Blurb Summary: There are so many elephants in the room that nobody in the office can get any work done until someone deals with them all.
Author: Lady Proserpina
Email: LadyProserpinaATyahooDOTcom
Rating: K
Warnings: EWE. Maybe a little OOC.
Pairings: Draco/Hermione
Status: Complete, Drabble
Credits: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. I don't claim to own anything. However, I do kindly request that you don't steal my ideas. I am earning nothing from this other than writing experience and minor fanfiction fame.
AN: This story grew entirely from the title idea. It's just a drabble, and I have no intention of doing anything else with it.
The Elephant Sanctuary
Susan Bones and Terry Boot shook from the effort of not looking up from their desks. It was incredibly hard, but they'd learned their lesson- don't look up when Hermione and Draco were in a mood.
The two had been sniping at each other all day, and it really would have gotten in the way of the office's work, if Bones and Boot hadn't used work as a way to ignore the fight. Draco and Hermione usually stuck to sullen glares and snide comments, but for some reason, today they were louder. Bones figured that it was the weather. Boot figured that it was an upcoming performance review. Whatever it was, something was really goading the two to go after each other much more overtly than normal.
Boot put the finishing touches on his report and handed it to Bones to review. That would usually have been Hermione's job, but he didn't want to interrupt what was turning into a regular vocal brawl.
"Did you get any results from the field test?" Bones asked in response to his report, which was shorter than normal, due to Draco not completing his section this morning. Boot was pretty sure that the argument originally began over Draco's incomplete field test, since Hermione's job as team manager put her in charge of their results. However, it had been at least an hour since any of the flying comments were related to the field test. Now, they were seething general criticisms and defamations of character.
"He never submitted his results," Boot began, hesitant to use Draco's name and attract unwanted attention. "I'm not sure if he has them somewhere around here, or if he has them at home. Thankfully, I trust him enough to believe that he at least did the test and has the results around somewhere."
Their discussion was interrupted when a memo flew into the room towards Draco, who read it, crumpled it, and tossed it at Hermione. Bones and Boot watched as she turned red and fumed.
"Do you remember when this was a professional office?" Bones hissed at Boot, who chuckled.
He opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted again, this time by Hermione screeching, "Avis!" and causing a swarm of small birds to attack Draco.
"Remember when we could get through a day without a malicious spell flying?"
"Remember when we could get through a day without some conjured animal or whirlwind messing up our files?" Bones added, watching the birds begin knocking papers off of Draco's desk.
"Remember that glorious day when Hermione wasn't here, and we got five whole reports done?"
"Every time you and Draco are out on assignment, Hermione and I polish reports and organize the files. It's wonderful."
"Remember when he was first transferred over here and was too nervous to say anything remotely accusatory?"
"Remember when she was more concerned with getting work done than rising to his bait?"
"I'm pretty sure they had some kind of run-in at that year's Christmas banquet."
"That explains so much. You can cut the tension in here with a wand, sometimes."
"Maybe if they stopped fighting and went out on a proper date for once, it'd get better."
"Imagine how nice the office would be if they took all of this energy and put it towards something constructive, like a nice intimate-"
"WHAT?" Two voices ceased arguing, as they were distracted by their colleagues' conversation, and shouted simultaneously.
"Well, don't try to argue! Draco, I know you like Hermione," Boot began.
"And Hermione, I know you have this weird thing for Draco," Bones continued, "So you two should just get it over with already!"
The four adults stared at each other, two of them in frustration and two of them in embarrassment.
"Well fine," Hermione huffed. "I don't need to take this. Draco, let's go get lunch and let them calm down."
"Fine by me. My treat."
They both stalked out the door, pausing while Draco held it open for Hermione.
As the door slammed shut, Boot and Bones looked at each other and smirked. "Finally," They said in unison as they high-fived.
"Now that those white elephants are gone, we can get some real work done."
Bones just smiled at him and said, "Accio Draco's field report."