The wind was bitter and rough, tearing the sweet essence of air and her virginity. The pond was frozen and giving off a soft blue light from the full moon above us. The trees bare witness to the horrific scene before us. As a small boy with blonde hair, tear-filled blue eyes, and a beaten scrawny body lay on the frozen ground. An innocent naive little boy caught by the pure evil of man, was drowning in fear. His eyes were open with barely a blink, and his lips moving making a barely audible sound. He was whispering to himself, "Please don't touch me, I'll be good. Please don't touch me, I'll be good..." Stan stood there in shock, not knowing what to do. I don't blame him I stood there in disbelief, trying to wake myself up. Then Kenny woke me up with a frightful face, screaming at us, "What happened?!" Kenny sprinted towards Butters trying to steady his balance on the ice coated path. "Butters, Butters what happened!?" Butters slowly lifted his head up to Kenny and started to cry even more. Not once did he stop whispering. Silence took over as we had come to the horrible realization. Butters had been raped.

Chapter 1: First Day of School

Beep! Beep! Beep! Click. I woke up groggy but after a few seconds I opened my eyes to my blue ceiling and realized today was my first day of senior year. "Oh boy, Butters, today is your the start of your last year, and-and this year I will be me." Leopold 'Butters' Stotch is my name, but everyone calls me Butters. I have grown up a lot since elementary and middle school. As a senior in high school I may be a little on the small side but, I'm different now. My stutter is mostly gone, I have a job as a waiter at Bennigan's, and this year will be the year that I show my true self. You see I've always listened to everyone around me. I always did what I was supposed to and did what everyone told me to do. Well today, that's not going to happen. Also, today is a big day because this is the day I tell my parents about Kenny. Yes Kenny McCormick. You see he's my boyfriend. We've been dating since 9th grade but, we haven't told anyone at all, even our friends. But, we promised that if we were still together by the first day of senior year, we would come out together. And, we've made it! Oh I'm so excited.

After going through my closet, I finally found the box I was looking for. I've been waiting to open this box and wear my girl clothes since I bought them last month. I had to sneak it in, but now my parents will know. I decided to wear a cute Hello Kitty tank top with a cute frilly pink skirt and pink converse. Pink is my absolute favorite color, why it's just so cute. I went into the bathroom and did my make-up nice and simple. I had baby pink eye shadow on my eyelid, some mascara, a little tint of blush, and sparkly pink lip gloss to finish it off. I was nervous to go down my staircase but, I told myself over and over, I can do it. I put on a pink sweat jacket with a blue heart zipper, and I put a pink glittery bow in my blonde hair. I looked myself over and over again to make sure I was ok. My knee high socks felt weird, but new so I welcomed the feeling. They were baby pink and hot pink striped with a white bow on the top of each one. I looked adorable, I felt nervous and giddy, but I was ready.

As I descended down the stairs I could smell the aroma of buttermilk pancakes, crispy bacon, and freshly brewed coffee. I could hear my mother humming to herself as she cooked, and my father turning the pages of the newspaper he was reading. What should I do? Should I bring their attention to me? Should I sneak out the front door and wait until the afternoon? Or should I act like nothing is wrong or different at all? I felt like I was going to be sick. "Butters," my mom called my name with her sweet voice. "Come down and eat some breakfast sweetie." "O-Ok mom," I held my breath and took a step into the kitchen. "Butters," I opened my eyes to my mom and dad staring at me with confusion. "Butters, what's the matter?" I didn't realize it but I managed to let out a few tears. I wasn't prepared at all. "I-I nee-need t-to tell you something mo-mom and dad," I was stuttering like crazy. "Well what is it?" My mom seemed worried so I took a deep breath, scrunched my eyes closed, and said it all out loud. "ME AND KENNY HAVE BEEN GOING OUT FOR THREE YEARS, AND I LIKE DRESSING LIKE A GIRL, AND SINCE IT'S MY LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL I DECIDED TO BE MYSELF THIS YEAR. AND I WAS AFRAID TO TELL YOU SOONER SO I KEPT IT A SECRET!" After I had spat it all out I felt relieved. I was afraid to open my eyes so I kept them closed. I heard footsteps walk towards me, I was preparing myself for the worst, but instead I felt warm arms wrap around me tightly. I opened them to see my dad hugging me, and my mom smiling next to me. Then they began to laugh. I don't know what they were laughing about though, I was standing here crying and scared, and they were laughing. "Wh-what's so funny?" My dad pulled away laughing. I was a little annoyed but, relaxed at the sound of laughing instead of yelling. "We already know. Haha," my dad giggled. "What?" Maybe I heard him wrong. "We already know you are dating Kenny, and if you like to dress like a girl it's fine," "Re-really?" "Yes, Butters," My mom was reassuring so I didn't ask them a million questions. "Wait, so how did you find out? How did you know I was dating Kenny?" My Dad was giving me a genuine smile, as my mom began to speak. "We got a call from Kenny last night. He told us everything, he said he felt like he needed to tell us first for our O.K. He was worried sick about you, so I went upstairs to give you the phone, but you were already asleep." "Kenny told you guys?" "I'm sorry if we caught you off guard, it's not Kenny's fault he sounded just like you a minute ago." "Yeah, honestly I thought he was more shaken up then you," My dad stopped me from asking anything else, and told me to eat my breakfast, so I did. Before I grabbed my orange book bag and went out the door, my mom handed me a small mirror and told me to fix my make-up before I left. I had small black tear stains down my cheeks so I washed up in the bathroom and fixed it.

