Content Warning: Stockholm syndrome, mentions of necrophilia, suicide, child prostitution, and torture. This is actually not a dark fic, it's a positive story about moving on. The darker themes are only glossed over with a shrug.
A/N:
A few canon details were changed to suit the flow of the story. Fran remains as the Mist Guardian, Mammon is not mentioned. Since Fran is a child, I feel that Kikyo would be more readily attached to him after losing Daisy and Bluebell.
This fic is inspired by Madness Flower by Crimson Cupcake and Absinthe Fairy by Rosemary Blanc.
(Can someone please teach me how to hyperlink on ?)
Perennials are plants that can survive through the winter.
Small flowering plants that grow and bloom over the spring and summer, die back every autumn and winter, and then return in the spring from their rootstock, are known as herbaceous perennials.
Corpse
Lussuria like corpses, the concept as well as the physical object. It's the idea that a corpse, an object devoid of life or will, is the residue of a person after death.
It's the idea that, through careful embalming, he can preserve the illusion of a life lived, in static stillness.
It's the sense of power when a warm, moving body becomes cold and still.
Corpses have personality, they carry someone's identity before death. Their body, their youth, their appearance, their living habits. You can learn a lot about a person through examining their corpse.
But corpses have no thoughts or will.
It had been two days since the defeat of Byakuran, thus, most of the Vongolas were still working out the logistics.
The prisoner haven't spoke much since he came back to consciousness, not even under torture. There wasn't any glaring or cursing. The man, for the most part, spent his days staring at nothing. He didn't beg for his life, nor did he beg for his death. He didn't eat when food was provided, nor did he put up much of a struggle when he was force fed.
It's a puzzling state of mind, Lussuria noted. Generally, human either cling to life or seek death. This one behaved as if he was already dead, even though Lussuria's flame kept this one alive.
The man was, in essence, a living corpse. A beautiful one, at that. Lussuria is fond of beautiful corpses, though he's never seen one that's conscious, moving and breathing.
An imitation of the real thing.
At first, the intention was to try and scrap some information off Byakuran's second-in-command. This was declared a lost cause by Squalo on day three. In any case, there were easier ways to find information than trying to beat it out of someone unwilling to share.
By this point, overwhelmed with all the clean-up work, Irie Shouichi and the rest of the Vongolas have temporarily forgotten about the prisoner's existence. Thus, the treatment of Kikyo of Millefoire was suspended in bureaucratic limbo, placed at the discretion of the Varia. Lussuria, by the virtues of "you picked it up, you keep it", was responsible for the treatment of Kikyo. It was a sensible choice, considering that Lussuria had been the one to keep the man alive with his sun flame after Xanxus had shot him.
He could stop, cut off the supply of sun flame and Kikyo of Millefoire would be dead in a jiffy. But Lussuria have found a quaint charm to the state of unlife the man exhibits. As lovely as the former Millefoire lieutenant would have looked in Lussuria's corpse collection, the concept of someone between life and death, who's life lies within Lussuria's fingertips, alluded him. It certainly wasn't a costly interest. The man's physical alterations have made it quite an easy task to keep him alive.
Since then, Lussuria have taken the time, every morning, to make sure the prisoner was alive, fed, clean, and beautiful. He fixed the eyeshadows and the broken bones, rinsed away the blood and the bile, and washed and combed through the man's hair. This indulgent routine lasted until the fourth day.
The inevitable break-down came a few hours after Lussuria informed the prisoner of Daisy's death. Suicide.
The man have initially reacted calmly. "I'm glad, it's what he've always wanted," was the first full sentence that came out of the man's mouth since being shot by Xanxus. Lussuria, surprised at the coherency of the reaction, prompted for more answers, but with little results.
It was at three in the afternoon, when Lussuria was awoken from his beauty sleep by a cry that sounds like a dying animal coming from his bathroom. (Squalo had ordered a clean-up of the interrogation room. So the prisoner was moved to Lussuria's bathroom.) It was followed by silence, and then a series of unnerving laughs. Weighing between curiosity and tiredness, Lussuria decided to roll over and go right back to sleep. The former Millefoire lieutenant was a cloud type, which are a prideful bunch. If there was any of that pride left, unlikely as it seemed, Lussuria doubted the man wanted to be seen in his moment of depravity.
