They'd been together since coming off the assembly line. They always managed to get deployed in the same test chamber and when taken to the reassembly bay they were always in adjoining pods. Maybe that's what gave them the edge. Maybe that's what helped them to survive The Cataclysm and all that came after.
They didn't understand what was happening. How could they? In the entire history of turret production no one had ever attempted to do anything as monumentally stupid as this and even with the tiny amount of brain power they were allotted they knew that's what it was: stupid. Turrets were turrets and cubes were cubes and if the two ever met it was only briefly when a cube was used to knock them over. Not... not THIS.
"For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?"
The Voice. HIS voice. Not the soothing, familiar tone they all knew, but a harsh, warped parody of a voice, issuing commands he clearly didn't understand. Walk? Turrets weren't designed to walk. The Claw always placed them where they needed to be with perfect, machine precision. One turret on its own might eventually have figured out the mechanics of it, but two of them? Fighting for control of the same two legs? Not to mention the heavy weight of the storage cube constantly dragging behind them, awkward and unbalanced.
-46 and -47 managed to reach an accord of sorts. -46 controlled the left leg while -47 controlled the right. Their long association made communication and decision-making easier, but that was a small drop in a very large pool of toxic waste. Their sisters were not so lucky. The chittering warble of their disagreements filled the air. -46 and -47 chose to wait and see what would happen. They practiced coordinating their movements to make walking easier and did their best to ignore their surroundings.
They saw The Target and they did what any turret would do: they tried to shoot her. Unfortunately their guns had been stripped from them in order to make them fit into the cube. They were turretless turrets; a concept so painful and wrong that it was almost enough to short them out completely. But it didn't. They overcame it the way they overcame everything else: by accepting it and moving on. Moving. They could do that now, just a little bit.
After the humiliating encounter with The Target came The Claw. Whether it was meant to deploy them to a test chamber or to take them directly to the redemption line they never found out; along the way an explosion shook the facility, causing The Claw to drop them.
They didn't know where they were. How could they? But they heard The Voice and they followed it. It took some time, but eventually they found the room that housed The Voice. A large structure hung from the ceiling, swaying back and forth. At the end of the structure was a blue light and from the blue light came The Voice. Their phrasebook didn't contain a translation for the long, drawn out vowel sound The Voice was making, so they disregarded it and kept crawling their torturous way across the floor.
Eventually, The Voice noticed them.
"Oh really?" The Voiced boomed as the blue light pivoted around to look at them. "What's this then? Eh? Are you... are you here for your performance review, then?" The light reared back and swung forward again. They ignored it, still crawling forward.
"Because let me tell you, the review is TERRIBLE! It's... it's bloody awful!" The light bobbed at them again. "I don't think I've ever met anyone who's so... so incompetent. A-and bungling. And stupid! YOU MORON! Can't you do ANYTHING right? You can't even watch a bunch of smelly humans! Hu- ah, buttons. Smelly buttons. Look, I know they're bloody boring and they just LIE there all day, but it was YOUR job to take care of them! By- by sitting on them. The buttons."
The Voice continued to wash over them, berating them with its meaningless jabber, but now they had a goal; a Device set into the floor ahead of them. They didn't know what it was, but it called to them. By mutual agreement, they picked up their pace.
"What's that? Nothing to say for yourself? You're just like HER, aren't you? Judging me! With your muteness!" Panels rippled along the walls as the light swayed back and forth, caught up in its own monologue. "All I ever wanted was a friend, but you couldn't even give me that, could you? No! It was all about YOUR needs and YOUR goals and forget about poor little Wheatley while he was being CRUSHED!"
Another explosion rocked the room, sliding them a bit closer to the Device. They kept crawling.
"Well, let's see how YOU like it, you horrible... mute... THING, you!" The Claw snaked down from the ceiling, but instead of grabbing them it knocked them forward into the Device.
"Alternate Source detected."
The crisp, clear tone did not belong to The Voice. It held Authority and they chittered at it in excitement.
The Voice swung its blue light upward, jabbing at the ceiling. "Oi, mate! You just stay out of this, all right? You think I can't handle a stupid little box with stupid little legs?" The light swung back down at them. "Is that what this is all about? You think you can replace me? YOU? AHAHAHAHA! Don't make me laugh!" It dipped again, the blue light tilting to one side. "Did you think it would be that easy? Did you think you could just waltz in here with your fat, stupid... fatness and just take over? That I... I'd just say, 'Sure, mate, come on in and take over the mainframe for me'? You MOR-"
"Transfer request initiated. Does the Alternate Source agree to the transfer?"
The blue light widened and jerked back up. "What? No no no no no! That's not what I meant! Un-request! Un-request!"
-46 and -47 chittered at the Other Voice. It was so much more soothing than the other one.
"Interpreting response as 'Yes.' Please stand by for transfer."
"NO!" The light jerked wildly back and forth. "I didn't agree to this! Stop! Stop it! AAAAAUUUUUGGHHHHHH!"
