#include disclaimer.h
Life was good on the ship: I liked the new one a lot and we became real good buddies. We had to work together often since Phoenix was an electronics-wizard. Sometimes we spent half a night working together on hard- and software, being perfect matches for each other's abilities.
Slowly but surely things developed: I realized that what I felt was more than friendship. Once or twice Arrow kicked my shin in the mess to stop my reverie at the table. I kept it for myself, although this was not an easy task for someone who hardly ever had hidden his feelings before.
But Phoenix was a matrix-born and I knew they had sometimes strange ideas, many of them were homophobic and I didn't want to risk to lose his friendship due to nothing.
When we were working I sometimes got lost watching his hands. He has those sensitive hands artists often have: slim, dry with long fingers. Nevertheless they are strong. Delicious!
I started to dream about him. And my dreams were far from being decent. Before I knew what happened I had to admit I had a crush on Phoenix, if not more.
Damn!
I trapped myself stealing: when I patted his shoulder, like we all did from time to time, I let my hand linger for a split-second. One night I realized what I was doing: I was stealing something that was not meant for me. I felt guilty. So, in the middle of a sleepless night I decided I had to change my behavior.
I could not go on torturing me like this and I had to take care I would not do something silly. Better to be his friend than to make him hate me.
I kept distance. Not easy on such a small ship. I reduced contact to the minimum. This came really hard on me! I have always been someone who needed the warmth of physical contact like air and water. This had nothing to do with sexuality, it was simply that I took reassurance and comfort from those hugs and little touches from all my friends.
It wasn't really a miracle that Phoenix cornered me after two weeks, asking me what was wrong.
"Nothing. Everything's fine, Phoenix." I couldn't look him in the eye, I was afraid of what I might reveal to him.
"You shun me!" he sounded.sad? Angry?
"Phoenix."
"Eagle, did I say anything that offended or hurt you?"
"No. It's not your fault. It's my mistake, I'm sorry." I tried to get away but he wouldn't let me go.
"That makes no sense at all! I want to know what happened!"
"I just can't bear to be so close to you." I bit my lip and looked down on the ground.
"Am I dirty? Stinky? Do I have a bad breath?" he was completely puzzled.
"No! You are - perfect; it's just - ", I scratched my head, "I am gay."
"So?" his voice was so cold, it scared me
"And I like you. A lot. And I didn't want to offend you by doing something stupid. I thought the best thing would be to keep some distance." I was sick, there was a cold lump forming in my stomach. I had heard stories and readied myself for being cussed out.
"Look at me, Eagle!" I couldn't, "Damn, you Eagle! Look at me!" how should I resist this voice? I complied and instantly my knees grew weak: he was just too close.
"You could have talked this over with me." Phoenix was angry, but at least he didn't call me names, "If this was about our friendship, you had the damned duty to tell me!"
"What difference would that have made? Why should I cause a fuss about something that could be settled in silence just as well?"
"Because - you may have not noticed that - friendship is not one-sided, man!" I could see his jaws work.
"I don't need you to tell me that, Phoenix! But this was one-sided. To put it plain: why should I torture myself craving for you if there was NO way to satisfy my want, ey? For my own sake I had to gain distance!"
"You are such an arrogant idiot." Phoenix's voice was soft and he shook his head, "Why didn't you tell me? How can you be so arrogant and think this could never be mutual?" he put his hand on my shoulder and let his thumb brush my throat. Instantly my body was covered with Goosebumps, my heart skipped a beat.
What was he saying? That he liked me? Even wanted me? Gracious Lord! His hand slipped up my throat until it met my jawbone and this time his thumb brushed my lips.I shivered, a twinge shot through my body, aiming south where I felt the heat gather in my groin.
"Silly!" Phoenix whispered, his face moving nearer.
"Phoenix." I tried to steady myself against the wall.
When our lips met it was like an electroshock! I let my tongue dart out only to find his lips part for me more than willingly. He tasted so good. my nostrils were filled with his scent and through the blood that thundered in my ears I heard him moan softly. We pressed our bodies against each other, our arms kept us in a tight embrace.
When we broke the kiss, Phoenix pressed his face against the nape of my neck, whispering:
"I can't believe what is happening here!"
"Phoenix." I whispered his name; I had lost reason and actually was not able to say anything sensible. I reveled in the sensation to have him here in my arms.
"I have never done anything like this, Eagle. But it just feels good." He shivered. I bowed my head to kiss his neck. I could see the Goosebumps rise and heard him catch a sharp breath. I was so afraid he could retreat and excuse and feel ashamed for his 'unnatural' actions.
