This isn't technically a Halo crossover, but it is involved with the Halo universe (in the sense that it's where Red vs. Blue takes place). Anyhow, this is just sort of a pilot, and if it goes well, I may write more. Also, anything in parentheses is in spanish.
Disclaimer: I do not own Halo, Jimmy Neutron, or Red vs. Blue
The sun rose over the canyon that was known as Blood Gulch. The rays of the sun shone and started a bright new sunny day. A day full of prosperity, productiveness, and clever thinking.
"Caboose! Get that thing out of here!" cried Church.
"But there's nowhere else for it to go!" exclaimed Caboose.
"We're in a freaking no-mans land, there's plenty of room for that! Just get it out!" shouted Tucker.
"And take it where?" asked Caboose.
"Anywhere but here!" shouted Tucker.
"Uh oh," said Caboose, "I think it's going to explode now."
The explosive device Caboose was carrying that wasn't Andy exploded, knocking one of the walls off Blue Base, which pretty much sent the whole base crumbling down.
"Caboose! You freaking idiot!" cried Church.
"Now look what you did!" moaned Tucker.
"Oops," said Caboose.
"Oops doesn't even begin to cover this one!" shouted Church.
This was typical by the Blue Base. Unfortunately, Red Base wasn't that much different. Sure, they didn't have bombs destroying their base, but they had their own idiotic ways. Simmons was looking through a sniper scope and saw the Blue Base falling to the ground. Lopez was standing by his side, observing the same thing.
"Hey Sarge!" shouted Simmons, "The Blue Base just crumbled into pieces!"
"What? Is it Christmas already? And no one told me?" asked Sarge.
"Does that mean the war's over?" asked Grif.
"Nonsense," replied Sarge, "The war's not over until every damn Blue is as dead as a doornail! What did they teach you in military training?"
"I dunno," replied Grif, "I always slept through it. But I do remember them saying something about when to call it a day. I feel like calling this a day."
"Shut up, Grif," said Simmons, "You better look at this, Sarge."
"I'm looking at it right now," said Sarge, "The Blues are panicking like scared little children. Ah, what a good day to be Red!"
"But why would they destroy their own base without destroying ours?" asked Grif.
"They must be plotting to destroy our base from the inside!" exclaimed Sarge, "Those dirty Blues…
"Grif," said Simmons, "Stop putting dumb ideas into Sarge's mind. The Blues are just idiots."
"Hey guys!" exclaimed Donut, the pink armored Red who came from the bunker, "What's going on up here?"
"Those idiot Blues destroyed their own base!" replied Sarge.
"Oh no! That's terrible!" cried Donut.
"Yes, terrible," Simmons said sarcastically, "The enemy without a base is such a crisis."
"Maybe we should invite them to stay at our base until a new one is built!" proposed Donut.
"Are you crazy, Donut?" asked Sarge, "Then they'll just destroy our own base! That's gotta be part of their evil plan! Those dirty Blues…"
"Or we could just let them come over here, then we take them as prisoners," said Grif.
Everyone stared at Grif in disbelief, but it was not obvious to Grif as to why that was.
"Or not, bad idea," said Grif, "I'm gonna go grab a beer."
Once Grif was below deck, Sarge asked his squad, "So how about this? We invite the Blues over here, and then take them as our prisoners!"
"That's a great idea, sir!" said Simmons, sucking up to Sarge as usual.
"Now everyone's happy," exclaimed Donut.
"(You do realize that just gives the Blues a chance to destroy our base from the inside?)" asked Lopez.
"Glad you agree, Lopez," said Sarge, "It's the perfect plan!"
Little did they realize that the Blues were already on their way to attack the Reds.
"I can't freaking believe this just happened," said Tucker, who would not stop complaining.
"Oh quit your bitching!" shouted Church, "A little exercise won't hurt you."
"Yeah, that's fine and all, but why does Caboose get to drive the tank?"
Caboose was driving the tank next to Tucker and Church, and Sheila, an AI, was in the cockpit ready to attack. Sister was following not too far behind, along with Tex and Junior, Tucker's alien son.
"Yeah, why does he?" asked Sister.
"Because that way, even if he does something stupid, at least it'll hurt the Reds and not us," replied Church.
"Are you ready?" asked Caboose to the bomb that was next to him in the tank.
"Eh," replied Andy, "As ready as I'll ever be, I guess."
"Loading main cannon," said Sheila.
"Uh-oh!" cried Simmons, "The Blues are coming, and they're bringing the tank!"
"So they're not gonna destroy our base from the inside," said Sarge, "They're gonna blow it to kingdom come! Those dirty Blues…"
"Shall I get the Warthog started up?" asked Simmons.
"No," replied Sarge, "We don't stand a chance against that tank with the Warthog! We'll have to fight them in hand to hand combat!"
"What?"
"That's the manly way to do it, and it's our best option," said Sarge.
