Summary: Zephyr hadn't wanted a partner for a lot of reasons. Some he voiced easily - arrogantly - such as not wanting someone to slow him down. But other reasons were harder to articulate. Yet somehow Zephyr manages to accumulate not just one partner, but four.

If he could travel with Allen, Sara, Lippy, and Kana forever... that would be wonderful, wouldn't it?

Notes: Written for Aromantic Awareness Week 2019.

I've got a ridiculous number of aspec headcanons for the Tales series, but for Tales of Link?
Aromantic Zephyr
Questioning Aromantic Kana
Ace-spec Sara
Demisexual/Biromantic Allen
Aromantic Lippy

Oh, hey, look, I headcanon them all as being aspec.

This fanfic centers on Zephyr and his aromanticism, so the other characters orientations are really only alluded to at most.

Found Family (And Other Clichés)

Zephyr hadn't wanted a partner for a lot of reasons. Some he voiced easily - arrogantly - such as not wanting someone to slow him down. But other reasons were harder to articulate.

"You're such a freak. Or a liar. Either way, stay away from me, you jerk."

The main reason being... he didn't want a repeat of the past. If Zephyr was going to wind up alone anyway, then why bother partnering at all?

Of course, life had a way of never going as planned.

Zephyr didn't want to like Allen. It wasn't like the other envoy was going to stick around. Except...

Except if Zephyr was being honest, he did want Allen to stay. He was sweet and kind and made Zephyr smile. And it would hurt all the more when, inevitably, Allen left him behind.

But a few days and a new scar later...

Mostly Zephyr just hoped Allen wouldn't realize just how much Zephyr wanted to cling to him and ask him to always be there.

The first time Allen kissed Zephyr, it was a quick peck on the cheek after an adrenaline filled battle left them both nearly passed out in the middle of a forest. A forest now populated by significantly fewer monsters than when the envoys first arrived. They'd both collapsed on the ground side by side, exhausted and each seriously considering just passing out right there, when Allen rolled on his side and impulsively closed the gap to brush his lips lightly against Zephyr's cheek.

It was weirdly nice.

As Allen flopped onto his back once more, giving a weary sigh as he did, Zephyr brought a hand up to his cheek in startled confusion.

There weren't a whole lot of reasons Zephyr could think of to do that and... Allen didn't... did he? Zephyr's stomach dropped at the thought, intensely uncomfortable at the idea that Allen might feel that way. Because Zephyr couldn't... he just, he couldn't feel that way back and what if...

"What was that for?" Zephyr demanded, hoping he was wrong.

Allen just laughed, the sound liquid and lovely. "Sorry. I should have asked first. Just... you saved me from getting my arm cut off back there. Felt like a nice way to say thanks." He paused a beat, then added in a quieter voice, "if you didn't like it, I won't do it again."

Panic subsiding, Zephyr relaxed. "No, it was fine. I don't mind." He fumbled with his thoughts for a moment and then, hoping he was doing an okay job of playing it cool, added, "I didn't know anyone used kisses to say thank you, though."

"I... I don't really think they do. I just... its always been instinctive of me to do things like that. People... tend to think I'm weird for it. But... to me a kiss on the cheek is just a platonic gesture. Like a hug. I don't really get why other people read so much other into it, so I usually don't do it." Allen blushed, adding, "I guess I just... forgot with you."

"So... it'd be cool then if I did the same thing?"

"The... same thing?" Uncertainty flickered across Allen's face.

"Yeah... kiss on the cheek to say thanks?" Zephyr barely managed to get the words out, he was so worried he sounded like an idiot. But then Allen grinned at him.

"Actually, that'd be awesome."

While it wasn't the second time Allen kissed Zephyr (or even the dozenth), it came as a shock when, one day, Allen kissed Zephyr smack on the mouth.

