"Oh man, I'm so excited!" A small, orange squid-like girl exclaimed aloud.
"I know, right?" Responded an equally childlike blue squid boy. The two kids were waiting anxiously in the lobby of the Smash Mansion. An enormous luxury accommodation made to house fighters from all over for the Smash Bros Ultimate Tournament. Needless to say, the two new inductees were more than happy to have been invited. All around them gathered an eclectic cast of other fighters, some from past tournaments and some brand new. They were conversing with each other or lounging around, awaiting for an announcement from Master Hand.
"Would you take a look at all these other weirdos Orange." The blue inkling noted with a wry look, which was met with a sharp jab to the chest. "Hey! What was that for?"
"Don't be rude Blue," scolded the orange inkling, "I bet we look pretty weird too!"
"I dunno, I think that giant hairy thing with the tie takes the cake on weird, and… are those humans? I thought they were extinct or-"
"Shhhh! The hand's about to say something."
"ATTENTION EVERYONE!" Came the booming disembodied voice of Master Hand as he descended into the lobby. "I WOULD LIKE TO FORMALLY WELCOME ALL OF YOU TO THE SUPER SMASH BROS ULTIMATE TOURNAMENT!" The crowd of fighters below cheered, while some simply applauded.
"AS YOU KNOW, YOU WILL ALL BE ROOMING HERE DURING THE FULL EXTENT OF THE TOURNAMENT, SO I WILL BE GOING OVER SOME BASIC RULES," This part was met by no applause and virtually no cheering.
"FIRSTLY, ALL FIGHTING IS TO TAKE PLACE ONLY IN OFFICIAL MATCHES OR IN TRAINING SESSIONS. ALL COMMODITIES WILL BE PROVIDED IN THE MANSION SUCH AS FOOD, GYMS, RECREATIONAL AREAS AND MORE."
"SECONDLY, ROOMS ARE ORGANIZED BASED ON THE TOURNAMENT YOU FIRST TOOK PLACE IN, MEANING THE NEWEST INDUCTEES WILL BE ON THE TOP FLOOR, WHILE THE ORIGINAL TWELVE WILL BE ON THE FIRST FLOOR."
"Excuse me, but wouldn't that make the mansion incredibly disproportioned?" Came the analytical voice of Robin. "I mean the middle floors would be much more bloated than the others, will there be equal space for everyone?"
"EXCELLENT QUESTION, DESPITE IT SEEMING IMPOSSIBLE, ALL FLOORS AND ROOMS ARE IDENTICAL IN SPACE AND SIZE, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT NOT HAVING ENOUGH SPACE." Robin gave a curt nod in response.
"MOVING ON, EACH OF YOUR ASSIGNED ROOMS IS FULLY CUSTOMIZABLE ON THE INSIDE, IF YOU FIND THAT YOU ARE MISSING SOMETHING, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FIND IT OUTSIDE THE MANSION IN ONE OF THE SEVERAL TOWNS THAT SURROUNDS IT, YOU WILL ALL BE GIVEN SOME STARTING CURRENCY, BUT THE REST YOU WILL NEED TO EARN THROUGH PARTICIPATION IN BATTLES."
"You mean we're-a gonna have to work for the money?" Came Wario's annoyed complaint.
"NATURALLY, AFTER ALL THERE HAS TO BE SOME INCENTIVE TO PARTICIPATE, NOT EVERYONE HERE IS MOTIVATED BY TESTING THEIR SKILL ALONE." This was met by some agreed murmurs from the villains in the back.
"TO CONCLUDE, BEHAVE WITHIN THE MANSION, FEEL FREE TO CUSTOMIZE YOUR DWELLINGS, AND YOU HAVE FULL ACESS TO ALL OF THE COMMODITIES OFFERED, ARE THERE ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS?" The collection of fighters shook their heads, all anxious to check out their rooms.
"VERY WELL THEN, TOURNAMENT SCHEDULES ARE BY THE FRONT DOOR, AND IF YOU NEED ANYTHING JUST ASK, DO NOT WORRY, I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING." With that Master Hand ascended into a dark portal and disappeared into the ceiling. Wasting no time, everyone split up and began to disperse across the mansion.
