'Normal', what's that?
A/N: This is an AU fic, there are no ninjas, no jutsu, but there are other supernatural stuff.
Warning: There will be male/male pairings, and it will be Naruto x Sasuke and Naruto x Others (Yet to be decided)
"There's no such thing as normal; it's all a matter of perspective."
Chapter 1: Naruto Uzumaki
When I was young, people liked to ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" No matter how many years have passed since then, my childhood dream remained the same – I want to be normal. Sadly, that was something I have yet to achieve even though I'm almost an adult now.
Maybe the reason I couldn't be normal is due to my weird (understatement really) family. Let's start with the person with the most power and age in the Uzumaki Household – my Grandma, Tsunade.
My Grandma is the mayor of a small but well-populated town named Konoha. In fact, her Grandfathers were the ones who founded the town. So it was no surprise that my family was seen as royalty of sorts by the townspeople, and I was their 'prince'.
You may think that growing up in such a privileged household meant that I was given the best of everything the world could offer. Unfortunately, that was certainly not the rosy picture my life paints. You see, my Grandma was a gambler, and a terrible one at that, so bad that everyone calls her 'The Legendary Sucker'. Behind her back of course, for nobody would be foolish enough to do that in her face, unless they want a one-way trip to the moon by way of her powerful fists.
Her gambling was so bad that we were often in debt, though due to her position in town the debt-collectors were rather polite when making their endeavors to retrieve payments. If it wasn't for my Grandpa, I think we would have had to sell the house and live in Grandma's office.
My Grandpa, another legendary person with the nickname 'The Legendary Super Pervert", is Jiraiya. He is well known for those ero-books he writes. Out of curiosity, I have read one of them and I don't understand the appeal at all. But it doesn't matter if I like those books or not; for others, many many others like them, so Ero-Grandpa has quite a nice income to balance out Grandma's gambling debts.
My Aunt Shizune is another strange person in the family. She is a wandering doctor that goes around healing who she deems worthy of her services. And she has a pet pig named Ton-Ton that follows her everywhere – even to the bathroom. Depending on her mood, she can be as sweet as a nightingale or as evil as the devil. Aunt Shizune is definitely a person I don't want to anger.
Well, that's all for my family members. My parents? I don't have any. Mama died giving birth to me and she never did reveal to anyone who my father was. All I knew is that he must have had the blue eyes that I inherited from, for nobody else in the family had blue eyes.
Ouch! Don't bite me Kyu-chan! All right all right! I'm sorry I forgot to include you!
Kyu-chan, the little fox that just bit me, is my pet. She would probably disagree and say that I'm her pet human instead. I met Kyu-chan many years ago when I was just a kid, and I'm still surprise at how she abandoned her natural habitat and followed me home on a camping trip I had in the local forests.
I think she's attracted to my hair. She has the tendency to chew on strands of my blond hair and her favorite resting place is the top of my head. It's good neck strengthening exercise to let her rest there, I suppose. And it's a good thing she's not that heavy.
So why do I want to be normal? Well, you know what they say, one always crave the thing they don't have. And 'normal' is one thing that's sorely lacking in my life.
It isn't normal to grow up dressed in pink and cute clothing meant for girls when I am a boy, right? And it's not normal that my Grandma is such a hardcore yaoi fan that she legalized same sex marriage in Konoha, even somehow getting the President of the country to agree to her whims.
And it's certainly not normal that I didn't even know my true gender until primary school during health class – I think I made top headline in the news that day when the school doctor found out that I was male, despite the pastel pink dress I was wearing, the long blond hair and sky blue eyes framed in thick dark lashes that suggested otherwise. Many people have called me a 'bishounen', but I really don't see how I can be defined as a pretty boy. I'm not! Really!
Well…I guess I'm a little on the short and slender side, but that's not all that uncommon. Lots of people are short and slim. Anyway, once I'd discovered my true gender, Ero-Grandpa wasted little time in educating me in the ways of a 'true man'.
Other children grew up on picture books of fairy tales; I grew up on porn literature. Peers my age giggle about the word 'sex', I hear the word so often that I don't really have much of a reaction to it. And the thing that most boys in puberty are obsessed with – boobs? I have no interest in that at all.
If your Ero-Grandpa engages you in helping him research and edit his porn books everyday, I guarantee you will soon become numb to seeing naked bodies of the fairer sex. There can be such a thing as too much boobs. Seriously, I mean it.
By the time I was a hot-blooded teenager getting ready for college, all I was excited for was to get out of this crazy household. I even suspected I was asexual for a period of time, until I discovered that I wasn't as impotent as I thought when I met Sasuke.
Sasuke Uchiha, the moody dark-haired boy my age, transferred into my class during the last year of my high school. There were so few young people in Konoha that his arrival was a huge deal. My classmates made a fuss over the new guy, especially the girls who were whispering 'Fresh Meat" in the back of the class, with maniac glints in their eyes. Once the last bell rung, they descended upon Uchiha like zombies upon their prey…I gave in to my urge to escape in case I became one of causalities during their madness.
Dashing out of the classroom, I was felt someone following close behind. It was Shikamaru Nara, one of my neighbors and childhood friend that my Grandma had attempted to *_shudders_* pair me with when I was a kid. Fortunately the Naras, though laidback, were also a sensible, smart bunch. They managed to turn down her offer of "Let Naruto be Shikamaru's bride" without offending her.
The two of us ran out of school and after giving each other a nod, went out usual separate ways. Shika usually meets up with his girlfriend Temari after school while I went home to do something I'm not very good at – studying. I'm not stupid; I just don't like studying very much. But if I want to get out of the evil clutches of Yaoi-fan Grandma and Ero-writer Grandpa, I've got to get grades good enough for a college out of town. And that means…yup…time to hit the school books again. Sigh…
The next day, I went through my usual morning routine, said goodbye to Kyuchan, and left for school. There was a crowd of fangirls cooing and gushing at the new kid's desk, which I carefully avoided. I wouldn't want to catch whatever they were having. Dumping my bag next to my desk, I went out to a nearby vending machine to get some milk – maybe it'll help make me taller.
Inserting the only coins I have into the machine, I was about to press on the button for my choice of drink when a pale hand intercepted and pressed on 'Tomato Juice" instead. What the hell?!
Turning around, I came face to face with the new kid, so close that I could see the tiny bits of silver in his onyx eyes and feel his minty breath on my lips. My heart pounded furiously and I was so shocked by his actions that I simply froze. The bastard was trapping me to the vending machine using his slightly taller and bigger body, and arms on both sides of my head. And where the hell does he think he was putting his leg on!
My entire face flushed red as I felt his knee nudging me between my legs in a very sensitive area. The part that was asexual all of my seventeen years in life until this moment, where blood was rushing first to my face, then gushing down south to a part I've always thought was in a coma or something. Oh no, it was not asleep, not at all if the twitching in my pants was any indication of this strange, untimely awakening.
The cause of my awakening leaned forward and put his wet lips (he must have been licking them, I registered in the back of my mind) next to my ear, whispering one word in a husky voice that changed my life forever.
"Mine".