I'm going back. I'm going to England."
"They made you?" She demanded. He shook his head.
"No. I requested a return to my commission."
"Why?" She screeched, ignoring the group of society matrons who had stopped to wonder why the usually dignified, mature young lady was shouting at the top of her voice.
"They need my help. I need to help."
"Why?" She asked, softly this time.
"I told you."
"You want to be a hero." She said unquestioningly.
"I guess." Xander admitted. Buffy then got angry again.
"Yeah? Well Angel was a hero! And you know what? Angel's dead! Fine, go help people, go save lives, go be a hero! But don't expect me to cry when they bring you back home in a pine box!" She screamed before storming away.
***
The rainy April day that the newly re-uniformed Xander Harris left for England, Buffy refused to see him off, instead choosing to work all day at the munitions factory. Xander gave Willow a letter to give to Buffy, simply telling her that he understood how she felt.
The truth was, and he knew it, that Buffy couldn't bear to say another goodbye, she couldn't risk losing someone else. The relief she had felt seeing him, her best friend, return safely was now replaced once more with fear and dread. He knew that, and only his knowledge of the horrors in Europe made him leave her again. He would never admit it, but leaving his best friends again broke his heart.
***
Buffy began to cling closely to Riley, terrified that he would leave too. If he noticed her changed demeanour, he didn't say anything. In fact, Riley welcomed her new closeness. He had often despaired of the distance she kept herself at and now imagined that she had removed that distance. He grew confident as Buffy spent more and more time with him- almost to the exclusion of everything else. His ego told him that it was because she loved him. It was certainly a flattering concept.
Buffy was, after all, the most popular, well known, beloved young woman in Sunnydale. There had even been light-hearted jokes that Buffy was in the running to be the next Mayor of Sunnydale. And she had chosen him. He wasn't to know that she had chosen him for lack of options, that she clung to him only because she had an almost crippling fear of being abandoned again. He applied to stay at Camp Sunnydale after she asked him to, taking a desk job instead of going off to fight. He imagined that she loved him so much that she wanted him to stay close, but he was mistaken.
***
Time passed and Riley grew more mistaken. He decided that the only thing left to do was to propose marriage to her. He didn't know that another, better man ad once done the same thing, and he certainly didn't know that the ring that still hung on the chain around Buffy's neck was his ring. He didn't know that, in her heart and in her mind, Buffy considered herself to be engaged, even if her fiancé was no longer there.
***
TIMELINE: Entirely AU. Set in the 1940s. No vampires or anything.
FEEDBACK: Pretty please? It's not hard- just click the little button at the bottom of the page.
The Boys Are Back In Town
***
Buffy Summers was sure of three things in life. Number One: Her boyfriend loved her. Number Two: Frank Sinatra was the best, most handsome singer ever. Number Three: The war was something far away in Europe. Unfortunately, she was wrong about the third one.
***
June 1941. Sunnydale, California.
"Congratulations, sweetheart." Joyce Summers hugged her daughter tightly. Buffy had just graduated from Sunnydale High School Class of 1941. Her best friend Willow Rosenberg was Class Valedictorian. Now the flame haired girl came over to Buffy and her mother.
"Congratulations, Willow dear. That was a wonderful speech." Joyce told her. Willow blushed furiously.
"Tell me, honey," Joyce turned serious. "Have you heard anything about your grandparents?" Willow looked down at the floor and shook her head. Joyce put her arm around the girl.
Willow's grandparents were Polish Jews and nothing had been heard from them for a worrying amount of time.
"You're coming to Buffy's graduation party?" Joyce asked Willow. The girl nodded eagerly, forcing happiness into her smile.
"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world."
***
The house on Revello Drive was packed to bursting that night. Practically the entire graduating class had turned up. Buffy, on the other hand, didn't really care who had shown up, she was more concerned about one person who had yet to arrive.
"Buffy, he'll be here soon." Willow said, handing her friend a bottle of Coke.
"I know. I just wish he'd hurry up." She said.
"He'll be here." At that very moment, a car pulled up outside the house. Buffy jumped up from her seat and ran outside.
