"Natalia, are you listening to me?" My dad's voice echoes into my ears.
"Huh? Oh, uh yeah."
"What did I just say, hmm?" he asks, crossing his arms.
"I-I don't know," I admit, twiddling with my thumbs.
"You need to go to class so you can take your G.O.A.T. This is important, it will determine your future in the vault. And besides, the overseer says that everyone has to, so I guess that settles that matter anyway."
I get up from my chair, sighing. I give my dad a kiss on the cheek then walk out of his office. When I enter the hallway, I can hear the voices of Amata, Butch and some of his followers. They're probably hounding Amata for some bullshit again. Every single fucking week something new. To make matters worse, Butch is actually such a sweetheart, and those nights he sneaks past my snoring dad and lays in bed with me.
I feel blood rushing to my cheeks as I recall two nights ago in particular.
"Butch, shh be quiet," I say giggling as he bumps a chair trying to get to my room. My dad continues, sound asleep and I cross my fingers as I close my door that he won't hear the mechanics of it shutting. Butch places his hands on my waist and pulls me close to him. His lips are firm and warm against my own. So soft. I can taste Nuka-Cola on his tongue as he slides it into my mouth. I back up a few steps until I feel my bed behind my legs and sit down onto it. After laying back, Butch leans over me, kissing me once more.
I stare up into the beautiful spheres of his eyes, a lovely gray blue blend, like pictures of the Capital's waters we'd seen in pictures in class. I bite my lip and lean up to kiss those lips once again. I feel his strong, warm hands on my hips and then up to the zipper of my vault jumpsuit. He pulls it down, and slides it off my arms and down my legs. I help him finish undressing me as his lips explore my neck and collar bones. A moan bubbles from my throat and into the room and he massages my breasts in his hands.
I start unzipping his jumpsuit and pulling it off of him until we're skin to skin. His skin is on fire against mine, along with the intensity of the friction of our bodies against each other. We're rolling around in the sheets of my bed, and I'm panting and moaning into his ear as I feel him inside of me. The words aren't supposed to come out, but when we've both found our relief and have caught our breath, I lean over Butch, one of my legs on either side of him and my hands running up and down his chest, and say "I love you."
When we both realize what I've just said, I open my mouth to take it back but there's no time because his lips are on mine again and his tongue is exploring my mouth.
"I love you too, Natalia. You're so beautiful."
I try to wipe the stupid grin from my face and walk up to a slowly escalating situation. Amata is looking down and away while the boys crowd around her.
"Hey Paul. Don't you have something better to do than be Butch's creepy follower."
"What? No I'm not. Who told you that I'm a follower?" he demands, looking pissed.
"No one, but it's pretty obvious Butch is the one in charge of you two. You can't make your own decision to save your life."
"No way is he the one in charge. You know what? I have better things to do."
"Is that so?" I ask, hoping he'll finally just leave Amata alone.
"Yeah, I'm out of here. C'mon Wally. We're not going to sit around and listen to what Butch has to say anymore. Tunnel Snakes out."
With only Butch remaining I approach him, raising my eyebrows and giving him a look.
"Yeah, yeah, alright. I'll leave your bestie alone."
He winks at me as he turns to go to into the classroom.
"Hey, thanks for that. Assholes. I don't know why they always insist on bothering me. Maybe because the Overseer's my dad."
"No problem, Amata. Ready to go 'determine your duties for the rest of your life in the vault'?"
She nods and we walk into the classroom together. I decide to go and talk to Mr. Brotch before class. After complaining to him about the test, he offers to take the test for me. I can't help but agree. The idea of answering multiple choice questions for a job in the vault you'll have forever is kind of daunting. Because of what he puts as my results, my skills involving science, lock picking, and small guns will be improved as I work.
