I had fallen to love the starry night in my secluded section of forest. My forest. My newly developed instincts have changed how I see, feel, and react to things. Like my forest for example. This is my land, and I will protect it from any who threaten that that lives within my boundaries. I feel very protective and possessive now. Well, I can't really say if these new emotions are from my 'change' or just from the fact I had nothing to protect or feel possessive about till my change.
I settle my enlarged wolf body into the dry grass of a tiny clearing and stare up at the stars. I wish I knew the names and the stories behind all of the hidden images. I stare up at the tiny sparkles of light and wonder if all they really are, are just dense spheres of highly concentrated flammable gas. What if like the ancient religious beliefs were correct, and instead of boring, burning gas, stars and suns were gods. Why not? There are werewolves, shape-shifters, and vampires in this world. Why not throw a couple billion gods chilling out in the night sky too? I sigh and tear my eyes from the beautiful stars and rest my wolf head on my paws. Why did I have to have this nightmare for a life? Why did I have to have the childhood I had? Why did I have to be kidnapped, tortured, and infected, only to become part wolf? People, if they would ever figure out my newest secret, would only run away screaming 'MONSTER!'. Honestly, what about me is a monster? What malevolent, evil tasks have I committed that had cursed me with the title of 'monster'? The only things that I have stolen were clothes and food, and both were under extreme circumstances. Imagine if I had been running through Italy butt naked? I would have surely been arrested, and in order to escape the clutches of those true 'monsters' who forced me to kill and who caused me to change, getting caught, by anyone, would surely mean my death, or worse. I shiver at the thought of what 'they' wanted from me. To be their personal guard. A guard dog. Or guard wolf, however you want to look at it. Apparently, I wasn't as tall or as strong as the 'originals'-whoever they were-but under the circumstances, I was more then enough. If only my pack had also survived after being infected with the 'original's' blood. Yep. Somehow, someway, my captors had managed to confiscate blood from a shape-shifting wolf, and then proceeded to infuse that blood, into twenty prisoners, including myself. Seven died within the first hour of injection. two more after three days. I was the first one to go through the first transformation. After three days of my body burning and convulsing, I suddenly just explode. I was on all fours, teeth baring, growls rumbling deep within my core. My new ears flicked in various directions, listening to all of the shocked and terrorized gasps, and one voice in particular caught my attention.
A pair of hard, cold, dead hands clapped together catching my attention. I spun around in the dark cellar, that didn't seem that dark anymore, and face the leader. "Finally!" he muses with a friendly smile on his face. "I was so hoping one of you would transform soon!" I growled and lowered my head. The stench that collided with my nose was so unexpected. Bleach. Sweet smelling bleach was the only way I could explain it at the time. Now, I just call in 'vampire'.
Two more figures entered behind the creature before me. Both dead and emitting the same sweet bleach odor. One looked emotionless and bored as he peered into the cellar. "Well, it seems that Katelyn is the first to transform. You seemed pleased Aro."
The man before me, Aro, smiled wider. "Yes, I am. She is mentally strong and understands that orders are meant to be followed. She will be a good alpha."
The last figure laughed. "Truly brother, you must be mistaken. If this mutt," he stressed the word, causing me to growl, "is Katelyn, I can assure you that there would be better choices to be alpha. Not there needs to be one in the first place. They are to follow our orders. Or," he shrugged his shoulders, a wicked smile had formed on his dead, yet gorgeous face, "they die, and by my hands."
A ferocious growl coursed through my body as I jump in front of the convulsing bodies behind me. I would protect them. They would not be harmed by these horrid creatures. I would die protecting them. Aro smiled and turned to leave. "It appears brother, that I am right. She will be a good alpha. Marcus? What are her ties?"
"She is bonded strongly to the others. Protective bonds." Aro smiled and exited the room. When they were far enough away, and I was positive they weren't coming back I had collapsed to the floor, and within minutes, I was a naked body on the floor, wondering what the hell was going on.
