Hello everyone! ^_^ Well, this is my first Seto\Jou fic, my inspiration (and consequent love of Seto\Jou) coming from SSJ Sky! If you love S\J... go read!
This fic is dedicated to EVERYONE who loves Seto\Jou angst and fluff! Enjoy, my darlings! ^_^
*~*~*~*~*~*
Jou sat on the field. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so low… if ever. But even worse than feeling low, he felt very little else… despair, anger, hurt and mourning - they were all there, but there was just so *little* of them.
"Can't I even grieve properly?"
Exactly one month ago, Jou's world had fallen apart. Fallen, scattered to the end of the universe and locked away.
"Serenity…" he whispered. No matter how much he wanted it to, not even saying her name could make him cry. "Why? Why can't I hurt for you? Why were you taken from me?"
Jou grimaced, but still the tears wouldn't come.
*~*~*Flashback*~*~*
"Serenity!" Jou cried. "Watch out!"
Serenity turned to her brother, to see what he meant - and couldn't avoid the oncoming car.
Jou sank to his knees as Serenity was thrown up the road, her scream seeming to echo for an eternity. Jou saw the shape she took as she flew. He *heard* her skull hit the bonnet. He saw the angle her body was at when she came to a stop, thirty metres on. And he saw the bastard drive on without even slowing down.
Jou shakily got to his feet. "No…" he whispered, running up the road as best his legs would let him. "Please God… if you're taking her, take her now… don't let her suffer, please…"
As he got to his younger sister's side - 'Oh God, my baby sister!' - he was sure she was dead - that his prayer had been answered… but a small whimper soon told him otherwise.
"No… Serenity…" he gasped. She couldn't be alive… her face… her arms… her back… surely no-one could survive that? He knelt down beside her, and as she rolled her dull jade eyes to look at him, and he saw the pain she was in, he felt all the strength his body had drain away.
"Jou…" she whispered, tears in her eyes.
It was all she said. She died as the ambulance arrived.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"Sir, we found the man responsible for your sister's…" The policeman couldn't bring himself to say it, but it didn't matter to Jou. The policeman knew how hard Jou had taken it - had practically spent the entire time by his side - and Jou knew from the look on his face what was coming.
"…Is he gonna go to jail?"
The policeman shifted uncomfortably. "No… we… found him half a mile up the road… He'd crashed."
Jou felt a bitter taste rise in his mouth. Justice had been snatched once, and he had only one faint hope of it left. "Did… did he suffer? Like Serenity did?" Jou looked up to the policeman, his eyes wide, demanding an answer.
The policeman shuffled again, and took a deep, calming breath. "No… he was heavily intoxicated… and we believe he died on impact."
This was the final blow for Jou. "So he got away scott-free…" That was all Jou could take. It was then that his world finally cracked.
*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*
"If I hadn't called her… she might have survived… she'd have carried on running across that road. She might not even have been hit… Why did I do that? Why couldn't I protect her? What kind of brother am I?!" Jou screwed his face up, but still couldn't cry. "DAMN IT!" He yelled. "…I want to see you again sis… I need to… I can't live without you."
Jou stood up and - almost mechanically - began walking to the cliff's edge. As he went, he began quietly singing a song - the only song he'd listened to since that day. His voice didn't shake, as he half-expected, but there was a definite coarseness about it. He didn't even care about singing well, instead trusting the song to maybe - just maybe - let his emotions free before it was too late.
"Please come now, I think I'm falling
Holding on to what I think is safe.
It seems I've found a road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape."
Jou halted less than a foot from the edge, and looked down, his face grim with determination and his hair flopping about in the wind. Below him lay Domino's Teeth - the name given to the rocky area that had caused so many shipwrecks in Domino City's history. The Teeth seemed to beckon to him, inviting him to become another body to claim - and he was listening.
"I am about to when I heard thunder," he sang softly.
From behind him came a voice. "Jou! What are you doing?!"
Ah, yes. He was here. The one person who could have saved the pitiful wreck Jou had become. The only other person Jou had ever truly, deeply cared for, on that special other plane. But that emotion, like the rest, was almost dead, Jou's heart an empty shell. If he'd have tried something sooner… but no. And now it was too late. Jou looked up and held the other boy's eye even as he strode to Jou, the boy's eyes mirroring the ocean and his trenchcoat flapping about his feet.
"Damn it Mutt, what are you thinking?" Seto cried.
Jou dropped the eye contact, instead facing the sea, and proclaimed his song loudly so that anyone who cared could listen.
"But I'm down to one last breath!
And will it let me say…?"
Jou returned his attention to Seto, who stopped, and Jou's voice dropped to a more quiet, somehow morose tone.
"Hold me now… I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
Maybe six feet ain't so far down."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Seto stared at Jou, his mouth hanging open slightly. 'Shit… he can't mean it!' his mind cried out. 'No… please?'