"Angel!"
"Hey, Buffy! Congratulations baby!" He jumped out of the car and pulled the blonde into his arms. He kissed her and she reciprocated fully, her hands on his neck, then up onto the back of his head, before running her fingers through his hair. She stopped, pulled away and opened her eyes.
"What happened to your hair?" She demanded. Where Angel once had perfectly slicked back hair like a movie star, now he had a close crop.
"Oh. Uh. I need to talk to you." He said, taking her hand and leading her around to the back porch.
"You did it, didn't you?" She said. "You signed up."
"Yes." Angel looked down at the ground.
"Why? I begged you not to." She said, tears forming rapidly in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. But I have family in Britain and in Italy. There are people being killed for nothing more than their thoughts. I can't sit by and do nothing."
"Yes you can!"
"No, Buffy. I've joined the army. I'll probably be going to Britain."
"How soon?"
"Two weeks before I go to boot camp."
"Angel," She started in a small voice. "You promised me."
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah. I know you are." She leaned heavily into him.
"You're just twenty years old, Angel."
"Yeah. There are people younger than me going to fight."
"Really? Like who?" She immediately shot back.
"Like Xander." She turned and glared at him with undisguised venom.
"Xander?" She demanded. He nodded a little sadly.
"He was even more determined to join up than I was." Angel told her.
"Why is everyone leaving me?" She asked despondently.
"We're not leaving you." He told her. "This is something so much bigger than just one or two people. This is about the whole world." He stood up.
"I know." She admitted, standing up and taking his arm.
"I just don't want you to...." She trailed off, not wanting to verbalise her worst fears.
"I know." He kissed her on the forehead.
"You want to go back inside?" She asked.
"No." He said with a smirk. "But we probably should." Angel wrapped his arm securely around her waist and led her into the house.
***
Angel Flynn was two years older than Buffy. Tall, dark, broad-shouldered, well muscled, utterly gorgeous and the star quarterback for Sunnydale High School from freshman year, he was the object of desire for every girl in Sunnydale. But from the moment in his junior year Joyce and Buffy Summers moved to Sunnydale and she became a freshman, Angel's heart belonged to Buffy.
She was little and blonde where he was tall and dark, bright and cheerful where he could sometimes be prone to brooding. He was the youngest member of the oldest Sunnydale family. The Flynns were rich and had been in Sunnydale since the town's founding in the late 1800s. Angel and his parents lived in the huge mansion on the hill. It had been built in the earlier part of the century by his grandfather as an ego trip. Samuel Flynn had simply wanted to show the world how rich and powerful he was, and now Angel lived in a huge grey house that was too big for his tastes.
***
Angel and Buffy had been together almost since she arrived in Sunnydale. She had quickly become one of the most liked girls at school with her bubbly, personable demeanour, although when she snatched Angel away from all the other girls, she made many jealous. But soon enough, Angel and Buffy became the golden couple of the school and had been voted Cutest Couple four years in a row, a Sunnydale High record. Everyone expected them to get married almost as soon as she graduated, and they feared for both now that Angel was off to become a hero.
***
A huge farewell party was planned for Angel and Xander- two of Sunnydale's favourite young men. Everyone wanted to wish them both the best and other such things. It got to such an extent that Buffy, who only had two weeks left with Angel, found herself unable to speak to him due to everyone else.
It frustrated her beyond belief. She was his girlfriend! Surely that got her some kind of special treatment? But no, Buffy found herself almost entirely sidelined, and Angel was powerless to stop it. After all, he was always too polite and courteous to decline invitations to dinner or to cut off conversations.
***
The night of Angel and Xander's farewell party came upon them much quicker than anybody wanted. Buffy dressed up and plastered a smile on her face, but inside she was utterly dying. Her Angel was leaving the next day, she couldn't do anything about it and she couldn't even get close enough to him to say anything about it.
Angel's smile began to fade rather quickly as the party continued. He just wanted to sit on the beach outside with Buffy. He searched the room for her, and when he realised she was no longer there, it was his impetus to stop the conversation and leave the party.
