Disclaimer: I obviously did not create these characters. I obviously write this stuff myself, only a single twisted mind could deliver such trash.
Personal Disclaimer: I am a graduate student, I spend 90% of my time reading and proofreading important papers for my like, you know, um, future, so don't count on a lot of proofreading of my fanfics. As a matter of fact a good bet would be at least four spelling errors and an abominable lack of punctuation.
Oh, also, I love feedback, the good, the bad, and the ugly, but mostly the good. :)
Buffy, Angel, Riley, Giles, Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara, Spike and Cordelia are all sitting in a semi circle staring at a computer screen, the message flashes, new message.
Buffy: we should read it
Xander: you are a braver woman than I, I mean, a man, I mean I'm a man, um...
Willow: we don't have to read it
Giles: actually, it is written in the third book of shippongraphy of the late eleventh century
Cordelia: blah blah blah, we have to read it eventually the question is, are you a pull the bandage off slowly, or rip it off in one big move kinda person
Spike: well actually I'm more of a create a new wound and suck all the blood kinda guy
Angel: no one asked you, (to Buffy) well honey what do you think now...later, never (hopefully)
Riley: hey don't call her honey, you have your own show, you're probably not even in this one
Angel gives Riley a dismissive smirk, right, and you are, cause there are so many Buffy/Riley fans out there.
Riley: arms crossed, belligerently, there are some.
Angel: there are also some more Riley must die sights out there, I've never seen an angel must die sight, yeah, you have a huge fan base you big boring doof.
Riley: hey, you can complain all you want but whose got the girl, huh, you soul losing, brooding, billowing coat, demon.
Angel: smiling, they love me, they hate you.... She loves me, she's only reading the lines with you.
Riley gets up to threaten Angel
Buffy intercedes. Look, you get me Riley, from 8-9 every Tuesday and the rest of the time, well, I don't know how to say this but you're a doof, and I have my own Riley must die sight and a few others bookmarked. The truth is, here, or in cyber, I am with Angel.
Riley looks confused,...but Joss said, right joss runs our life from 8-9 Tuesdays but the fans run it the rest of the time, and they hate you, and I hate you. And the only one who doesn't hate you is Xander and that's because you are the only guy they have ever put me with who is more of a doof than him.
Xander: hey, that hurt
Anya: but it's true, I mean everything is Buffy, I'm tired of wearing that blond wig and carrying a stake to bed.
Uncomfortable silence as they all stare at Xander
Xander: well, who's for reading the new fic huh?
Spike: lets do it mates, there's a Manchester united game on the telly soon.
Willow: I don't know some of them are pretty bad
Spike: yeah but this one could be good, maybe it'll make Buffy a vampire and I'll get a go at her
Angel stands up ready to do battle with William the bloody
Buffy grabs his hand, honey sit down and brood some more, you know it will most likely put spike and willow together, and turn him into a big whiny baby.
Spike: Ow
sorry, I was thinking about what I'd like to do to all those shippers who castrate me and put me with he mousy red wiccin over there, and the chip in my head went off.
Willow and Tara in unison: HEY!
Giles: all right lets read the bloody thing so that I can get back to living in a lifestyle that there is no way I could support being unemployed and not having a green card.
Angel: I'll open it...
Cordelia: no let me,
Angel Smiles at Cordelia, Buffy frowns and elbows him hard in the side. The screen loads an image from the first season, they all groan at the younger stupider less fully formed versions of themselves, then the text appears.
Interior Giles apartment.
Giles: well that's original, no one ever puts us in here, Christ what I wouldn't give for a walk in the park
Buffy: shut up Giles lets just get this over with,
Angel is sitting on a chair, Buffy is straddling his lap facing him.
They take their positions and Angel can't help but smirk at Riley over Buffy's shoulder
Anya is sitting on the couch and Xander is on the floor his back leaning against her legs.