I wait near the entrance of the classroom until Butch comes out. I smile at him then walk away, turning around periodically to make sure he's still following me. When the hall is empty, I enter into my living space, and into my room. Butch is just a few steps behind me. He sits down on my bed and I sit on his lap, crossing my legs around his midsection. His hands are on my waist, my arms draped on his shoulders and and wrapped around his neck.
He mashes his lips against mine and I respond. We continue making out until we're out of breath and then I push him back and start to unzip his jumpsuit. We're both half naked when I hear my dad's voice as he enters my room.
"So how did the G.O.A.T..." his voice fades as his eyes take in the scene.
My undershirt thrown to the floor, as well as his. My jumpsuit down to my waist and Butch's hands exploring the exposed regions of my chest. We both whip our head around and I quickly pull my arms up to my chest, covering my breasts.
"Dad, it's not, we weren't, I just," I continue stuttering as I rack my brain, trying to come up with some excuse as Butch grabs his shirt from the floor and puts his jumpsuit back on. He sprints out of the room as I sit there, unsure of how to react. I notice the feeling of a hot tear rolling down my cheek.
"Put some clothes on for god-sake," he says as he covers his eyes and turns his back to me. I cover myself as quickly as I can then sit in the middle of my bed. A few moments later, he returns to my room and sits on the edge of my bed. I don't look him in the eyes, instead observing the scratchy yellow material of the blanket on my bed.
"So, you and Butch Deloria huh?" He finally says, cutting the through the silence in the air.
"It's not what it looked like, we were just, uh." Why couldn't I have more charisma or luck?
"I'm pretty sure I can work out the details myself. It's ok, sweetheart. I guess you're a little more mature than I thought you were. Maybe I just need to accept that you're not a little girl anymore, you can handle yourself."
He places a hand on my shoulder.
"So like I was trying to say before, how did the G.O.A.T go?"
"It was complete bullshit," I say looking up at him.
"Haha, yes, I'm sure you're right."
"Can I tell you the truth? I didn't even actually take it. I just let Mr. Brotch fill in the results for me. When I get assigned to a place in the vault to work it'll help improve my science and small gun experience. Probably something with the armory."
He scoots back on the bed next to me and pulls me closer to him, wrapping his arm around me. I lean my head on his shoulder and hug his midsection.
"I love you daddy," I say, snuggling up against him.
"Oh, Natalia, I love you too. Your mother would be so proud of the beautiful, strong and independent, young woman you're becoming."
He kisses the top of my head. We stay like that for a while until we're interrupted by Jonas.
"Uh, one of the young'uns was running around rampant, I'm pretty sure he sprained his wrist."
"Sure thing, Jonas. I'll be there in a second."
Dad gives me a final squeeze before getting up off the bed and walking out of the room. I sigh and lay back on my bed thinking about Butch and my mom.
I wish Butch and I could have enjoyed the rest of the afternoon together. I wonder what my life would have been like with my mother in my life as well, how I would grow up in the vault.
I'm waking up to Amata shaking my shoulder.
"Wake up, come one you need to wake up."
"Huh? What's going on?" I ask as I sit up in the bed and yawn.
"It's your dad. He's left the vault and now my father's men are looking for you. They think you have something to do with it."
"What? I-I didn't even know he was planning on leaving."
"You need to get out of here. You can't get to the entrance through the main pathway. You'll have to go in through the secret tunnel in my Dad's office. I have a few bobby pins for you to get in there. Also, here's this," she says handing me a 10mm pistol.
"I-I can't take this. I can't kill someone."
"Just take it in case. I don't want you to get hurt. Just use it to protect yourself in case it gets bad. I'll try to meet you at the entrance but if I can't, I wish you luck. Please be safe."
She then turns and runs out of my room. I quickly sit up from my bed. On my desk is my BB gun, some BB's, a baseball and glove and a bat. I pick up all the items and shove them into my backpack, keeping my pistol equipped. As I exit my living space I see a security officer.
"Hey you, stop right there! Ah, damn roaches!"