"Phoenix, understand that this is OK. As long as those involved agree, everything is OK!" I told him softly, still holding him tight but I would not try hold him back, my hands were gently caressing his back. It was up to him now. He raised his head to look into my eyes: his pupils were wide, floating on a small hazel rim.
"I want this, Eagle. Never before have I felt like this."
"Will you trust me, Phoenix?" he nodded.
"Does it hurt?"
"No. Not if we take our time. And there are many ways, Phoenix. There is no need for pain." I took his face into my hands and kissed him again, teasingly. He told me to come with him to his room. How glad I was he had the small single-room! At the door I left him and hurried to my own bunk. There I grabbed some condoms and lubricant. I have always been a responsible guy and at least rubbers are always with me. I quickly returned to his cabin. He stood there, nervous and anticipating, but not knowing what to do now.
I invited him to sit and kicked off my boots. I knelt behind him on the bed, applying a gentle massage to his shoulders. I felt he warmth of his body through the fabric.
"Do you mind taking off your sweater?" he didn't. His pale skin shimmered in the dim light like milky opals. Ah! My dreams coming true. I kissed every scar on his back while my hands slid over his trim waist and up to his chest where they brushed his small, erect nipples. Phoenix's skin was a bit salty, hot and smooth. With a fast movement I got rid of my own top and pressed my chest against his back. What a pleasure to feel his skin on mine! I sighed.I could hear his racing heart and for sure he could feel mine hammering against my ribs.
I kissed him again and meanwhile pushed him gently backwards on the mattress. My lips slid over his throat with the hard pulsing artery down to his chest. His hands then touched my body. So shy, so delicious, sending shivers down my spine! I moaned. I kissed and tasted every inch of his naked skin, making Phoenix sigh softly. It was great to know that he enjoyed this so much, that I caused him pleasures like this!
I took off his boots and socks, kissing his feet and ankles. In my eyes he was simply perfect, tip to toe! I opened the belt and unzipped his pants. It was impossible not to touch his bulging member then, although I really tried. He lifted his hips to help me strip off the pants and shorts - I wanted him naked! And there he was! A wonderful body spread out on the bed. Phoenix's eyes were closed while I went on to discover his body with my eyes, hands and lips.
"Eagle!"
"Yes?"
"Will you take these off?" Phoenix tucked at my pants. Instantly the rest of my clothes were on the ground!
"You are gorgeous!" he whispered. I knelt beside him when he let his hand slide down my stomach and then covered my throbbing, aching organ. That was too much! With a moan I exploded the second he touched me.
I wiped his embarrassment away with some kisses. I turned my attention back to his wonderful body, kissing him here, stroking there, finding all those sensible spots with knowing hands. His sighs and moans were like the sweetest music, making my heart sing. When he finally came, his back was tensely arched. He collapsed into my arms, breathless, trembling. Our bodies were damp with sweat and after I had gently cleaned off the traces of our passion I covered us with the blanket.
"I love you, Phoenix!" I couldn't hold it back, my heart was overjoyed. He closed his eyes, whispering my name.
We spent some time talking but he soon started to explore my body, telling me he had to return me quite some favor. He had become much more daring and soon we were on fire again.
"Tell me what you want, Eagle!" he said.
"You!" I panted.
"Tell me your dreams, Eagle!"
"You.inside me!" I panted. He smiled and kissed me. Then he reached for a rubber and I swear, never before had I witnessed a more erotic, promising sight! I moaned with anticipation. Reaching for the lube I assisted him a bit. But he was quite perceptive and needed not too much guidance.
When he buried himself deep in my body we both moaned loud. In an ecstatic pas-de-deux we moved towards a climax that left both of us shaking. I couldn't tell, but I was afraid it did not happen completely unnoticed.
Phoenix gently separated our bodies, covering me with kisses.
"Did I hurt you?" he was concerned.
"No. You are the virgin, Phoenix, not me!" I chuckled. God! He was so wonderful.
"Will you stay here tonight?" he asked me. Would I ever say no?
"if you let me: I gladly will!"
He spooned up behind me and embraced me - a wonderful feeling after nearly 9 months of lonely nights! I would have stayed awake to relish the sensations, but the lovemaking had tired me and so I dozed off fast. We woke twice that night, quenching our desire with showers of touches and kisses only to fall back into a deep, dreamless sleep again. Paradise found!
