Hi Hi! Wisteria here.

Yes, I changed it again.

Also, I've gotten an AO3 account with the same name, but I haven't posted much there.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

Boring.

So. Boring.

Honestly, time is nothing but a monotonous march towards the eventuality of our demise. Days, blended together, spur on feelings of helplessness, unable to escape the cycle of average lives-

Good grief, get out of the doorway.

Although my brother would disagree with a sentiment like that.

Couldn't you just teleport in front of me?

That would expose me. Anyone can see it from the street.

Whatever.

I walk towards the gate while my brother closed the door.

It was a mild day, one with clear skies and a breeze slightly on the chilly side. The sun had only ascended above the horizon, promising neither a hot nor cold day. The chatter on the streets was comprised of early commuters and students.

In short, an average spring day.

We walked to the school in silence. It's not that there was nothing to say, but the fact that my brother would stay at the bottom of the ocean for the peace and quiet kind of kills small talk. I'd rather have him around in case I ever need an alibi.

...

Who am I kidding, he's terrible at it.

Oi.

Well, you are.

The auditorium had started to organize itself into rows as people trickled in. Many yawned, others groaned, and a select few had already died of boredom.

It didn't help that the speakers droned on about something something springtime of life something.

I wasn't paying attention. When some guy collapsed behind me, I didn't notice. Even when some other guy started making a commotion, I didn't turn around.

At that point, I had already transcended beyond mere boredom; I reached peak unawareness, almost like an out of body experience—

Wait. Out of body experience?

I look down and was greeted by the sight of my collapsed body.

Oh.

Okay, in case you were confused about my existence, here's some exposition.

(It's okay. I, too, ponder my existence from time to time).

As to my knowledge right now, there are two espers in this universe.

One is my brother, Saiki Kusuo, who is currently carrying my soulless body to the infirmary.

And the other?

I'm Saiki Kumiko, his twin sister. Nice to meet you.

Returning to the present, I'm currently following him from behind through astral projection that I had accidentally enabled during the assembly.

Astral projection is useful in many cases: getting out of awkward conversations, minimizing the effects of motion-sickness during long trips, and relieving boredom.

However, with all the blessings it gives, there is a curse as well.

A curse that will manifest itself once I get back into my body.

Which I did. I like being able to eat.

Opening my eyes, I immediately felt intense vertigo.

Huuuuuuurgh.

I was on a bed, which didn't make it worse, but it didn't make it better. I covered my eyes, taking deep breaths as nausea crept up my stomach and the world spun.

"Bwuuuuuuh..."

I am cursed with five minutes of vertigo after entering my body after astral projection. Add on the fact that I get motion sickness easily, and it becomes five minutes of inescapable hell.

Once an eternity had passed, or at least in my mind, the dizziness subsided. I was still feeling queasy, but it would fade.

Kusuo, on the other hand, had disappeared.

"Eh?"

The sound of an ambulance drew my attention to the window, where I saw him get carted off with the other guy by his side.

Oh wow, you've already made a friend. I'm so proud of you!

Shut up.

My mom was out when I arrived home. Since Kusuo was at the hospital for who-knows-what, it was rather quiet.

Not that I mind.

Might as well clean the house.

The house wasn't that dirty, there were just some dust spots that needed to be dusted.

And finding any bugs.

Personally, I'm impartial to insects, but I know Kusuo detests them with a passion. Every so often, I'm tempted to sneak a few in his room, but after the Great Destruction of Kaeru-chan, I've refrained from doing so.

There's one.

Catching it with psychokinesis, I pondered what to do with it. Usually, I just throw it outside, but today I was in a bit of an experimental mood.

Question: Can a cockroach survive the escape velocity?

One small fireball and a disintegrated cockroach later, I found my answer.

I mean, I was expecting that.

What I didn't expect was the bug ash falling on a certain pink-haired person.

Oops.

…

I hope he doesn't find out.

Find out what?

Oh f-

There are some powers that we share.

One that doesn't happen to be one is telepathy.

Other than a twin-bond thingy (which allows us to send thoughts and/or senses to each other, accidentally or otherwise), I don't possess the power to read people's minds.

Despite that, Kusuo can't read my mind, because apparently esper twin-bonds sort of count as telepathy, which makes it so that I'm technically telepathic and Kusuo can't read other telepaths.

I don't really understand the rule. It's not like there is an abundance of espers to study it, let alone esper twins.

Quit stalling and tell me what that was.

Should I lie? No, the aftermath isn't worth it. We were in the house, and I wasn't in the mood to repair the neighborhood.

"Well, I was just cleaning the house and then I found some bugs a-"

-aaand he's gone.

Oh well. Saves me from having to explain it.

Reviews are welcome.