Seto was perhaps the only person who understood what Jou felt like. He remembered how he felt when he'd nearly lost Mokuba. Jou had really come through for him then - Jou, of all people! - and Seto had begun to like the mutt. Or, as he had later realised was more appropriate, the puppy. He had never let on, of course, but he thought Jou could somehow tell anyway. Jou had begun to be even nicer to Seto, and Seto had grown to like Jou more in return. Eventually, Seto had even developed a crush on the little Jou puppy-dog.
As Seto remembered how he had felt when Mokuba was on life support, he realised that this situation felt so similar - only this time, as well as having to prepare himself for grieving, he *was* Jou's life support machine. And screaming at anyone nearby to not hit the switch.
"Jou!" Seto cried, his voice full of horror and desperation, not bothering to conceal how he felt any more. "Please… don't!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Jou heard the compassionate plea, and for a second his eyes cleared. Oh-so-briefly, he looked like he did when Serenity was still alive - when he was with Seto at Mokuba's side. The moment passed though, and he returned his attention to the Teeth.
"I'm broken down, now that it's over
I'm floating on my mistakes."
Jou's foot began to creep forward, and Seto gasped. He prayed to any gods listening the he wouldn't have to witness Jou jumping, and rushed forward. However, Jou stopped and snapped his head back to Seto, causing Seto to freeze in his footsteps. He didn't like what he saw in Jou's eyes.
"I thought I found the road to somewhere -"
"Stop it Jounouchi!"
"-Somewhere in his grace."
'Shit, he really means it!' Seto gritted his teeth, trying desperately to think how he could get Jou to stop, or at least come away from the edge so they could talk.
Jou returned his attention to the ocean again, amplifying his voice.
"I cried out 'Heaven save me!'
But I'm down to one last breath
And will it let me say…?"
Jou suddenly spun round totally, so he was completely facing Seto, taking a step toward Seto as he did so to catch his balance. His voice turned to halfway between screaming and singing, giving him and even rougher edge to it.
"Hold me now! I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
Maybe six feet ain't so far down!"
Jou began panting slightly. Was his anger finally beginning to break through?
"I'm so far down… sad eyes follow me!"
Jou's expression suddenly softened, as did his voice, and he fixed a pair of pleading eyes on Seto's ocean-blue jewels.
"Well I still believe there's something left for me…"
Seto saw the look Jou gave. 'Holy shit… does he feel for me too?!'
"So please don't stay with me"
Seto realised he had to try it.
"Cause I still believe there's something there for you and me…"
Seto caught Jou's eye, and for half a second the real Jou, the puppy, shone through, full of desperation and fear and… passion. He didn't want to jump… but he had nothing to stay for.
"Jounouchi, I love you!"
Jou's face softened, and stunned look crossed his eyes.
His shoulders slumped and - ever so slowly - he began to lean back, almost involuntarily. As he carried on singing, his voice became almost a whisper.
"Hold me now… I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking…"
Seto screamed something - he didn't know what - and sprinted to Jou, diving to pull him away…
…and just caught him. Seto bundled Jou up in his arms as he rolled away from the edge, holding him tightly.
'Shit…' he thought. 'If he hadn't taken that one step forward…'
Seto clutched his puppy closer, never wanting to let go. He realised then that he meant what he'd said to Jou - and if he had jumped, Seto couldn't guarantee anyone - even Mokuba - that he wouldn't have followed. He kissed Jou lightly on the forehead, and whispered "Please don't do that again."
He suddenly realised that Jou was sobbing in his arms, his empty shell full again, the barriers broken down, and he barely caught the last line of Jou's song.
"…holding on to what I think is safe…"
His song over, Jou gripped Seto, all the bottled-up emotions flooding out. Grief. Anger. Despair. Hurt. Loneliness. Regret. But, most importantly of all, he had found someone who could help him.
Jou planted a kiss on Seto's neck, before burying his face in Seto's chest. Between sobs, he managed to utter one more sentence. The one that meant the most to him.
"…love you too, Seto…"
At that moment, Jou slowly began to pick up the keys to the locks. And slowly, so slowly, his world began to come back together.
*~*~*~*~*~*
So... what do we think people? Probably not my best work.. but I didn't think it was so bad really.
And my question to you wonderful people is this: This fic was originally intended to be a one-shot, and it shall remain so. However... I recognise the opportunity for a sequel, as I'm sure many of you do. The question is - should I, and do you really think I'm capable?
At any rate, please review! Onegai?
Oh, and for those massive Yaoi fans out there... my current main fic is entitled 'The Forbidden Love of a Pharaoh' - it contains Yami\Yugi, Bakura\Malik, lots of fluffy scenes, will contain a couple of limes and a lemon or two, and I'm gonna try to put in a Seto\Jou pairing! ^_^ Go check it out - pretty please?
