ok, you know how this goes. Mac, Foster, Farva, and Ursula don't belong to me, they belong to Fox Searchlight and Broken Lizard.
This is dedicated to the guys of Broken Lizard, and Emily, who has put up with me telling her everything about the movie after I saw it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Foster and Mac stepped out of their cruiser. "I'll wait here." Foster said, leaning against the passenger door. He stared at the house. Next to the window was a man, completely oblivious to Foster's advancing partner.
"Farva, what the hell are you doing?" The man jumped what Foster guessed to be about a foot in the air. Farva looked looked scared. "Mac! What are you doing here?" Mac motioned to the window. "That lady you're looking at called us. Said some weird, fat guy was staring in her window." Farva was elated, and a dreamy expression crossed her face. "She noticed me." Mac looked back to Foster and shrugged. Turning back to Farva, he took his handcuffs off his belt. "Alright buddy," he winced as he said this,"hands behind your back." "What?!?!" Farva shouted. As if the fact that the police, his "friends" had showed up wasn't embarassing enough, now he was being led away in handcuffs. "Shut up, Farva. It's just for show." Mac whispered. Farva relented and the handcuffs were slapped on. "Not so tight." He protested. Mac began talking loudly. "Alright Mr. Let's go." He led Farva to the cruiser. "Wait!" A woman came running from the backyard. She stopped in front of Mac and Farva. "Arresting one of your own?" Farva hid his smile and looked to Mac. "What do you mean?" The lady tossed Farva's badge to the ground by their feet. "This was left by my window." Mac searched for a response. Just then Foster piped up. "Uh, that's mine." The Lady just smiled. "Then what's that?" She pointed to the badge on his chest. Foster patted Farva on the shoulder. "Sorry. I tried to help." Mac took the handcuffs off Farva, who, rubbing his wrists, tried to avoid meeting her eyes. "So you're my stalker." He winced. He'd hoped she wouldn't bring that up. Mac picked up on it quickly and grinned. "Stalker?" She nodded. "Yeah. He's followed to the grocery store, the gym. He's even followed me to my son's soccer game." Mac was just barely holding back his laughter. He needed to remember all this. Thorny would love it. "Why didn't you report him earlier?" Foster asked. "Look at him. I didn't think he was smart enough to actually try anything. I was right too. Look at him. Arrested by his co-workers." A deep red appeared on Farva's cheeks. "No wonder you've been leaving work early lately. I'm sure O'Hagan would like that." Mac said. The lady extended her hand. "I'm Julia Harmon." Mac and Foster each shook her hand. Farva was still too embarassed to look at her. Foster kicked him lightly in the back of the leg. "You'll stalk her but you won't shake her hand?" Farva turned and stared Foster in the eye. "I'm going back to the station now. I need to get ready." He said, then he turned and walked off. Julia looked puzzled. "What does he need to get ready for?" "Tomorrow is the twelfth annual Spurbury Chug for Charity." Mac explained. "And for twelve years straight Farva has won." Foster added. "But only because Thorny's never entered. But this year we talked him into it. Julia nodded. Sounds like a good time, but I need to get back inside now. Ben will getting worried." Foster's smile fell. "Is that your husband?" Mac looked like he wanted to hit Foster, but he had to hold his arm back. At least until Julia went back inside. "No. He's my son. My ex-husband lived in Arizona with his secretary." "I'm sorry to hear that." Foster said, suppressing his smile. "We need to go too. But I hope to see you at the Chug tomorrow." With that he and Mac climbed into their cruiser where Mac proceeded to hit Foster. "Why do you care if she's married? You have Ursula!" He said, as the car drove down the road. Though they didn't know it, Julia had already made up her mind. She was definitely going to the Chug for Charity. Maybe she would like this town after all.
This is dedicated to the guys of Broken Lizard, and Emily, who has put up with me telling her everything about the movie after I saw it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Foster and Mac stepped out of their cruiser. "I'll wait here." Foster said, leaning against the passenger door. He stared at the house. Next to the window was a man, completely oblivious to Foster's advancing partner.
"Farva, what the hell are you doing?" The man jumped what Foster guessed to be about a foot in the air. Farva looked looked scared. "Mac! What are you doing here?" Mac motioned to the window. "That lady you're looking at called us. Said some weird, fat guy was staring in her window." Farva was elated, and a dreamy expression crossed her face. "She noticed me." Mac looked back to Foster and shrugged. Turning back to Farva, he took his handcuffs off his belt. "Alright buddy," he winced as he said this,"hands behind your back." "What?!?!" Farva shouted. As if the fact that the police, his "friends" had showed up wasn't embarassing enough, now he was being led away in handcuffs. "Shut up, Farva. It's just for show." Mac whispered. Farva relented and the handcuffs were slapped on. "Not so tight." He protested. Mac began talking loudly. "Alright Mr. Let's go." He led Farva to the cruiser. "Wait!" A woman came running from the backyard. She stopped in front of Mac and Farva. "Arresting one of your own?" Farva hid his smile and looked to Mac. "What do you mean?" The lady tossed Farva's badge to the ground by their feet. "This was left by my window." Mac searched for a response. Just then Foster piped up. "Uh, that's mine." The Lady just smiled. "Then what's that?" She pointed to the badge on his chest. Foster patted Farva on the shoulder. "Sorry. I tried to help." Mac took the handcuffs off Farva, who, rubbing his wrists, tried to avoid meeting her eyes. "So you're my stalker." He winced. He'd hoped she wouldn't bring that up. Mac picked up on it quickly and grinned. "Stalker?" She nodded. "Yeah. He's followed to the grocery store, the gym. He's even followed me to my son's soccer game." Mac was just barely holding back his laughter. He needed to remember all this. Thorny would love it. "Why didn't you report him earlier?" Foster asked. "Look at him. I didn't think he was smart enough to actually try anything. I was right too. Look at him. Arrested by his co-workers." A deep red appeared on Farva's cheeks. "No wonder you've been leaving work early lately. I'm sure O'Hagan would like that." Mac said. The lady extended her hand. "I'm Julia Harmon." Mac and Foster each shook her hand. Farva was still too embarassed to look at her. Foster kicked him lightly in the back of the leg. "You'll stalk her but you won't shake her hand?" Farva turned and stared Foster in the eye. "I'm going back to the station now. I need to get ready." He said, then he turned and walked off. Julia looked puzzled. "What does he need to get ready for?" "Tomorrow is the twelfth annual Spurbury Chug for Charity." Mac explained. "And for twelve years straight Farva has won." Foster added. "But only because Thorny's never entered. But this year we talked him into it. Julia nodded. Sounds like a good time, but I need to get back inside now. Ben will getting worried." Foster's smile fell. "Is that your husband?" Mac looked like he wanted to hit Foster, but he had to hold his arm back. At least until Julia went back inside. "No. He's my son. My ex-husband lived in Arizona with his secretary." "I'm sorry to hear that." Foster said, suppressing his smile. "We need to go too. But I hope to see you at the Chug tomorrow." With that he and Mac climbed into their cruiser where Mac proceeded to hit Foster. "Why do you care if she's married? You have Ursula!" He said, as the car drove down the road. Though they didn't know it, Julia had already made up her mind. She was definitely going to the Chug for Charity. Maybe she would like this town after all.