Author's note: Wow, my first ever Breath of Fire fanfic ^^. It's set a few nights after the whole incident at Angel Tower. I loved that entire scene! But then it got me thinking...ten years is an awfully long time, even for a Guardian. And when Garr meets Ryu again, the Guardian's torn up with guilt. So I wrote this little ficlet. I wrote it in one sitting, which is pretty impressive for me. And if you're all wondering about why Garr has Ryu's bag, it's because when they meet up again, Garr somehow has all of Ryu's stuff. Yes, it puzzled me as well.
This fic isn't my best work, but then again, it is my first ever BoF one *shrugs* Let me know what you think of it!
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Regrets
By Rayamon
It was a cold wind that blew over the mountains.
The navy blue sky sparkled with the stars and the full moon hung low over the rocky peaks. The black crags of the range pierced the velvet of the sky like a row of jagged dragon's teeth, and the darkness poured forward like blood. One tooth rose high above all others, glowing dimly in the night, smoke curling gently into the air: Mount Zublo. The wind gently wafted the smoke away, dispersing it into the crisp breeze.
He stood and watched it.
Standing so silent he appeared part of the mountain itself, he raised his head and gazed at the stars. They reflected in his deep blue eyes, making them dance with light. They shone off his smooth, torn hide and the claws flanking his wings. It highlighted the sharpness of his jaw and muscles, making the beads around his neck shine like diamonds.
Sighing, he turned away from the sparkling tapestry and made his way to where two rocks had formed an overhang. A pile of sticks and scraggly vegetation surrounded by a ring of stones marked the basis for his campfire. Snapping his wrist back, his spear materialised in a bursting arc of flame. Settling down by the edge, he picked up a rock and struck the spear blade until a small spark appeared, leaping into the dry foliage. It flickered and he lent down, blowing gently until the ember began to consume the rest of the twigs, growing in strength. Leaving the flames to take hold, he reached over and dragged over his meal; a small mountain goat that was unfortunate enough to cross his path. Quickly and expertly skinning and preparing it, it was soon cooking over the fire. Sticking his spear point into the dusty soil, he lent back and looked back at the stars.
Was it really right? Was it right to do what we did?
Just because a god believes it doesn't make it right.
A spot of fat spat from the fire and landed on his cheek, yet he hardly felt it because of his thick leathery hide. He looked down and felt the rough bandage around his upper arm. A faint smile traced his lips as he remembered who had caused his wound. It wasn't everyday that someone managed to get one over him. And one so young...he shook his head to rid himself of the smiling face that came to his mind's eye. The face that had held such an expression of confused betrayal and puzzlement...the face of a child forced to grow up far too fast, yet who still had that innocence about him...
He growled and slammed his immense fist into the rock. Stop thinking about him! You can't change the past with regrets!
Turning round, he took his meal off the fire and began to eat. Within a few minutes the bones were clean and cast aside. Feeding a few more sticks into the fire, he gazed into the flames.
We can't leave! Ryu's still down there!
We don't have time, Nina! We have to go!
But Momo! Ryu's still there! We can't leave him!!
Their voices haunted his soul more than the look in the dragons' eyes when he killed them. A look of pity and sad resignation...
Why didn't they fight back? Why did they let us kill them??
If they were so evil, then why didn't they try to defend themselves? Why did they let him and the other Guardians kill them one by one?
The boy wasn't evil. Far from it. It was as if he was just a normal human child. When he and Momo were setting up camp, he played with Nina and Peco, running and giggling like he hadn't a care in the world. Nina would teach him to make daisy chains, and he would teach her how to cartwheel. They'd go to the stream and watch the fish swim by, and pick flowers to bring them back.
These are for you, Garr.
Why?
Because you're my friend.
Your friend. He grimaced. Did he really deserve to be called his friend? After what he did? The boy was so trusting, so innocent... and look what he did to him.
Why are you doing this, Garr?
He glared at his spear as if it was all its fault. It was his duty, wasn't it? The boy was the last dragon and he was a Guardian. He had to kill him...
Didn't he?
He gaze flicked to a bag cast aside in the shadow of the rocks. He knew he shouldn't...but he reached over and drew it close.
It was a simple bag made out of cloth and leather, woven together. Crudely made, yet still he wouldn't part with it.
Why don't you get rid of it and buy a better one?
Because Rei made it for me.
That was all the boy wanted; to find his two adopted brothers. He didn't care that he was the last of his race, or about the war 400 years ago, or that he had killed hundreds of his kind...all he wanted was for his family back.
