A/N: Hey guys! First of all, Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it! Second of all, sorry that I had to stop for such a long time on writing new fics. Well, the if it wasn't for the Skimmons Secret Santa 2016, I think I won't be writing fics again. So here is my present for the tumblr user reachedthebitterend in the gift exchange. But it could be a gift for y'all too! This fic is a songfic inspired by the song Safe Inside by James Arthur. Lastly, enjooyy! Hope you guys like it!
I remember when you were all mine
Watched you changing in front of my eyes
What can I say
Now that I'm not the fire in the cold
Now that I'm not the hand that you hold
As you're walking away
Jemma remembers. She remembers how Daisy used to hold her. She remembers how Daisy always finds a way to make her feel comfortable. She remembers how Daisy used to tell her that she won't leave her side. Now, Daisy's gone. She disappeared in the middle of the night, leaving her alone in her bed, without any notice.
One day, Jemma watches the news and something catches her eyes, a news about seismic disturbance around the local area of Los Angeles, some of them are only weak tremors, but news about buildings crumbling down have been heard. They say a new vigilante is in town, but everyone is still questioning whether the person who brought down buildings is a vigilante or a petty thief. They are calling the person Quake. It does not take seconds to make Jemma realize it, the moment she heard the word 'seismic' she is a hundred-percent sure that it is Daisy. Her Daisy.
Jemma can't believe her eyes when she finds Daisy in her apartment, bruised and bleeding, Daisy sits weakly on the floor, leaning toward the wall, her eyes closing as she winces in pain.
"Daisy?!"
"Sorry, I've got nowhere else to go,"
Daisy's changed, gone is the sarcasm she always surrounds herself with, those walls are replaced with coldness. Dark circles are under her eyes, she looks so tired, her arms are bruised badly, new scars are visible on her faces and her arms.
"God, Daisy, what happened to you?"
"Just a few bruise here and there,"
"What happened?"
"None of your business,"
"Well it is my business because now I had to patch this up,"
"Don't push me Simmons, I'll owe you a big one but no questions,"
And it's crazy, watching a person you love so much, changing in front of your eyes. What matters most to them, did not even matter anymore. Daisy's eyes that's once full of sparkles and excitement, are now just empty and tired. Jemma can't say anything, her heart is dying to just pour out what she feels all this time when Daisy's gone but she just can't say it. They are changing, situations are not the same, what they had looks like a faded picture that they can't figure out but knew it happened.
"Please stay, Daisy, you need treatment for your arms, the bones are shattering and it's not gonna be good when it turns into shrapnel that will tear your muscle from the inside out,"
"I'm okay, I've managed,"
"Well, let me see—oh, the bones are healing, but how?"
"I've got to go,"
Something just clicked into Jemma's mind and she realizes that Daisy had been keeping contact with one of their team members all along, that's the only way she could get the drugs to heal her bones faster. Those medicines are only S.H.I.E.L.D-issued and their team knows that it is what Daisy needs.
"Who are you contacting this whole time?" Jemma grabs Daisy's arm, "Is it Coulson? Or Trip? Mack?" Jemma keeps bombarding Daisy with her guesses.
"Stop Simmons, I said I've got to go, this is the last time we're going to meet," Daisy shakes her arm out of Jemma's grasp.
"What the hell?! You're just gonna leave? Leaving me without any trace just like how you leave me in my sleep alone?!" Jemma raises her voice, she is frustrated on the way Daisy treats her. Daisy stares at her, wanting to answer but she closes her mouth. "Are you even aware that I'm trying like crazy to find you, I was searching for you these past months and you have been contacting one of our friends all these time, and not a word to me?!" Jemma shouts, she is tired of this.
"Why do I need to tell you that? I'm not the hand that you hold anymore, you've found someone new right?!" It's Daisy's turn to shout now, her emotions are rising, her heartbeat spikes, it's been a long time that she can't control her emotions and it has been always with Jemma. She can't risk causing shakings again and alerts S.H.I.E.L.D. with it, they'll find out that she's been asking for help from Jemma. Daisy does the best thing she can do, she walks away, ignoring all the pain she feels when she hears Jemma sobs.
Will you call me to tell me you're alright?