He ran out of the country club and then looked around. The lights brightly blazing inside the club illuminated the beach enough for him to make out the figure of a small blonde sitting a way down on the dunes, looking out to the ocean. Without another hesitation he ran over to her.
"Buffy?" She turned, her eyes red from tears already shed.
"What?"
"Are you all right?"
"No." She said shortly, turning back to the ocean.
"Buffy..."
"Don't 'Buffy' me, Private." She snapped. He sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. She tensed, but allowed him to continue.
"I'm sorry, Buffy. I don't want to leave you. And if I had the choice, I'd never leave your side."
"You do have a choice. America isn't at war."
"Yet." He added. She merely snorted derisively.
"It isn't about that. You know that." He told her gently.
"I know. But I'm going to be selfish. You couldn't make a difference, not just you on your own."
"Maybe." He paused. "But what if every man said that?"
"There'd be no war."
"True. But there would be persecution. Adolf Hitler would have all of Europe by now."
"I know." She sighed.
"Besides, there are things I can do. I speak fluent Italian, near-perfect German and French. One man can make all the difference."
"But why does that one man have to be you?" Buffy asked sadly. He smiled sweetly at her.
"So when I come home you can marry a hero." Angel grinned. He then pulled a small box from his pocket and handed it to her. Her eyes widened and she smiled.
"I was going to do this later. It was going to be a big thing."
"I like it this way." She opened the box to reveal a diamond ring.
"It was my mother's." He told her. She smiled and allowed him to slide it onto her finger.
"It's too big." She pointed out as it came off easily. Angel's face fell.
"Damn. That was meant to be romantic as hell."
"It was." She laughed. She unclasped the necklace she wore and put the ring onto it.
"Just until I can get it adjusted." She told him.
"No. I'll bring you a new one from Europe." He promised.
"It's a deal." She kissed him softly. "You should get back to your party."
"Come on." He stood up and clasped her hand. "You're not leaving my side, Summers." He told her, and she laughed.
***
The party sped by after that. All were thrilled to hear Angel announce his engagement to Buffy. All except Joyce Summers, who was concerned that her daughter would be left hanging around waiting for someone who wouldn't return.
***
The next morning, Buffy woke up earlier than ever before in order to say goodbye to Angel. She stood shivering in front of the huge front door of the Flynn mansion before the sun was even up. The only thing warming her were the arms wrapped tightly around her.
"Please don't go." She whispered.
"I'll be back before you even notice." He told her, flashing her a bright, charming smile. He kissed her for as long as they could stand it, before Xander arrived.
"Buffy!" He called, running up to the front door and hugging his friend tightly.
"I'll miss you Xand."
"I'm coming back, Buff." He told her.
"You'd better." She said. He let go of her and she immediately gravitated back towards Angel.
"Now, why aren't I surprised you're here, Summers?" Xander joked. Then, he checked his watch.
"Angel, my friend, we really have to go."
"Just a couple more minutes?" Angel begged.
"We should've left seven and a half minutes ago."
"OK." He turned to Buffy, tears in his eyes refusing to fall. "I love you."
"I love you." She replied and watched as her fiancé and her best friend walked down the path and got into the car. The pained but determined look on Angel's face as the car pulled away would remain burned forever into Buffy's memory.
***
Time passed. The news of the war in Europe became more intense, and Buffy was forced to admit that Angel was right: It did affect them all. While in boot camp Angel sent as many letters as he could, and Buffy found herself rushing to the mailbox each day in hope of another letter.
***
Then on December 7th, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and the Americans officially joined the war. What had previously been European was now worldwide. Angel and Xander were both sent to bases in Britain with the US Army and the letters home became fewer and further between.
Buffy threw herself into the war effort with a fervour and intensity that surprised even her. She organised paper drives and scrap drives and war bond drives. She organised a canteen to rival that of the Hollywood Canteen run by Joan Crawford. She organised a playgroup for the children of Sunnydale so that their mothers could go and work at the munitions factory or make parachutes. Buffy even worked there too. Buffy didn't just do her bit, she did the work of ten people.