The pain of remembering my pack mates forced a painful whine out of my lips. I tilt my head to the stars and let out a depressing howl, that sounds more like a sob, more human than is expected of a wolf. I still mourn over their deaths, all seventeen of them. Most were unable to survive the fusing of blood and never phased, but the ones that did slowly lost their strength and died an agonizing death. I had done everything in my power to protect them, and I failed them. I had failed them all, my pack, the only people that ever needed and wanted me, the people I swore to protect. I had kept up one promise though. Emma was our youngest wolf, she was only eight, and at the time I was eighteen. Emma had transformed shortly after I had and clung to my side, like a pup would to her mother, and I had loved her like she was my daughter, and protected her fiercely. She was also the longest to survive, excluding me of course, and the day she died, she had made me promise that I would escape the clutches of the Volturi, that I would be free. I promised and she died shortly after. I was unable to maintain my human form for three weeks after her death. The week I had been able to maintain my true form I had devised the plan of my escape, and within a month of her death, I was in the cargo section of a plane, flying over the Atlantic Ocean, heading towards Washington. When I was little I only remembered Jessie coming to visit me out of all my other cousins, not that I knew any of them. She had moved to Washington when she finished high school and I was on my way to ask her the biggest favor of my life. I asked her if she could let me live with her and her husband, and not tell any of my other family members about it. She agreed.
Jessie and her husband David know nothing of me being a shape-shifter, and I have no intension of telling them. They don't need to be burdened with anymore of the evil baggage that comes with me. Yep, that's right. I have another major part of my past. A dark, horrifying past. A past that includes my family, a past that the only outsiders that know are Aro, Marcus, Caius, Jessie, and David. Aro is able to read your every thought and experience with just one touch, and of course he had shared my secret with his brothers. Jessie has known about it since I was little. I don't know who slipped and told her, but either which way, she figured it out, which is why I had asked to live with her. And of course David figured it out too. I was living in his house, and he didn't want any secrets between him and Jessie so I gave permission for her to tell him. Ever since he has become very cautious around me. Like he could break me by just looking at me the wrong way.
I stand from my place on the grass and stretch my joints and shake my body, letting my coat sway with my body. My human hair is a deep red-brown and falls to my shoulder. I really should cut it shorter for when I'm in my wolf form-its just long and shaggy and occasionally gets part of the forest stuck in it's tangles- but I don't want anyone to see the scars, so the length stays. My back, tail, and top of my head are all my natural deep red-brown color. The rest of me however is pure white, until I get dirty of course. My eyes are still the same too. At first glance my eyes seem to be a lighter shade of brown, but once the sun's rays hit my iris' they turn a golden caramel. Almost yellow. It's strange, like I was always meant to become a giant half human, half wolf creature.
I run at top speed, dark oranges and browns blurring together as I push forward. I finish my route by circling the lake behind Jessie's house. David owns a little shop for the lake. Any fishing, hiking, canoeing possible need can be found in his store about three miles down from the house. The house is two stories and very homey, and has a large basement that they never used before until I came. Now, It's converted into my own little apartment, with a complete bedroom, bathroom with a large shower, and a combined den, kitchen area. Because the house is on a slight hill, the basement/apartment is exposed from the back, facing the lake. By the front one can only see the main floor and second floor. I have sliding glass doors that frame the lake perfectly, and now in early October, the painted leaves gives the lake a surreal, fantasy effect.
My apartment had been just empty space with sliding glass doors and a staircase leading up onto the main floor of the house. When I had moved in with David and Jessie, they had offered me the spare bedroom, down the hall from their room. I felt so ashamed and pathetic asking for someone else's help, and disgusting for intruding on their perfect lives. Their normal lives. Happy lives. I asked for a deal. I would stay in the guest bedroom, but work on converting the basement, which they never used, into a small apartment. Obviously they agreed and I demanded that I pay monthly rent payments, I had done the entire basement over. I had started working at David's store to earn money for rent and renovations, and within two months started construction. David had believed that being a girl, and only twenty, that I would be lost as to how to use tools and not able to handle the physical labor. Jessie had also offered to help, I had told them that it was very kind of them, but I wouldn't accept their offer; they have already helped me so much. I woke up at two in the morning on August fourteenth, and prepared the basement for construction. I cleared out all the garbage, and put things on a tarp outside the glass doors that could have been sold or recycled. After all the trash and recyclables were rid out of my soon to be apartment, I started taking measurements and sketching possible layout plans and writing down everything that I could possibly need. I measured a few more times, and fixed my blue-prints out here and there until finally coming up with the cheapest and most practical layout possible. I was so proud of myself, and excited. I hadn't remembered ever feeling excited, well not since I was about four.