Kenny and I had decided to ride to school together, so I pulled out of my driveway and headed straight to Kenny's house. When I arrived, Kenny was waiting there in a black sweatshirt, ripped jeans, and converse with a brown book bag slung around his shoulder. His blonde hair was scraggly and messy, just the way I like it. He go in the car and gave me a huge wet kiss and pulled away to observe my outfit. He smiled and pulled me into an embrace. "You look adorable today sweetie," I blushed furiously and couldn't keep away a smile. I love when he flatters me. "Why thank you Ken, so you-you told my parents last night?" "I sure did, I have never been so nervous in my life," "Why did you want to tell them and not let me?" "Did you want to tell them?" "I guess so, but no at the sa-same time, I was scared at what they would think," "Well, I told them because if they didn't agree with it I would come over and take you away right then and there. But they agreed, and I have never felt so relieved, they lifted a weight off my shoulders I'll tell you that." I hooked my arm around his neck and pulled him in to a deep kiss before driving off. "Thank you Ken," "Your welcome, buttercup," There he goes again, making me turn into a cherry. We drove to school listening to Air Supply and Kenny singing to every word of every song. "I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you..." He sang out loud to me. When I pulled into the parking lot and shut the engine off he continued to sing, "I'm all out of love. What am I without you, I know you were right..." "Alright Ken, we're here." "So long, wha-what?" He looked at me with his goofy grin and deep blue eyes. "We're here Ken," "Oh haha, are you ready?" "I'm worried, but excited," "Don't be. Do you? Never mind," "What Ken?" "Do you want to umm, hold hands?" He looked at me with an unsure expression, and he seemed a little embarrassed." "Of course," I sounded a little too excited, but I was excited. The two of us coming out would give us a chance to sit and eat lunch with each other, hold hands in public, kiss each other good morning in homeroom, and go to school dances. I was excited for Homecoming even though it was all the way in November.