She became a familiar and welcome face in Sunnydale as she went around town working as hard as she possibly could and bring Angel home to her. She wept with Sunnydale mothers as they learned of their sons' deaths and each tear she shed was for Angel. She went to church and prayed for the soldiers along with everyone else, and every prayer she said was for Angel.
***
There had always been a small military base just outside Sunnydale, but with the war it trebled in size. A flood of soldiers arrived in Sunnydale for various kinds of training before being shipped to Europe or the Pacific, and most residents found it comforting to see so many men in uniform around. Buffy, on the other hand, was only reminded of her uniformed fiancé far away and felt sick. She came to dread working at the Sunnydale Canteen for the soldiers, but she continued just the same, her thoughts always with Angel.
***
11th February 1942 Dear Buffy,
It's been so long since I've been home, and I miss you terribly. It's wet and cold here most of the time and I long for the blue skies and beaches of Sunnydale. Most of all, I long for you. The boys are always on at me to take advantage of all the pretty English girls but I only want you. Xander has been posted elsewhere in Britain. I can't tell you where and if I did, the censor who is reading this before you would just blank it out anyway. Life here is hard. There has been constant bombing for a long time and so many people have lost lives and homes and well, everything. But the British are a curious sort with their stiff upper lips and they won't let a little thing like homelessness or loved ones dying stop them from working hard to stop Hitler. But don't you worry Buffy, sweet, darling Buffy. The war is already coming to an end and I'll be home before you know it.
Love forever,
Angel.
***
She read and re-read her letter. She knew that the last sentence was a lie. From anyone else she disregarded such talk as empty-headed optimism. But from Angel, she bought into it entirely.
As she and Willow went to the movies twice a week, Buffy would watch the newsreels with a curious mix of fascination and horror. She would see films of bombed out families in London, Liverpool and Coventry and wonder if one of the people helping them was Angel. She would listen to reports on the wireless about troop movements and wonder if Angel was with them. It always, always came back to Angel.
She continued to receive sporadic letters from Angel and she learned that he was rapidly making his way up the ranks of the army. This worried her. Why did he have to be so good at everything? Why did he have to be a hero? Buffy knew that heroes got killed; cautious soldiers came home. She wanted Angel to come home. Xander wrote to her too: He was using his good grades in science to join the bomb squad, diffusing and otherwise taking care of unexploded bombs and other explosives. She was both proud and utterly horrified.
***
But life went on and so did Buffy. The smile stayed in place as she tried to sell old Mrs Thompson yet more war bonds. The smile stayed in place as she asked for yet more scrap. The smile stayed in place as she worked in the canteen amongst all those soldiers. But at home, the smile disappeared. She could be strong for the boys 'Over There' and she could be strong for all the Sunnydale residents who were just as concerned and scared as she. But she couldn't be strong for herself.
Every night when she returned home was the same. Each night she pulled out her sheaf of letters from Angel and re-read them, hoping against hope that by memorising each of his words, it brought her closer to him.
***
"How was your day, dear?" Joyce would ask each night when her daughter returned from one or another of her activities.
"Fine." Buffy would then automatically answer monotonously. Joyce would talk a little more and would become more and more concerned about Buffy's monosyllabic answers. Then, when she would concede defeat, Buffy would head up the stairs and wouldn't emerge until morning to repeat the facade of living once more.
***
Then, in August 1942, a year after leaving, Xander returned home. He was one of the lucky ones. His bomb squad had been clearing an unexploded bomb near a hospital in Coventry. All was well until it began to rain. Visibility became atrocious, but they carried on regardless. Then, Xander's superior officer slipped in the mud. The bomb was only partly disengaged and went off. Thanks to the efforts of the bomb squad, the bomb didn't destroy the hospital or injure anyone inside. But Xander's superior officer was killed and Xander returned home to California with burns and a broken ankle. For Xander at least, the war was over.
