Disclaimer: I don't Zoey 101 or this song
A/N: So here is the next song on the poll that won, I love this song, its again sad and depressing, like all the Rascell Flatts songs I use, lol. But I think I am better at them then the happy ones, at least I think so. I know I haven't written anything in a while, but a friend of mine go me hooked on a book series and I just had to read it. If you are looking for a great series to read I highly recommended Twilight, these books are awesome. If you like romance, and vampires and werewolves and cute fluffy humor, you will love this series. It only took me about four days to read the three books that have been published so far.
Alright I am going to stop rambling and let you read this song fic. I am proud of it so I hope you enjoy, it read and review.
Enjoy!
Words I Couldn't Say
In a book in a box in the closet
In a line in a song I once heard
In a moment on front porch late one June
In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon
Logan sat in his living room, absentmindedly flicking through channels on the TV. He wasn't really paying attention to the images or words that passed through his head. Finally he just threw the remote down and sighed.
He couldn't concentrate on anything these days. Nothing seemed to penetrate his mind or his memory. Nothing seemed to be able to affect him in any way anymore. Everyone was able to notice; all his friends were constantly calling and asking how he was. He had lost his latest contract with an upcoming movie because he just wasn't able to put effort into it. The reason for the departure was that he didn't seem to care and was always distracted; at least that's what they had said.
Logan laughed, of course he was distracted. He had lost the only person he loved all his life and everything he saw and heard now a day's reminded him of her. Every song and whisper of the wind reminded him of the words he wasn't able to say. Words that if had just uttered them once, she would be sitting next to him, right now. If he was able to say what was in his heart and hadn't seen such a coward he wouldn't feel so empty and cold as he did now.
Gthere it was at the tip of my fingers
There it was on the tip of my tongue
There you were and I had never been that far
There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms
And I let it all slip away
Logan sighed and placed his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. If he was still enough and let his mind wander far enough, he could almost feel her. He could almost see her pretty face, those glorious signature glasses, her hair in simple braids and wide smile as he looked up at him. He sighed, she was so close, he could almost reach out and wrap his arms around her, but when he tried she disappeared. Just a wisp of smoke, just a faint memory.
Logan puffed out his cheeks and rubbed his face with his hands. He couldn't believe himself, he couldn't believe he let this happen. He had her right there, right beside him for so long. Every time he came home, she was there with a loving smile and kiss that stole his breath every time. She was always gushing over him, saying how much she loved and cared for him, but he never could say it back. He never showed how much he was capable of and how much she meant to him.
He had her right in his grasp but because he was so proud and stubborn he never was able to say what she need to hear. He allowed her to slip from his fingers.
What do I do now that you're gone
No backup plan, no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say
He could feel the tears at his eyes; he realized that he was alone, all alone. He had no idea what to do with himself. He was alone, and it was his entire fault.
What was he supposed to do now? Go on with his life? Get his head back on his shoulders, get a new movie deal and act like none of this mattered? How was he supposed to go do that? How was he supposed to pick up all the pieces of his heart and just tape them back together and move on? Did he even possess something strong enough to hold them together?
He smacked his forehead and ground his teeth together, anger emitting from all parts of him. Yes, he did posses something to piece back together his heart, or at least at one time he did. She could easily place the pieces in their places, but she never would again.
He would never get a second chance; he had no backup plan. He never saw himself without her; he never imagined the scene that was playing out in front his eyes right now. He stared at the tv, no sound reached his ears. He felt as if he was in a bubble, and nothing could touch him. The only sound he heard was those hideous ugly words that he couldn't let cross his lips, and he couldn't stand it.
There's a rain that'll never stop falling
There's a wall that I've tried to take down
What I shouldn't said just wouldn't pass my lips
So I held back and now we've come to this
And it's too late now
Logan stared around the room and he swore that the walls were pressing in on him. He had felt like this every day, since she left, over year ago. Every day when he walked outside, even if the sun was shining and birds were singing, he felt as if he was carrying along his own personal rain cloud. His days seemed to be all dark and dreary and he never could shake it.
He couldn't believe he left it get this far, that he let himself shrink into this dark and damp hole. There was no way out of this; he couldn't see anything above or around him. He wanted to kick himself for what he did to let his happen. He never let the words that were written on his heart, escape his lips. He could never express how truly he loved her, he never told any of that to her, at least not out loud. But it was too late now; he would never get a chance to correct this now.
And the words I couldn't say
I should have found a way to tell you how I felt
Now the only one I'm telling is myself
He didn't stop them this time, he didn't wipe them away or try to hide them. He didn't care anymore, he let the tears flow. He was allowed to cry, he told himself, he had lost the love of his life because he was too stupid and stubborn to say what he felt.
Well now he was alone, and he had no one to tell any of this too. He was here in this empty, silent house and he couldn't stand it. He wanted to scream and hurt himself for all the hurt he caused her. He would take back all those hours and days and say those simple words that he was only telling himself these days.
"I love you, Quinn," Logan sighed into the empty silence, always and forever to the silence.
What do I do, what do I say
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say
A/N: I know its not very long, but I think its still decent. I have to go finish my book, so I am slightly eager, lol. Well review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.