A/N: "Yes, another really bad parody... but hey! There's shooting!
(takes place after episode 24 but before episode 25!)
Spoiler alert to those who havn't watched episode 24 or EoE!"
Everyday had become a boring day, since the last angel had died.
Crushed by a giant hand, wasn't exactly a death everyone would choose… (If, of course, they could choose their death!)
But the story you are about to be told, ironically happened at one of those days…
…That is, the boring kind of day…
It was a normal Thursday afternoon, and the remaining children were doing their weekly 'activation tests'.
"Why do they still have to do this?" Maya asked, while reading the chart.
"Just tell me about the readings!" Misato pleaded.
"Okay! Okay! Reis' reading is 56,7 and Shinjis' is 34,2!" she grunted.
"Aww… I guess he got a little traumatized after my death, huh?" Kaworu asked.
Misato laughed; "Yeah… he got traumatized after your…" but trailed off when she saw the grey haired one stand less than a couple of feet away from her… hovering… and glowing….
She screamed and did the only resourceful thing…
She grabbed her gun and started firing away, shutting her eyes and still screaming her lungs off!
Kaworu tried to evade all the bullets, but one of them got him straight in the forehead, blowing out his brains in the progress.
"Did I get it?" Misato asked, slightly opening one of her eyes.
"That's not a very polite thing to do Miss Katsuragi." Kaworu said, getting up and dusting himself off, as if nothing had happened, even though the large gap in his forehead proved otherwise.
Now one of the 'Bridge-bunnies' took out a gun and kept shooting the fifteen year old angel.
With three blows to his head, five at his heart and two painfully near his groin, he stopped moving… and… living…
The bridge-bunnies and Misato all got home to Misato place and celebrated with a couple of thousand beers!
Some hours later…
Rei had fallen asleep inside her Evangelion, while Shinji stayed restless…
"Could they really have forgotten us like that?" he asked himself.
He sighed and stared out at the window, enjoying the sight of nothing.
Suddenly a bloody hand shot up at the window, and Shinji began screaming so hard that the glass nearly broke.
Kaworus bloody, re-dead-ified, glowing and cheese-looking, body came to sight.
Shinji continued to scream, when the boy took hold of something shiny in his pocket.
It was a nickel.
Shinji suddenly stopped screaming and his face lit up with joy.
"I thought I would never see that again!" he said, crying tears of glee.
"What could I else do… a brother always got to pay what he owes… and death is not a complication!" Kaworu said, magically breaking all the laws of nature and giving the nickel to Shinji, to return to his watery grave in the Nerv facility.
From then on, Shinji had a backbone (because of the magical nickel),
Rei had developed feelings throughout some weird creepy dream about her, a slinky, and two sandwiches (meaning; ending the hopes of Instrumentality),
Kaworu would stay dead yet magically reappear when needed (which was a lot of times!),
Asuka would stop being the bitch she was … (oh yeah, and she woke up from her coma!)
And Toujis sister got healthy.
In other words… they all got normal… like normal little teenagers should…
Except Kensuke, he was still a dork.