When he finally went to check up on Kikyo, the man was... For the lack of better words, alive. Weak, pale, and slightly emancipated, but alive.
"Good evening," the prisoner greeted, seated on the ledge of the bathtub. Hands folded, posture upright, gaze knife sharp, the man looked like he owned the place. His face was noticeably clean, and free of make-ups. He must have washed them off after they smeared.
"Good evening, Kikyo. How are you feeling?" Lussuria asked, curiously. It's a surreal experience, treating someone who was merely a living corpse yesterday as a human. Lussuria didn't mind the change.
"Awful," the man smiled, "my apologies."
"Well, I'm going to go make some breakfast, and talk to our captain about what to do with you. Would you like me to bring you back a plate, hon?"
"That sounds wonderful, thank you."
Finality
Kikyo knew it was over when Byakuran ordered him to kill Genkishi.
Their devotion is meaningless.
He knew it was over when his flame pierced through Irie Shouichi.
Byakuran's fondness, too, is ultimately meaningless.
He knew it was over when Bluebell and Zakuro were cannibalized by Ghost.
They've outlived their usefulness.
He thought it was over when Byakuran, their future, disappeared in flame.
He was informed of Torikabuto's death on day two and Daisy's death on day four.
Within a matter of hours, the Varia have gotten more information on the former Millefoire than they have in the past week. Taking the necessary caution, Squalo flipped the records over to Irie Shouichi for verification.
When Lussuria told him the new don of Millefoire wishes to speak to him, he didn't expect Irie Shouichi, of all people.
"Oho? I didn't think you were the type to seize power."
"Only until Millefoire fully disseminates. I don't want the likes of Glo Xina to seize it instead."
Kikyo laughed, because it's a joke. Irie Shouichi is to Mafia don as Byakuran is to Philanthropist.
"How noble," Kikyo bowed slightly, a bit more vindictive than what's in character of him.
Irie's fists visibly clenched.
"You look uncomfortable. Mask it better," Kikyo critiqued.
Irie studied him for a long moment before speaking again. "I'm sorry about what happened to Daisy. I... Wasn't there to stop him."
"You shouldn't be," Kikyo answered, curtly, "Death was something he had always wanted."
Once again, silence.
"Come work for me," Irie offered.
"Excuse me?"
"You're too dangerous to be left on your own. You could work at the new Millefoire. We will have a place for you, if you so desire."
"As much as I would appreciate the opportunity to stab you in the back, Mr. Irie. I'd rather have you kill me," Kikyo answered, amused.
"Is it penance?" After a period of silence, Kikyo probbed, "You feel responsible for the ruins Byakuran left behind. That's rather presumptuous of you, Mr. Irie."
"Byakuran did not lead me to the path of ruin. I do not regret serving him. There's nothing for you to fix."
The new don did not seem to perturbed by this comment. "I was Byakuran's friend. I'm tired of seeing deaths," he answered. Simple, direct, with no room for argument. The man have always possessed this calm determination, it's almost admirable.
Kikyo smiled. "I appreciate your offer, Mr. Irie, truly. But what you're suggesting simply isn't possible. I am already a dead man. Bullet through the head. The only reason I'm still here, speaking to you, is because the Varia Sun Guardian have kept me alive with his flame." He should know, he was right there.
"That's not an issue. I can make arrangements with the Varia."
"You're too kind, Mr. Irie. That mercy will be the death of you, someday. However, I must decline. With all due respect, the idea of you, in Byakuran's former role, make me sick. I do not wish to confront this reality everyday of my life by serving directly under you. I hope you can understand."
Irie considered this confession. They will likely be equally uncomfortable in proximity of one another.
"I will take that into consideration," Irie nodded, an air of finality to his tone.
Competence
Competency was something that Squalo appreciates.
It have been several weeks since Kikyo of Millefiore was enlisted as the Cloud Guardian of Varia. There's a simple reason for having the ex-enemy fill such a major role from the start, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Kikyo was given a rank in name only, with no subordinates.
This is a comfortable arrangement. It allowed Squalo and Lussuria to keep a close watch on the former Millefiore lieutenant without trusting the man with too much power. Though, as Squalo have began to notice, there are certain qualities that comes with someone with commanding experience.