Life was good on the ship: I liked the new one a lot and we became real good buddies. We had to work together often since Phoenix was an electronics-wizard. Sometimes we spent half a night working together on hard- and software, being perfect matches for each other's abilities.
Slowly but surely things developed: I realized that what I felt was more than friendship. Once or twice Arrow kicked my shin in the mess to stop my reverie at the table. I kept it for myself, although this was not an easy task for someone who hardly ever had hidden his feelings before.
But Phoenix was a matrix-born and I knew they had sometimes strange ideas, many of them were homophobic and I didn't want to risk to lose his friendship due to nothing.
When we were working I sometimes got lost watching his hands. He has those sensitive hands artists often have: slim, dry with long fingers. Nevertheless they are strong. Delicious!
I started to dream about him. And my dreams were far from being decent. Before I knew what happened I had to admit I had a crush on Phoenix, if not more.
Damn!
I trapped myself stealing: when I patted his shoulder, like we all did from time to time, I let my hand linger for a split-second. One night I realized what I was doing: I was stealing something that was not meant for me. I felt guilty. So, in the middle of a sleepless night I decided I had to change my behavior.
I could not go on torturing me like this and I had to take care I would not do something silly. Better to be his friend than to make him hate me.
I kept distance. Not easy on such a small ship. I reduced contact to the minimum. This came really hard on me! I have always been someone who needed the warmth of physical contact like air and water. This had nothing to do with sexuality, it was simply that I took reassurance and comfort from those hugs and little touches from all my friends.
It wasn't really a miracle that Phoenix cornered me after two weeks, asking me what was wrong.
"Nothing. Everything's fine, Phoenix." I couldn't look him in the eye, I was afraid of what I might reveal to him.
"You shun me!" he sounded.sad? Angry?
"Phoenix."
"Eagle, did I say anything that offended or hurt you?"
"No. It's not your fault. It's my mistake, I'm sorry." I tried to get away but he wouldn't let me go.
"That makes no sense at all! I want to know what happened!"
"I just can't bear to be so close to you." I bit my lip and looked down on the ground.
"Am I dirty? Stinky? Do I have a bad breath?" he was completely puzzled.
"No! You are - perfect; it's just - ", I scratched my head, "I am gay."
"So?" his voice was so cold, it scared me
"And I like you. A lot. And I didn't want to offend you by doing something stupid. I thought the best thing would be to keep some distance." I was sick, there was a cold lump forming in my stomach. I had heard stories and readied myself for being cussed out.
"Look at me, Eagle!" I couldn't, "Damn, you Eagle! Look at me!" how should I resist this voice? I complied and instantly my knees grew weak: he was just too close.
"You could have talked this over with me." Phoenix was angry, but at least he didn't call me names, "If this was about our friendship, you had the damned duty to tell me!"
"What difference would that have made? Why should I cause a fuss about something that could be settled in silence just as well?"
"Because - you may have not noticed that - friendship is not one-sided, man!" I could see his jaws work.
"I don't need you to tell me that, Phoenix! But this was one-sided. To put it plain: why should I torture myself craving for you if there was NO way to satisfy my want, ey? For my own sake I had to gain distance!"
"You are such an arrogant idiot." Phoenix's voice was soft and he shook his head, "Why didn't you tell me? How can you be so arrogant and think this could never be mutual?" he put his hand on my shoulder and let his thumb brush my throat. Instantly my body was covered with Goosebumps, my heart skipped a beat.
What was he saying? That he liked me? Even wanted me? Gracious Lord! His hand slipped up my throat until it met my jawbone and this time his thumb brushed my lips.I shivered, a twinge shot through my body, aiming south where I felt the heat gather in my groin.
"Silly!" Phoenix whispered, his face moving nearer.
"Phoenix." I tried to steady myself against the wall.
When our lips met it was like an electroshock! I let my tongue dart out only to find his lips part for me more than willingly. He tasted so good. my nostrils were filled with his scent and through the blood that thundered in my ears I heard him moan softly. We pressed our bodies against each other, our arms kept us in a tight embrace.
When we broke the kiss, Phoenix pressed his face against the nape of my neck, whispering:
"I can't believe what is happening here!"
"Phoenix." I whispered his name; I had lost reason and actually was not able to say anything sensible. I reveled in the sensation to have him here in my arms.
"I have never done anything like this, Eagle. But it just feels good." He shivered. I bowed my head to kiss his neck. I could see the Goosebumps rise and heard him catch a sharp breath. I was so afraid he could retreat and excuse and feel ashamed for his 'unnatural' actions.