Kenny got out of the car and when I was about to open the car door he slammed it shut. "Kenny?" "Ladies don't open their own doors," I started to giggle, when Kenny opened the door for me. He grabbed my hand and led me out like a princess. "You don't have to do that Ken," "Oh, but I have too, today you are my princess or if you prefer little pink prince," "Haha, Kenny stop it, your embarrassing me." I started to blush again when he wrapped me in an embrace and leaned me onto my Cadillac and kissed me again. Our fellow classmates were eyeing us as they passed by to walk into the main doors. Some looked at us with disgust, and some looked at us with awe. When Kenny pulled away I chuckled a little, and grabbed his hand. We walked hand-in-hand through the hallways with Kenny telling me a story about how when he was a kid he was afraid of the lockers because they always killed him over and over again. I felt bad because I wasn't paying attention to his story but, rather the schedule in my hand. I had homeroom with Mr. Hanover and so did Kenny. For math, health, and science Kenny was also in my class, but English, Spanish, and history he was not. We shared the same lunch, so we would be able to sit next to each other like we hoped. That brought a lot of happiness to me. "Hey babe, is it ok if I talk to Stan and Kyle real quick?" "Sure, I'll g-go to my locker," He smiled and gave me a peck on the lips, then ran towards his friends down the hall. I started to scan the lockers down the hall to find my locker. "D-45, D-46, D-47, D-48 aha," Slam! Stinging pain was coming from my forehead. I spun around to see Clyde Donovan in front of me. "I knew you were a faggot," Clyde spat the words in my face. I was scared I didn't want to get beat, not on my first day! "I-I-I," "I-I-I I thought you didn't have a stutter anymore?" He put his arm above my head on the locker, and leaned in close, I just wanted to run away. "You know what happens to butt pirates like you?" I couldn't breathe his breath was rotten, and he had fire dancing in his eyes. Clyde was never a nice kid, at least not to me. Whack! My eye started to tear up as the temple of my head started to sting. I squinted my eyes shut getting ready for another punch when I heard a scream. "Aaaah, Get off me!" I opened my eyes to Kenny punching Clyde over and over again on the floor helplessly. "Kenny, Kenny! Stop it! He's had enough!" Stan was pulling Kenny off, with help from Kyle. "Dude, what's the matter?" "What's the matter?! He was about to beat the shit out of Butters!" Clyde scurried away. "Dude, why do you care?" "Excuse me?" Uh-oh he didn't tell Stan and Kyle yet. Maybe he didn't get a chance to yet. Oh god I did this, if I wasn't such a screw up Kenny wouldn't be going through this. Without realizing it I started to cry, not for me, but for Kenny. "Oh no, no Butters its ok don't cry. Don't cry you'll mess up your make-up." He gave me a reassuring smile. After wiping away my tears he walked over to the guys and began to speak. They seemed confused. "Stan, Kyle, Cartman..." Cartman? I looked behind Kyle to see Cartman standing there with a smirk on his face, I didn't even see him. I think he was enjoying this scene too much. Ring! Oh no, now I'm going to be late on the first day too. This wasn't the greatest start of the school year. "Before I was interrupted by that asshole, I was going to tell you that Butters," He walked over to me and put his arm around my shoulder puling me in close, protecting me. "...is my boyfriend," The guys had an even more confused expression, they looked like they were about to start laughing when Cartman spoke up. "Psh, if your going to pull off a joke you could've at least made it funnier then that Kenny," Kenny tensed up over me, he gave them a scowl then dove down and gave me a huge kiss. When he pulled away I could see Stan and Kyle's expression was of shock. Cartman just seemed amused. "Now if you'll excuse me. Me and my BOYFRIEND will be going to homeroom now," He felt the need to emphasize boyfriend before giving them a hard glare and turning his back on them. He took a hold of my hand and walked me to homeroom. He was rushing and seemed harsh, but his grip on me was gentle.

Besides being late to homeroom, the rest of the day was ok. I knew I was getting a black eye throughout the day, but it didn't bother me as much as I'd thought. History went by slow and boring as it usually does every year. Second period however, went by too fast for my taste, because Kenny was next to me. When the teacher wasn't talking Kenny and I were passing notes about what we were going to do after school. 'You want to go to the pond? – Ken' 'Sure, maybe we can finish that carving. –Buttercup' He gave me a wink and I blushed. The bell rang for third period and Stan, Kyle, and Eric were in our math class. Kenny and I sat in the back of the room so we could sit next to each other without people staring at us. Kenny told me it doesn't bother him that they're out, but that people staring at you while you're trying to do work is impossible. "So after school I have to go to work, but afterwards we can go to the pond for a picnic," "That sounds great, can you pick up some cheeseburgers from work?" "Yeah, they won't mind, actually they," I stopped talking when I saw Stan and Kyle walk over to our desks. Kenny turned around wondering why I had stopped and saw the two sit down right in front of us. They turned around and gave us a smile. "What?" Kenny seemed frustrated. "We wanted to apologize," "Yeah" As always Kyle was taking the lead and speaking for the both of them. "We thought you were kidding but, umm you're not," "Yeah dude if your gay, you're gay, and Butters isn't that bad of catch either," I guess Stan didn't mean for that to slip out because, he began to turn red as a tomato. Kenny giggled, that was a good sign. "Thanks guys, hey you guys want to come with us to the pond later? Butter is bring some cheeseburgers from work," "Really? Butters I didn't know you had a job," Kyle seemed interested about my life all of a sudden. It made me happy to know that I could be their friend soon too. "Yeah, I've been working at Bennigan's for two years now as a waiter." "Alright class, take your seats. I am Ms. Dickson. I will be your math teacher for this year..." Blah blah blah, when teachers talk it really bugs me especially when Kenny is sitting right there. Well we only have 45 minutes, it will go by quickly.

