Disclaimer: All recognisable characters belong to J K Rowling, and of course, the title is from the 2003 Greg Kinnear/Matt Damon film.

A/N: Okay, so it's been a ridiculously long time since I've put up a brand new story, and this has been bubbling away at the back of my mind for a while. It'll be a short series – no more than around six or so chapters. I'll be keeping the chapters fairly short too, so I can update more often. I hope you enjoy it! Read and review, as always – and if you're into Fred and George, check out my fic Things I'm Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts. Also - voting is now open at the Sunnydale Memorial Fanfiction Awards - if you like my writing, drop in and vote for me and my three nominated stories, Potential, La Cara Verdadera, and Sineya.

Chapter One

'Thanks for coming, you two,' Harry said quietly. 'She's getting pretty uncomfortable; I think she'll like to see you.'

'You seriously owe us, Harry,' Ron muttered. 'Making me hang out with my hormonal little sister while her first pregnancy gets longer and longer overdue? That's a really, really big debt.'

Hermione elbowed Ron in the ribs. 'Don't listen to him, Harry; we're happy to be here. Where is she?'

'She's in the living room – she hates having to walk upstairs, so she's sleeping in there.' Harry took the trunk Ron and Hermione had brought with them and sent it upstairs to the guest bedroom with a flick of his wand.

'Hermione!' Ginny said gratefully, as her sister-in-law entered the room. 'Thank goodness you're here. Harry's getting quite stressed.'

'What about you, how are you feeling?' Hermione sat down next to Ginny on the couch, and fussily adjusted the blanket covering her knees.

'I'm okay. Just impatient, you know? I'm not nearly as immobile as Harry seems to think,' she sighed, batting Hermione's hands away.

'He's just worried about you,' Hermione assured her.

'Hey, Ginny,' Ron said as he ambled into the room. 'How's it going?'

'Still pregnant,' Ginny shrugged. 'Not much is new.'

'Are you hungry, Ginny?' Harry asked anxiously, entering the room just behind Ron.

'A little,' she admitted. 'Have you got any -'

'Cockroach Clusters? Yeah.' Harry disappeared into the kitchen, fetching Ginny's favourite pregnancy food.

'Cockroach Clusters?' Ron asked, looking repulsed. 'You are the weirdest pregnant girl ever.'

'She's craving them, Ron, she can't help it!' Hermione scolded him.

'They're actually quite nice,' Ginny aid mildly. 'Have you ever tried them?'

'I have,' Harry said, reappearing with a dish of the sweets. 'They're pretty vile.'

'I knew it!' Ron said, plonking himself beside his wife.

'So how's everyone? How's George?' Ginny asked her brother. 'How's the shop?'

'It's doing very well, thank you,' Ron said. 'And George is fine. We've just opened our third branch.'

'How's the one in Hogsmeade doing?' Harry said, perching himself on the coffee table in front of the couch so he could face Ginny.

'Actually, we got a letter from McGonagall the other day, congratulating us on the fact that prank rates at Hogwarts have never been higher,' Ron chuckled.

'Not even in Fred and George's heyday?' Ginny asked interestedly.

'Apparently not. I think McGonagall's getting soft in her old age though. She sounded more amused than angry.'

'She's turning into Dumbledore,' Harry grinned.

'Hey – isn't that your owl, Harry?' Hermione said, staring out of the window.

'Yeah, it is,' Harry said, jumping up and unlatching the window so the sooty owl could fly through it.

'What have you got for us, Aurora?' Ginny asked. 'If it's another letter asking if I'm still pregnant, send it back, please.'

Harry grinned at Ginny before opening the envelope. 'It's a muggle envelope – that's odd,' he mused.

He opened the letter folded inside, and his expression settled into a grimace. He slowly sat back down on the coffee table.

'What? What is it?' Ginny asked, alarmed?

'It's – it's…' Harry trailed off, looking miserably at the letter.

'Give it here,' Ron snatched the paper out of his hands. 'Ha!' he laughed. 'He has to go and visit his cousin!'

'What? Why?' Ginny asked, looking annoyed.

'He's getting married,' Ron said, scanning the letter. 'He wants you and Harry to meet the lucky girl.'

'Dudley's getting married?' Ginny asked, incredulously, remembering their first and last meeting, which had not gone well. 'But he's the dullest person alive!'

'Is there any way I can get out of it?' Harry asked his friends desperately.

'Oh, you have to go, Harry!' Hermione said in exasperation. 'You can't just say no on the grounds that he bores you!'

