No Cannons, No Caskets

Chapter 1

The nightmare is one that has plagued me for days now.

The one where I am standing in the District's square in front of the Justice Building on Reaping Day. I'm wearing a pretty pale blouse and skirt, hair delicately braided. My finger still throbs slightly from where it was pricked to draw blood not long ago. The wound still drips blood, so instinctively I stick it my mouth to suck on the blood. It tastes like liquid copper. Not that I would know what copper tastes like. Every time, I know that it tastes horrible, yet every time I stick my bloody finger in my mouth. I suppose that that is the definition of insanity.

I am alone in the square. Nobody else stands with me in the section for the twelve year old girls. In fact, nobody else is even in the girls' section at all, just me. When I look over at the boys' section, the sun glares in my face. I squint to try and see who is over there, but the faces all blur together, so I stop trying eventually.

I wish Katniss was here to comfort me. She has always been braver than I have.

I look around frightenedly, almost like a scared animal, and that's when I notice the preppy Capitol escort is saying something in an eerily annoying and definitely over-excited voice. I can't hear what she says because it's like cotton is stuck in my ears, and I can't scream, even though I try, because as soon as I do, bugs come crawling out of my mouth.

Then suddenly I can hear, and I don't want to.

"Primrose Everdeen" says the Capitol Lady, casting a beaming look in my direction, beckoning me up with long, pointy fingernails and a sinister grin.

No. No. No. NO. NO! I try to scream but it doesn't come out. Twin Peace Keepers drag me up to the stage. They grip my arms so hard; I know that I will have a bruise later. When I look back down, the faces of my District stare back at me, the girl's are all relieved that it wasn't them. My mother and Katniss, my older sister, look stoically forward, not the least bit upset. When I try to run, but the Capitol Lady grabs me by the ducktail that my too-large blouse makes. I forgot to tuck in my tail.

That's when I wake up screaming, tears making ugly tracks down my cheeks. I pat the side where my sister would be, and it's cold and empty. I feel more tears making an appearance. I'm alone in the bed. At first, I panic, reliving the dream, but then I remember that Katniss moved out three days ago. With her fiance, Gale Hawthorne, a coal miner. The two have basically been in love since Katniss met him in the woods beyond District 12's border when she was twelve. Katniss is seven years older than I, and she had her last Reaping just last year. I find it bitterly funny that one sister would have her last Reaping just before the other has her first. I briefly wonder if my parents had planned this, so they could get fourteen years of tesserae instead of just seven, before shaking it off and turning over to look at Mother.

My mother sleeps heavily in the bed across the room. It was a long night last night, many people needed medical attention. For some reason, it's always like that the night before a Reaping. We live together in a one room house in the Seam, the poorer part of my district, District 12. Which also happens to be the poorest district in Panem.

The sun is barely creeping up over the horizon, but I'm shook from the nightmare combined with the jitters from today's upcoming Reaping. Taking a shaky breath, I steady myself. It's going to be find. I'm not going to be picked, Katniss told me before she went home to Gale last night, my name is only in there three times this year. Once, because I have to, and two more times for tesserae for Mother and I. Katniss and I had a small argument over me taking it, but it soon became clear that we would starve if I didn't. Katniss refused to let me take out tesserae for herself or Gale, and because of this, one of Gale's younger brothers, Rory, had to take tesserae for his mother and siblings. Katniss hunted during the day, doing the job for both Gale and herself, as he worked the entire day way deep down in the mines. Not to mention she still felt obligated to bring Mother and I meat. Mother made little to no money as a healer, because those in the district who needed it most could barely pay to keep food on the table for themselves, nevermind medical expenses. I am still in school, but am adept at healing, and am apprenticing with Mother, but can't actually do anything for myself yet. I could never kill an animal like Katniss does. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

So, yes, I told Katniss, I would take the tesserae, would allow my name to be placed in that Reaping glass more than once, as that was all I could really do to help. Even if that meant having more of a chance of being picked to fight to the death for the Capitol's entertainment.

These thoughts running ragged in my head aren't pleasant, so sighing deeply, I stretch my body, feeling the bones ache from the uncomfortable bed. I quickly slip off my sleeping clothes, and find a somewhat clean, old, and faded everyday dress in the broken drawer next to my bed. The dress doesn't fit me well, it hangs far above my knees and isn't what I'll be wearing to the Reading- no, that one will be much nicer- but I decided to head out on a walk, work off the nervous energy currently racking through my body. Before going, I grab a dirty brown pouch from the top drawer. Jacks. I smile; it's my favorite game because I can play it alone. I have friends, and I love them, no doubt, but sometimes being alone is okay, too.