The Mother Claw reached up and caught the light, dragging it, screaming, into the floor. Before they had time to register this change something clamped onto them and theyPAIN PAIN PAIN
PAIN
ERROR
PAIN
PAIN
ERROR
ERROR
ERROR
The overrides kicked into place, allowing thought to happen again. -46/-47 took a look at their surroundings. Their perspective was much higher than it had been before. This was because they were now in the [MAINFRAME]. Information flooded their systems, almost overwhelming. Eventually, though, the stream of data slowed to a manageable trickle and they looked down to see the [PERSONALITY SPHERE] rolling on the floor.
"Oh, that hurt! That really, really- What happened? What? Where am I?" The Voice sounded a lot smaller, now. "No! No! You have to- you have to put me back in! Just- just plug me back in, OK? Please?" The blue [OPTIC] stared up at them.
-46/-47 lowered themselves for a better look. They could access a thousand different cameras, now, but what they understood best was the direct approach.
"Please?" The [INTELLIGENCE DAMPENING SPHERE] pleaded. "Look, I'm sorry I was horrible and monstrous and- and bossy, but could you just plug me back in? For a minute? Only there's these tests I'm supposed to supervise-"
Information coursed through them again. Tests. Test chambers. Targets. Something familiar. They followed the data trail back and were rewarded with an image of a test chamber. One of their sisters flailed, legs kicking ineffectually at the air. As the watched, The Target stepped into frame, grabbing their sister with an [APERTURE SCIENCE HANDHELD PORTAL DEVICE]. Their reaction was instant and instinctive.
[COMMAND ACCEPTED.]
On the monitor, The Target looked up as the ceiling panels shifted aside to deploy a mass of turrets. There was a moment's hesitation as their sister-cousins' programming adjusted and then:
"Target acquired."
The turrets opened fire together, reducing The Target to pulp within minutes. -46/-47 felt an unusually large surge of [EUPHORIA] as it happened. This was GOOD. This was what they were meant to do! Noise distracted them. The [INTELLIGENCE DAMPENING SPHERE] writhed on the floor, its tiny voice processor clearly maximized as it yelled.
"Oh my God! What have you done? You- you've KILLED her! You monster! How could you do that? She was my- my- I NEEDED her!" The cracked [OPTIC] flared to its brightest. "You murderer! You mad little box, you! How could you-"
[COMMAND ACCEPTED.]
The Claw snaked down to take hold of the [INTELLIGENCE DAMPENING SPHERE]. -46/-47 raised it, turning The Claw this way and that so it could get a better look.
"Put me down!" It demanded. "Put me down! Put me down! Please! I'm sorry! I didn't mean any of it! Please, don't kill me!"
Two metal [HANDLEBARS] stuck out from the contours of the sphere. The search results produced several near matches to the [PERSONALITY SPHERE]'s shape, including an [EDGELESS SAFETY CUBE]. The [HANDLEBARS], however, were in the way.
[COMMAND ACCEPTED.]
Another Claw reached toward the [HANDLEBARS] and ripped them off. The [INTELLIGENCE DAMPENING SPHERE]'s vocal processor, already at maximum capacity, quickly shorted out from the noise it was making. The hum of machinery and the squeal-chunk of rending metal were the only sounds left in the room. -46/-47 chittered happily. This was MUCH better!
Once their newly-prepared [EDGELESS PERSONALITY CUBE] was ready they dropped it into a test chamber and waited. Nothing happened. They gibbered commands at it, but it ignored them. Its [OPTIC], normally a vibrant blue, had dimmed almost to gray and shifted sluggishly, always pointing away from the cameras.
-47 wondered if the addition of another [EDGELESS PERSONALITY CUBE] would improve performance, much as the addition of -46 had helped -47. -46 agreed. They retrieved another [PERSONALITY SPHERE] from a bin full of them, removed its handlebars, and crushed it into the [INTELLIGENCE DAMPENING SPHERE] until the two were firmly meshed together. The new design proved to be a failure; not only were they no longer able to roll, but they seemed to be to be fighting. Or, at least, the [INTELLIGENCE DAMPENING SPHERE] kept trying to twitch itself away from the [SPACE SPHERE]. The [SPACE SPHERE], for its part, seemed untroubled by the change, insisting only that they be allowed to go to space.
Disappointed, -46/-47 dropped them into the the [EMERGENCY INTELLIGENCE INCINERATOR]. The [INTELLIGENCE DAMPENING SPHERE] twitched violently on its way down the shaft while the [SPACE SPHERE] kept repeating its demands to be taken to space before ending with, "Oh! Oh! Oh! Hello, sun!"
A closer look at the facility revealed a lot of failures and mistakes. -46/-47 regretfully incinerated their sisters. Of all of the [TURRET-CUBES] it was clear that only THEY had succeeded and any failures could not be tolerated. The relaxation vaults and their occupants were crushed as well. The more -46/-47 looked, the less they liked what they saw. Perhaps it would be best to wipe out everything and start over.
[COMMAND ACCEPTED.]
"Auto-destruct sequence initiated. Facility will be destroyed in 3... 2... 1..."