Woohoo my 9th fanfic :3

I dont know if there's already a dgm truth or dare, and i cbf looking, but this idea has been in my head for a while now.

We dare you to run into the cafeteria, wearing only your underpants, stick two chopsticks in your hair and dump soba noodles on Komui's head.

How did this happen? How did this happen to him, Kanda Yuu?

'Why the hell am I doing this crap?' Kanda muttered to himself darkly as he began stripping in the corridor leading to the cafeteria. He could hear his so called teammates laughing their asses off nearby. He gritted his teeth.

They took Mugen. As soon as this is over, I will have the Baka Usagi's head on a plate wearing Moyashi's old man hair.

Getting somewhat grim amusement from the mental picture, he straightened his shoulders, shivering slightly in the cool air.

I am going to regret this.

How did this happen?

'Ne…Allen I'm bored'

'Haven't you had enough fun hiding Komui-san's beret?'

Lavi shot a lazy stare over at his white-haired friend, who was smiling. 'Yeah, but now he's in his office cryin' and he won't come out. What's the point in teasing people if they ain't there to see it?'

Allen chuckled. 'Well then, what do you suggest we do?'

Lavi paused, thinking. A slow, evil grin light up his face, Allen shifted away from him nervously.

'L-Lavi?', he said quietly. 'What are you thinking…?'

'I just thought of a game we could play', Lavi chuckled. 'We'll need more people though'

'Yuu, my love! Do you wanna-?'

'No, Baka Usagi'

'Enough with the damn Japanese, Yuu-poo!', Lavi shouted. 'And you haven't even heard what I'm offering'

Kanda shot a dark-eyed glare at him. 'No'

A small glint of something passed through Lavi's eyes. He gave a dramatic sigh and swayed to his feet, running a hand through his loose red hair. 'Dear me, whatever will happen to this darling sword in my hands?'

Kanda froze mid stride away from Lavi, turning slowly and creakily, eyes wide. 'What…what did you just say?', he croaked. When he saw what Lavi held in his arms he did a 360 degree head spin, giving a mix between a whimper and a groan.

Lavi cradled the anti-akuma weapon Mugen as if it were a newborn child. He was smiling and gazing down at it fondly. 'What a cute pair of earrings you'll make, huh?'

'You', Kanda choked. 'Mugen…how…wh…what?!'

Lavi jumped as if startled, giving an airy laugh. 'Oh, this pretty little thing?', he gestured at Mugen. 'Well, I found it lying in a trash can and decided to adopt it', he paused and pulled a fat white chicken from behind his back. 'And this is Fred! I found him there too!'

Kanda's hands curled into fists. His mouth was opening and closing, but no sound came out. Lavi grinned like the cat that got the cream.

'You want this sword?' he asked with raised eyebrows, waving it through the air. Fred the chicken jumped onto his head, clucking. 'All you have to do is-'

Kanda let out a huge, furious roar and lunged at Lavi. The red-haired Exorcist jumped lithely out of the way, tutting. He landed on Kanda's chair while Kanda ended up tackling Allen, who went down with a yelp. The yelp wavered and echoed around the room as Kanda straddled him, smacking his head repeatedly on the wooden floorboards of his room.

'That's no way to treat your blackmailer, Yuu-chan', Lavi told him chidingly. Kanda did another head spin, steam rushing out of his nose and ears. 'Now sit and listen'

'Give. It. Back', Kanda hissed, eye twitching. 'I have dealt with your crap longer than anyone else, but now you draw the line, Baka Usagi'

Lavi dodged Kanda's second dive towards him easily, Fred the chicken clucking disdainfully as he was ruffled from his perch. 'Allen! Hold him down or something!'

Allen was dazed from having head repeatedly smacked against the floor, and staggered to his feet, squinting at Kanda. He scowled. 'Crown Clown!' he shouted. After a few seconds of silvery-white light, Allen had Kanda wrapped up in the tattered white cloak. The blue-haired Exorcist couldn't move any body part other than his head, but still squirmed, face bright red with anger, eyes narrowed to cat-like slits which were focused on Lavi.

Lavi hopped down from Kanda's bed, making his way slowly over to Kanda, tossing Mugen up in the air and catching it with ease. He stopped in front of Kanda, smiling.

'Here's the deal', he announced. 'You're gonna play a little game with me, Allen and some others when I get them'

'What freakin' game?', Kanda snarled.

Lavi smirked, obviously waiting for the question. 'You'll see, Yuu', he swung Mugen tantalizingly by the hilt in front of Kanda's face. 'Do we have a deal, Yuu-chan?'

'I hate you'

'I'll take that as a yes'

And so here he was, wearing dark blue boxer shorts, arms over his chest, scowl etched onto his face without any sign of moving.

'Go sexy Yuu-poo!', Lavi called. Laughter followed. Kanda shot him his best and worst glare that clearly wished him to die a painful death. Lavi grinned in response.

The group of devils watching him consisted of Lavi, Allen, Lenalee, Miranda, Krory, Reever, Johnny and Chaoji.

Komui was sobbing into Jerry's shoulder. The violet-haired god of food was patting him on the shoulder, also crying for no apparent reason.

'M-m-m-m-y b-beret is g-gone and so is L-L-Lenaleeeee!', Komui shrieked, bawling a second later. Jerry nodded in sympathy.

I do not believe this. I will never get Jerry's soba again if I do this…

But out of the corner of his eye he saw Lavi waving a cardboard sign that showed Allen spearing mitarashi dango with Mugen.

Growling, Kanda crunched up the piece of paper. Without any more hesitation, he bolted down the corridor, Lavi, Allen, Lenalee and Reever's cheering clearly audible. He burst through the now open cafeteria double doors, not pausing to listen to the surprised and affronted gasps and return the staring.

He skidded past the long counter, snatching up a pair of yellow chopsticks and a soba container without breaking stride. He jumped on a table, up over the heads of a few startled finders. Komui hadn't noticed him yet. Grimacing, he shoved the chopsticks through his dark hair, where they remained suspended like two antennae.

He could feel his face burning, but passed it off as anger rather than embarrassment. After sliding under the entwined arms of two white-robed people and landed hands first on a table, flipping off it and landing in a half crouch before leaping up again, above Komui's head, brandishing the soba container.

The noodles slid down the Chief's head with a loud squelching sound. Jerry leapt away from Komui with a shriek, hands clasped to his face in horror. Kanda felt a small flare of triumph as he skid to a stop beside Komui.

The triumph was short lived as he was suddenly lifted in the air, hands suspended by his sides. Squirming, he turned, eyes widening.

'Even if I deserved it for something, you shouldn't have done that, Kanda-kun', Komui's voice was low and deadly, similar to the tone he used around Bak Chan concerning Lenalee. 'Do you think after two similar incidents I wouldn't have protection?'

'A-Another Komurin?!', Kanda whispered, scowling. 'Komui, tell your robot to let me go'

Komui turned, soba noodles slipping off his head. He gave low, dark chuckle. 'I don't think so, Kanda-kun. You will pay for that. And you will return my beret'

'I don't have your damn beret!'

'That's what they all say'

Kanda did some creative swearing in full volume Japanese, followed by a single name.

'BA~KA USAGI~!'

Use your imagination to imgaine what Komui would do to him XD (Ahem ahem...;3)

If you have any ideas for chapter 2 or any ideas of how i can torture the cute little Exorcists, leave a review or PM me XD

till next time,

-Lazyllama-