Disclaimer; i own nothing but the reader's basic personality and if y'all want that, you can have it lol
"You have to take responsibility for your actions." Ross had demanded, showing the havoc the lot of you had wreaked all over the world. "While some see you as heroes, a great many see you as vigilantes."
You had felt smaller than an ant as he stared you down, eyes beaming directly into yours when he pulled up a video of what you'd done in Sokovia. You had the ability to manipulate the elements, and the gust of wind you'd used to take out a hoard of Iron Legion bots also leveled a whole - empty - block. You had sunk in your chair, eyes darting to Steve's as he reached out to take your hand with a sorry gaze.
"That's enough." Steve had commanded, the clip of Wanda accidentally sending Rumlow through an office building playing behind him. "Cut it off, you made your point Ross." Then the accords had been introduced, landing in front of you on the table with a resounding bang.
'Approved by 117 countries' is all you could hear. 117. 117 countries saw you all as a liability, as borderline a problem. 117 countries wanted you to take responsibility for what you'd done. Where did that leave all of you then? You didn't want to be owned by government officials, with agendas and problems that didn't fit your job description. That's why you signed up for the Avengers in the first place, so you wouldn't be some lab rat. Steve's hand tightened in yours, your eyes meeting his as he gave you and encouraging smile before glancing over at Tony.
"The UN meets in Vienna three says from now, talk it over."
You had read through the gist of the accords, double and triple checking for loopholes or any kind of mistreatment of you all as humans and so far you couldn't find any. Sam and Rhodey had been getting into it all afternoon, something about medals and criminals but you weren't really paying attention as you switched between watching Steve read the accords and Tony sitting despondently - he seemed utterly concentrated.
"I have an equation." Vision started, earning groans from Sam but you were willing to hear the android man out. And you were glad you did because he made far too much sense. Strength had always bred challenge, Steve's immediate defensiveness sitting heavily on your chest. You had never felt so disconnected from him then in that moment. You couldn't figure out what he was thinking, didn't know what that stone cold expression on his face meant but you knew Steve, knew he'd make the right choice and you'd probably follow right along with it.
"Tony, you're being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal." Natasha pointed out what you'd all already noticed. Tony shifted and it was like a cold breeze through the room.
"It's because he's already made up his mind." Steve's jaw tightened, hand crumpling the papers a bit as Tony stood. Your eyes went wide, mind catching up to your eyes and relaying the message of understanding. That wasn't despondent posture you'd noticed. It wasn't concentration, it was acceptance and the relaxation in his choice.
"Actually, I'm nursing an electromagnetic headache. That's what's going on, Cap. It's just pain. It's discomfort. Who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?" Tony deflected. He tapped his phone against the wireless photo display, letting a photo of a young boy none of you recognized pop up on the screen. "Oh, that's Charles Spencer by the way. He's a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul... before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charlie didn't want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where, Sokovia." You looked away from the photo with tears stuck in your throat. You had been the one to level most of Sokovia. "He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass. There's no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, if we're boundary-less, we're no better than the bad guys."
"Tony, someone dies on your watch, you don't give up." What was Steve doing? Did he just not hear what Stark said? Responsibility needed to be taken for what you'd all done.
"Who said we're giving up?"
"We are if we're not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blames." You were this close to arguing him when Rhodey cut you off.
"I'm sorry. Steve. That... That is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we're talking about. It's not the World Security Council, it's not SHIELD, it's not HYDRA."
"No, but it's run by people with agendas and agendas change."
"That's good. That's why I'm here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stop manufacturing."
"Tony, you chose to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don't let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own." Why was Steve fighting this so much? He had a good point but was he fighting being under supervision or afraid of another Hydra-Shield situation?
"If we don't so this now," You finally broke in, "Do you think it'll be done to us?" Tony nodded. They'd force your hand.
"You're saying they'll come for me, and you." She placed her hand on your arm, accepting your pained smile with one of her own. She'd been your best friend through all this - minus Steve, of course. But she understood you in a way no one else could.
"We would protect you, both of you." Vision explained. But they couldn't dedicate their lives to protecting yours when there was a whole world out there.
You had never felt so confused in your life with both sides of the coin having equally valid opinions. You had to take responsibiliy, that was the agreed upon consensus but how? By letting others help decide so it was less likely for there to be so much collateral or was it truly just shifting blame around so it didn't rest on all of you? Or was it arrogant like RHodey said to think you could make decisions that involved innocent lives when aliens and sentient AI robots were involved?
"Perhaps Tony's right." All of your heads went on a swivel to Natasha. What? "If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer but if we take it off, then nothing." The way Sam's neck elongated, hands folding over his chest as he leaned closer would have been comical in any other situation but you could feel an impending fight and for once, looking in Steve's eyes didn't calm you in the slightest because you still couldn't tell what he was thinking.
"I'm sorry, aren't you the woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?" Sam exclaimed. "Then released all the Shield files?"
"I'm just reading the terrain." She explained, rolling her eyes when Tony held up his hand. He was grinning like the cheshire cat.
"Focus up. I'm sorry. Did I mishear you or did you agree with me?"
"I want to take it back now."
"No, no, no. You can't retract it. Thank you. Unprecedented. Okay, case closed - I win." Steve's phone chiming interrupted the small moment of comedy, the look on his face telling you that no one would be winning today.
"i have to go." You stood with him, following him as he practically flew down the stairs. He stopped halfway, only to turn and drag you into his arms as tears welled in his eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"Peggy." he didn't have to say more. You simply let the moment be, forgetting about the accords and how you didn't know where you stood let alone where he would. You just held the man you loved, while he cried for the woman he never truly got to.
Sharon Carter was a beautiful woman with long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes to match. She held herself with a poise you'd seen in old photos of Peggy, but more than that, she held herself with a confidence you wished you could possess. So much confidence that when she started to speak, for the first time that day, you truly listened.
"Margaret Carter was known to most as a founder of SHIELD... but I just knew her as Aunt Peggy. She had a photograph in her office. Aunt Peggy standing next to JFK. As a kid, that was pretty cool. But it was a lot to live up to. Which is why I never told anyone we were related. I asked her once how she managed to master diplomacy and espionage in a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either. And she said, compromise where you can. But where you can't, don't. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move... it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in they eye and say " No, you move.""
It was in that one minute long speech, that one paragraph of profound thinking and intense truth that you made your decision. You don't know if it was the fact that Peggy Carter, the woman who stood up stronger then she fell, said it or if it was because you'd known all along and just needed a little shove in the right direction. Whatever it was, you finally felt settled for the first time since seeing the accords.
Then you looked over at Steve and it was like someone took your heart in their hands, crushing it with all their might. It was such a strong feeling, such deep emotion that you felt yourself tear up because bright blue was already looking back at you. The resilience in his eyes, the downright stubbornness of a man who was about to be the cause of an absolute shit show, made you question your own resolve enough that you don't think he realized the truth yet. Not like you had, because you knew it'd break his heart.
He wasn't going to sign those papers, but you had to.