"Come on Blue, he said newcomers were on the top floor, let's go, I'll race ya!" Orange shouted giddily, sprinting towards the stairs.
"Hey, you got a head start, not fair!" Blue cried out as he ran behind her. With that, the two squid-kids disappeared up the mansion's winding stairs.
"Ha I win!" Orange cheered as she reached what appeared to be the top floor.
"That's *huff* because *huff* you cheated," Blue kneeled over, trying to catch his breath.
"Yeah, well you're just a sore loser, anyway come on, help me find our rooms." Orange stated as she began inspecting the nameplates on the doors down the hall. Each door had a name and number for each fighter in addition to being uniquely designed to match the tenant. "Let's see… Villager, Mega Man, Wii Fit Trainer, none of these are us, maybe we're on the other side or something." Orange pondered aloud.
"I don't think so, I was looking at the other doors near the stairs, I think one of them said Puck-Man or something, either way not ours." The two finally reached the end of the hall, without a single glimpse of their rooms. "Still nothing, oh man!" Blue panicked, "You don't think they forgot to give us a room or something do you? Maybe we got someone else's invitation!"
"Woah hey," Orange stepped forward and grabbed Blue's shoulder, "Calm down, I mean if we had the wrong invitation, they probably wouldn't have even let us in the mansion!" She gave a small chuckle, trying to alleviate Blue's worries.
"I guess…" He trailed off, but looking slightly more at ease.
"Excuse me, but are you two lost?" Came a voice from behind them. The two inklings turned around to look up at a tall floating figure.
"Uh yeah, we can't seem to find our rooms anywhere," Orange spoke up, literally, as the levitating blue woman towered over them.
"Hmm, aren't you two new to this tournament? Then you should be at the top floor, not this one." She observed.
"Wait you mean this isn't the top floor?" Blue frowned, scratching his head in confusion. The lady simply gave an amused laugh.
"No, this is the fourth floor, the top floor can only be accessed by the elevator at the end of the hall." She pointed her wand down the hall and towards a pristine looking set of elevator doors that sat at its end.
"Huh, how did we not notice that," wondered Blue, still really confused.
"Wait, the only way to the top floor is by elevator? That's so stupid!" Orange yelled frustratedly.
The blue lady chuckled again, "I suppose it is, but between the three of us…" she paused to kneel down to the Inklings' level, "this floor is the same since the last tournament, I think they just placed another floor on top and forgot to add the stairs." The three laughed at the structural incompetence of the mansion's design.
"Well thanks lady! Come on Orange, this time I'm beating you to the top!" Blue jeered as he bounded towards the elevator.
"You idiot, it's an elevator we'll both get there at the same time, ugh…" Orange flutily called after him. "Oh, uh thanks too, um Ms…"
"Rosalina," The woman finished for her.
"Ok, thanks Ms. Rosalina!" And with that Orange rushed down the hall to join her friend.
"What cute kids," Rosalina reflected before returning to find her room. She mad to make sure everything was in order for her Lumas.
"Aaaand we're here!" Orange cheered as she jumped out of the opening elevator doors.
"Finally, the top floor isn't as fresh as I thought it'd be though." Blue observed. On their way up he noted that all the floors looked practically identical, with this hall looking no different, aside from the doors.
"Look Blue, our room!" Orange noted happily. Right next to the elevator was room #64 Inkling Girl/Boy.
"Aww, you mean we have to share a room?" Blue grumbled.
"Stop whining, I'm not that bad ya know?"
"Says you,"
"Of course says me, now come on let's check it out!" Orange gleefully pulled open the door, revealing the room's interior. It was a simple square shaped room, containing the typical furnishings, such as beds, dressers, a mirror, etcetera. There was also a door in the back that probably led to a walk-in closet, or bathroom. What wasn't so standard was the aesthetic. The room was painted with bright colors, with "ink-like" splotches painted on the wall, various Squid Sister paraphernalia decorated almost all available surfaces, with some mock turf war weapons also set up on stands.