Ring! That was the longest class ever! She talked the entire time. If she had given us an assignment of some kind, it would have gone by a lot faster. For me at least, I don't know about the other guys. It was time for lunch, finally because I was hungry. I might act like a girl, but that doesn't mean I can't eat like a boy. I love food and I can say the same for Kenny and the other guys. All math class I couldn't help but wonder where Cartman was though. I know he was in that class, when she was calling out attendance she called his name, but he wasn't there. He probably skipped class. He does that sometimes especially during math and English. I guess I didn't expect him to skip on the first day. Maybe we will see him at lunch, I hope we don't but if something happened then I'd feel bad. I would never wish evil on anyone even if it's people like Eric Cartman. On our way to lunch Stan and Kyle seemed to be close, not too close but close enough to get me and Kenny's attention. Maybe they were special friends or maybe they had a secret. I think Kenny was thinking the same thing because he looked at me with a look that I knew meant something was up. We walked into the busy lunch room and decided to sit at an empty lunch table next to the empty aisle that led to the lunch booth. After Kenny and I got our lunches we met up with Kyle and Stan bracing ourselves for a million questions. "Hey guys," "He-Hello Kyle," We sat across from Stan and Kyle, Kenny insisted that I sit in his lap so I did. "So how long have you guys been going out?" Kyle seemed relieved almost when he asked the question. "Well we've been going out for three years now," Stan shot up from stuffing his mouth with mashed potatoes, "Really!?" "We-well we were going to te-tell you guys sooner bu-but, I was afraid of wh-what you guys would think about Kenny," "Well why were on the subject I think we can trust you guys to know that-" "Hey asshole!" We all turned to see Clyde staring at Kenny with a bruise on the side of his face. Token, Tweek, and Craig were standing beside him. Kenny gently pushed me off his lap and stood up, he looked agitated. "Kenny now calm down, just ignore him," Kenny looked at me with understanding in his eyes and sat beside me. "Oh no, you're going to pay for what you did get'em boys," Without hesitation Token and Craig came up behind us and pulled Kenny out of his seat and dragged to the middle of the floor and began to kick him. I shot up out of my seat. No way was I going to stand by and let them hurt Kenny. "Hey leave him alone," Just as quickly as this morning, I was on the ground crying after another throw to the face. I was being held down by Tweek who was threatening to break my neck if I so much as twitched. I watched Kenny helplessly as they picked him up by his shoulders. He was exasperated and couldn't breathe Kyle and Stan were trying so helplessly to pull them off of Kenny but, they were stronger then them. They were on the football team. "Craig! Get off him!" Stan was yelling and tugging on Craig's shoulder almost dangling off of him, but Craig wasn't moving an inch. Kyle was pulling on Token when he elbowed Kyle in the stomach and he fell to the ground. The cafeteria watched some chanted, some looked horrified, and others didn't care. "Kenny!" My voice was hoarse from Tweak holding on to my throat just barely enough for me to breath. "Kenny! Get off him!" I tried and tried but, yelling didn't help. Tears ran down my face as I screamed for them to get off of him. Wham! I could hear the cafeteria doors slam open. Everyone stopped except for the boys punching Kenny until one of them was flying across the floor and another was on the ground with a bloodied nose. Tweek pushed off me and ran out the door, and I used all my strength to get up off the ground and run to Kenny. "And, don't you ever put a hand on either one of them again or I will kill you!" I turned around to see a large boy in a Screwdriver T-Shirt holding Clyde by the collar of his shirt. He threw him down and turned around and knelt down next to Kenny. It was Eric Cartman.

