Disclaimer - Paul Bäumer is the protagonist in All Quiet on the Western Front written by Erich Maria Remarque, so he doesn't belong to me.
Chapter 1 - Why I Am Still Alive?
It is autumn. There are not many of the old hands left. I am the last of the seven fellows from our class.
Everyone talks of peace and armistice. All wait. If it again proves an illusion, then they will break up; hope is high, it cannot be taken away again without an upheaval. If there is not peace, then there will be revolution.
I have fourteen days rest, because I have swallowed a bit of gas; in the little garden I sit the whole day long in the sun. The armistice is coming soon, I believe it now too. Then we will go home.
Here my thoughts stop and will not go any farther. All that meets me, all that floods over me are but feelings... Greed of life, love of home, yearning for the blood, intoxication of deliverance. But no aims.
Had we returned home in 1916, out of the suffering and the strength of our experience we might have unleashed a storm. Now if we go back we will be weary, broken, burnt out, rootless, and without hope. We will not be able to find our way any more.
And men will not understand us... For the generation that grew up before us, thought it has passed these years with us already had a home and a calling; now it will return to its old occupations, and the war will be forgotten... And the generation that has grown up after us will be strange to us and push us aside. We will be superfluous even to ourselves, we will grow older, a few will adapt themselves, some others will merely submit and most will be bewildered... The years will pass by and in the end we shall fall into ruin.
But perhaps all this that I think is mere melancholy and dismay, which will fly away as the dust, when I stand once again beneath the poplars and listen to the rustling of their leaves. It cannot be that it has gone, the yearning that made our blood unquiet, the unknown, the perplexing, the oncoming things, the thousand faces of the future, the melodies from dreams and from books, the whispers and the divinations of women; it cannot be that this has vanished in bombardment, in despair, in brothels.
Here the trees show gay and golden, the berries of the rowan stand red among the leaves, country roads run white out to the sky line, and the canteens hum like beehives with the rumours of peace.
I stand up.
I am very quiet. Let the months and years come, they can take nothing from me, they can take nothing more. I am so alone, and so without hope that I can confront them without fear. The life that has borne me through these years is still in my hands and my eyes. Whether I have subdued it, I know not. But so long as it is there it will seek itsvown way out, heedless of the will that is within me.
XXX
Paul Bäumer was a creative, sensitive and passionate German high school student who liked writing poems and having a clear love for his family but after listened to his school teacher's patriotic speech at the beginning of war in 1914, he decided to join the army at the age of 19 along with his six classmates; Albert Kropp, Haie Westhus, Fredrich Müller, Peter Leer, Franz Kemmerich and Joseph Behm.
Thought it is going to be like what his school teacher told but it turned out to be not like that... The horrors of the war trained him to disconnect himself from his feelings and soon everything from his past life became something Paul was no longer linked to. There was a time when he went back to his hometown where everybody, even his family, still believed they are going to win the war even though he tried to explain his experience in the war and that made him feels like an outsider.
Year and year went by as his friends fell one by one until the death of his last friend, Stanislaus "Kat" Katczinsky that eventually made Paul doesn't care to live anymore. Even though he knew the peace and armistice is coming soon but he didn't see the future as bright and shining with hope. He spent all of his youth in this bloody and pointless war, and it took everything from him as he felt that he has no aims or goals left in his life anymore.
With that, Paul decided to end this nightmare, to end his suffering... He was shot by a sniper who was hiding somewhere in no man's land during October of 1918, on a day that was so quiet along the whole front, that both sides of no man's land reported to their commanders in the same single sentence: "All Quiet on the Western Front"
But there was something strange happened... As another men in company saw Paul got shot, they quickly rushed to see him but Paul wasn't there... His body should be there, laying on the ground but it wasn't there... There wasn't nothing there even his rifle, it was just like he disappeared without any reason.
At first they thought his body might fall to shell hole and probably sink into the mud, so they tried to find him every inches of that area but in the end, they couldn't find his body... Some believed that he may desert the army but since the incident happened during the daylight and there were many witnesses that they saw him got shot and fell to the ground, so it seemed to be impossible.