"Well it certainly could be worse," Blue noted.
"Oh c'mon, with a bit of splat and polish we could make this look like the freshest room in the whole mansion!"
"You want me to make a list of stuff we should get for it?" Blue asked.
"Nah, we'll just wing it, it's more fun that way!" The two shared a quick laugh before entering the room and poking around. Blue began pulling open all the dresser drawers and peeking under the beds. "You looking for something?"
"Yeah, maybe there's some spare coins someone left or something."
"It's a brand-new room Blue,"
"Well you never know." With an eye roll Orange hopped up onto the bed set up in the far-left corner.
"Hey look, the sheets are orange, just like me, and the bed over there is blue, guess that makes it easy to decide who gets which bed."
"How do you know I would want the Blue one?"
"Call it a hunch."
"So, remind me what we're doing again?" Blue questioned, as the two inklings stood in front of another Smasher's door.
"Well we're living here for, uh… a looong time, so I figured we could get to know our neighbors, maybe make some strategic allies before the tournament really gets under way." Orange explained.
"This isn't a turf war y'know, we don't need to build a team of four."
"Like you said earlier, 'you never know'." Orange mimicked, waving her hands in a mocking manner. Blue crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "Now c'mon, lets do some meeting and greeting."
"Fine… hmmm Room #65: Ridley, no clue who that is, but that door is seriously huge, and made of metal?" Blue observed.
"Cool, it looks tougher than sardinium!" Orange gave no pause before rapping quickly on the door. The two waited a moment in awkward silence before the door gave a metallic screech and slid open. The figure that answered was an intimidating and fierce looking purple dragon, which glared down at the two diminutive children.
"Hi there Mr. Ridley! My name's Orange, and this is Blue!" Orange introduced as she pulled a frightened looking Blue to her side. "Anyway, looks like we're gonna be neighbors for the tournament so we thought we'd introduce ourselves!" The Inkling's brazen positivity seemed to have no impact on the sinister space pirate, who continued to give a piercing stare.
"O-Orange, I don't think he's the chatty type, maybe w-we should leave?" Blue leaned in and whispered.
"That's quitter talk, I'm sure he's just, letting it sink in or something." Orange whispered back.
"I really don't think that's-" Before Blue could respond Ridley's menacing claw reached down and gripped Blue's head firmly. "W-Woah hey what're you doing!" Blue franticly squirmed as Ridley lifted him into the air to his eye level. Orange simply looked on in paralyzed shock, silently hoping nothing bad was about to happen.
There were a few moments of tense silence where Blue couldn't do anything but stare into those unforgiving yellow eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, Ridley let out a menacing and ear-splitting screech which sent spasms of fear down Blue's non-existent spine. With that, Ridley promptly dropped Blue to the ground and retreated into his room.
"So, he seems… nice?" Orange tried. Blue simply clutched himself and shivered in mortal terror.
"Y-You think Master Hand offers therapy?"
"Come on Blue, you can't let one traumatizing experience set you back, let's keep going!" Orange tried encouraging her friend, who was digging his heels into the carpeting.
"I told you no! The next psycho will probably try to eat me or something!" Blue protested.
"Look there's gonna be a few bad eggs here and there, but I'm sure the threatening villains are a minority here." Orange now tugged Blue along to the next door, who silently protested by refusing to cooperate in any way. "Look the next room is #66: Simon & Richter, and it looks like it's made of wood, nice, safe, wood." Blue seemed unconvinced, but didn't try to run away, so Orange seized the opportunity and knocked on the heavy wooden door.
Once again, a few seconds passed before a burly looking barbarian type answered the door. "Who goes there?" He answered staring down at the two inklings.
Why is everyone here so tall? Blue thought to himself.
"Hi there, I'm Orange and this is Blue, we're trying to meet everyone on our floor, ya know get to know some of the faces around here." Orange friendlily explained while Blue gave a casual wave.