'Here's an excuse,' Ron said, his brow furrowed. 'You write back and say 'Sorry Dud, but I've got a heavily pregnant wife on my hands. Send us a photo of the wedding. Bye.' Would that not work?'

'I'm for it!' Harry nodded fervently.

'Harry, he's your cousin, and he obviously cares about you if he wants you to meet his fiancée,' Hermione said sagely.

'I agree with Hermione, Harry,' Ginny said, rubbing her swollen stomach.

'I though you were supposed to be on my side,' Harry shot at her.

'Nope, that's one of those myths about marriage,' Ginny shrugged. 'I'll go with you, if that makes you feel better.'

'No! You can't!' Hermione exclaimed. 'You can't apparate, Ginny! Not in this state!'

'Wow, Hermione. Your maternal instincts are stronger than mine,' Ginny chuckled.

'So!' Ron butted in, attempting to direct them back to the matter at hand, and avoid the subject of Hermione's maternal instincts. 'What to do about Harry's predicament?'

'Well I'm not going alone,' Harry said firmly. 'And someone needs to stay here and look after Ginny.'

'I'm not a child!' Ginny said indignantly.

'Yes, but you've got one inside you,' Ron said mildly.

'I'll stay with her,' Hermione said, desperately trying to make sure she would not be the one stuck for an afternoon with Dudley.

'But I'm her brother!' Ron protested.

'But I'm the one who's not completely freaked out at the thought of her going into labour,' Hermione said pointedly.

'That's a fair point,' Ginny said. 'I don't particularly fancy you screaming every time I have a contraction.'

Ron visibly shuddered. 'Fine. I'll go with you, Harry.'

Harry sighed. 'I hate visiting Dudley.'

'You've only done it twice in the last six years,' Ginny pointed out. 'And you initiated one of those meetings.'

'I wanted to make sure they were still alive, after the war! Now that's a decent reason to want to see someone!' Harry sulked.

'Ooh, look who's hormonal now,' Ginny said patronisingly to Hermione, who chuckled.

'You'd better send him a reply,' Hermione said, producing parchment and a quill from her handbag, and handing them to Harry.

'Thanks, Hermione,' he said sarcastically, slipping off the table and onto the floor.

'I don't have any ink,' he complained, placing the parchment on the table so he could write his reply.

'It's one of the shop's self-inking ones,' Hermione explained, gingerly picking up a cockroach cluster and sniffing it.

'Dear Dudley…no, that's too…wrong,' Harry muttered. 'To Dudley? Maybe…'

Hermione raised the sweet to eye level. Ron was watching her, looking revolted.

'I'd love to come…no, it would be a pleasure….no. Um…Dinner sounds fine. Yes…' Harry scribbled haltingly on the parchment.

'If you don't eat that soon, I will,' Ginny said warningly to Hermione.

'If you eat that thing, I won't kiss you for the rest of our lives,' Ron said threateningly.

'Empty threat,' Hermione said, rolling her eyes, but passing Ginny the cockroach cluster anyway.

'As you know, Ginny's pregnant, and so won't be able to join us…' Harry muttered. 'But I'm bringing my friend Ron, if that's alright…'

Ron snorted.

'We'll be there around six…' Harry paused, scratching his chin with the feathery tip of the quill. 'Looking forward to it,' he finished. 'From Harry.'

'Well that's just a downright lie,' Ron said grumpily.

'What? It's definitely from me,' Harry said, eyebrows raised.

'Yes, but we are most certainly not looking forward to it.,' Ron grumbled.

'Yeah, well, we don't all have perfect relatives,' Harry said with a smile, as he leaned forward to kiss Ginny, who beamed. Harry turned to face his best friend again, to find him looking even more disgruntled than before.

'Thanks. That makes me feel loads better,' he rolled his eyes.

'C'mere, Aurora,' Harry called to the pretty dark feathered owl that was still perched on the windowsill. She flew above their heads before coming to rest on the coffee table, where Harry magically sealed the scroll of parchment, and fastened it to her leg. 'Don't freak him out this time, okay?' he said to the bird, stroking her soft feathery head. She nipped him lightly on the finger before taking off out of the window.

No getting out of it now, he thought.

'No getting out of it now,' Ron sighed sadly. Harry chuckled.

'At least it's just tomorrow, and then it'll be over and done with,' he said resignedly to Ron, who nodded dejectedly.

'I'd better have had this bloody baby by then…' Ginny muttered darkly, cheering them up slightly.

A/N: It's very short, I know. I know I said the chapters were only going to be little, but they will get a little longer than this. Let me know what you think – the real story starts next chapter, and reviews make me work faster…so you know what to do!arryHa