"The Corsican sub-branch. Eliminate them."
"Already taken care of, commander," Kikyo answered with a neutral tone and an inoffensive polite smile.
Squalo studied the Cloud, who apparently reads his superior's mind without being ordered.
"That wasn't a part of your mission," he stated, voice even, without a hint of shouting.
"It was a judgement call, I thought it would be the safer choice in the long run."
"I gave him permission," Lussuria immediately interjected, just as Squalo reached for his sword. Squalo doesn't understand when, and why, Lussuria began to defend Kikyo like a mother hen. The man was more like a dinosaur than a baby chick.
"Voi! From now on, don't you dare do anything extra without going through me. Know your place, Scum."
"Understood," Kikyo nodded. Lussuria tsked.
There are certain qualities which comes with commanding experience, like noting the location of each and every members of the team at all times, like making split second judgement calls to unexpected changes, like paying attention to every single detail of a mission and making suggestions that Squalo knew are sound and efficient. Squalo doesn't miss it when the youngest subordinates began calling the Cloud Guardian "Kikyo-Nee" in the same breath as they say "Lussuria-Nee".
It's a shame, because Squalo had always wished for a subordinate he didn't have to micromanage.
Goddamn Cloud types.
Dependency
Rainy days, those are the days when the headaches are the worst. On those days, Kikyo of Varia would sleep in Lussuria's room. Being in close proximity to the source of the Sun Flame helps. The bed is big enough for three, anyway.
To live off the mercy of another is not something that Kikyo had desired for himself, but this state of dependency is ingrained into the very fiber of his being, so he'd just have to get used to it.
In the morning they'd chat until they fall asleep. (The Varia have a nocturnal schedule.) And in the evening he'll let Lussuria play with his hair and do his make-ups. Despite common assumptions, the nature of their relationship is non-sexual. Lussuria isn't very interested in anyone with a heartbeat. All in all, Lussuria isn't bad company.
And if, on the odd evenings, he wakes up with the corpse of their former victim beside him. Well, that's just one more thing he'll have to get used to.
He learnt the art of embalming from Lussuria, and listened as the Prince enthusiastically rambled to him about various torture techniques, some of which he had the misfortune of experiencing first-hand. He listened to Levi's woes about Xanxus's lack of attention, and Fran's stories about fairies.
Much to the relieve of Levi and the other subordinates, Kikyo have agreed to play the role of the bad guy in Fran and Bel's live action role playing session. He was strong enough to give them a good challenge and not end up half-dead.
He had, on instances, offered to help Lussuria in cooking. His offers were declined. Squalo didn't trust him to not poison everyone's food. It's a bit of a shame, since Kikyo's an excellent cook, but Kikyo understood.
As for Kikyo himself, he started tending the Varia mansion's garden. He planted white orchids and bluebells and daisies and pomegranate and wolfbanes. Human remains, while not always beautiful to Lussuria's standards, always makes good fertilizers. If of his colleagues have recognized the flowers, they didn't say anything about it.
"Neh, Kikyo, what were your parents like?" Lussuria had asked one fine evening, as he worked on a elaborate waterfall braid. They've yet to talk about their past.
"Oh-ho? If I share mine, would you share yours?" Kikyo tested curiously, twirling a strand of hair in his hand. He does not fear sentiments, though he's not sure what have gotten Lussuria in the mood.
"If you want," Lussuria answered with a smile, "I don't promise you'll like it, but I think my life so far has been pretty exciting."
"You'll have to impress me, then. Shall I go first?"
"Of course, hon."
Roots
When you mother's life was claimed by a tumor in her brain, she gave you one last instruction, "protect your father and the company."
You knew, since you were a child, that your mother loved the company more than anything. It was, after all, the empire she built with your father. Being a dutiful son, you honoured her last wishes. You poured your life and soul into the company, doing everything in your power to expand your their empire.
Unfortunately for you, your father, who was also your boss, became a callous man after the death of his wife. Your successes were met with dismissals, and your failures were met with insults and violence.
Despite the lack of appreciation, you continued to work day and night, not for your promise to your mother, but for yourself. The company had became your life's work. Through your own dedication, you have made it /yours/.
