Title: Down fall

Author: thousand_miles

Rating: K for now

Disclaimer: Don't own any of these characters. Just like to play with them.

Summary: There was this part of him that wanted to hold her and never let her go. There was another part that was afraid, afraid of the fact that she was the only one who could truly hurt him. Ironically he realized she was the only one who could love him.(GSR)

Spoilers: Up until the episode where Sara gets pulled over for DUI and Grissom is called.

A/N: It's been years since I wrote a GSR fic. They were however my first ship I wrote fanfiction for. I enjoyed it so much. But then after several years I lost interest in the show. Lately I started to read GSR fanfic and it made me realize how much I loved the show and how much I loved Grissom and Sara. I'm still trying to get the handle on these characters again so bear with me. I'll always be a ' old school' GSR fan, so S1 to S5 was the time I loved it all so much and those memories are my inspiration for writing. And those memories might also cause for some unintentional errors. Reviews are of course welcome. Constructive criticism also.

Chapter one

He watched her as she sat beside him on the passenger seat. He couldn't believe that she'd let it get this far. This wasn't like her. She didn't do things like this. What was going on with her? She was looking at her hands in her lap, making her hair fall in front of her face. He wanted to reach out and put her hair behind her ear and make her look at him. If he let himself he could look at her for hours. He shook his head. Sara, she caused such a mix of emotions inside of him. There was this part of him that wanted to hold her and never let her go. There was another part that was afraid, afraid of the fact that she was the only one who could truly hurt him. Ironically he realized she was the only one who could love him. He tried hard to deny the latter. He sometimes tried so hard that he hurt her in the process. It wasn't his goal in live to pull her in and then push her away, hurting her like it didn't matter. He didn't want that, but seemed to be unable to stop himself. Or maybe it seemed the only safe option, because loving her would mean losing himself.

He parked the car at her apartment complex. She was out it before he knew it. Quickly he followed her to her apartment. He was going to make sure she would be safe at home.

Hearing his footsteps behind her, she wondered why he was following her. It was embarrassing enough that he was the one they'd called. That he'd come to pick her up. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Why was he always the one there when she was on her lowest point? She shook her head. Probably because nine out of ten times he was the cause. The man had this strange hold on her and she let him. That was probably the worst of it. She let him.

She opened the door of her apartment and sighed. She was tired, drained and had never felt so lost before.

" Sara..." He took a step towards her, blocking the closing door.

" No, just go. Please." She softly said, walking towards her couch. God she was tired. These last couple of months seemed to have drained every ounce of energy she had She'd been questioning everything lately. Her job, her life, being in Vegas, her love for Grissom. Getting away from him would mean getting away from all the turmoil. She didn't want the pain anymore. Didn't want the reminder every day. Something had to change. She couldn't do this any longer.

Standing inside her apartment he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to go, didn't want to leave her like this. She looked so lost. He wanted to help her, guide her way back…to him. He doubted she let him, but this time he wasn't going to give up easily. "I'm not going anywhere."

Ignoring him she walked to her fridge and opened it, grabbing a beer.

" What do you think you're doing?"

" Getting a drink."

" Why?"

" Because I want a drink!"

" I don't think that's a good idea."

" I don't care!" She twisted the cap, threw it in the bin and walked away from him again.

Following her he grabbed the bottle from her hand. He wanted to grab her and yell at her. Shake some sense into her. But he knew in her current frame of mind she wanted his anger. It was easier to deal with for her. But he wasn't going to give her the easy way out. He wanted to get to the bottom of this.

As she let herself fall down on her couch again, Grissom sat down on the coffee table, facing her. " Sara, why are you doing this to yourself? What does drinking give you?" He asked her softly.

She shrugged. She didn't want to tell him that the alcohol helped her escape, helped her lessen the pain.

" Sara." He tried again, hoping she would answer. He tilted his head, hoping he could look in her eyes, but she turned her head away from him. " I'm not leaving until we talk about this. You can't go on like this. You simply can't."

" Says who? " Walking to her bedroom she left him alone in her sitting room.

TBC...