This fic is dedicated to EVERYONE who loves Seto\Jou angst and fluff! Enjoy, my darlings! ^_^
*~*~*~*~*~*
Jou sat on the field. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so low… if ever. But even worse than feeling low, he felt very little else… despair, anger, hurt and mourning - they were all there, but there was just so *little* of them.
"Can't I even grieve properly?"
Exactly one month ago, Jou's world had fallen apart. Fallen, scattered to the end of the universe and locked away.
"Serenity…" he whispered. No matter how much he wanted it to, not even saying her name could make him cry. "Why? Why can't I hurt for you? Why were you taken from me?"
Jou grimaced, but still the tears wouldn't come.
*~*~*Flashback*~*~*
"Serenity!" Jou cried. "Watch out!"
Serenity turned to her brother, to see what he meant - and couldn't avoid the oncoming car.
Jou sank to his knees as Serenity was thrown up the road, her scream seeming to echo for an eternity. Jou saw the shape she took as she flew. He *heard* her skull hit the bonnet. He saw the angle her body was at when she came to a stop, thirty metres on. And he saw the bastard drive on without even slowing down.
Jou shakily got to his feet. "No…" he whispered, running up the road as best his legs would let him. "Please God… if you're taking her, take her now… don't let her suffer, please…"
As he got to his younger sister's side - 'Oh God, my baby sister!' - he was sure she was dead - that his prayer had been answered… but a small whimper soon told him otherwise.
"No… Serenity…" he gasped. She couldn't be alive… her face… her arms… her back… surely no-one could survive that? He knelt down beside her, and as she rolled her dull jade eyes to look at him, and he saw the pain she was in, he felt all the strength his body had drain away.
"Jou…" she whispered, tears in her eyes.
It was all she said. She died as the ambulance arrived.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"Sir, we found the man responsible for your sister's…" The policeman couldn't bring himself to say it, but it didn't matter to Jou. The policeman knew how hard Jou had taken it - had practically spent the entire time by his side - and Jou knew from the look on his face what was coming.
"…Is he gonna go to jail?"
The policeman shifted uncomfortably. "No… we… found him half a mile up the road… He'd crashed."
Jou felt a bitter taste rise in his mouth. Justice had been snatched once, and he had only one faint hope of it left. "Did… did he suffer? Like Serenity did?" Jou looked up to the policeman, his eyes wide, demanding an answer.
The policeman shuffled again, and took a deep, calming breath. "No… he was heavily intoxicated… and we believe he died on impact."
This was the final blow for Jou. "So he got away scott-free…" That was all Jou could take. It was then that his world finally cracked.
*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*
"If I hadn't called her… she might have survived… she'd have carried on running across that road. She might not even have been hit… Why did I do that? Why couldn't I protect her? What kind of brother am I?!" Jou screwed his face up, but still couldn't cry. "DAMN IT!" He yelled. "…I want to see you again sis… I need to… I can't live without you."
Jou stood up and - almost mechanically - began walking to the cliff's edge. As he went, he began quietly singing a song - the only song he'd listened to since that day. His voice didn't shake, as he half-expected, but there was a definite coarseness about it. He didn't even care about singing well, instead trusting the song to maybe - just maybe - let his emotions free before it was too late.
"Please come now, I think I'm falling
Holding on to what I think is safe.
It seems I've found a road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape."
Jou halted less than a foot from the edge, and looked down, his face grim with determination and his hair flopping about in the wind. Below him lay Domino's Teeth - the name given to the rocky area that had caused so many shipwrecks in Domino City's history. The Teeth seemed to beckon to him, inviting him to become another body to claim - and he was listening.
"I am about to when I heard thunder," he sang softly.
From behind him came a voice. "Jou! What are you doing?!"
Ah, yes. He was here. The one person who could have saved the pitiful wreck Jou had become. The only other person Jou had ever truly, deeply cared for, on that special other plane. But that emotion, like the rest, was almost dead, Jou's heart an empty shell. If he'd have tried something sooner… but no. And now it was too late. Jou looked up and held the other boy's eye even as he strode to Jou, the boy's eyes mirroring the ocean and his trenchcoat flapping about his feet.
"Damn it Mutt, what are you thinking?" Seto cried.
Jou dropped the eye contact, instead facing the sea, and proclaimed his song loudly so that anyone who cared could listen.
"But I'm down to one last breath!
And will it let me say…?"
Jou returned his attention to Seto, who stopped, and Jou's voice dropped to a more quiet, somehow morose tone.
"Hold me now… I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
Maybe six feet ain't so far down."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Seto stared at Jou, his mouth hanging open slightly. 'Shit… he can't mean it!' his mind cried out. 'No… please?'