Xander's return made Buffy rest a little easier. He was home safely- his burns would heal and his bones would mend. She found herself calling on a growing number of wives and mothers whose husbands and sons had been killed. She wept with them, for them. She persuaded the Flynn family to set up a fund for war widows and then she campaigned tirelessly for the fund.
***
Life became a routine that she found increasingly easy to handle. She didn't stop thinking of Angel, and her fears didn't lessen. But she found herself able to enjoy her few pleasures in life again- the movies with Willow and Xander, the children at the playgroup. Some, but not all, of the sparkle returned to her eyes and her smile became brighter. She found that she could live without him. She just didn't want to.
***
The news that she had been dreading, the news that kept her awake nights, arrived on September 25th 1942. Angel's mother Mary telephoned the Summers house just as she was about to head out to the canteen. Mrs Flynn sounded strained. Perhaps it was about the tea dance in two weeks time. She leapt into her mother's car, disregarding petrol shortages for the first time since war began- she needed to be at the canteen soon. She raced through Sunnydale and up the hill to the Flynn estate on Crawford Street.
"Hello Buffy, dear." She was surprised to be greeted at the door by Mrs Flynn herself, not Robert the butler. She examined Mrs Flynn's face carefully, but she could only find a little puffiness around her eyes. For the first time, anxiety crept into Buffy's heart.
"What's the matter, Mrs Flynn?" She asked, her voice trembling. She prayed that it was only about the tea dance in two weeks' time. Mrs Flynn took Buffy's arm and led her into the drawing room.
"We received a telegram this morning." Mrs Flynn began. Buffy, her heart pounding wildly, sank into an overstuffed leather chair.
"Angel... He's been reported missing." Mrs Flynn continued. Buffy almost sighed with relief.
"Only missing? So he's not dead?"
"Well... Most of his unit was found dead. The officer I spoke to on the telephone said that his unit was killed, and that they found bodies." Mrs Flynn paused in a rare moment of public emotion.
"Yes?"
"They said that Angel was driving and would have been..."
"I understand." Buffy's heart sank completely before shattering into tiny little pieces. She quickly thanked Mrs Flynn for telling her personally before excusing herself and driving back to Revello Drive in record time.
***
At first, Buffy didn't leave her room. For days Joyce took food up, and her concerned frown morphed into a worried frown as the trays came back untouched. It was, in fact, a full eight days before Buffy emerged from the darkness of her room. It was on the eighth day that a still limping Xander arrived, marched up the stairs and dragged her out into the sunlight.
She was pale, drawn and unbelievably thin after her voluntary starvation. The sun made her eyes sting and water after so long in a room with thick curtains shutting out both day and night.
"Buffy..." Xander began. She stared up at him and in that moment he realised that, no matter how devastated he was at the loss of his best friend, it was infinitesimal compared to how she felt.
"They never found him. Maybe he's still alive." Xander told her softly. He truly believed that Angel would return eventually. He wasn't dead, Xander told himself.
"Maybe." Buffy turned to him. "I always thought I'd know when... But I didn't. I thought it was about the tea dance next week."
"Well, there you go. There's always hope." Xander agreed reassuringly.
"Hope. OK." Buffy said softly. They sat silently for a few moments before Buffy stood up.
"I have to get to the canteen." She said, flashing Xander a bright smile. Sad, but bright. She would pull herself out of this even if it killed her.
***
Buffy resumed her work at the canteen, at the playgroup, selling war bonds. In fact, had the residents of Sunnydale not heard about the town's favourite son, they might have imagined Buffy's weeklong absence to be due to illness of some kind.
They didn't say it, but everyone in Sunnydale understood how much Buffy loved Angel, and how much it must be killing her inside. Everyone noticed how his ring still hung loyally around her neck, like a talisman to ward off evil and sadness.
"Buffy! Over here!" Willow shouted. Buffy was hard at work serving hungry soldiers when her flame haired friend arrived.
"Hi Will!" She called back breathlessly. She smiled sweetly at the soldier before turning her attention to her friend.
"There's a double feature on at the Sun in twenty minutes."
"What's playing?"
"Nothing new. The Adventures of Robin Hood followed by The Philadelphia Story."
