Disclaimer:
Anything belonging to the HP universe belongs to J.K. Rowling and others who have bought the rights to meddle with her toys. Anything that's not is mine, unless stated otherwise. I'm just playing around here, not making money, so please don't sue.

Author's note's:
This is a birthday fic for Tsosh. Her birthday was months ago and I didn't have time to finish it, but she did give me this prompt: well, obviously Harry/Draco. Bottom!Draco if it get's that far grins (and here's my favourite H/D art for inspiration). As for actual prompts that aren't about sex... er... how about a different country, stuck in a desert, unattractive!Draco, handsome-Auror!Harry, and Harry saves Draco on a camel? (sorry, this tourist commercial pic made me do it!)
An idea for a scene: Draco falls on a cactus and Harry forces him to take his pants off and turn around while he extracts all the thorns out of Draco's bum and paste some aloe-vera on.
This is what I did finish. What do you think, does Tsosh deserve to get her birthdayfic even if it's way overdue, or should I be punished for even thinking about giving a monstrosity like this away?

Summary:
The war is over and Draco Malfoy is hiding in Egypt. Harry is sent after him to bring him in.

Exile in Egypt

Harry Potter tried to shake some sand out of his trousers as he stood up. Damned stuff got everywhere. Harry still failed to understand why Draco Malfoy had chosen to hide in Egypt of all places. Egypt! There was nothing here but pyramids and sand! And it was hot too! The Ministry's best Auror managed to plaster a smile on his face though and turned around to offer his hand.

"Thank you for your help, mister …" Harry pumped the large man's hand enthusiastically as he scrambled for the name. "Hothep," he finally finished. Mister Hothep was a large, burly wizard, who reminded Harry faintly of Kingsley Shacklebolt. He had been Harry's first contact upon arriving in Egypt and had arranged a hotel and meetings with several other wizards who could help him find out more about Malfoy's whereabouts. Granted, they knew the Malfoy heir was hiding in Egypt, but Egypt was a big country and searching for a blond wizard was like searching for a needle in a haystack.

"Anytime mister Potter, anytime," the large wizard rumbled, before excusing himself and exiting the hotel. Harry sighed as he made his way out of the dining room and towards his room. This had been the worst assignment ever. Why on earth had Kingsley send him after Malfoy? But Harry knew why. Malfoy had eluded them for years. Five years since the end of the war and nobody had been able to catch him. And whom did the ministry send to do the job no one else could? Right, Harry Potter. Because Harry Potter could do anything.

Harry sighed again as he opened the door to his room. It was a miracle he really had gotten all the jobs done so far, but this one was going to be the hardest yet. Gathering his breath to sigh again, Harry dragged his eyes of the floor – old habits die hard and people tended not to notice his scar when he was looking down. His breath came out in a great 'whoop' instead.

The room was absolutely huge, with soft red carpeting and panelled walls. There was a large double bed against the left wall, facing towards the floor-to-ceiling windows and two glass doors that led onto a balcony Harry thought was big enough to hold a party on. On his left, there was a wardrobe he would probably lose his clothes in it had so many doors.

Harry walked into the room and started milling around, discovering a marble bathroom with golden taps, a bathtub sunken in the floor that he could probably swim in. The other door in his room led to another bedroom, with a slightly smaller bed and a fireplace surrounded by comfortable looking armchairs and a large grey couch. Going back to the larger bedroom and sitting down on the bed, Harry noticed a remote control on the nightstand. He looked around the room again, but couldn't find a television anywhere. He took another look at the remote control, pointed it into the room and pressed the on-button just to see if something would happen. A whispered 'wow' escaped him, when a large flat screen television lowered itself from the ceiling, blinked on and welcomed him to the hotel.

Draco Malfoy was not happy and that was so much of an understatement even a dwarf wouldn't be able to delve it up. Five years, five bloody years had he been running from the ministry. His money was either gone or useless, he had no place to stay, nothing to eat and no possessions but the clothes he wore and even those had seen better days. He had been tempted to turn himself in more than once these last few months, just so he could get a decent meal, a shower and some clean undergarments. The only thing that had kept him from doing so was fear of what his punishment might be.

So instead the Malfoy heir cursed colourfully as he stripped and took his shabby clothes with him into the small pool he had made into his bathtub. It was an outrage really that none of the animals, particularly the dangerous ones, seemed to have gotten the message. So Draco was forced to stay alert and keep his wand ready while he washed himself and his clothes best he could. He then went about finding a suitable tree branch to hang his clothes to dry. Which was not that easy, because palm trees have the nasty habit of growing high and developing branches and leaves only at the top. On the bright side, Draco thought wryly, at least he had dried up once he found a place to dry his clothes.