Slipping on my shoes, I quietly tiptoe outside, careful not to wake Mother. On the way out I pass Buttercup, my cat, on the steps. When I was smaller, I found him outside and decided to rescue him. The first time Katniss saw Buttercup, she tried to drown him, now whenever he sees her, he hisses. Quiet honestly, I don't blame him. As I pass, he rubs up against my legs, purring and almost tripping me. "Sorry, Buttercup," I say softly, bending down and scratching him under the chin and ears, "I don't have any food for you." I open my hands, showing the cat that I really don't have food. Growing bored, he stops purring, licks his paw, and then slinks off to go do cat things.

Strolling through the district is peaceful. There isn't really anybody around at this hour. It's still early morning, but it's too late for miners to still be heading off to work. They start just after sunrise. I want to visit Katniss at her house, but think twice about it. She's probably in the woods by now, anyway. Instead I head off in the direction of school. There won't be school today because of the Reaping, but the building is a constant in my life, and therefore its presence has a calming effect on me. The gate surrounding the schoolyard is broken, everything is broken, so I let myself in. I jog across the blacktop, which is actually mostly dirt by now; it's been that long since it's been repaved.

I hide under a tall tree by the side of the school, a light breeze ruffles my unbound blonde hair, and dump the jacks and ball onto a slab of concrete that works for the game. I scatter the jacks and begin the game. I start with onesies, tossing the wooden ball up in the air, letting it bounce once, collecting a single jack, and catching it before it can bounce again. I do this until all fifteen jacks have been picked up. Then I move on to the next rounds, twosies and threesies and so on. I excel at every round, snatching up the jacks with ease. I have yet to master fifteen at a time, I can only get twelve before the ball comes back down again.

I must have played for two or three hours; jacks are the only game I ever want to play. When I look up again, the sun has once again graced us with it's presence. I quickly pack up my game, tucking the pouch safely in the pocket of my dress, and head home. I take the long way back home, not wanting to spend anymore time than necessary thinking of the Reaping and the Hunger Games. I take extra time in the square near the Justice Building. Peace Keepers, who are normally lax in District 12, stand guard dutifully at the entrance to the Justice Building, but that's not what I notice. The square has been transformed overnight for the Reaping today. The sections have been roped off, one side for the boys and another for the girls, and each have been further divided by age, twelve in the front, eighteen in the back, everyone else in neat rows between. The stage and glass bowls have been set out, but the names have not yet been put in. Shame, if they had, I would've stolen the papers and taken mine out. On second thought, that's probably exactly why they aren't put in until just before people start gathering.

I force myself to hurry along when a couple of Peace Keepers show up with a table and chairs, as well as the needles and things needed to take our blood samples. My finger twitches in phantom pain, a flicker of my nightmare from previous nights.

When I open the door to our Seam house, I immediately see Katniss sitting at the kitchen table alongside our now-awake mother. Cooked meat, and cheese sit on the table, the cheese from my Goat, Lady, and the meat from Katniss's latest hunt. A glance at my bed shows a soft, clean white blouse and skirt for Reaping day.

"Hey, little duck," Katniss greets when I hug her tightly, wrapping her arms around my small body to squeeze me back.

"Hi, Katniss" I say.

Mother cuts a portion of the meat off for me, and I get some cheese. For a moment I want to tease about it being a special day, or something to that effect, but the grave looks cast by my mother and older sister warn me otherwise. I eat up every bite, washing it all down with some stale water. Not that I can complain about water quality. At least we have water. We'd all be dead in two days if we didn't have water. So, hooray for water, I guess?

Mother is silent as she urges me to get dressed. I pull up the skirt. It's made of the same itchy quality that all of District 12's clothing is. Again, I can't complain. The blouse dwarfs me, so I find a rubber band in Mother's sewing kit to tie up the problematic fabric. I slide my feet into some shoes; they don't fit me right because they're old. I gather my discarded clothes from the floor, rummage through the pockets for my jacks, and call out to Katniss and Mother that they can look. I sit on Mother's bed as she does my hair into two neat little plaits. "You look wonderful," Mother tells me, and I beam. I catch my reflection in a cracked mirror beside the bed. Blonde hair and wide blue eyes that stand out in the Seam. Most people on this side of the district wear dark hair and even darker eyes, including my sister. Mother was the daughter of a merchant, but fell in love with my father, a miner, who died in a mining accident when I was five.