Cause I worry about you the whole night
Don't repeat my mistakes
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside
If you're home I just hope that you're sober
Is it time to let go now you're older
Don't leave me this way
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside
Daisy is gone after that encounter with Jemma, without a trace. Jemma keeps worrying about Daisy, Trip and Mack always stay with her if she needs a shoulder to cry on or a friend to drink with. Trip and Mack also loves Daisy so much, they are the best of friends, Mack and Daisy are partners, Trip and Daisy rely on each other from the moment they are betrayed by their own mentors who turn up to be Hydra. Jemma tries calling Daisy, but her number has changed, she finds any possible way to contact Daisy but no reply.
"Please answer me, Daisy, I just need to know if you're alright," Jemma whispers on her phone.
"Come on now, girl, you worry about her too much, she is a tough girl, she will be okay," Trip pats Jemma's shoulder, giving her reassurance.
"But Trip, I can't sleep, thinking that she's alone, somewhere, I don't know if she's hurt or not," Jemma starts crying.
"Hey, we will find her okay, we will bring her back, y'know I love her like a sister from another mother right?" Trip hugs Jemma.
Jemma chuckles at Trip's remark and succumb to the comfort her friend provided for her.
Even though Trip had assure her that Daisy will be okay, Jemma can't help but think about Daisy. The last time they meet, Daisy was in pain, from her bruising in her arms and also from the bullet inside her back. Daisy brought a bottle of whiskey with her, drinking it with a swig, trying to numb the pain. Jemma hopes that Daisy is safe inside her van or god knows where, sober, Daisy had been through a lot and it's crazy how much she is addicted to alcohol. Jemma realizes that she can't do anything; she will try, try and keep trying just to find a way to make sure Daisy is safe. She does not need Daisy to go back to her, but at least she wants Daisy to be safe, to be near her, so that she knows that Daisy is safe.
Everyone has to find their own way
And I'm sure things will work out okay
I wish that was the truth
All we know is the sun will rise
Thank your lucky stars that you're alive
It's a beautiful life
It has been 7 months and 10 days since Daisy left her that night. It starts to sink in that Daisy will not be back, she is trying to redeem herself for everything. Jemma knows that Daisy feels the need to do something because she always feels that she wasn't worth saving. Daisy is trying to forge a path toward her own salvation and it just hits Jemma that she is not the salvation Daisy was searching for. Jemma has understand that everyone is trying to find their own way, just like her, trying to find her way through the changes happening in the headquarters. She copes by immersing herself into research all day, all night. She keeps hoping that every night, Daisy will enter her room, snuggle into her bed covers and they will wake up the next morning tangled in each other's arm. When Jemma wakes up, she motivates herself that everything will be okay, Daisy will be back. That's the thing that keeps her going on for these past months. She actually knew that it might not be possible, but she still keep that hope as the truth. And as time goes by, her hope faded, Jemma is just sure that the sun will rise and each time she hears the news about seismic activities she is just so relieved and thankful that Daisy is alive, Daisy is okay. That is enough.
If you make the same mistakes
I will love you either way
All I know is that I can't live without you
There is nothing I can say
That will change you anyway
Darling, I could never live without you
I can't live, I can't live
"Jem-uh-Simmons? How did you find me?" Daisy is shocked that Jemma finds her.
"I love you, Daisy. Please, come back with me I am sure as hell that I can't live without you, I just can't rest with the thought of you out there, hunting the Watchdogs by your own, and risking your life without any back-ups. It's so dumb, but I love you so much you know? I am sure what I say wouldn't change you, I know you. But listen to me, I love you and I could never live without you. " Jemma told Daisy what she wanted to say this whole time.
Daisy surges in toward Jemma, cupping her face, kissing Jemma tenderly and passionately, it's like a wildfire started in Jemma's heart and it burns her. Jemma is more sure now that she can't live without Daisy.
"So do I, Jemma. I can't live without you, but I need to redeem myself first for what I've done then I can come back to S.H.I.E.L.D." Daisy strokes Jemma's cheeks softly, kissing her again.
"So…I guess you're not coming back?" Jemma tries to hold her tears as she whispers.
"I will, I promise you, I will, but wait for a little while okay," Daisy assures her.
"Fine, but you need to promise me one thing…"
Will you call me to tell me you're alright?
Cause I worry about you
"Hello?"
"It's me, I'm okay and I promise you, I'll be back soon before you know it, I love you,"
"I love you too,"
Fin.
So, what do you think? Feel free to leave a review!