"A curious combination."
"I know. Prints of new movies are going to bigger movie theatres first. War on, and all."
"Yeah."
"Will you come?"
"Pass up Errol Flynn and James Stewart? I don't think so!" Buffy grinned. She pulled off her apron and folded it loosely in her arms.
"I was meant to be finished twenty minutes ago anyway."
"I know. I was waiting outside for you."
"Sorry. I lose track of time."
"I know. It's OK." Willow smiled and took her friend's arm. "Xander's foot is getting better."
"He told me." Buffy said. Sensing that she was about become deep in thought, Willow decided to perk her friend up.
"OK, now, who would you choose: Errol Flynn or James Stewart?" She said. Buffy fixed her with a stare which said 'How can you choose?' and then burst into a fit of giggles.
***
They settled into a routine whereby Willow would collect Buffy from the canteen and then they would go to the movies, or to the beauty parlour, or to the park, or to anywhere that Buffy could take her mind off Angel, the war, and life itself.
"Buffy!" Willow called from the doors of the canteen as she did whenever she came for her friend. As always, Buffy hung up her apron and went over to her friend.
"Hey Will."
"Hi Buffy, I want you to meet someone." Willow said, her eyes sparkling. Buffy privately groaned.
For the last couple of weeks, since roughly two months since the telegram came, Willow had been introducing her to all manner of eligible young men. Didn't Willow understand that she only wanted Angel? And since Angel was dead, she didn't want anyone at all.
"This is Captain Finn. He's at Camp Sunnydale." Willow introduced Buffy to a tall, gawky young man with dirty blond hair in a severe crew cut. Clearly this young man was a stickler for regulations. He grinned widely at her, grabbing her hand and shaking it vigorously.
"It's great to meet you Miss Summers! Willow told me all about you!" Buffy managed a weak smile.
"Really? You're a mystery to me." Captain Finn laughed nervously.
"Do you have a first name, Captain?" Buffy asked.
"Uh, yes. Riley. Captain Riley Finn." Buffy just nodded. Willow, sensing that her plan was failing, prompted Riley.
"Riley suggested to me that we all go to the movies."
"Really?" Buffy asked, knowing full well what Willow was suggesting. She glared at her friend, but Willow was oblivious.
"Uh, sure. Why don't we, huh Buffy?" Riley stammered. Buffy sighed heavily.
She could decline, as she had every time previously. But then she would have to endure Willow's pleading, her listing every reason why Buffy should go out with Riley. Then of course, the lecture about moving on. She was completely exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. So, she nodded in agreement.
"Sure." Riley beamed in delight and took Buffy's arm.
***
Quite some time later, Buffy returned home. She had actually had an all right time. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad either. In fact, after some more persuasion from Willow, Buffy had agreed to meet with Riley again on Friday night. A date. A date with someone who wasn't Angel.
As she stared at the smiling, handsome face staring at her from her bedside table, Buffy's heart broke all over again. A couple of tears dropped from her eyes, but she refused to cry again. In that moment, Buffy realised that she had to move on. She realised that her heart would always belong, in its entirety, to Angel. She realised that she would never love anyone like Angel, if she ever loved again at all. But she also realised that she must move on for the sake of her sanity. And she hoped that Angel would forgive her.
***
Some time passed. The ring remained hanging loyally around Buffy's neck, but every Friday night Riley took her to the movies. He took her on long drives through the countryside surrounding Sunnydale, often bringing picnic baskets. He celebrated Christmas that year with the Summers family at Joyce's insistence. He clearly adored Buffy, although she didn't- couldn't- love him as he wanted her to. Riley still didn't know about Angel.
She had told him about her boyfriend who had died in the war, but little else. She couldn't face the Angel talk with Riley, not yet. Perhaps not ever. How was she to tell her supposed boyfriend that she would never love him, and that her love was dead on the battlefields of war torn Europe?
