N:This is more like, my way of mocking certain aspects from The Vampire Diaries, because I find some things in there that are actually funny. I don't own anything and don't mean to offend anyone or anything, just having some fun of my own, thought I'd share.
Ok, this is my very first time writing something like this(so different from what I usually go for). I wrote this a few days ago, but didn't have the courage to post it… finally, I said: the hell withit, what's the worst that can happen?Youdon'tlikeitandIpretendIneverdiditandIneverdoitagain.
Please do leave your honest opinion about it, don't be scared to hurt my feelings (I'm a vampire and I can turn it off – joking, lol).
Trick or treat
Alaric, Caroline, Tyler, Elena and Damon were all in the Salvatore's living room and Damon was still wondering what were they all doing in his house. The answer came from the blonde vampire.
"I know my dad tortured me and all, but did you really had do bite him?" she asked, "you got blood on his new shirt and I paid, like, 60$ on sale," she complained and Damon rolled his eyes.
"I'll buy him a new one."
"Seriously Damon you can go around chewing on people…half of Mystic Falls has bite marks on their necks, it looks suspicious, Alaric pointed out.
"Hello, people, I AM a vampire!" Damon shouted and everyone's attention was on him.
"But you don't have to act like one. Here in MF every vampire becomes human with pointy teeth." Elena said walking towards him.
"Then what's the damn point?"
"You can make fog and compel crows…" she offered happily.
"I can't do that anymore cos' the writers decided I need to stop doing it; just like that."
"Really; why? I thought it was kind of scary. You got me there in the grave yard…" she pointed a finger at him.
"Really?"
"Swear to God, scared the crap out of me; why stop that?"
"Don't know, really; people thought it wasn't cool. Kind of like your relationship with Stefan, but for some reason they kept that…" he chose to look around like he was looking for something or someone just to avoid her gaze.
"You get super speed and…hey my relationship with Stefan's not uncool!"
"Not now," Damon said *big eye acting moment*
"You're just sayin' that cos' I won't sleep with you and pretend there's not A TON of sexual tension between us when actually all I real leant is to jump your bones. Was my relationship with Stefan bad, guys?" Elena asked looking around.
"Can I go now, this isn't really my thing?" Tyler asked standing up from the couch next to Caroline.
"Sit!" Elena shouted and Tyler took a seat back on the couch. "Good boy," Elena said giving him some treats from her pocket. "So…Caroline…" she pushed, clearly expecting an answer.
"Well…remember when I tried to break you two up and told you Katherine made me do it?" Elena nodded, "that was actually me…" Caroline finished looking at the floor in embarrassment.
"Ric?" Elena asked looking in Alaric's direction.
"I…uh…well…how do I put this…man, you two bore ME, the boring history teacher!" Alaric said looking relived, like a bog weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
"You guys don't know what it's like to in a relationship… now, back to you," she turned to face Damon again. "Like I said, you have super speed; that should be nice."
"I don't even use that! Have you seen my car?" he said proudly.
"Well maybe you should, just so you get to feel like a real vampire, by running around at supernatural speed; this can be really handy when you're stuck in traffic and need to go pee."
"Well, I have to drink, BLOOD in order for me to pee!"
"Damon!" *the face Elena has every time she's shouting Damon's name and she's annoyed with him*
"But real vampires kill people..."
"Not in The Vampire Diaries they don't...only the bad ones, and they get punished…or they should…"
"But Stefan gets to do it, no fair."
"Stefan's not himself right now, we can really blame him…he is the hero; plus he has the right, he's protecting the TWO of us while killing TONES of innocent people. He is a bad, bad vampire now, drinking a lot of blood and getting his fangs all bloody," *passes her hand through her hair* "and his body will probably get all sweaty," *she caresses her neck* "and he'll have to get off his t-shirt…" Elena moaned softly, then stopped and looked around. *crick-crick*
"But..." Damon started, but Elena cut him off.
"I said no, now be a good little vampire and get a blood bag!"
N: This is it *bites nails* be really nice and review (even if it's to tell me I suck at this)!