Jessie and David came down the stairs and were dumbstruck. "Katelyn, when-. Why didn't you-?" Jessie started.
I jumped up off the floor and stood pin straight, hands held in my lap, face blank. "I'm sorry."
Jessie face turned to that of shock and guilt. "No! You haven't done anything wrong! We were just surprised. We didn't know you started already. We would've help." David nodded his head in agreement. My head fell forward in shame; I had made them upset. They had only wanted to help.
"I'm sorry… I… I was just…" my sentence trailed off.
"Excited?" David guessed. I nodded and looked back up at the two. David walk down to the center of the empty room and turned full circle, taking everything in. "Do you know what you want to do?"
My eyes widened in excitement for a moment, but I quickly caught myself and turned aloof again. I picked up two sheets of paper off the floor and hand him one. "This is the layout I have decided upon. All the measurements are on the bottom," I say pointing quickly and drawing back my hand realising how close I had come to him. "It's the cheapest layout I could come up with, and it seems simple enough. And-"
"It's good." David's eyes wouldn't leave the paper, staring at it with such an intensity, fingers tracing lines with his finger. Without looking up he walked five feet and looked up. "So this I the wall for the kitchen and bathroom would be? And the kitchen, den, and eating area would be just one room?" I nodded, waiting for further comments. Was it good. Really good, or was he just amusing me? "It's smart." My body straighten and I locked my eyes on him, shocked. A cool hand clamped on my shoulder and I jumped, heart racing, just muffling my scream into a quiet whine. My body was shaking violently. I stared up at Jessie in fear, straight and ridged.
Her hand was covering her mouth and she had tears that filled her eyes, threatening to fall. "I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. I forgot. I'm sorry." I whimpered at her sadness. Her tears didn't belong there, she should be smiling. Still shaking I took a step towards her and hesitantly reached for her hand. Over the two months that I had lived with Jessie, I had come to learn that she was a very physical, touchy-feely person. I held her hand and stared into her eyes, telling her wordlessly, that it was fine. That I wasn't upset with her.
"It's my fault. If I wasn't so messed up-" Her tears fell from her eyes and she shook her head and tightened her grasp on my hand slightly.
"You're not messed up." I had to look away. I couldn't agree with her, if only she knew more about me, then she would understand how completely messed up I was.
Silence had filled the room, and it was awkward to say the least. "What are you planning to do for the flooring?" David had asked, changing the subject.
The flooring was plain concrete, "I think I'm keeping the concrete for the bathroom, add a little rug late on maybe."
"What about the rest?" Jessie had asked, joining in on our conversation. I could only shrug my shoulders, I was still debating when they had decided to come down. "What about wood flooring? I would look so nicely!"
I smiled softly, not a real smile, a smile to amuse her. "I can't afford it."
"I'll happily pay for it." David nodded in agreement.
I felt my body harden and I clenched my jaw shut. I could handle this on my own financially, what more do they feel like they have to help me with? They have given me way to much as it is. "No. Thank you."
Silence took over again and Jessie released my hand with a frown. "What if-" David started.
"I won't accept any more of you money. It is not fair," I had cut him off.
"Well, is there anything you need help with?" Jessie looked at me expectantly, and I struggled not to wince at the word 'help'. She looked so excited, like the little children I had watched my entire life. I raised an eyebrow and tried to say no and go on with my preparations, but her pleading eyes, an expression that belonged on a lost puppy who was stuck out in the rain with no place to call home. It ate away at me until I crashed internally, broken and beaten down, I accepted her help.
"I need someone to come with me to buy the stuff I need." Jessie's eyes brightened immediately. We spent the remaining day buying everything on my list of materials needed, and for the next week I had put up all the new sheetrock and painted, fixed my electric outlets and lighting, and added plumbing. It was a very busy week. The plumbing I had to hire someone to do for me and it was nerve wracking, accepting help from someone, and someone I didn't even know. I was shaking all day and sat on my stair case as the man worked away for three days. The next two weeks I had put in the two doors, bathroom and bedroom doors, and had all appliances either in my apartment, or ordered and on the way. By the time a month had passed, my apartment was complete. The walls of my kitchen/den/eating area had been painted a deep green, the bathroom a pale blue, with a white wooden cabinet and sink, white toilet and shower. A large plain mirror hung on the wall above the sink. My bedroom was painted a pale yellow. As for the flooring, I had decided to do a wood flooring. David, Jessie, and I were driving through town when I discovered some old man throwing piles of wood out on the side of the street. I had asked to pull over and I ran to the man and asked why he was throwing the wood away. As story goes, the man had recently moved in to his house that had a very large deck in the back, overlooking the forest, but he didn't want it, would use it, and wanted it gone. He happily let me take it. Together with David, and the man, we stacked the wood into the back of David's pickup truck and drop it off at home. I had sanded the wood to perfection and re-stained the wood, giving it the appearance of being new and professionally done.
