People tell me, and I listen. See, I listen very closely. But I don't always follow.
It's the following that kills me.
I can almost hear Mum's relaxed voice travel from the kitchen downstairs, up into my closed bedroom. After I found James and the others, she's been winding down and becoming a little more placid, slowly learning how to let go without letting me drift.
"Remus, it's past nine! Are you just going to let your days slip by?"
But I'm not in my bed, dozing through the soporific heat. I'm not in the bathroom either, brushing my teeth or scrubbing my face.
I'm gone. Simply gone, along with a medium-sized satchel and an armful of clothes. No note. Goodbye, Mum. You were less than ten minutes late. By the time she hurries back down to inform Father, the four of us, the four infamous Marauders, are sprinting for the train that's slowly pulling out of the station.
Prongs. Wormtail. Me. And Padfoot. All of us going on this massive runaway journey, wands tightly clutched in our fists and our pockets jingling with whatever money we could scrounge up. It was a spur of the moment thing, after Peter had another fight with his dad and the Blacks threatened to blast Sirius from the family tree. James came up with it. I had no reason for running, but I knew I was making the right decision; I was right where I needed to be. I was always running from things.
"Guys, wait!"
Pete can't quite run as quickly as the rest of us, and I'm the only one who slows down to wait for him. James eventually doubles back and grabs his bag for him with a crooked grin and sharp remark. We keep running.
"Just a little faster, we'll make it…"
Sirius's voice is suddenly so close to my ear, barely panting, and before I realize it, his fingers are entwined with mine and he urges me along. I stare at it and then at him, but his determined eyes are only for the end of the train. Although, the grin on his face just might be for me.
It's that warm hand pressed against mine that makes my cheeks flush and put whatever energy I have left into making my sickly legs continue moving. But we end up unable to catch up with the train, and have to walk begrudgingly back to the platform and wait for the next one. Sirius is still holding my hand, and for some reason, I don't care anymore if we even make it past town.
What we did during those 40 balmy days of summer holidays, I'll never forget. By the time our folks all dropped us off at Hogwarts, thoroughly punished and told off, we were invigorated, sun-ripened, and full of untold secrets. Sirius and I shared the biggest one.