Night and Day. Sun and Moon. Black and White. Love and Hate. Edward and Jacob. All so very different, yet, all so very similar.
Wow. I think I'm becoming way too philosophical these days. Ah well, what do you expect? It's not everyday you find yourself life where the two most important people to you are mythical…right?
I've been keeping a journal lately. You never know when you'll be kicking the bucket… I think I'm the only one I know that says that hopefully. Anyways, I even named my diary. Its name is Diary.
Sighing at my unimaginativeness, I start to scribble miserably on the paper.
Dear Diary, It's only been a few days back from Italy and I can't sleep.
Edward is on one of his "camping trips" again. I really wish he was here with me right now, but I am relieved to have a little time with my thoughts. Lately, I've been trying to straighten out my feelings for Edward and Jacob.
Don't get me wrong! I know I love Edward with all my being… but I also care about Jacob. He was the one that kept me going when I was broken.
Edward…He was so aloof and distant to others, yet he fell in love with me. I still can't believe it myself to this day. How can anyone so beautiful and perfect fall in love with someone like me? He can be so dark and mysterious at times, but when he comes out of the shadows, he is like the sun, too beautiful to touch. He tells me time and again that he isn't good or me, but I never listen. Nothing can keep me away from the one I love.
Jacob…Somehow, in some odd way, he became my best friend. Always welcoming me and always smiling, he too became my sun. How ironic. As Edward is pale, Jacob is dark.; and as I thought Edward was too good for me, Jacob too can find a better person to love who will love him as I can not. Jacob also became beautiful in a way Edward was not. Rugged, natural. He made Edward's other worldliness utterly obvious.
Even their ages are in conflict with each other. Edward with his decades upon decades of wisdom and Jacob's youthful experience are each on different ends of the spectrum.
How is it possible that the first person I really talk to happens to be another mythical creature found only in horror books? I really do think something is wrong with me. Never able to fully relate with my fellow humans, yet more than capable of finding a kindred spirit in the non humans. How strange.
Still, those two are so strangely similar. The same dark mood swings, the human instincts buried underneath other instincts, and even the thought that they know how to take care of me better than myself…so pushy…
And of course, they detest each other. Yet, for some unknown reason, they both love me.
How is that possible? Back in Phoenix, I was a nobody. Sure, I had one or two friends, but ever since I came to Forks, I've lost all contact with them. For all I know, they've forgotten me.
How in the world did a little town called Forks change my whole life?
I sigh once again and stop writing. I wonder when Edward will come back… He told me he'd come to my house around 3:00 a.m. and to not stay up waiting for him.
"Bella, I know you've been having trouble sleeping. Please just try and not stay up. Humans need their sleep." He teased.
Exasperated. That's what I felt.
"How can I not sleep without you? I need you with me." I said pitiably… Woe is me…
His eyes softened, "I promise to always come back to you, Isabella Swan. Always."
Finally, I started to yawn and then laid back in bed. I thought back to his words and suddenly felt cool arms wrap around me.
"Edward?"
"Who else? And why are you still awake? I thought I told you not to wait up for me." he said, "Now sleep…And I love you".
"Well, I couldn't sleep and I love you too," I huffed, trying to sound annoyed. He knew I was just faking it and kissed me before pulling me towards him again.
Always. I closed my eyes with a smile.