I don't own a thing, not that you didnt all already know that... if I did I would be busy doing everything possible to stop RENT from closing.

This is just a random plot bunny that popped into my head... dont hate me, I allready hate myself for writing this... Any type of reviews welcome but try and keep the abuse aimed at me to PG and I don't care about the abuse aimed at any of the characters in the story.

"Angel… we need to talk

"Angel… we need to talk." Collins asked.

Angel knew this was coming, ever since Angel got out of hospital, ever since he got better.

"We do?" Angel asked casually.

"Yeah Angel… I can't handle this anymore. I can't handle worrying about you. I love you too much for my own good."

Angel heart beat too rapidly, he couldn't get enough air, tears welled up in his eyes. You will not cry in front of him. You will be strong and you will not loose your dignity, not today. His hands balled into fists at his side.

"So I think maybe…"

Angel couldn't take it. "No!" He shouted, maybe too loud, he couldn't tell and didn't care, he couldn't let this happen. "Thomas B. Collins, you are not doing this to me! You are not! You are the reason I made it through, you are the reason I am still alive. You said you loved me. You promised me forever. And now what? You're a little stressed and won't even let me have a year with you? You will not do this to me. I'm sorry I stressed you out, I really am. I would have rather not gotten sick you know? I would have rather spent those months drumming and smiling and seeing happy, well people. But no. I had to get sick. AIDS took months of my life, AIDS took too many of my friends and now its going to be the reason I loose my only love? My first, true love? No. I don't know where I would be without you. Who I would be without you. Without you I have nothing to live for."

"Angel…" Collins tried to reason with him, but was cut off.

"No Collins, you know what? My life was bad and getting worse, I had been abandoned by my family, my friends were dying all around me, my best friend ever was doing drugs and had AIDS. But then I met you and I could be happy. It sounds corny but… it was like the sun had broken free of a storm and I really felt like it was all going to get better." Angel was speaking too quickly, trying to get out all the words in his head. His voice had faded to a whisper. "I love you. I need you."

Collins was on his feet, angel walked forward and put his arms around the anarchist's shoulders. "I love you." Angel said again, into his lover's chest.

"Angel… I love you. More than I can put into words. You're my everything."

"And you will always be mine." Angel said a hint of annoyance in his words.

Collins continued as if Angel had never said a word. "But when you got sick I realised something. I can't live without you. I don't know how. And I think I need to. These past few months have showed me that anything can happen and it can happen too quickly. I need you. But that's why I have to go."

Angel didn't move.

"Angel?" Collins asked.

Angel's breathing got heavy and he began to shake. "You can't go… I can't live without you. How can you… leave? After all I told you? I love you…" Angel began to sob as Collins sat him down on the couch, grabbed his bag and walk out the door.

Angel cried until he couldn't cry anymore, he felt empty and his chest felt like there was something missing. He stared at the door, waiting for Collins to come back. The shadows in the room moved slowly and it felt like time was almost at a stand still. The early morning sun streamed through the window and the phone rang. Angel didn't move, didn't make any attempt to get it. If he moved it would all come crashing down.

Angel didn't know how much longer he sat there, day became night and day again and it all became a blur.

A knock on the door. It opened a crack and Mimi walked in wrapping her arms around Angel as he finally broke down.

hanks for reading... review and if ya'll like it I will continue...

Kisses. And I didnt have time to edit this so if there is a mistake feel freeto point it out... I will fix it soon enough!