You Had It All Wrong
A Rukaru fic.
Summary: Hotaru loves Ruka, Ruka loves Hotaru. But neither one of them knows that the other loves them. Hotaru, as smart as she is, still thinks that Ruka likes Mikan, especially after seeing him stuttering in front of her so much. Even though Mikan and Hotaru are opposites, they are still best friends, and so Ruka gets lots of chances to talk to Mikan. Thing is, every girl he sees, he momentarily thinks is Hotaru. And Hotaru, holed up mostly in her laboratory, doesn't see him stutter in front of other girls, only her best friend. This makes Hotaru heart-broken, even though she tried not to show it. But each passing day, it gets harder for her. First she stopped blackmailing him, but eventually she ignored him altogether, afraid of stepping out of line and breaking down. This makes Ruka, in return, heart-broken also. Mikan being her usual unaware self, is unknowing, but as clueless as she was, she could sense something was wrong. Natsume, being the smart one, had already figured out Ruka's love for Hotaru, and sees signs that maybe, just maybe, she loves him back. But one day, he sees Hotaru crying, and realizes what his best friend had done. So what happens?
I sighed sadly. He has no idea how hard it is for someone like me, seeing the one you love love someone else. I watch Ruka as he stuttered a "hello" to Mikan. How did I ever fall in love with him? I thought. Sheer stupidity, but I can't stop my heart from being broken like it's being right now. I tried to stop the gathering tears in my eyes. I'm not jealous of Mikan; after all, I'm not that kind of person, even though I'm not acting myself. Effects of heartache, I thought. I wanted to bang my head on my desk. How did I ever get this emotional? What's happening to me? He's breaking through my stoic façade; I'll break down, sooner or later. I sighed again. He must be so happy that I haven't blackmailed him since last week. I had loved him longer than that, but I finally had enough. If I wanted to keep myself in line, I had to ignore him. Seeing him like this in front of my best friend made me want to cry harder than I already wanted to. One more time, and I had to cry. I wouldn't be able to take it anymore. It's overwhelming, he doesn't even have a clue about how I feel. Oh, how I wanted to hit him for being such an oblivious fool. How I wanted to make him realize what I felt. But it's hopeless, I know in my heart that we can never be together. I turned back to my invention, blinking back the tears again as I covered my face from view with my hair. I'm breaking apart, slowly, and I know it.
I sat in my desk after making a complete fool of myself in front of Mikan. I hate how I keep thinking every girl I talk to or look at isImai. Ever since Imai started ignoring me, I thought about her more than usual. She even stopped blackmailing me. But if she's going to ignore me, I'd rather have her blackmail me endlessly every single day of my life. I looked over at the real thing, not some other fake hallucination. Imai's waist-length ebony black hair covered her face as she worked on her invention. I wanted to know why she started ignoring me. I couldn't think of any reason why. She doesn't know my feelings for her, so she can't have been doing this to torture me. If I started thinking of reasons that could never happen though, I might be able to think of one. But then again, it could never happen, so what's the point? I sighed inwardly. I seemed to do a lot of sighing this past week. Wouldn't you, if the girl you loved started ignoring you for a reason you couldn't think up? She's a genius, yet she probably has never thought of the fact that I could ever love her. Is she mad at me? I thought. I shook my head mentally. It's impossible. After all, think about it, what would she be mad at me for? If she is, I wouldn't know why. To me, it's truly not possible. I shut my eyes and leaned back into my desk chair, groaning. I felt eyes staring at me, but all I thought was, Imai, what did I do?
