My name is Knicksgiants and I come from a land far away. Recently, I have just completed the most awesome task of collecting food for the most important baker in the kingdom. Last week, on a particularly turbulent Tuesday afternoon I came upon the king's personal baker, anguished by great anxiety and grief. Some foul foe of mischief stole the ingredients necessary to bake the king his honorary cake. That night there was to be a special celebration in honor of the king's 77th year of life. The baker stood in anguish, bemoaning the loss of the most precious eggs and flower. Clearly, the entire kingdom lay in certain doom. It was up to me, thane Knicksgiants, to journey through peril and field to find the most sacred dairy, less the whole kingdom become waste to the evil of healthy meals. First, I traveled through the green wasteland some refer to as the forest, and found at the end of it a man. The man stood next to a wooden fortress, small in size, but nevertheless daunting. He had in his possession the most holy egg. I stood there, staring at the pearl white orb, my heart racing as my kingdom cried to me. But my hopes were dashed, as it was priced several coins more than I had. So, tired, fighting exhaustion, I sold him my net. My precious net! I used it to catch shrimp. My net and several runes that were supposed to give me magical powers were enough to fetch me the holy unborn chicken shell. I held the egg above my head, the heavens lightening it up with the shine of a thousand heavenly chariots. Now I only needed to find some flower and milk. After milking the teat of a wild horned, spotted beast, I made my way to a colossal tower. At the end of it were great blades that circled like a dragon above a flame. Inside a young girl told me to get wheat from a field. I walked tiredly, dragging myself, to the field that was nearly five inches from the colossal bladed tower. I grabbed the wheat and ripped it from the earth, the dirt grabbing onto it like a protective mother. The girl, maliciously smiling, told me to climb the tower, and feed the great blades my sacrifice. So I did. The blades churned and laughed as I turned the great lever, sweat pouring down my anguished brow. Soon I had the wheat. After once again returning to the field, and dealing with a sudden inability to tell which way right was, I returned to the baker. The baker smiled and cried great tears of joy. I gave him my gifts, and yes the king got his cake. The foul clouds left the skies above the kingdom, and I smiled to myself, content as I cleaned the royal dishes after dinner. It was I, thane Knicksgiants, who had saved my kingdom.