Willow is sitting next to Xander and Tara is behind her, her hand almost but not quite touching her hair
Giles is standing in the kitchen pouring himself a drink, spike is drinking blood from a bag, Cordelia is pacing with a book in her hands.
Buffy: Okay everybody in position,
Xander: yeah so far nothing painful.
Angel: no pain here, his hands roam up under buffy's sweater, Riley pouts
The doorbell rings it is Riley,
Riley smiles and heads to the door.
Cordelia answers the door, and smiles at the good looking, if somewhat bland fellow at the door, are you selling something she asks?
Riley gives her a puzzled look, I came to see Buffy.
Oh, she's here I'll get her.
Buffy Jumps off of Angels Lap, he broods prettily as she goes over to greet Riley
Buffy: Riley
Riley: Buffy
Buffy: what are you doing here,
Riley: um we had a thing, later and I thought maybe we could start now you know, he looks at her suggestively. She looks back at him, not knowing how to break his bland little heart.
Cordelia slinks away from the door, but doesn't go far enough to miss the action.
Xander looks up from anyas hand on his shoulder and heads towards the door. Riley, hey man, it's good to see you, you look good, but maybe you should come back, um later?
Riley: shoulders his way in, something's going on , what is it, is their trouble afoot
Cordelia: afoot? Afoot? Who talks like that, what is with you are you like from the hellmouth of the fifties or something.
Riley, again looking perplexed, no, I'm from Iowa
Cordelia: kinda the same thing huh,
Buffy takes Riley's arm and says, we need to talk,
Riley: fine, lets go outside, get some privacy, he looks pointedly at Angel
Buffy: no point, I'm gonna tell them everything we say later anyway, and this will save me time, here goes
remember when you said that if I was gonna break your heart I should do it fast?
Riley Yeah
Buffy: well, it turns out that the curse to restore Angel's soul is only a curse if it's meant to be one, but since willow kinda liked him and thought we should be together it actually was placed on him as a blessing and as a blessing... well, no loopholes.
Riley: no loop holes?
Cordelia: see the forbidden love of all time, is no longer forbidden
Riley just looks more puzzled
Buffy: in English, I can fuck Angel's brains out, and I'm gonna, we're gonna have all kinds of sex, and not just that sweet Sarah Maclaughlin kind of sex that is the only kind you know, hot sweaty (well at least on my part, angel doesn't sweat) sex, nasty fun sex, kinky sex, you know, good sex.
Riley: wow, you really don't pull punches in any part of your life do you.
Cordelia, if it helps, I'm gonna have to get over this crush on angel thing I have going and I'm kind of hot, wanna go for it.
Riley: um, yeah? (questioningly)
Buffy turns back to angel who is standing directly behind her, he kisses her, his hands roaming down her body, she removes his shirt in the middle of Giles apartment his tattoo ripples under his smooth sinewy back, her perfectly manicured nails (slayers don't break nails, how cool is that) glide gently over his back.
Giles interrupts with a clearing of the throat I know I am not much of a father figure but as the only one you have I might be scarred for life should this go any further in my apartment, so to put it bluntly, would you two go get a room?
They look at each other and smile,
in unison: Good Idea and they walk past Riley and out into the night.
Fade back to the computer screen now blank
willow: well I wasn't in that at all
Tara: and how come I never get to touch you
Xander: who writes this shit for me, I am way funnier than these people make me out to be
Giles: please all of you could we not lose sight of the fact that the holes in the plot would fit my car and then maybe another car, even bigger
Riley, still pouting I didn't like it, even if I did get Cordelia
Cordelia, since when do I have a crush on Angel
They all groan in unison (oh please, it is sooooo obvious)
Anya: is it so hard to give me a line, a single line, to prove my existence.
