A/N: Sequel to Cell phone thoughtsbut it's not necessary to read that one first to understand this one. All you have to know; after the events in Duluth Dean never called, so one day Jo called him instead. They got into an argument and never spoke again after that. Jo's still pissed about Dean's behavior and Dean...well… Dean went and sold his soul for Sam.

A/N: Checked with Vista, remaining errors are mine.

Disclaimer: They aren't mine, they belong the Eric Kripke and his crew.

Part 1

She'd left home with a banging door and no goodbye and she returned with a banging door and no hello.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's nice to see you, too, Joanna Beth," said Ellen and looked up from the table she'd been cleaning. What she saw scared her. Jo looked pale and even thinner than she'd had when she'd left over a year ago. There was a nasty cut on her right cheek that surely would turn into a scar; her hair looked like she hadn't washed it in days.

"Honey, you look awful…let me…" she stepped forward but Jo moved away from her.

Talk to your Mom, please. It might sound cheesy, but you've really no idea what you have until it is gone, or leaving.

Jo took a deep breath and tried to speak calmer.

"Why didn't you tell me.?"

"Tell you what, Jo?"

"About. About…," Jo's voice suddenly broke, and Ellen understood.

"Dean," she whispered, "look, Jo, I had no idea. Well, until Bobby told me, three weeks ago. That was two weeks before Dean… you know."

Jo sat down and buried her face into her hands. Ellen sighed and sat next to her, she raised a hand to put it on her daughters shoulder; but hesitated unsure what to do.

"Jo, it wouldn't have changed anything…"

I wanted to call, believe me. But would it really have been better, easier? Or worse?

"The last thing I said to him was Arse," mumbled Jo.

"I'm sure he knew you didn't mean it."

Ellen finally pulled Jo into a hug and Jo didn't fight her off. Tears formed in Ellen's eyes, tears for Dean, because she'd liked him. And tears for her daughter, and the destiny she'd tried so hart to keep away from her. If being a hunter was a dark life, being the wife of a hunter was even darker. She'd known that Dean was a good guy. Sam had told her a long time ago, that Dean had tried to talk Jo out of hunting. That had also shown Ellen how much the boy cared for her daughter. But he was a hunter, and it was a dangerous business. She'd feared that he would die before his time and break Jo's heart, just like Bill's death had left her heartbroken. And now? He was gone and her daughter was broken.

"Where did they…where did they…bury him?"

Ellen's head flew up; realizing that Jo didn't knew the whole story.

"They didn't. The hellhound's came and Sam couldn't save him. Than that demon, Lillith, tried to kill Sam, but failed. When Sam finally got to his brother, Dean's soul was gone, but his body…well...his heart was still beating. But the doctors say he'll never wake up again. Bobby and Sam, they think that maybe the power that protected Sam when Lillith attacked also protected Dean in some way."

"He's alive?"

For the first time since she'd stepped into the new Roadhouse, Ellen saw something that at least looked like it was alive in her daughter's eyes. Her heart bled when she answered her.

"I wouldn't call it alive, Jo. His body is still there, and maybe, just maybe, that's a good thing. Because if Sam will ever be able to bring him back… But Jo, the chance that this will happen is almost zero."

I know you want to do this job, because of your Dad, because you loved him. But it's a dangerous gig and sooner or later you'll lose everything and everyone. Or you'll die. I couldn't stand that, Jo. I don't think that's the life your father planed for you, I never met him, I can't tell for sure. But I can say that I don't want this life for you. Promise me to find a better life. I respect the love you have for your father, I understand, but please, respect my love for you as well.

"Doesn't matter," said Jo and stood up, "Where are they?"

Ellen felt the cold hand of fear reaching for her heart, because she saw her worst nightmare come true. There was suddenly hope on Jo's face and Ellen knew that hope was the last thing her daughter needed right now. There was simply nothing left to hope for.

"Jo, don't do something stupid!"

Yes, you read right. My love for you. I love you. I have loved you for a long time. I think it started the second I tried to talk you into some cheap sex and than realized, that I was going to make a mistake. Back then I thought I was acting strange because my father just died, but a few weeks later I was sitting behind the steering wheel and sang REO, with Sam riding shotgun… You should have seen his face. I know you'll probably hate my, you'll probably feel cheated, because I decided to let it never happen. Maybe that was a mistake, but keep in mind, you would have lost me. You're a young and very beautiful woman; your life has just begun. Keep me in your heart but move on. Don't do something stupid, Jo.

Jo reached into the pocket of her leather jacket and found the two most valuable things she possessed her fathers knife and the letter. She gave her mother a little smile.

"I promise I won't."