I didn't have too much in my apartment, not that it had room for it to start with. In the den area I had an old coach and love seat set that I had brought at a garage sale and replace the fabric with new, clean, thick cloth. Had a cabinet-table contraption that I set a forty inch flat screen television on. The kitchen had about eight feet of counter space, one fridge, oven, and sink. Under the cabinets held my limited cooking equipment and even more limited amount of food. A loaf of bread, a box of cereal, and a box of granola bars. In my fridge was a week's supply of microwavable dinners - and yes I bought a microwave - milk, peanut butter, grape jam, and some turkey and cheese. I had a plain, pale wood, four person table, with four matching chairs. My bedroom had a queen size bed with a white bedspread that had a yellow strip outlining the blanket and pillowcases. I had two pale wood, small and simple end tables. They were so pale that they remind me of sand and not of wood. I had a desk the same color as my tables with a corkboard above it and it had three big draws on the left side. I had a white stool that when isn't being sat on, tucks perfectly under the desk. I had a white dresser that I had found with my couches and all I did was repaint it. I don't have a lot of clothes yet so it wasn't a necessity. I had the same mirror placed above my dresser that was in my bathroom. As a present to moving in, Jessie and David gave me towels, spare blankets, and a white vase full of sunflowers. I had set them on my dresser. I love my apartment and felt so proud and tired when it was finally done.
I am in my apartment that I find myself now. Dirt caked on to my hands and feet, leaves and twigs stuck in my hair. I yawn and walk into my shower and scrub the remains of the forest from my body. Slipping into running shorts and a sports bra, I stare at my battered reflection in my bedroom mirror. Discolored skin and scars cover my stomach , shoulders, and back. Some old scars grace my legs and arms, but they aren't that noticeable anymore. You have to look for them to notice them now. It seems that the more I phase, the more faded my scars and discoloring is. I'm starting to look normal, but it's not there yet. I still cover myself up in clothing when people are around. I don't need people wondering about me and my past. It's dangerous and scary to think about. I sigh and curl under my blankets. Blankets I don't need considering that I run an amazing 105. 8 degrees ever since I phased. My temperature wasn't the only thing that changed either. My frame, though still being to thin to be considered healthy, is muscled and toned. Also, I grew four inches. I was average height, 5'4", but now I'm 5'8".
Yep. I have a hard life, but surprisingly, it has been becoming better since I had moved in with Jessie and David. I'm starting to become a normal person. I want enrolled into college to become a veterinarian, this way not only can I help lives, I can help myself if I ever get hurt, being half wolf that is. I work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday at David's shop, which by the way is called 'The Shop', I guess he couldn't come up with anything or he just didn't think the name was that important. On Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I work at 'Redox'. Surprisingly Jessie is an entrepreneur and has started 'Redox' a bar and club, the most popular within fifty miles might I add, all by herself. I work in the back, cleaning, doing small errands, and computer work. If I got better, Jessie said she would ask me to work shifts out on the floor, ordering drinks and such, but since I can't even handle someone touching my shoulder to sooth me, it's not such a good idea. That and the fact that I wouldn't do anything if someone decided to grope me and mock me. I'll just freeze up and let them do whatever they want till they're satisfied and wait for permission to leave. I don't stand up for myself, whenever I do, I get hurt or in trouble. I learned early on that if someone is hurting me, I just have to take it, and deal with it later. Talking back, or trying to run away only makes the situation worse. My scars are proof of that.
I turn on my side and stare out my window, up at the stars. "I miss you Emma. I miss everyone. I'm sorry. I broke my promise to you all. I let you all die." Tears streamed down my face. "I'm keeping my last promise though… I just don't know how I can live much longer…. I miss you guys too much. I deserve to be with you… You should have lived." My vision blurred from my tears and I closed my eyes, letting darkness and the nightmares consume me.