"Phoenix, understand that this is OK. As long as those involved agree, everything is OK!" I told him softly, still holding him tight but I would not try hold him back, my hands were gently caressing his back. It was up to him now. He raised his head to look into my eyes: his pupils were wide, floating on a small hazel rim.
"I want this, Eagle. Never before have I felt like this."
"Will you trust me, Phoenix?" he nodded.
"Does it hurt?"
"No. Not if we take our time. And there are many ways, Phoenix. There is no need for pain." I took his face into my hands and kissed him again, teasingly. He told me to come with him to his room. How glad I was he had the small single-room! At the door I left him and hurried to my own bunk. There I grabbed some condoms and lubricant. I have always been a responsible guy and at least rubbers are always with me. I quickly returned to his cabin. He stood there, nervous and anticipating, but not knowing what to do now.
I invited him to sit and kicked off my boots. I knelt behind him on the bed, applying a gentle massage to his shoulders. I felt he warmth of his body through the fabric.
"Do you mind taking off your sweater?" he didn't. His pale skin shimmered in the dim light like milky opals. Ah! My dreams coming true. I kissed every scar on his back while my hands slid over his trim waist and up to his chest where they brushed his small, erect nipples. Phoenix's skin was a bit salty, hot and smooth. With a fast movement I got rid of my own top and pressed my chest against his back. What a pleasure to feel his skin on mine! I sighed.I could hear his racing heart and for sure he could feel mine hammering against my ribs.
I kissed him again and meanwhile pushed him gently backwards on the mattress. My lips slid over his throat with the hard pulsing artery down to his chest. His hands then touched my body. So shy, so delicious, sending shivers down my spine! I moaned. I kissed and tasted every inch of his naked skin, making Phoenix sigh softly. It was great to know that he enjoyed this so much, that I caused him pleasures like this!
I took off his boots and socks, kissing his feet and ankles. In my eyes he was simply perfect, tip to toe! I opened the belt and unzipped his pants. It was impossible not to touch his bulging member then, although I really tried. He lifted his hips to help me strip off the pants and shorts - I wanted him naked! And there he was! A wonderful body spread out on the bed. Phoenix's eyes were closed while I went on to discover his body with my eyes, hands and lips.
"Eagle!"
"Yes?"
"Will you take these off?" Phoenix tucked at my pants. Instantly the rest of my clothes were on the ground!
"You are gorgeous!" he whispered. I knelt beside him when he let his hand slide down my stomach and then covered my throbbing, aching organ. That was too much! With a moan I exploded the second he touched me.
I wiped his embarrassment away with some kisses. I turned my attention back to his wonderful body, kissing him here, stroking there, finding all those sensible spots with knowing hands. His sighs and moans were like the sweetest music, making my heart sing. When he finally came, his back was tensely arched. He collapsed into my arms, breathless, trembling. Our bodies were damp with sweat and after I had gently cleaned off the traces of our passion I covered us with the blanket.
"I love you, Phoenix!" I couldn't hold it back, my heart was overjoyed. He closed his eyes, whispering my name.
We spent some time talking but he soon started to explore my body, telling me he had to return me quite some favor. He had become much more daring and soon we were on fire again.
"Tell me what you want, Eagle!" he said.
"You!" I panted.
"Tell me your dreams, Eagle!"
"You.inside me!" I panted. He smiled and kissed me. Then he reached for a rubber and I swear, never before had I witnessed a more erotic, promising sight! I moaned with anticipation. Reaching for the lube I assisted him a bit. But he was quite perceptive and needed not too much guidance.
When he buried himself deep in my body we both moaned loud. In an ecstatic pas-de-deux we moved towards a climax that left both of us shaking. I couldn't tell, but I was afraid it did not happen completely unnoticed.
Phoenix gently separated our bodies, covering me with kisses.
"Did I hurt you?" he was concerned.
"No. You are the virgin, Phoenix, not me!" I chuckled. God! He was so wonderful.
"Will you stay here tonight?" he asked me. Would I ever say no?
"if you let me: I gladly will!"
He spooned up behind me and embraced me - a wonderful feeling after nearly 9 months of lonely nights! I would have stayed awake to relish the sensations, but the lovemaking had tired me and so I dozed off fast. We woke twice that night, quenching our desire with showers of touches and kisses only to fall back into a deep, dreamless sleep again. Paradise found!