"(How does attacking a tank with our bare hands help us at all?)" asked Lopez.
"Exactly right, Lopez," replied Sarge.
"(Stupid old man,)" said Lopez.
"Glad you agree, Lopez," said Sarge, "Now let's go!"
The two teams marched towards each other, prepared for battle, and they were more serious than ever before. If the Blues couldn't have a base, then neither could the Reds. All of a sudden, there was a sudden earthquake. It was strong enough to send part of the rocky walls surrounding the valley crumbling.
"What the?" asked Sarge.
"What the hell was that?" cried Church.
"What the hell was that?" asked Grif.
"(What the hell was that?)" asked Lopez.
"Those walls just came tumbling down!" shouted Tex.
"Look up there!" cried Caboose.
Everyone looked up to see that the sky was no longer a bright, cloudless blue, but a series of thin green lines running horizontally and vertically across the pitch black void that was above them. They soon realized that they themselves were turning into green lines.
"What's going on?" asked Tucker.
"Why are you asking me as if I know?" asked Church.
Before anyone could say anything else, they were all transported away from Blood Gulch.
The Blues, with the exception of Sheila and Andy, were all recovering in a small lab that was unfamiliar to them. They were surrounded with gadgets they had never seen before, including a cheese ray. Sitting at the large computer with Blood Gulch on the screen was a small boy with a big head and brown hair shaped like an ice cream cone.
"Alright! It worked! I'm a genius!" exclaimed Jimmy Neutron.
Next to Jimmy were two kids about his age…one was fat with glasses and was wearing green overalls with clown shoes and an orange shirt. The other had a funny nose with a blue t-shirt of a purple superhero called Ultra Lord.
"That…was…AWESOME!" cried Sheen, "I wanna see that again!"
"Now can we bring Llama Boy here?" asked Carl.
"Carl! Is that all you think about?" asked Sheen.
"NO!" cried Carl, but then shortly muttered, "…yes."
"What the-? Where the hell are we?" asked Church.
"And who are these little twerps?" asked Tex.
"I can understand why you would be confused," said Jimmy Neutron, "I'm Jimmy Neutron, resident boy genius."
"Wouldn't have guessed that by his choice of friends," whispered Tucker.
"These are my friends, Carl and Sheen," said Jimmy.
"Yeah, that's great buddy, but what the hell is this place?" asked Church.
"This is my lab!" proclaimed Jimmy.
"Okay, you're either lying about this lab, or your age," said Church, "There's no way this is possible."
"And yet it is," said Jimmy, "It was thought impossible to bring avatars from cyberspace here in front of us, and yet here you are!"
"Avatars from Cy-What the hell are you talking about?" asked Tucker, who was now as confused as everyone else.
"That computer right there," said Jimmy, pointing to his large monitor, "That's where you came from."
The Blue Team, especially Tex and Church, stared in astonishment. They were looking at various views of Blood Gulch.
"Are we under it somewhere?" asked Tucker.
"Nope," replied Carl, "You're in Retroville!"
"Ooh! Are there any cowboys here?" asked Caboose.
"No, but we do have Ultra Lord!" exclaimed Sheen in reply.
"Is he a cowboy?" asked Caboose.
"Of course not," replied Sheen, "He's a unique, powerful, butt-kicking action hero!"
"Oh! So he's a cowboy!" exclaimed Caboose.
"I have a feeling those two would be great friends," said Tucker.
"I don't usually say this, but I totally agree with you on this one," replied Church.
"I just don't get how someone your age is this smart and not an AI at the same time," said Tex.
"AI?" asked Carl, "Is that supposed to be a name? It sounds like a cute name for a llama, hee hee hee!"
"No, Carl," replied Sheen, "AI is not a name. Psst, Jimmy," Sheen whispered aside to Jimmy, "What's the A stand for?"
"Artificial," replied Jimmy.
"Oh," replied Sheen, and after a prolonged silence, he asked, "What does the I…"
"Intelligence," responded Jimmy, without waiting for the last few words.
"It doesn't make sense to me how this kid is capable of doing all this without government or military assistance," said Church.
"And where the hell are the Reds?" asked Tucker, "If we're all taken from Blood Gulch, where did the Reds go?"
Somewhere in Downtown Retroville, kids were staring at the five army men heading towards the candy bar.
"That small building up ahead looks like a perfect place to find out where we can get a new base!" exclaimed Sarge.
"But Sarge," said Grif, "Shouldn't we be trying to find out where we are? Or better yet, find the Blues? They're probably as lost as we are."
"Nonsense!" exclaimed Sarge, "By now, they've probably already established a new base, and preparing to attack us!"
"I think it's a great strategy, sir," said Simmons, sucking up as usual.
"(Am I the only one who notices that this is just a normal town with little kids?)" asked Lopez.
"No, Lopez," replied Simmons, "It was Sarge's idea, not mine."
"(This is ridiculous,)" said Lopez.
To be continued...
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