They'd been sitting together on one of the two beds in the room they'd rented at an Inn – the first they'd stayed in after a week of slogging around in the rain only to find that some mercenaries had managed to, barely, bag the monster they'd been sent after. Allen had picked up a book at the bazaar they'd wandered through before finding the Inn and they'd been reading it together as they often did, sitting next to one another, Zephyr's arm around Allen's shoulders so that they could peer at the pages together, taking turns reading aloud.

Allen had turned to look at Zephyr, to ask some question... and pressed a chaste kiss against Zephyr's mouth instead. Then the brunet had immediately pulled away, panicked, and started scuttling off the bed.

"Woah!" Zephyr grabbed Allen's hand right as the other envoy's left foot touched the floor. "Don't just run away. We need to talk about this."

"I'm sorry. That was inappropriate of me..."

"Maybe, yeah, but why did you do that?" Because Zephyr did not get it. At all. Aside from kissing Allen on the cheek, Zephyr had never felt interested in kissing anyone. And even that much would never have occurred to him if Allen hadn't done it first.

"I just... I care about you a lot," Allen muttered, looking down at the bed covers with a blush. "I... I have a crush on you."

"A... crush?" Zephyr had to force himself not to recoil. "On me?" He did not squeak.

He didn't. There had to be a better word than squeak to describe the way he'd sounded. (There really, really, wasn't.)

"Yes. Is that really so hard to believe?" Now there was faint amusement on Allen's face, even if his prime emotion at moment was clearly fear that he'd done something unforgivable. "You spend all this time helping me train, chose me as your permanent partner even though I'm so inexperienced... we cuddle a lot... and you're..." Allen blushed bright red. "You're absolutely gorgeous." He looked Zephyr up and down and Zephyr actually found himself squirming slightly at the implication there. "But I could tell you don't feel the same. I didn't want to make things weird and now I've screwed up and made it weird anyway."

Zephyr felt like he could breathe again because... because Allen already knew Zephyr didn't reciprocate his feelings. That was... that was good. He could deal with this. "You find me attractive? What's that even like?" Or he could just blurt out the question that had been bothering him for years.

"Y-you don't...? You've never felt that way? About anyone?" Allen asked, his voice growing gentle.

Zephyr shook his head, releasing Allen's hand so that he could pluck nervously at the quilt beneath them. "When I first started my combat training, all my peers were experiencing crushes and romantic interludes and there was one guy who thought he could get away with dating three people at once without telling any of them about the rest, even though at least one of them was openly in a poly relationship herself. I didn't understand why they were wasting so much time on relationships when we barely had time for ourselves between all the tactical courses and combat classes... it didn't occur to me for a long while that none of them were choosing to feel the way they did about each other. One of my closest friends at the time... I never realized she felt any different about me than I did for her until she finally confessed her feelings. When I told her I didn't feel the same... that I'd never felt that way about anyone...

"She said I was a freak and I thought... maybe she's right. It's one of the reasons I worked alone until meeting you." And what if that was happening all over again?

Allen frowned, something angry sparking in those expressive eyes of his. "She was an idiot. May I hug you?"

Zephyr nodded, startled, and felt relieved at the feeling of Allen's arms around him. Allen didn't think he was a lying freak. Thank the gods.

"Okay, so... I am romantically attracted to you too," Allen admitted. "But... well, I mean I had hoped you'd feel the same, but I'm not upset you don't. A little disappointed... not with you, though. Just, in general." He reluctantly pulled out of their hug. "I'm sorry... I hope my feelings don't make you uncomfortable. You're not just my partner, you're my best friend. I couldn't stand it if I lost either one of those."

Zephyr breathed out a sigh of relief and reached over to ruffle Allen's hair. He smiled at the other envoy. "I couldn't stand to lose my partner and best friend either," he admitted. "So... now what? I don't want things to get weird between us... but..." he had no idea what to do or to stop doing to make it easier for Allen.

They were always so close. What if Zephyr had to give up that closeness... the cuddling while reading and the thank-you kisses on the cheek and... Zephyr did love him. Just not the way it seemed Allen loved him.