When I'm done, Katniss is looking at me sadly. I twiddle with the strings of the pouch, which has found it's way into my hands while Mother was fixing my hair.

"Tuck in your tail, little duck." I do as she says.

Katniss is the one to lead me back to the district square for the Reaping, not Mother, who says that she will meet us afterward, and we can have dinner with Katniss and Gale and his family. There are two Capitol officials who sit at a table, pricking our fingers. Just like my nightmare. We have to stand in line for a bit, and Katniss rubs soothing circles on my hand as we wait together. When it's my turn to get my finger pricked, I panic. It's too much like the nightmare!

"It's okay, Prim' Katniss says softly. She's always been there to protect me, so I trust her when she says this. I let the man prick my finger and press it onto an identification sheet. As in my nightmare, I stick the bleeding finger into my mouth, sucking until the blood stops. Katniss tries to show me where to go, but the Capitol official stops her. She must go stand with the other citizens. And I am alone.

Not for long though, because soon I spot my friends Violet and Anna in the crowd of twelve year olds up front. They wave me over with twin dark eyes and skin. Well, they are twins, so that makes sense, at least. They are both as nervous as I am, so we hold each other's hands in a show of support. We all have tesserae taken out, which increases our chances of being picked, but most of the Seam have signed up for tesserae, so the odds are actually almost the same as if we hadn't. A comforting thought. I hold onto it dearly.

My heartbeat thunders in my chest and bones as the Capitol escort, who introduces herself as Effie Trinket, steps up to the stage. She stands next to the now-full glass Reaping bowls. As she adjusts her spring- green suit, which has no place in this drab gray square full of worried faces and not a single drop of cheerful color otherwise, I notice that she has pink hair that the sun gleams off of. I'd bet tesserae rations that it's a wig. That thought almost makes me smile. Almost.

The screen above her plays the same message from our president, President Snow, that it plays every year. The video about the rebels and the Dark Days and how the districts revolted. How the Hunger Games are a reminder to the districts on why the Capitol is no match for them. When it stops, the Capitol emblem appears, and then the screen grows dark. My palms grow slick with sweat between Anna and Violet's hands. They keep me steady, I suspect that I steady them, as well.

"And now it's time to choose our tributes for the seventy-fourth annual Hunger Games. Ladies first" Effie's words make the crowd tense in fear and in sick anticipation. The two children about to be chosen for the Games are among us. They are someone's brother, sister, son, daughter or cousin.

I won't be picked, I won't be picked, I won't be picked. I repeat this mantra in my head, over and over and over again. My name is only in there three times. The odds are in my favor.

She shuffles her manicured hands around that daunting glass bowl, as if trying to find the right one, before finally making her selection. My heart is going to burst. It won't be me, it won't be me, it won't be me. Effie makes a show of opening the folded piece of paper, playing it up for the bloodthirsty Capitol citizens watching this live from the safety and comfort of their own homes right now. She finally gets the paper open.

"Primrose Everdeen."

It takes me a moment to register everything. She said my name. Just like my nightmare. Violet and Anna look at me. Instead of pushing me up to the stage in relief, Anna and Violet grip my hands tighter and pull me closer. I'm numb from head to toe right now. Blood pulses through my body in a rush. My brain needs to remind me to breathe. I take slow breaths. Katniss is yelling. Gale tries to calm her. Hot tears rack my body. No no no. I don't want to die. Because I'm going to die. I'm useless.

Effie looks around, trying to find me. Slowly I unwrap myself from my friends, and take shaky steps forward. My nightmare plays on repeat in my head except this isn't my nightmare. This is real and I am going to die.

Effie notices me after a few steps, "Well, there. Don't be shy."

Shy? Shy? Really, I'm not shy. I'm in shock. There's a difference, but it's a good thing that I can recognize it. I climb the steps of the stage. I feel tears make their way underneath my beautiful blouse, bringing goosebumps on the flesh they come in contact with.

I numb myself to Effie's next words. I completely miss it when she announces the boy tribute, and only vaguely acknowledge that he's older than me, and that he too has blonde hair. I don't struggle when Peace Keepers, surprisingly gentle, lead the boy and I to the Justice Building to say our goodbyes to our families and friends.

I don't notice because I'm too busy trying to hold myself together, to keep from screaming. I am living my nightmare. I am going to die.

A/N: First fanfic on this account. Currently I have up until around Catching Fire planned, but only this is written. I'll try to update about once a week. Also, before the title/chapter added to the top and this A/N, there were exactly 3,000 words and just about 6 pages.

Review, please!

XOXO,

Infiniginity