Seto was perhaps the only person who understood what Jou felt like. He remembered how he felt when he'd nearly lost Mokuba. Jou had really come through for him then - Jou, of all people! - and Seto had begun to like the mutt. Or, as he had later realised was more appropriate, the puppy. He had never let on, of course, but he thought Jou could somehow tell anyway. Jou had begun to be even nicer to Seto, and Seto had grown to like Jou more in return. Eventually, Seto had even developed a crush on the little Jou puppy-dog.
As Seto remembered how he had felt when Mokuba was on life support, he realised that this situation felt so similar - only this time, as well as having to prepare himself for grieving, he *was* Jou's life support machine. And screaming at anyone nearby to not hit the switch.
"Jou!" Seto cried, his voice full of horror and desperation, not bothering to conceal how he felt any more. "Please… don't!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Jou heard the compassionate plea, and for a second his eyes cleared. Oh-so-briefly, he looked like he did when Serenity was still alive - when he was with Seto at Mokuba's side. The moment passed though, and he returned his attention to the Teeth.
"I'm broken down, now that it's over
I'm floating on my mistakes."
Jou's foot began to creep forward, and Seto gasped. He prayed to any gods listening the he wouldn't have to witness Jou jumping, and rushed forward. However, Jou stopped and snapped his head back to Seto, causing Seto to freeze in his footsteps. He didn't like what he saw in Jou's eyes.
"I thought I found the road to somewhere -"
"Stop it Jounouchi!"
"-Somewhere in his grace."
'Shit, he really means it!' Seto gritted his teeth, trying desperately to think how he could get Jou to stop, or at least come away from the edge so they could talk.
Jou returned his attention to the ocean again, amplifying his voice.
"I cried out 'Heaven save me!'
But I'm down to one last breath
And will it let me say…?"
Jou suddenly spun round totally, so he was completely facing Seto, taking a step toward Seto as he did so to catch his balance. His voice turned to halfway between screaming and singing, giving him and even rougher edge to it.
"Hold me now! I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
Maybe six feet ain't so far down!"
Jou began panting slightly. Was his anger finally beginning to break through?
"I'm so far down… sad eyes follow me!"
Jou's expression suddenly softened, as did his voice, and he fixed a pair of pleading eyes on Seto's ocean-blue jewels.
"Well I still believe there's something left for me…"
Seto saw the look Jou gave. 'Holy shit… does he feel for me too?!'
"So please don't stay with me"
Seto realised he had to try it.
"Cause I still believe there's something there for you and me…"
Seto caught Jou's eye, and for half a second the real Jou, the puppy, shone through, full of desperation and fear and… passion. He didn't want to jump… but he had nothing to stay for.
"Jounouchi, I love you!"
Jou's face softened, and stunned look crossed his eyes.
His shoulders slumped and - ever so slowly - he began to lean back, almost involuntarily. As he carried on singing, his voice became almost a whisper.
"Hold me now… I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking…"
Seto screamed something - he didn't know what - and sprinted to Jou, diving to pull him away…
…and just caught him. Seto bundled Jou up in his arms as he rolled away from the edge, holding him tightly.
'Shit…' he thought. 'If he hadn't taken that one step forward…'
Seto clutched his puppy closer, never wanting to let go. He realised then that he meant what he'd said to Jou - and if he had jumped, Seto couldn't guarantee anyone - even Mokuba - that he wouldn't have followed. He kissed Jou lightly on the forehead, and whispered "Please don't do that again."
He suddenly realised that Jou was sobbing in his arms, his empty shell full again, the barriers broken down, and he barely caught the last line of Jou's song.
"…holding on to what I think is safe…"
His song over, Jou gripped Seto, all the bottled-up emotions flooding out. Grief. Anger. Despair. Hurt. Loneliness. Regret. But, most importantly of all, he had found someone who could help him.
Jou planted a kiss on Seto's neck, before burying his face in Seto's chest. Between sobs, he managed to utter one more sentence. The one that meant the most to him.
"…love you too, Seto…"
At that moment, Jou slowly began to pick up the keys to the locks. And slowly, so slowly, his world began to come back together.
*~*~*~*~*~*
So... what do we think people? Probably not my best work.. but I didn't think it was so bad really.
And my question to you wonderful people is this: This fic was originally intended to be a one-shot, and it shall remain so. However... I recognise the opportunity for a sequel, as I'm sure many of you do. The question is - should I, and do you really think I'm capable?
At any rate, please review! Onegai?
Oh, and for those massive Yaoi fans out there... my current main fic is entitled 'The Forbidden Love of a Pharaoh' - it contains Yami\Yugi, Bakura\Malik, lots of fluffy scenes, will contain a couple of limes and a lemon or two, and I'm gonna try to put in a Seto\Jou pairing! ^_^ Go check it out - pretty please?