You once joked, offhandedly, that you can sue your father for employee abuse, and got a kick in the guts for your effort. It was an empty threat, and you both knew it. Your father was the face of the company, and neither of you were willing to risk a scandal. Besides, he was your only family, and you swore to protect him.
Your father, in the way he was, was perhaps also a product of your creation.
So the company grew more and more powerful, and eventually caught the eye of the Gesso Famiglia. Its don, the young man named Byakuran, offered your father a business deal in exchange for your service.
"Oh?" Lussuria's hand paused, "and he agreed?"
"Oh-ho... No. He refused. Said he would never sell his own flesh and blood to the mafia."
"Hm..." a note of acknowledgment was made, but Lussuria didn't continue his braiding.
"That was his mistake. I advised him to accept the offer, but he was a stubborn old man and never listened in the most important times. It didn't take long for things to start breaking down. Lawsuits. Scandals. Death threats. Sabotages that resulted in a wave of defective products and the death of several consumers. I tried my best to remedy each of them, but despite my best effort, our company collapsed within a month.
"My father's empire, my life's work, crumbled before my eyes. My father suicided. It should have been devastating, but in truth, I felt relieved.
"I asked Byakuran why. There was no profit in going through such length to destroy our company. He could have easily taken it over when he had the chance.
"'I'm not interested in the company,' he told me, 'I only need you, and the company was killing you.'
"Ironically, he was right. I was so wrapped up in trying to breath that I didn't notice myself drowning."
He called you by the name of Kikyo, a plant native to Oriental Asia. Kikyo, the Japanese Bell Flower, is the symbol of Unchanging Love, Honesty, and Obedience.
Whether Byakuran meant it as expectation or mockery, you didn't know. What you did know was that Byakuran wanted to use you for his own purpose. That was the bond you shared. You provided your service, and he acknowledged your value. He made you feel appreciated. It's textbook psychology. Your father, for all his love to you, did not do that.
You were content. But Byakuran wasn't done.
"This is Bluebell, she is our new little sister. Bluebell, this is Kikyo, he will be your brother from now on."
"Kikyo-chan, this is child here is Daisy, he will our new little brother."
"You must guide them, Kikyo-chan, they're your family. I trust you the most."
Family. It felt like a foreign term after all those years.
"Family, hm?" Lussuria hummed in understanding.
"They were a strange bunch, collection of Byakuran's damaged goods, but they were mine."
"Oh, you poor dear," Lussuria said, a bit more solemnly than he normally would, "I understand the sentiment." He tied the ribbon on the finished braid. The luscious green locks have an ethereal look to them, vine like. Satisfied with his handiwork, he passed a mirror to the Cloud Guardian. He had asserted a small amount of sun flame as he worked through the hair, to sooth the headache. Seeing the colours return to the Cloud's face, it seem to have worked.
"It's lovely," Kikyo commented appraisingly, fingers ghosting over the braid, "thank you, Lussuria-san."
"Oh you're such a dear, you're very welcome." Lussuria is unsure whether Kikyo is just saying that to humour him. Still he beamed at the compliment. It's good to see your work appreciated. "Now turn around and let me help you with those beautiful eyes of yours."
"Thank you," Kikyo turned to him obediently, handing him the make-up kit and closing his eyes, "I do believe it's your turn."
"Oh, of course, where shall I start?"
"Why don't you talk about how you end up with the Varia? Start from the beginning, if you will."
"Alright. Story time! You see, my parents were in a similar predicament as your father. They weren't mega-corporation CEOs, though, just down-on-their-luck druggies who owed a debt to the mob. They didn't have anything to pay, so they were given an offer. Sell their organs, or me.
"So I was shipped to a few places with some other kids. I was never a pretty little thing like you, darling, but I was young, and had a nice healthy body. So it was nothing a bit of make-up couldn't fix. I ended up passing through quite a few brothels. As all illegal operations were, we had to keep moving all the time.
"At some point I ended up in this house in Thailand. We stayed there for a year or two, long enough for me to get comfortable. I was pretty popular back then, so I was well fed and well dressed. But then I hit puberty and I was getting less customers. Tilt your head to the left.
"At one point, there was this one well paying client going around. Really important man. All we knew was that all the kids he has had ended up dead after a few nights. And then it was my turn."