He starts shooting at the roaches and I try to slip away. As I run through the restrooms and down the hall I hear Butch calling my name.
"Natalia! Please, you gotta help me. My mom's trapped in there with the radroaches."
"Hey, it's going to be okay. Let's go and help her."
"No! I can't go back in there. It's dark and those things are everywhere."
I sigh at Butch's lack of bravery. When I enter the room there are four or five bugs jumping and biting at Mrs. DeLoria. I aim my pistol at one of them and pull the trigger, popping a bullet into its head. It splatters as I aim at another one. I curse as I miss, the bullet piercing the couch. I steady my grip and aim again. Soon the group of roaches diminishes and I finish the last one off with a whack of my baseball bat.
"You did it! My mom's gonna be okay! Natalia, you're the best. I want you to have my jacket. I know it's not much."
"Butch, you could come with me. Me and you could be out there together."
"I, I don't know. You need to find your dad and I would just slow you down."
I wait until Mrs. DeLoria goes into the other room with a bottle of vodka in hand, taking a long swig.
"Butch, I love you. Please, come with me."
He hesitates and rubs the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry, Natalia. Too much has gone down, and I don't know if I'd last long out there."
I smile and pull him towards me for a kiss, feeling a hot tear streaming down my face.
"You know what, Butch? You act like such a tough guy, but you're such a coward. I love you so much."
He kisses my back, his lips pressing hard against mine, and I feel a single tear drop onto my face from his.
"You should get a move on. Get out of this shit hole, and don't be ruled by the 'almighty overseer' any longer. I love you too, Natalia."
I exit the room and slowly walk down the hall, wiping the remaining tears from my face. The security officer who was outside my room now lay dead, a small pool of blood at his neck where a chunk of flesh is missing. I kill the last roach and take the pistol from his hand.
As I continue down the hall I hear Amata's voice.
"I swear, I don't know anything. Just let me go."
I quickly rush into the room, worried they'd try to hurt my best friend. I draw my pistol and put a bullet between officer Mack's eyes, getting the Overseer's attention. Amata runs out of the room.
"This doesn't need to end badly for you, Natalia. You just hand over your weapons and turn yourself in."
"Fuck that. You're a murderer. You're lucky I care about Amata so much or you'd be lying on the floor just like Mack. Jonas is dead because of you, you heartless bastard. Just give me the password to your computer, and I will leave Vault 101 forever."
"Oh should I? While I'm at it why don't I give you the code for the armory and the clothes off my back. I will not compromise the safety of the vault for you, a child."
"Fine. I'll figure it out myself."
Angry and spiteful I aim the pistol down and shoot his leg. He cries out in pain.
"Shut up. You'll live. It doesn't even come close to what you've done, you monster."
I exit the room and wipe new tears forming at my eyes away. I run to the door into the Overseer's office. I take one of the bobby pins and a screwdriver and put it into the lock. After breaking one and fumbling around with another, the door opens. I search around the room and find the password to the computer in a locker as well as some more rounds for my guns.
As I enter the password, a wave of butterflies rush through my stomach.
"I'm really gonna do this?"
The tunnel opens and I make our way down the steps. As a large slab of concrete is lifted, I walk into the vault entrance. I run over to the control panel and open the vault door. A large siren beeps as the heavy door screeches and opens.
"Oh my god, you actually did it." I hear Amata's voice behind me. I pull her into a hug.
"I couldn't have done it without you."
"Yeah you could've. If anyone can survive out there. It's you."
I pull Amata into a hug and then turn to leave the vault. Loading my pistol, I think of my dad. I'm going to find him, no matter what it takes. I'm not losing anyone else I love.
As I push the wooden door open, I hear the sire blaring once more, and turn to see the vault closing. I'll never be able to go back. And I don't give a damn. I turn back to the door, blinded by actual sunlight. My eyes sting and water a bit as they adjust. The wasteland that is in front of me is terrifying and barren. It truly is, well, a wasteland.