Allen hesitantly kissed him on the cheek. "Would it be to weird if we just keep on the way we always have? I don't want to make you uncomfortable, so if you need to put up boundaries then I'll respect that."

"I like the way things are between us," Zephyr confirmed, scrambling back to where he'd been sitting before the kiss on the mouth had happened. "Can we just... finish reading the chapter?"

Allen laughed and grinned and moved back to where he'd been sitting before, leaning his head against Zephyr's shoulder while Zephyr's arm went back around him. "This is perfect. You're... sure you're okay with me doing this even though my feelings...?"

"I wish I could return them," Zephyr muttered. "You mean so much to me Allen and now that I know how you feel, I wish I could feel the same way."

"I do too… but… I wouldn't change you. Not one bit. Not even to make you return my feelings." Allen's voice turned fierce towards the end. "What we already have is too important."

Lippy joined the team when they started going after higher level ruinators created from the most powerful seeds of ruin. He was a bizarre, domestic creature who loved cooking and cleaning and mother henning them to no end. But sometimes he got the weirdest notions in his head...

"I don't want to intrude on your time alone together. I can get another room," Lippy insisted.

"What the hell? Lippy, I don't know what nonsense you think you're hinting at, but there's no reason we can't all share the room. Allen, you talk some sense into him." Rolling his eyes and turning towards the innkeeper, Zephyr repeated the request for one room, two beds, and a small cot for Lippy to sleep on. They didn't have the gald to waste on two rooms, especially when Lippy was so tiny. It wasn't like they wouldn't have enough space.

Zephyr turned back to his companions to see Allen blushing brightly and Lippy pressing his front paws to his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry. I… I totally misread the situation. Master Zephyr, please forgive me."

"Sure. Whatever. It's fine, Lippy. Just stop being so weird." Zephyr still had no idea what Lippy was apologizing for, but if forgiving him meant he'd come along quietly and let Zephyr get some well earned rest…

But despite some initial oddness on Lippy's part, he settled right in with the duo.

Then came Sara and Kana.

Sara, who made Allen blush and stammer into speechlessness that amused Zephyr to no end… even as he worried she'd become so important to him that when it came time to go, only Zephyr and Lippy would return to the heavens. But he couldn't resent her for that closeness to Allen. Not when she made him smile like that, wide and carefree and infatuated. It was a good look on him.

Kana, who made Zephyr worry at her clumsiness, her earnestness, her willingness to charge into danger and certain death. He wanted to wrap her up and protect her from the world. He wanted to smuggle her to the heavens for safe keeping. He wanted to watch over her forever, see her grow up, be her family. The brother who teased her.

If only they could travel together forever. Just the five of them. Nothing would make Zephyr happier.

So of course it all came crashing down to an ignoble end.

Zephyr. Alone in the darkness. Forever.

Just like he'd always feared.

He lost a lot of things in the darkness. Memories of happier times seemed to slip away until sometimes he wasn't sure he remembered anything but names.

Nidhogg whispered in his ears, taunting him with the consequences of his failure. Allen and Sara dead and gone. Kana eaten, lost in the dark. All because he was jealous. Angry. Afraid of loosing them all.

Zephyr was never sure afterwards, how long it took for him to give in. To let Nidhogg use him as its avatar. Maybe it was lifetimes. Maybe Sara and Allen and Lippy had lifetimes together. Whole lives where Sara and Allen married and had children with Lippy as their nanny. Lives where they never suspected that two someones they loved dearly were missing.

Or maybe he gave in right away. Maybe it only seemed like lifetimes and Zephyr's vaunted bravery meant nothing. Maybe Zephyr ruined every opportunity Sara and Allen had for happy lives together.

With Nidhogg in his body, clouding his mind, Zephyr slew the ones he loved again and again and again, never able to wrest from their souls the light he needed to save Kana.