I'll keep searching until I find them. I know Rei and Teepo wouldn't give up looking for me.
He reached into the bag and pulled out a little metal object. A dagger. In his massive hand it wasn't even as long as his finger.
That was the first weapon I ever got. Teepo and Rei taught me how to fight with it.
Next were some fishing lures. Ryu loved to fish. After that came a few healing items and some small keepsakes that were worthless to him but meant the world to Ryu.
A splinter of wood that had been burnt.
A single zenny coin, shiny from all the polishing.
A seashell, chipped and scuffed, with the letters 'R', 'R' and 'T' carved onto it.
Each told a story, unknown to him. A fragment from his house, a memory of happier times. Their first zenny they had ever got without stealing, found on the path to McNeil. A seashell from when they went down to the riverside, carved with their initials...
His hand closed around something else. He pulled it out and blinked, surprised.
It was a book.
A small one, bound in leather. Curiously, he opened it.
On the front page was a crude drawing of a little boy with blue hair, next to another boy with long purple hair and a much taller person with yellow fur and a tail. Above it, in big shaky letters, was the legend:
RYU BATESON'S DIARY
DON'T READ!
(THIS MEANS YOU, TEEPO!)
He chuckled as he imagined Ryu trying to keep the diary from his second brother. He turned to the first entry.
Dear diary
Look, it's my first entry! Rei said it would be good for me to keep a diary, and that it would help me learn to write. I didn't know what to write about, so Teepo said to write about what happened today. First I got up and had breakfast. It wasn't much, but there's not much to eat anyway. Rei went hunting and Teepo taught me how to climb a tree. We both got stuck and had to wait for Rei to come back and save us. That's the last time I follow Teepo up a tree!
He smiled as he read Ryu's shaky, uncertain handwriting. Turning the pages, he continued to read. He read about the battle with the Nue Chimera, about the raid on the McNeil mansion... and the attack by Balio and Sunder.
He frowned as Ryu poured his heart out into his diary. The page was stained, and he guessed it was from tears.
I failed them. I failed Rei and Teepo. But I'll get them back. I'll keep searching until I find them again, and we can all go back to how we used to be. Rei will go hunting, and he'll let me and Teepo come along. Then we'll go down to the stream and play in the water, trying to splash each other. Then we'll go back home and warm up by the fire, and Rei will tell me a bedtime story and tuck me in, and everything will be normal again...
He stopped reading. For once, the mighty Guardian couldn't go on. The pure innocence of Ryu, the certainty that his brothers were still alive...it was heartbreaking. He flicked a few pages ahead and stopped at an oddly drawn picture of himself. He read the scrawling handwriting around it.
We've got a new friend today! He's called Garr, and he won the Contest of Champions! He's so strong he even beat me when I was a dragon! He helped rescue us from Balio and Sunder, and came along with us. I like Garr. He's really scary looking, but I know he's nice. He protects us from all the bad monsters. I'm sure he'll help me find Rei and Teepo...
He flung the book away angrily. Why did Ryu trust him? He was a Guardian! He had massacred Ryu's kind! Yet Ryu just wanted to be friends with him!
But Garr! I don't want to fight you!
You're a dragon and it's my sworn duty to kill you!
The look on Ryu's face as he said it...he didn't want to fight back, yet he had to.
And for the first time ever, he felt the true power of the Brood.
Ryu was only a boy, yet he defeated him! If that was the case, then the Guardians would have stood no chance against the dragons if they had fought back. But why didn't they? Why did they let the Guardians kill them?
And now the last of their kind was dead...the power bursting through had killed him. His final scream echoed in his ears as the Kaiser crashed into existence, as the ceiling collapsed and the ground shook...
He only wanted to find his brothers. He didn't want the burden of being the last dragon. He only wanted to go back to those happy days in Cedar Wood...
He didn't deserve to die...
And it was all his fault!!
He was so willing to forgive, even when he had attacked him, betrayed him...
He wasn't evil.
And if he wasn't...were the others evil as well?
Was their goddess wrong?
Was he just a murderer?
Why didn't he know the answer???
Why didn't he know the truth???
Why don't you kill me?
I don't want to, Garr.
Why not? I killed all your people. I tried to kill you.
What does that matter?
I'm at your mercy. You defeated me in combat. Come and finish me off!
No. I'm not going to kill you.
Why not?
Because you're my friend.
He raised his head and something else sparkled in the starlight.
A single, crystal tear that slid down his sharp cheeks and splashed onto the dusty floor.
I'm sorry, Ryu...
The crackle of the flames was all that answered him.