***
Joyce liked Riley- a fine, upstanding citizen, a boy doing his bit for his country, but in no hurry to get himself killed. He was a typical All- American boy from Iowa who called everyone 'Sir' or 'Ma'am'. He was entirely unlike Angel, who was rich, worldly, almost exotic by Sunnydale standards, and of course heroic. And dead.
She had always had her misgivings about Angel and Buffy, especially at the intensity of their relationship right from the start. She was glad Buffy had met a nice young man like Riley who would never break her heart. Of course, what Joyce would never understand was that Riley would never break Buffy's heart because her heart was never his.
***
New Year passed with celebrations, if muted, hoping for peace. But Buffy suspected that 1943 would bring much of the same, pain, death and other atrocities that were a part of war. She watched newsreels and read newspapers. In January 1943 she read that 19 year old girls in Britain, younger than her- 20 that January- would be called up for service.
Still, in many ways, the war remained distant. After all, living in a town as beautiful and peaceful as Sunnydale, how could one dream that in other parts of the world, there were people dying in their hundreds and thousands? Even when, that February, a Japanese submarine shelled the California coast, the war remained distant. In Hollywood, the Academy Awards carried on regardless in March. The patriotic Mrs. Miniver won best picture and its star, Greer Garson went on for five and a half minutes in her best actress speech.
Life went on, but certainly not better. The war was becoming ever more intense in Europe, the Pacific, and in North Africa, the British Eighth Army took Tripoli. But the war was far from won, and Xander knew this better than most people in the town, having seen it himself, and so when his foot healed, he approached Buffy with trepidation.
"I'm going back." He said. They were standing on the boardwalk watching the sun go down after catching a movie.
"What?" She turned on him angrily. He looked down at the floor. It killed him to have yet another man leave her, even if it was just him.
"I'm going back. I'm going to England."
"They made you?" She demanded. He shook his head.
"No. I requested a return to my commission."
"Why?" She screeched, ignoring the group of society matrons who had stopped to wonder why the usually dignified, mature young lady was shouting at the top of her voice.
"They need my help. I need to help."
"Why?" She asked, softly this time.
"I told you."
"You want to be a hero." She said unquestioningly.
"I guess." Xander admitted. Buffy then got angry again.
"Yeah? Well Angel was a hero! And you know what? Angel's dead! Fine, go help people, go save lives, go be a hero! But don't expect me to cry when they bring you back home in a pine box!" She screamed before storming away.
***
The rainy April day that the newly re-uniformed Xander Harris left for England, Buffy refused to see him off, instead choosing to work all day at the munitions factory. Xander gave Willow a letter to give to Buffy, simply telling her that he understood how she felt.
The truth was, and he knew it, that Buffy couldn't bear to say another goodbye, she couldn't risk losing someone else. The relief she had felt seeing him, her best friend, return safely was now replaced once more with fear and dread. He knew that, and only his knowledge of the horrors in Europe made him leave her again. He would never admit it, but leaving his best friends again broke his heart.
***
Buffy began to cling closely to Riley, terrified that he would leave too. If he noticed her changed demeanour, he didn't say anything. In fact, Riley welcomed her new closeness. He had often despaired of the distance she kept herself at and now imagined that she had removed that distance. He grew confident as Buffy spent more and more time with him- almost to the exclusion of everything else. His ego told him that it was because she loved him. It was certainly a flattering concept.
Buffy was, after all, the most popular, well known, beloved young woman in Sunnydale. There had even been light-hearted jokes that Buffy was in the running to be the next Mayor of Sunnydale. And she had chosen him. He wasn't to know that she had chosen him for lack of options, that she clung to him only because she had an almost crippling fear of being abandoned again. He applied to stay at Camp Sunnydale after she asked him to, taking a desk job instead of going off to fight. He imagined that she loved him so much that she wanted him to stay close, but he was mistaken.
***
Time passed and Riley grew more mistaken. He decided that the only thing left to do was to propose marriage to her. He didn't know that another, better man ad once done the same thing, and he certainly didn't know that the ring that still hung on the chain around Buffy's neck was his ring. He didn't know that, in her heart and in her mind, Buffy considered herself to be engaged, even if her fiancé was no longer there.
***