They never remembered him. They looked at him with such anger and resentment.

They weren't his Allen, Lippy, and Sara.

This Allen never kissed Zephyr on the cheek. This Sara never hugged Zephyr after combat. This Lippy never chided Zephyr for not eating his spinach.

Maybe they were nothing. Mere copies. Not real.

If Zephyr could get Kana back… maybe he could have them all back.

Maybe, maybe, maybe…

They still tended to get just one room at the Inn these days. One giant bed if they could manage.

Zephyr curled up around Kana. Allen holding Zephyr. Sara snuggled behind Allen. Lippy curled up at the foot of the bed.

If any of them, particularly Zephyr, had nightmares… well, it just made sense to all collapse together in a cuddle pile where they could give comfort most easily to the one who needed it most each night.

Allen still kissed Zephyr on the cheek to say thank you. Sara still hugged Zephyr after a battle to say 'I'm so glad you're okay'. Lippy still fretted over Zephyr's eating habits.

Kana still tripped over herself like a puppy with over-sized paws, Zephyr reaching for her hood to drag her back to safety at his side.

Zephyr didn't feel like he deserved any of this love. But they did. They loved him. And he would hold onto that love selfishly until the Goddess herself finally parted them.

"You know… you don't have to worry about me stealing Allen away from you," Sara said, settling onto a chair next to Zephyr.

It was just the two of them at the moment, sitting at a table in a library, doing a little research into the latest weird occurrence in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere. Not for the first time (or the last, no doubt) some unusual historical occurrence thought to be exaggeration and myth was turning out to be very, very real.

"It's a bit late to be worrying about that," Zephyr replied dryly. "The two of you are a matched set with a history spanning back even I don't remember how many lifetimes anymore."

"I mean… he loves me, yes. But he loves you too. And so do I." Sara, hesitantly, leaned over and kissed Zephyr on the cheek.

Zephyr ducked his head, not quite understanding the tears that suddenly pricked his eyes. "I… I care about the two of you too, but… I don't..."

"I know." Sara smiled sweetly when he looked up at her. "It doesn't matter that your feelings aren't the same as ours. That you love us in any form is enough for our hearts to be happy."

Kana sighed in frustration. "I just… I've never had one of those. Crushes, I mean. But all the Kanonnos have." She flopped backwards onto the couch in their room in the Inn. "I'm weird, aren't I? Do you think its because I was disembodied for so long that all these normal things are so hard for me to feel?"

"Well..." Zephyr sat at the foot of the bed, facing her, "if you think you had those feelings before everything with Nidhogg, then it could be because of that trauma. But… I've never had crushes either. So maybe its just the way you are."

Kana shot upright so fast, Zephyr was surprised she didn't give herself whiplash. "You've never had a crush?"

"I've never had romantic feelings about anyone," Zephyr confirmed.

"But I thought you and Sara and Allen..." she blushed.

"Well, they feel that way about me, but I don't reciprocate those feelings. I love them, but my feelings are… more like a really intense friendship. And I do want to spend my life with them, and with you and Lippy, but… its not what they feel for me or each other."

"Spending our lives together, huh? The five of us." Kana smiled. "I want that for us too."

Notes:

I don't normally do New Years resolutions, but this year I decided I was going to write a lot more fanfiction. Specifically fanfiction with aromantic, asexual, and agender characters... because I am an aroace demi-girl. I want to write these stories in part to help me better understand myself, but also to reach out to others who have similar identities and want to see ourselves represented in the stories we read, even if its just fanfiction. I'm really glad that Aro Awareness Week is so early in the year, as this is pushing me to really start meeting my resolution.

I've got several more aromantic themed stories for this week. They'll show up over on my Ao3 account first so if you're interested in more aro stories I'd suggest checking out my Aromantic Awareness Week 2019 series page on Ao3 as that'll be the first place to be updated. My username is the same over there as it is here, so it should be fairly easy to track down.