OOO
"Hotaru, are you alright? You haven't been yourself lately!" Oh, great. Even my idiot of a best friend knows something is wrong and trust me; she's not all that smart. No offense to her, of course. "I'm fine," I said emotionlessly. I'm surprised it came out right, considering all the emotion I'm feeling. Mikan had a worried look. "Are you sure? Do you want me to get Ruka-pyon?" she asked with a concerned tone. I looked at her in surprise. "Why would you want to get Nogi?" I asked. God, don't tell me she knows! With her big mouth, you can guarantee it will be around class and more in no time. "Be-cause," Mikan said, emphasizing because,"Ruka-pyon seems sad that you're ignoring him! Didn't you know?" I stared at her weirdly. Ruka seemed sad that I ignored him? What, did the world end already? He hates me blackmailing him, and I'm pretty sure he hates me! "He…" I was at a loss of words. Who could blame me? You think you know a person, then bam! You find out that while you thought he would be happy you're ignoring him, he isn't. This world is crazy. "He…does?" Mikan nodded. She looked like a bobble-head, nodding like that. I looked at her strangely again. It must be a mistake. "It must be a misunderstanding. I mean, Nogi would never seem sad that I'm ignoring him," I said incredulously. Mikan, surprisingly, took me by the shoulders and shook me. I should have hit her with my baka gun, but I didn't. "But Hotaru, that's the thing! He is sad! Didn't you see how miserable he looked for the past week? Don't tell me you didn't even spare him a glance!" He…did? I think Mikan's idiocy is rubbing off on me. I can't even speak. This is still not registering inside my brain. But I didn't spare him a glance, so how could I have known? Maybe…maybe it is true? No…It couldn't be. "Mikan," I was sounding desperate now, "maybe he seemed sad because of something else!" She shook me again. Oh, I really should have hit her with the baka gun. Seriously, just shaking me like that. It's like-nevermind. "No, Hotaru! It's because of the fact that you're ignoring him! Go talk to him, please!" she said urgently. I shook my head. "I'm sorry," I said quietly. "But I can't keep that promise." I took myself forcefully from her grasp and ran to my dorm, tears threatening to fall once again. "Hotaru!" she shouted. I kept running. I can't talk to him, not now that he's broken my heart.
I walked through the hallway, hands in my pockets, head down and deep in thought. Usagi was running alongside me. All of a sudden I heard Mikan's voice, yelling, "Hotaru!" I wonder what happened to Imai…Without warning someone crashed into me from the side. We both fell down. I realized the person was a girl. As the girl sat up, I saw that it was Imai. She searched my eyes swiftly before whispering, sounding horrified, "Nogi." She stood up quickly and ran. Standing up, I wanted to call to her, but didn't. Instead, I watched her as she ran away. I sighed. I give up too easily. I'm an idiot. God, help this godforsaken, lovesick, delusional, demented person. Why delusional? Because I've dreamt and thought of being with Imai…which is something I know will never happen. As she rounded the corner, I turned on my heel and walked the opposite direction of Imai, forehead wrinkled in confusion. She really was acting peculiar lately. One, she stops blackmailing me. Two, she starts ignoring me. Three, she bumps into me, looks at me horror-struck, and runs away from me. I couldn't connect her ignoring me with anything. I feel like slapping myself repeatedly until my brain thinks of something else other than: I'm an idiot. I'm hopeless. I'm sad. I'm in love with Imai Hotaru. I'm-And so on. You get the point. I look around. No one's looking at me so…I slap myself. Ok…Mental note, slapping oneself hurts and does not work when trying to think properly. Ok…Ruka, you need to think of other methods. "Hmm…" Maybe I should run into a tree…I walk outside and go in front of a random tree. Just as I was about to run toward it, a voice said, "Ruka, what the hell are you doing?" It sounded a bit more like a statement than a question. Natsume. I stopped in my tracks, straightened up, sweatdropped and scratched my head sheepishly. "Um…Nothing, nothing at all. Why?" Natsume smirked at me. I gave him a awkward smile. If Natsume was Imai, she probably would have made a blunt statement, then smirk and call me an idiot. I don't need her to tell me that though…"Because it looks a lot like you're about to run into that tree," he said, smirking wider as he gestured his head towards the tree I was about to run into. Blunt, almost exactly like Imai. I sweatdropped again. "I wasn't!" I said, realizing only too late that I had said it more quickly than necessary. "I was just…uh…I just…you know…" I struggled for words. Another mental note: rehearse what to say in front of people in case they catch you about to run into a tree…Hmm, maybe I should get a notebook for this…
Hotaru calls Ruka "Ruka" mentally, just to let u guys kno. Oh & I didn't feel lyk using any japanese words. Hope u guys r ok w/ tht. Oh & the eyes staring at Ruka b4 wasn't Hotaru, it was actually...you'll find out later. And on a random note, if u r 1 of my Bringing You Back readers, and I kno u kno tht the 1st chap sez I'm 11, but not anymore. Random, huh? Anyway, I originally was going to make this a one-shot, but I think I'll make this into a 5 chaptered thing. The reason for this is so that I can continue both this and BYB without getting tired of them. Well, I can't keep all my RUKARU ideas in my head, you know. I already have quarter of a notebook filled with RUKARU summaries for future stories. Serious lack of Rukaru, it's such a tragedy.
P.S. I kno, I kno, I went from dark/hurt to less dark, to dark/sadness to slightly humorous. Bear with me, ppl. Oh, and here, Natsume and Hotaru r closer now, lyk bro-sis close. And there's something I didn't mention in the summary, but you'll figure it out l8r. No flaming plz, and take 2 mins 2 REVIEW!!!