Diary Entry

I don't know what it is but, something is deffinetly different. He looks the same on the outside but he's not the same. Its as if his body has been taken over by someone. Some with a lot of pain and rage. When I was hurting he was my go to guy. Now he's the reason that I'm hurting. I love him with all my body and soul,but part of me wants to let go. Part of me wants to leave him where he stands and never look back. But still theres something keeping my feet planted right beside his. The same thing is keeping my heart in his hand, and my tears on my pillow. This isn't what I asked for.

I closed my diary and layed it back inside my drawer. This life isn't what I long for. This pain isn't what I want to feel. And Joe is the only thing keeping me from being happy again. And he's also the reason I know what happiness truly is. I'm torn between What love is and what I want it to be. Day after day I feel my heart slowly fade away. Love is a false emotion that I have tricked myself into feeling for the 'new' Joe. Maybe if my heart stops beating it wont hurt this much. I turned over on my side and looked out the window as I saw a shooting star. I closed my eyes and made a wish. A wish that will never come true. A wish for things to be as they used to be. I wish that I could go back to when we first met. And have that feeling that he planted inside my heart once again. I wish...

Five years ago

"Mom I'm going to jog now!" I screamed into my mother's bathroom. "Have fun." I grabbed my MP3 player,keys, and a bottle of water and headed out the house. I was turning onto Hale street when I was knocked onto my butt. "I'm so sorry. Are you ok?" A voice asked while reaching out their hand. I grabbed the hand and stood to see who knocked me down. He was so gorgeous. I've never seen him around him before. "Y-yeah I'm ok. Are you?" He smiled and ruffled his hair. "Well your head hit my chest kinda hard I think my heart stopped for a second. Or maybe it was love at first sight." I laughed at his attempt to woo me. "That was funny..." I said waiting for him to say his name. "Joseph but you can call me Joe..." He said. This time waiting for my name. "Shannon. You can call me later." I said flirting. He caught on to what I said and smiled down at me. "Is that so?" I looked back at him. "Yeah if you want to." He pulled out his phone. "I want to." He was so cute. Not just physically but his personality is cute. He's kinda goofy and I really like that. I handed him my phone so he could put his number in as I did the same. "Ok Joseph you better call me." He started to walk past me. "Most deffinetly." He said while jogging down the street. I knew I had to be blushing because I haven't even started to run yet and my face was hot. I finished my workout and went back home to shower and change into something more comfortable. My phone started to ring and I was surprised to see the name "Joe" flashing on the screen. "Hello?" I said waiting for a reply. "Hey this is Joe." I smiled at how nervous he sounded. "Yes I know. So what's up?" He cleared his throat then said. "Well I'm new around here and was wondering if you could show me around." I was immediately looking through my closet for something cute to wear. "Yeah I'd love to." I told him to meet me at the corner we met at in fifteen minutes. I quickly got dressed and put on my lipgloss and headed to the door. "Shannon where are you going?" Aww my mom always has to ruin things. "I'm going for a walk with a friend." She looked at my attire and gave me that 'yeah just a friend' look. "Mom can I please go now." She sighed and waved me off. "Bye." I screamed as I walked out the door. When I got to the corner Joe was already standing there.

Ok that's

all for now

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