"Hmm… A sound strategy, and from such a young child even, very well, I am Simon Belmont of the Belmont Clan, glad we have met. Richter, my… descendent, is away at the moment unfortunately." Simon stated, keeping up a stern posture.
"Ah, that's too bad, guess we'll have to check back in some other time." Orange gave an enthusiastic smile. Simon's eyes abruptly widened in shock as he stared down at Orange, who was now visibly confused. "Uh did I say something wrong?"
"Those fangs you possess, you two are vampires!" Simon exclaimed, gripping his whip.
"What?! N-No we're inklings all of us have pointy teeth like-" Blue tried to explain before he was cut off by a whip strike flying towards him.
"Blue watch out!" Orange dove at him and the two narrowly avoided the powerful lash of Simon's whip. "Run!" The two inklings scrambled to their feet and broke out in a mad dash down the hall.
"You cannot run from me foul hell spawn!" Simon bellowed as he pursued them with that awkward Belmont gait. The unfortunate downside of top floor's design was that the hall was comparatively shorter than the other floors, meaning there was less space to run to. The two soon reached the end of the hall, where they exchanged nervous glances. There was no elevator door at this end.
"The tournament hasn't even started yet and we're already gonna die!" Blue wailed in despair.
"I mean I don't think people die during this, they just kinda get beat up and come back," Orange tried to lighten the situation to no effect. Simon was closing in, a steely look of determination in his eyes. The diminishing distance between them sent Blue into Ultimate panic mode.
His eyes frantically scanned back and forth, looking for a way out, any way out. Finally, in an act of pure desperation, he began rapidly pounding on the closest door. "Someone help, help, help! There's a crazy guy trying to kill us!" As Blue was waiting for someone to answer, Orange pressed up against the back wall as Simon finally managed to close the gap.
"Nowhere left to hide, you shall expect no mercy from me!" Simon readied his whip as Orange prepared to dodge one way or the other. However, any possible outcome was interrupted as the door Blue was pounding on swung open to reveal its owner. It was a very large bipedal tiger who appeared to be wearing a belt made of fire.
"Please don't let him kill us!" Blue cried out, ducking behind the feline. For all anyone knew, Incineroar would just turn around back into his room and not give this situation a second thought.
But Incineroar is good with kids.
The wrestler stepped out into the hall in front of Orange and pounded his chest in a defensive manner, "Incin!"
Simon narrowed his eyes, "You protect these fledgling vampires? I shall give you the chance to retreat, know that I will not hesitate to strike you down as well!" Incineroar seemed unphased and just curled his finger at Simon as if to say: 'Bring it on'. Simon began to ready his whip, but in an instant Incineroar was on him. Grappling Simon he swung the vampire slayer around and tossed him down the hall an impressive distance. The floor shook as Simon thudded onto the ground, but he quickly regained his composure with a fiery look in his eyes, while Incineroar just shrugged mockingly.
Orange and Blue were in awe.
Before the two could charge at each other again Master Hand appeared.
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" He sounded angry, or at least louder.
"I am trying to do my duty to rid this world of vampires!" Simon avowed, pointing down the hall to Orange and Blue.
Master Hand looked about as exasperated as a hand could be, "SIMON, WE HAVE DISCUSSED THIS BEFORE, NONE OF THE FIGHTERS IN THIS TOURNAMENT ARE VAMPIRES, THESE TWO CHILDREN ARE SQUID-LIKE BEINGS KNOWN AS INKLINGS."
Simon furrowed his brow, "Ink… Lings?"
"CORRECT, THEY ARE NOT VAMPIRES, AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO REMIND YOU ALL NOT TO FIGHT IN THE MANSION." Simon seemed slightly embarrassed and Incineroar rolled his eyes unapologetically. "CONSIDER THIS A WARNING, BUT FOR NOW PLEASE RETURN TO YOU ROOMS." And with that Master Hand disappeared into the portal from which he came. Simon strutted back to his room while Incineroar gave Orange and Blue a thumbs up before doing the same.
The two inklings stood in stunned silence before Blue finally spoke up.
"Does this mean we're done now?"