Xander, I know you exist honey,
Spike: well, at least I didn't have to get all sappy and poetic again, ...Ow, that damn chip catches every thought
Angel looks at Buffy and smiles
Buffy looks back at Angel. I liked it
Angel So did I
The end for now
Personal Disclaimer: I am a graduate student, I spend 90% of my time reading and proofreading important papers for my like, you know, um, future, so don't count on a lot of proofreading of my fanfics. As a matter of fact a good bet would be at least four spelling errors and an abominable lack of punctuation.
Oh, also, I love feedback, the good, the bad, and the ugly, but mostly the good. :)
Buffy, Angel, Riley, Giles, Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara, Spike and Cordelia are all sitting in a semi circle staring at a computer screen, the message flashes, new message.
Buffy: we should read it
Xander: you are a braver woman than I, I mean, a man, I mean I'm a man, um...
Willow: we don't have to read it
Giles: actually, it is written in the third book of shippongraphy of the late eleventh century
Cordelia: blah blah blah, we have to read it eventually the question is, are you a pull the bandage off slowly, or rip it off in one big move kinda person
Spike: well actually I'm more of a create a new wound and suck all the blood kinda guy
Angel: no one asked you, (to Buffy) well honey what do you think now...later, never (hopefully)
Riley: hey don't call her honey, you have your own show, you're probably not even in this one
Angel gives Riley a dismissive smirk, right, and you are, cause there are so many Buffy/Riley fans out there.
Riley: arms crossed, belligerently, there are some.
Angel: there are also some more Riley must die sights out there, I've never seen an angel must die sight, yeah, you have a huge fan base you big boring doof.
Riley: hey, you can complain all you want but whose got the girl, huh, you soul losing, brooding, billowing coat, demon.
Angel: smiling, they love me, they hate you.... She loves me, she's only reading the lines with you.
Riley gets up to threaten Angel
Buffy intercedes. Look, you get me Riley, from 8-9 every Tuesday and the rest of the time, well, I don't know how to say this but you're a doof, and I have my own Riley must die sight and a few others bookmarked. The truth is, here, or in cyber, I am with Angel.
Riley looks confused,...but Joss said, right joss runs our life from 8-9 Tuesdays but the fans run it the rest of the time, and they hate you, and I hate you. And the only one who doesn't hate you is Xander and that's because you are the only guy they have ever put me with who is more of a doof than him.
Xander: hey, that hurt
Anya: but it's true, I mean everything is Buffy, I'm tired of wearing that blond wig and carrying a stake to bed.
Uncomfortable silence as they all stare at Xander
Xander: well, who's for reading the new fic huh?
Spike: lets do it mates, there's a Manchester united game on the telly soon.
Willow: I don't know some of them are pretty bad
Spike: yeah but this one could be good, maybe it'll make Buffy a vampire and I'll get a go at her
Angel stands up ready to do battle with William the bloody
Buffy grabs his hand, honey sit down and brood some more, you know it will most likely put spike and willow together, and turn him into a big whiny baby.
Spike: Ow
sorry, I was thinking about what I'd like to do to all those shippers who castrate me and put me with he mousy red wiccin over there, and the chip in my head went off.
Willow and Tara in unison: HEY!
Giles: all right lets read the bloody thing so that I can get back to living in a lifestyle that there is no way I could support being unemployed and not having a green card.
Angel: I'll open it...
Cordelia: no let me,
Angel Smiles at Cordelia, Buffy frowns and elbows him hard in the side. The screen loads an image from the first season, they all groan at the younger stupider less fully formed versions of themselves, then the text appears.
Interior Giles apartment.
Giles: well that's original, no one ever puts us in here, Christ what I wouldn't give for a walk in the park
Buffy: shut up Giles lets just get this over with,
Angel is sitting on a chair, Buffy is straddling his lap facing him.
They take their positions and Angel can't help but smirk at Riley over Buffy's shoulder
Anya is sitting on the couch and Xander is on the floor his back leaning against her legs.