I've been sitting in the Nurse's office for an hour and Kenny still hasn't woken up. He looked like a lost and hurt puppy lying there with a white blanket on him, and bruises allover. We can forget all about the picnic date, it's not important. Until Kenny feels better I'm not leaving this spot. The bell rang for fifth period, English. "Is he awake yet?" "Ah! Oh, uh, no," I was startled by the boy who saved my boyfriend's very life. "Thank you Eric," "Don't thank me," He looked at me with tired eyes. His hands were wrapped in bandages from punching Craig and Token so hard. "Ar-are you ok?" I gestured to his hands and he smiled. "Battle scars are always ok, so how are you?" He walked over and sat in the blue chair next to the foot of Kenny's bed while I sat next to his sleeping head. "I-I've been ok, I'm worried about Kenny though," "I bet you are," A deafening silence came between us for a few minutes before he spoke again. "I'm going to protect Kenny," I looked at him with a puzzling look. "I mean he's my friend, not only is he my only friend, but he's my best friend, even is he doesn't know it," He looked at Kenny with a sympathetic expression that I've only seen Eric make when something happens with his mother. "He's not your only friend," I got up and walked over to him making sure he was aware. He looked up at me with expressionless brown eyes with a glint of happiness. I think he was trying to cover it up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a huge hug. He didn't hug back. "You have always been my friend, and I'll always be your friend," "Why?" he threw me off guard. I pulled away and sat back down in my seat and gave him a concerned look. "Why am I your friend? I have always been terrible to you," That is true he has always been to me and has always done terrible things to me. "I guess I'm your fr-friend because, I am the only one besides Kenny, who see the goodness in you. You have a good side, you just show it in such sm-small ways that no one else notices," "I'm not a good person," He stood up gave Kenny a small pat on the shoulder and left the room without another word. I felt bad for him. It was rare occasions like these that I saw the real Eric Cartman. Hopefully, he'll see what Kenny and I see soon.

When Kenny woke up the nurse gave both of us notes for us to leave the school, Kenny needed rest, but he had no one to pick him up. His mom was working and his dad doesn't have a car. I supported him with my shoulder and carried him out to my car. I called out of work for the day before starting the engine and heading straight to my house. I wasn't going to leave Kenny in this condition at his house. He had barely any food and the water was full of rust. I'm surprised he's as healthy as he is aside from his new injuries. When I pulled into the driveway my mother was taking groceries into the house, when she came out the door to find me carrying Kenny up the driveway with a black eye she forgot everything she was doing and ran over to us. "What happened?" she shouted, "Well mo-mom, one of the kids at school and his friends beat up Kenny, I tried t-to stop them but they just kept at it," "Oh dear, here let me help," She grabbed Kenny and brought him inside while I brought in the rest of the groceries. After putting all the groceries away, I walked into the living room to see Kenny lying down with an ice pack on the side of his face. My mother put a pink quilt she had made over him and told him to rest while she made dinner. She went into the kitchen to make supper, while I sat on the floor beside Kenny watching television.

When I was finished washing the dinner dishes, I told my mom that Kenny is going to spend the night here and that I would go over to his house and pick up some new clothes. She agreed and brought him upstairs to lie on my bed. She was very lenient when it came to my relationships so having a girl, or a boy, in my bed was never a problem. I am very grateful for that. My dad would have a problem with it when he came home from work, but for now I was excited. I drove over to Kenny's and told his mother what had happened, she understood why it was better for him to stay at his house and allowed me to come in and grab some clothes for him. I knew he was going to be at my house for a few days so I packed a duffle bag with pajamas, shirts, jeans, and enough underwear and socks. I even packed his picture of him and his sister at Super Phun Thyme, and his toothbrush. When I got everything I needed I said goodbye to everyone and told Karen that she can come over to see Kenny if she gets worried. I left for home feeling content with myself. When I got home, I went upstairs and got a shower, put my pajamas on, brushed my teeth, put Kenny's things in my room, and slid under my covers. I thought Kenny was already sleeping, until he wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on the top of my head. I smiled and hugged him back. He kissed the top of my head and whispered, "I love you," I smiled a huge smile and kissed his hand before whispering back, "I love you, too Ken," and with that we both closed our eyes and fell asleep in each other's arms.