AN: Heyloo everybody. It's Caligula II back at it. After what I guess was a long and excrutiating wait, I'm back to writing holliday specials. Review them and the following chapters become cooler.

Without any further ado, commence au festival. (omg skillz)

It was a cheerful day in Anytown, America, when Eddie Gordo and his playas' drove by in their lowrider.

'Tryin' to catch us ridin' dirty.' rapped Eddie.

'The fuck are you doin on my turf?' asked Paul Phoenix who just came along on his motorbike.

'We ride where we want, cracker!' fired Eddie.

'The fuck you call me, nigga?' asked Paul. Everybody was creeped out because Paul said the 'n' word.

'Yo, homies. Pop this dumb mothafucka bitch!' ordered Eddie and his gangstas pulled out Uzis and aimed towards Paul.

But just as all seemed lost for Paul, a group of outlaw bikers rode and started busting Eddie's lowrider.

'Yo, watch the paint, bitchazz!' shouted Eddie as the gangstas opened fire and all the bikers started firing their guns too.

'Growl, homes!' shouted someone and suddenly, a bunch of Latina looking dudes rushed in and kicked everybody's ass.

'Growl purr ese!' it appeared that the mysterious voice belonged to King.

'The fuck?' asked Paul. 'Now all we need is that bitch, Kazuya and his guys.'

'Tha dumb bitch is in da bummin joint.' said Eddie.

'Double you tee eff?' asked Paul, after he couldn't understand a word of what Eddie was saying.

'Growl ourr groar purr growl.' explained King.

'The eff? What are these guys talking about?' asked Paul.

'Pinche puta!' shouted King as he kicked Paul in the nuts.

'Boss. He says Kazuya's in the loony bin.' said Paul's right hand man.

'Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.' panted Paul.

Meanwhile, back in the Legaly Sane assylum, Kazuya was his evil, twisted and sociopathic self again.

'Okay everybody, drinks on me!' he shouted.

'Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who's coming to poker night?'

'Hey, Kaz! Check this out!' said one of the guys. 'You have a visitor!'

'OMG cool.' said Kazuya.

It turned out the visitor was none other than Jin.

'Jin, boy. Here to see your old man?' asked Kazuya.

'Yeah, dad. How's it hanging?'

'Oh, it's cool. Hey, wanna come for poker night?'

'Nah, dad. Just here to see how are you feeling?'

'Oh, I'm just grand. How about you? Anything happen between you and Julia?'

'Yeah, we're doing fine. Seen mom lately?'

'Jun? Hell yeah. She took me to this fine-ass resort where we had some good ol' fashioned fun, if you know what I mean.'

'I do. But seriosly, dad. You realy need to get some. Find yourself some hot chick and get out of this dump already.'

'Nah.. I'm too old for most hot chicks.'

'How about Michelle? She's hot, and about your age.'

'Julia's mom? You know, how does she stay that hot even well in her 40s?'

'No idea.'

'OMG I just remembered. I have this thing for you.' said Kaz enthusiasticaly.

'What?' asked Jin.

Kaz hauled a large bag from the assylum. He unloaded it and it contained a...

'PS3?!' fanboied Jin.

'Yeah. I guess e-bay does pay off sometimes.' joked Kaz.

'Omg Jules has been asking for one of these since forever. Thanks dad.' said Jin as he hugged his dad.

'Yeah. Go now and have some all-american fun with Jules, will ya?'

'Okay. Bye, dad!' yelled Jin as he went away.

'How can you not love that kid?' asked Kaz himself.

Then he slapped himself mentaly over his face.

'All-american fun?! Fuck! It's 4th of July tommorow!'

Needless to say he bought some suspicious stuff on e-bay later that day.

AN: OMG 4th of July is coming soon.

Just a warning, this fic will include a lot of U.S. bashing.