Later Paul was on the list of those missing in action and his disappearance soon became the myth that has been told among his company, and also among people in his hometown... His parents were shocked when they heard this, it wasn't just only that their son may die but no one could find his body. Even though the war ended a month later after his disappearance but they still couldn't find him and his parents began to accept that they probably won't see their son again.
But they didn't know one thing and no one probably knew that either... God gave a second chance to the broken Paul, and now he was going to use it.
XXX
Paul Bäumer's POV
I slowly open my eyes as I am conscious again after probably a long, long sleep and the first thing I see is grasses... Wait, grasses? There is no grass anymore in no man's land since they are all dead due to bombardment or whatever but of course, no grass in no man's land.
With that, I quickly get a hold of myself and begin to move my body that is all numb but I can do it... I slowly push myself from the ground with both of my hands and slowly stand up as the light is shining over my eyes and what I am seeing right now makes me surprised so much... I am standing in the middle of tall grass field.
"W-What the hell?" I look around the field in a panic and it seems everywhere I look is going to be endless. "What is this place? Where am I?"
It must be a dream, that's what the first thing come into my head but when I pinch my face, it is really hurt. At least makes me know now that I'm not in a dream. I look at one of the tall grasses and slowly touch it... How long since the last time I have seen green grasses? All I have seen in these years is mud and blood, and death... Then I look at the sky and it is really clear as the sun shining upon my bead.
I look around at myself and find out that I am still wearing my grey uniform, and from what I see, I don't have any injured which is strange since I got shot by an enemy sniper and I remember he hit me... I then check my equipment to see if there is something missing and none of them is except my rifle and helmet.
Looking around the ground to see if they are somewhere around here and I am right, my helmet is dropped not far from where I am standing. I slowly walk through tall grasses and pick it up from the ground. It is damaged a little bit but I still need it for protection, so I put it over my head then I look around again to find my own rifle as I need something to protect myself from danger and it doesn't take much time to find it laying on the ground.
I pick up and check rifle to see if it still works and luckily, I still can use it to protect myself from whatever danger that is waiting for me but from what I look around, this field seems to be safe, so I carry it on my shoulder as I still don't use it in this moment. I need to figure out where am I now and I need to find people, someone who probably can tell me where or what is this place.
Then there is something flying pass my face and it is butterfly... I slowly walk following it as I have never seen this creature for such a long time and it stops flying at the top of grass. I try to reach it with my own hand but it flies away from me as it seems to be afraid of me. I quickly follow it as it is flying and then I see something in the sky... It is smoke and that butterfly seems to flying into the direction of that smoke like it knows what I am finding for.
I follow that butterfly up to the small hill and stop there to rest a little bit as I try to find where is this smoke come from. It turns out to be a village which seems not to be so far from the hill I am standing now but I'm afraid of one thing... What if there are British or French soldiers in that village? I would become their POW for sure but from what I see, that village is not under the control of Allied or even German army as I don't see tanks, troops or barricade.
I observe the village carefully and nervously at the same time to make sure that it is safe for me to get in there for asking a help. When I'm sure about that, I begin to walk down the hill toward the village through the green field as the breeze is moving pass me... Many questions are flowing within my head that I want to find answers but the most important one is "Why am I still alive?".
Why I am still alive? Why I am still here? I'm still breathing and my heart is still pounding in the chest... It shouldn't be like this... I should be dead already... I still remember the feeling of a bullet went through my body and that is the last thing I feel before I fell down, the feeling that my suffering has come to the end... I have nothing anymore in my life as the war has taken them from me, even my future... But why I am still here? I keep thinking about that question again and again as I'm making my way to the village but in the end, I can't find the answer... I hope God will let me know what he is planning to do with me...
Hello there, reader and here is my first fanfic! Please review this so that I can improve myself in writing. Thank you and have a good day!
P.S. - The Italic part is actually written in the book on Chapter 12, just let you know in case some of readers may want to know.