Willow is sitting next to Xander and Tara is behind her, her hand almost but not quite touching her hair
Giles is standing in the kitchen pouring himself a drink, spike is drinking blood from a bag, Cordelia is pacing with a book in her hands.
Buffy: Okay everybody in position,
Xander: yeah so far nothing painful.
Angel: no pain here, his hands roam up under buffy's sweater, Riley pouts
The doorbell rings it is Riley,
Riley smiles and heads to the door.
Cordelia answers the door, and smiles at the good looking, if somewhat bland fellow at the door, are you selling something she asks?
Riley gives her a puzzled look, I came to see Buffy.
Oh, she's here I'll get her.
Buffy Jumps off of Angels Lap, he broods prettily as she goes over to greet Riley
Buffy: Riley
Riley: Buffy
Buffy: what are you doing here,
Riley: um we had a thing, later and I thought maybe we could start now you know, he looks at her suggestively. She looks back at him, not knowing how to break his bland little heart.
Cordelia slinks away from the door, but doesn't go far enough to miss the action.
Xander looks up from anyas hand on his shoulder and heads towards the door. Riley, hey man, it's good to see you, you look good, but maybe you should come back, um later?
Riley: shoulders his way in, something's going on , what is it, is their trouble afoot
Cordelia: afoot? Afoot? Who talks like that, what is with you are you like from the hellmouth of the fifties or something.
Riley, again looking perplexed, no, I'm from Iowa
Cordelia: kinda the same thing huh,
Buffy takes Riley's arm and says, we need to talk,
Riley: fine, lets go outside, get some privacy, he looks pointedly at Angel
Buffy: no point, I'm gonna tell them everything we say later anyway, and this will save me time, here goes
remember when you said that if I was gonna break your heart I should do it fast?
Riley Yeah
Buffy: well, it turns out that the curse to restore Angel's soul is only a curse if it's meant to be one, but since willow kinda liked him and thought we should be together it actually was placed on him as a blessing and as a blessing... well, no loopholes.
Riley: no loop holes?
Cordelia: see the forbidden love of all time, is no longer forbidden
Riley just looks more puzzled
Buffy: in English, I can fuck Angel's brains out, and I'm gonna, we're gonna have all kinds of sex, and not just that sweet Sarah Maclaughlin kind of sex that is the only kind you know, hot sweaty (well at least on my part, angel doesn't sweat) sex, nasty fun sex, kinky sex, you know, good sex.
Riley: wow, you really don't pull punches in any part of your life do you.
Cordelia, if it helps, I'm gonna have to get over this crush on angel thing I have going and I'm kind of hot, wanna go for it.
Riley: um, yeah? (questioningly)
Buffy turns back to angel who is standing directly behind her, he kisses her, his hands roaming down her body, she removes his shirt in the middle of Giles apartment his tattoo ripples under his smooth sinewy back, her perfectly manicured nails (slayers don't break nails, how cool is that) glide gently over his back.
Giles interrupts with a clearing of the throat I know I am not much of a father figure but as the only one you have I might be scarred for life should this go any further in my apartment, so to put it bluntly, would you two go get a room?
They look at each other and smile,
in unison: Good Idea and they walk past Riley and out into the night.
Fade back to the computer screen now blank
willow: well I wasn't in that at all
Tara: and how come I never get to touch you
Xander: who writes this shit for me, I am way funnier than these people make me out to be
Giles: please all of you could we not lose sight of the fact that the holes in the plot would fit my car and then maybe another car, even bigger
Riley, still pouting I didn't like it, even if I did get Cordelia
Cordelia, since when do I have a crush on Angel
They all groan in unison (oh please, it is sooooo obvious)
Anya: is it so hard to give me a line, a single line, to prove my existence.
Xander, I know you exist honey,
Spike: well, at least I didn't have to get all sappy and poetic again, ...Ow, that damn chip catches every thought
Angel looks at Buffy and smiles
Buffy looks back at Angel. I liked it
Angel So did I
The end for now