"Was that your first kill?" Kikyo interrupted, he could take a guess on how that one went.
"Ah, yes, it was. He didn't tie me up properly, so I wriggled out. I pretended to fall unconscious and slit his throat with his own knife after he was done with me. I finished it with the corpse as his body cooled," a quick dab with the brush, a sharp stroke of indigo, "Open your eyes, dear."
Kikyo obeyed. He had this slightly concerned expression, but didn't seem too surprised.
"There's something that sticks with you for your first kill, you know? The adrenaline. For the first time in my life, I felt powerful, I felt in control," he said, casually, chuckling a bit in embarrassment, like an older woman sharing about her first time with her younger girl friends.
The Cloud's expression softens. He gave his companion a smile of understanding. "I can relate."
"Anyway, when they found me with the body, I thought I was gonna. I spent the night locked up in a cellar and waiting for someone to kill me. The next morning, I was met with this other important looking man in a suit. Apparently, he bought me, permanently.
"He told me that he was an assassin, and I took out his target for him. Apparently he was looking for an apprentice, and apparently I made a pretty clean kill for a first-timer. He was the previous Sun Guardian of Varia, my mentor.
"He was on an extended assignment, slash holiday, at Thailand. It was another year until I was officially inducted into Varia. And here, I found my family," he paused, putting one final touch to the eyeshadow. He placed two fingers below Kikyo's chin, and the other lifted his head up cooperatively.
"There we go, all done," Lussuria beamed, mirror in hand.
"Thank you, it's beautiful," Kikyo replied, looking at his reflection, and once again, Lussuria wondered if the younger is just humouring him.
"It was a good story. You're amazing, Lussuria," the Cloud placed a hand on his, "I'm glad he found you. I'm glad you're here."
Wine
A wine bottle flew through the air, directly at Squalo's head.
The first time this scene played out, Kikyo was puzzled. He have fought both against and beside Squalo in battles. From what he have seen of the swordsman's ability, it would have been simple for Squalo to dodge the wine bottle. Yet he does not. The bottle broke with a crash upon its impact with Squalo's head. Loud cursing soon followed.
Kikyo have watched the scene play out several times by now. Upon the third time, he made sure to pay special attention to the commander. As the winebottle sail through the air, Squalo's body tensed. It's not a reflex to dodge, rather, Squalo seem to be fighting against his reflex to dodge.
The same old routine proceeded. The glass shatters, leaving slivers of of blood and red wine to run down their commander's hair. Loud swearing, Xanxus scowling.
Kikyo cleaned up the spilt wine and the broken glass.
But this time is different. This time, Kikyo shot a vine at the bottle, catching it in midair.
The room froze.
Ever so calmly, he took the bottle of wine in his hands.
Walk up to Xanxus, bow your head, maintain eye contact. This is not a threat, this is an offering.
Lowering his gaze, he pours the Chianti into the wineglass in Xanxus's hand.
The wineglass was set on the table with a quiet clack as Kikyo felt his head yanked forward by the roots of his hair. A practiced motion, Kikyo noted. The cold metal of a gun barrel slamed against his chin. He was back in the interrogation chamber.
I'm going to die.
'Too bad, Lussuria would be disappointed,' he thought, his heart picked up at the thought.
Ah. When was the last time he feared death?
For the first time since his world was burned in flame, Kikyo felt alive.
"Xanxus," Squalo's eyes carried a hint of warning, it's the same look he has before his sword slices through someone's throat. Behind them, Kikyo could hear Lussuria's panicked protest.
A tense moment passed between the Boss and his swordsman, with Kikyo right in the middle of it.
The sound of gunshot sent Kikyo's whole world ringing, accompanied by a sharp jolt of pain from the left side of his head. Something wet slit down his face and his vision was coloured red. Instinctively, he shot his vines towards Xanxus.
Squalo's sword flashed, and Xanxus was pushed out of the way. Squalo was on top of him, blunt of the sword pressed against his throat. He was shouting something, but Kikyo couldn't hear a word that was said, thanks to the ringing in his ear. The red was from the wine, he realized, not blood. Ricochet. The gun was fired besides his ear. He's alive.
"Slow down," he asked Squalo, "I can't hear anything." But the swordsman was already gone, dashing after Xanxus who's turned on his heels.
Having been in similar situations, Kikyo knew that his hearing should recover by the following day. Which meant he'd have to see to reschedule the Genoard job with Squalo, or convince Lussuria to sub for him on his night off.
His head still rang from the gun, black spots were clouding his vision and the wine stung his eyes. The side of his face stung. He picked himself up, taking Lussuria's offered hand and made an attempt to give the man a half smile. Acute headache and nausea hits him as soon as he stood up. Lussuria's hands were on his shoulders, steadying him. Due to the disorientation and deafness, he was unable to tell whether Lussaria was actually saying anything, but he gave his thanks nonetheless. The steadying hand on his shoulder and the healing sun flame at his temple helped a lot.
"You may have to sub in for me for Genoard, Lussaria."
Squalo came in about an hour later to shout at him, only to stomp out after realizing that he still can't hear anything. Kikyo apologized, smiling helplessly. It's just a little comical.
'Forget about Genoard. I'll go with Belphagor,' the commander left him with a note. For someone who constantly screams at everyone, Squalo's handwriting is surprisingly neat.
"He told you to mind your own fucking business," Lussuria mouthed, slowly, so Kikyo could read his lips, "it's not nice to cut into a lover's spat, love."
"Is that was it was?"
"Squalo and the Boss were together before the rest of us, they have their own method of communication," Lussuria answered, speaking with wisdom from personal experience.
Kikyo remembers the warning tone, the open bloodlust. It was the tone Squalo reserve for the more serious commands, when he's in control.
He remembers the deliberation in Squalo's tensed shoulders right before the winebottle made contact with his head.
He remembers the bloodlust directed towards himself when Squalo pushed Xanxus out of the way. The blunt of the sword against his airpipe. It seemed... almost possessive.
Kikyo remembers the story behind Squalo's hair.
Perhaps, Xanxus, as he is now, is a product of Squalo's creation. His life's work.
"Maybe love's not the right word for it."
Obsession? Co-dependency? Symbiosis?
Lussuria shook his head in amused disapproval, "That way lies madness, my dear."
Kikyo chuckled.
"You know, Lussuria, I felt the fear of death today."
To fear death is to live.
"Thank you," Kikyo smiled, conveying gratitude, "It's good to be alive."
Lussuria stared at him, expression surprised. He smiled and said something Kikyo couldn't quite catch, before his arms wrapped around Kikyo in a tight embrace. It felt warm as their hearts thumped against one another's. Warm. Alive. Human.
His hearing returned the following day, though the ringing and headache persisted.
For the sake of self-preservation, everyone were all too happy to pretend the whole incident never happened.
Xanxus never did throw a wine bottle after that, though.
Spring
Irie Shouichi checks up on him once in a while. They don't have much to say, but it's nice to have someone he can openly dislike. Bitterness is a nice sentiment to hold onto.
"They're Millefiore," Kikyo states, a question in his voice. He recognize the men in the files.
"Is there a problem, Traitor?" asked Levi with a sneer. Kikyo could feel the weight of Squalo's stare.
"Not particularly," he answered with with a smile, "but I thought they were Irie's."
"It's actually a favor. Internal cleansing," Squalo said, with his trademark savage grin.
'That mercy will be the death of you, someday.'
"Oh-ho?"
"Voi, what's so funny?"
"Ah. It's nothing, Commander," explained the Cloud with a fond smile, "I'm just glad he's finally taking my advice."
In the Varia garden, there were white orchids and bluebells and daisies and pomegranate and wolfbanes.
And then there were the white chrysanthemum, for loyalty and the sweeping silver hair.
The spider lilies, for the scars that marks their Boss.
The hibiscus, for beauty, glory, and the red dash of feathers.
Oleanders, for brilliance and caution.
Cactuses, for the overzealous child with sharp umbrellas.
Opium poppies, for sweet dreams and magic.
Perennials are plants that can survive through the winter.
Small flowering plants that grow and bloom over the spring and summer, die back every autumn and winter, and then return in the spring from their rootstock, are known as herbaceous perennials.
Kikyo, the Japanese bellflower, is a species native to East Asia. It is one of the hardiest perennial flowers. Its roots are often used in asian herbal medicine.